trash 643
Remember: If you
don’t get up early, you cannot drink all day. Four to six mile fun runs on
Saturdays at 10 a.m. Check out 202-PUDJAM0 for directions. What the scribe
writes is always the truth.
Mark
your calendars now. The Mount Vernon Hash House Harriers have several
exceptional upcoming opportunities to enjoy a good beer after a good run. All
right, it might not be a good run. But at least you’ll get a beer.
Coming
in just a week is the annual Thanksgiving
Leftover Hash (That would be Nov. 27.) Hared by 3TimesALady, this promises
to be a great way to eat even more during the long holiday weekend. Hashers are
expected to bring some sort of side dish, salad, or desert to ensure this is a
feast not to be beat. Please let 3TimesALady know what you intend to bring so
we don’t end up with 50 sides of sweet potatoes. Directions are at the end of
the trash.
Just
a few weeks later is the White Elephant
Hash on Dec. 11, which will be hared and coordinated by Perk-a-Set. Bring a
wrapped gift worth about $10 for the present exchange. Remember that any
drinking vessel included with the gift requires the recipient to do a quick
down-down. The habs are preparing our annual long-sleeve shirt for purchase to
commemorate the event.
Want
to attend the first hash of the millennium in the United States? Then sign up
now for our first New Year’s Eve party.
This catered black-tie event at Dr. Strangelove’s abode features booze, dinner,
music, and a live trail with the hares off as soon as the clock strikes
midnight. A catered breakfast will follow the run, which will feature champagne
checks. At only $50 per person this is a bargain. Space is limited so please
sign up now.
The
last big event for this year’s mismanagement will be the Spring Fertility/Wine-me-Dine-me-669 Weekend, set for April 29 and
30 in Hagerstown, Maryland. We moved this event forward a week to avoid
Mother’s Day and to take advantage of the tie-in with the 569th run.
We have rooms blocked at Motel 6 (the lap of luxury) and the dinner planned.
Expect registration and promotional information to overwhelm you starting in
February.
The
bitches were back.
Dual
Airbags, Cunning Runt, and Blazing Straddled tested their vocal cords – when
they were not shoving Oreo cookies down their throats. – at the 643rd
running of the Mount Vernon Hash House Harriers. (As an aside: didn’t anyone
teach these girls to share. They offed an entire package of Oreo cookies by
themselves) Screams from the bitches combined with the roar of the beltway
overhead made for a very noisy ending to a well-laid and executed hash.
Hares LateComer, Perk-a-Set, and Puts it Out began
this merry morning event at an elementary school very close to the intersection
of Georgetown Pike and the beltway. This made it one of the shorter drives to a
MVH3 hash for your acting scribe and JM. Joining us in the parking lot was the
local recycling program, which meant a parade of cars nearly killed the
otherwise oblivious pack.
Deciding to keep as many hashers alive as possible,
Hawaiian Puke ordered the pack to assemble on the grass where Beezer and
Bullwinkle had just done their businesses. The pack, being oblivious, did not
seem to mind.
Trouble was detected early on. Quick Drawers, showing
his age, appeared unable to move his arms and legs during Father Abe. This was
fixed when hash hound Bullwinkle threatened to neuter him if he did not follow
her master’s commands. Bite Me Elmo and Great Balls of Fire also were causing
trouble, prompting the pack to replace ``Byte is a Ho’’ with ``Bite Me is a
Bitch’’ or something close.
Speaking of bitches...... Where has Byte been?
Back to our story. The
pack departed behind the school and flour was soon lost at a check in a ball
field. Ranger Dick ran to a bridge and found nothing. Cunning Runt led a group
out of the park and found nothing. Next I know Full Mental Balls comes running
past saying trail has been spied on the other side of the park. He then takes
off in the opposite direction of the flour. I did not follow.
Instead I caught up with Well Drilled for a short
trek through a neighborhood which led to a pipe under the beltway. A small
group of FRBs was ahead of me and apparently found a back check just as I hit a
new neighborhood. Trail proceeded through the high-rent district and into Scott
Run nature preserve. A smart check split the pack and we did not regroup until
getting lost in the middle of the park. I’m not sure who found true trail, but
I know it wasn’t French Toasted who falsely called on-on and led the pack
astray.
Once I was pack on true trail, I passed Loan Shark
while screaming down a hill. We then hit a check. Cunning Runt led the FRBs on
a big short cut – like they really needed one – while French Toasted and I took
the pack on true trail. A water stop was had and then Bullwinkle decided to
play in the leaves. We walked for a bit and realized no one was passing us.
Fortunately we crossed a stream and Bullwinkle was energized.
After reentering the woods, we came across Latin
Anal-ist who was desperately trying to keep her feet dry while crossing a
stream. Next up was Loan Shark and Cheap Slut who seemed to have too much fun
climbing a monster of a hill. After another pipe – featuring Missing Link at
the end – trail ended underneath the beltway by the Potomac River.
Chili was served, beer was cold, and all had fun. It
was a great trail.
Your friendly acting scribe and Hawiian Puke called
up the circle. The hares were forced to drink for a shitty run. Then – thanks
to Hairy Buddha’s alert eyes – for leaving a bag of flour at the start. Virgins
and Visitors were brought up, including some idiot who said he was a visitor
from Arlington who ran with the Mount Vernon hash (he got the hashit). And he
wasn’t even drunk. I’d name all these folks but the sheet is missing.
Anniversaries were called. People were tied up, down-downs occurred. Black Box
made her announcement, Big Bird Turd attempted to molest your mismanagement and
the bitches never shut up.
Speaking of the bitches, DAB and Blazing Straddle are
apparently noisy drunks. Having borrowed a jacket from Dual Airbags, Blazing
was forced to drink every time Dual drank and because Dual has a mouth that is
bigger than her bags, they were drinking during almost every down-down. This
had the unintended consequence of making the Duals even louder. To combat this
problem, mismanagement has declared that the Duals only shall do warm soda
down-downs.
Special thanks to Black Box for copying and bringing
the trash!!!!
DIRECTIONS:
Thanksgiving Leftover Hash
Directions to Nov.
27 Thanksgiving Leftover Hash.
Remember, bring side dish and tell
3TimesALady what it is. From Beltway: Take the Toll Road to Wiehle Avenue. Left on Wiehle and get in the right lane. At
the second light (the end of the road) take a right (Sunrise Valley). At the
first light take a left (Soapstone) Follow Soapstone about 2 miles until reach
a 4-way stop sign. (Glade Drive) Take a right on Glade - The building and
parking lot is on your right.
Dog Friendly - yes - but not
allowed inside. Stroller Friendly - yes - on walkers trail.
With the cold weather approaching, our numbers typically drop. To ensure we remain on strong financial footing, we are dropping the maximum amount hares may spend to $175 per run. As per the previous policy, hares may ask for an extra $25 if they inherit fewer than two cases of beer and two cases of soda. When it warms up again, we will increase the level back to $200.