If it ain’t live hare, it ain’t Mount Vernon.
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Run: # 661
Date: March 11, 2000
Hares: Well Drilled Dry Hole, Yank Me Out
Location: National Zoo(ish)
Another Well Drilled Dry Hole trail, same start as the last one. The last time we did this, WDDH, Yank Me Out, and Yes Dear kept us out for hours trying to follow a screwed up trail; would it happen again, or would kicking Yes Dear off the hare list eliminate all problems? Only time would tell.
Rain was gently falling as the hares sprinted away, puffs of flour turning to sticky dough upon contact with the ground. What a great day for a hash!
Put It Out was the only hare from last week's spoogefest trail who braved facing the pack, the other two opting to maintain a low profile until the survivors had a chance to clean their shoes a few times.
We began trail as last time - downhill, into the woods. Yes Dear carried me partway down the hill, Hollow Point pushed me on the uphill portion. Now if only I can recruit someone for the flat portions, I may extend the life of my hashing shoes.
Then it really began to rain. All chalk markings washed away, which kept the pack together. Fortunately the hares had marked trail mostly with dough.
At one web-like intersection, Bite Me Elmo checked at least seven of the directions as we stood at the check and offered words of encouragement. When she did not return, we left a pile of sticks pointing in the direction in which she was last seen.
Soon we crossed several lanes of slow traffic (not like the I66 crossing of the previous week), and dropped into Rock Creek Park. After missing a turn, Hops led the way for Indecent Proposal and me down an embankment that had - get this - NO POISON IVY!! We dove out of the way of Big Luci who, as usual, was pulling Big Bird Turd along on his leash.
The horny GBOF blew us across another major intersection and among some of the more pul·chri·tu·di·nous embassies.
More streets. More rain. The Cathedral. A rained-out baseball game. Traces of flour.
Another web-like intersection and remnants of a check. Hashers began to congregate as Barney's Bitch checked North, Milk Money checked South, Blazing Straddle checked East, Loan Shark checked West, Tipper Whipper checked NE, Latin Analyst checked NW, Pointless checked SE, Full Metal Balls checked SW; still no goo. Checking UP, a white blob was spied on yon tree; an investigation revealed a faint BEER NEAR just beyond. Soon we were at Chez Well Drilled Dry Hole, who urged us not to remove our shoes upon entering.
Lots of food and beverage awaited us, along with a birthday for the Master Sgt, Ret., Full Metal Balls.
Uh huh, I can see now the problem was Yes Dear.
We were allowed time to dry out and to eat before circle was called. First up were hares Well Drilled Dry Hole and Yank Me Out.
Anniversaries: Tipper Whipper - 5; Duane Gabor - 5; Barney's Bitch - 15, and the leader of the Get-A-Life Club: Put It Out with 75. We had one acknowledged virgin - Jonathan Sharp.
Visitors: Hops, Just Chris, Sextra Credit, and Just Andrea.
Returners: Leave It In Beaver, Cyclops, Duane Gabor, Dicksickle, Latin Analyst, Hymen Dickover, Bramble Bush, and Interhashing Tasmaniacs Pay Per View, Mellow Foreskin Cheese, Captain Titanic, Cunning Runt, and Dr. Jekyll.
Violations were in two categories:
1 Fashion Statements.
Nurse Crotchet and Pudnocker - wearing identical tights, and they haven't been married even a year yet; Well Drilled and Bullshit - wearing really nice clothes in the circle; Hawaiian Puke - new Puke shirt; Stained Sheetz, Pointless, and Wankers Aweigh - discussing shoe dynamics (motion control, arch support, GPS, etc.); Wankers Aweigh, Back Snatch, Loan Shark - wearing r*cing shirts; and Cheap Slut for his "Kiss Me I'm Irish" shorts and his new grandson, one day old.
2. Latecomers.
Captain Titanic, Dual Air Bags, Quick Drawers, Cums In 3 Courts, and Whore Moans. Note to GBOF: not as long as I'm doing violations! Ha!
There was no competition for hashit: birthday boy Full Metal Balls. I missed his present, but he filled me in later on the important part: "Six of 'em flashed me!" "Tits?" "No, six harriettes, eleven tits!"
!!!!!!!!!!!!!SIX MORE WEEKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Next Hash
Date: March 25, 2000
Hares: Da Bitches
Special cost: $10
Announcing a special, one-time only Bitch (pronounced "beach") Hash starring Dual Air Bags (in absentia), Cunning Runt, and Dr. Jekyll as "da Bitches"! For a special price of $10 you get to hash through the scenic vistas of Reston on a trail designed to delight and amaze you, as well as to leave you bitching at the end. Naturally there will be good beer, good food, and by special edict from the HashMasters - a FREE Gift. That's right, just by attending this hash you will receive a FREE gift guaranteed to make you start "bitchin" if you weren't already.
Directions: 495 to 267 Toll Road. It will cost 50 cents to get on and 25 cents to get off. Get off at the Reston Parkway exit. Turn right onto Reston Parkway. At the about the 8th light, turn right onto Center Harbor Road. Take your first left onto North Village Road. Look for the deviates in the pavilion on the left, about .25 miles down.
For the latest MVH3 information, and links to all area hashes, visit Harddrive's web page: http://www.dchashing.org/mvh3
If you still don't have internet access, get updates on area hashes on the hotline: (202) PUDJAM0, take option 6 for MVH3.
Receding Hareline:
Hash 664 – April 1st – Mystery
Hash 665 – April 8th – ?
Hash 666 – April 15th – Holy Tit
Hash 667 - April 22nd -
Hash 668 & 669 - AGM
Hash 670 - NEW MISMANAGEMENT!!!!! 6 MORE WEEKS!!!
Announcements:
The MVH3 Millennium AGM/Spring Fertility Weekend will be April 29 & 30 in Hagerstown, MD. Current registration is $29.99, but will start increasing April 15. For this low fee, you get a grand weekend of hashing and refreshment, plus an evening of entertainment Saturday.
See http://www.dchashing.org/mvh3/agm2000.html for details.
DC Full mOOn Hash will be tonight, March 18, 7PM start is at PJ Skiddoo's on Rt. 29 (Lee Hwy.) in Fairfax.
Elections for MVH3 Mismanagement for the coming year will be held April 1. Current candidates are:
Joint Master: Hawaiian Puke and Latecummer
Religious Advisor: Dual Air Bags
On-Sec: Black Box
Scribes: Blazing Straddle and Pointless
"Volunteers" are still being recruited for the remaining offices. If we don't get volunteers, offices will be filled by hashers who have complained about this year's Trash:
1. Quick Drawers
St. Patti's Day gift from Black Box:
Black Box's Irish Cream
14 oz. sweetened condensed mile
2 eggs
1 tablespoon chocolate syrup
1 pint whipping cream
1 tablespoon honey
6 oz Canadian club
Wisk together and refrigerate.
Mismanagement:
Joint Masters - Jaret "Yes Dear" Seiberg & Dave "Wankers Aweigh" Bertagnoli
Religious Advisor - Rich "Hawaiian Puke" Walker
Scribe/Subscribe - Carolyn "Latecomer" Sutherland & Samone "Perk-A-Set" Johnson
On-Sec - Barbara "Milk Money" Bredehoft
Hash Cash - Craig "Pudknocker" Puz
Hare Raiser - Tom "Three Times A Lady" Jones
Haberdasher/co-haberdasher - Mike "Dr Jekyll" Boyle & Heidi "Cunning Runt" Gerken
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