If it aint live hare, it aint Mount Vernon.
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Run: # 666
Date: April 15, 2000
Hares: Three Times A Lady, Drops A Load, B'Cuz He Can
Location: Southside Reston
TWO MORE WEEKS! TWO MORE WEEKS!
Now that I have that out of my system, Saturday morning dawned with a rain too light to wash the flour from the trail, yet heavy enough to provide some excellent shiggy. Chief hare Three Times A Lady TWO MORE WEEKS had rounded up fellow Reston demons Drops A Load and B'Cuz He Can to set wet trail #666, appropriately enough on Tax Day, April 15. Failing to live up to my name, I arrived in time to see hares away at 10AM.
Milk Money TWO MORE WEEKS had set up the bank on a covered picnic table that also served as election headquarters for the Mount Vernon precinct. Joint Master Yes Dear TWO MORE WEEKS was overseeing the voting process for upcoming mismanagement. There were no candidates listed for Haberdasher, but current habs Cunning Runt and Dr. Jekyll TWO MORE WEEKS were not present to defend themselves and therefore expected to be unanimously re-elected.
Hashers began donning their rain gear as the clouds dropped lower. Captain Titanic was decked out in his lovely red cape with clashing pink pants. Feathers flew as Indecent Proposal broke out her best dry cleaning plastic that had previously been worn by a bird, either that or IP was moulting.
Other Joint Master Wankers Aweigh TWO MORE WEEKS tooted his whistle, indicating that the circle was about to commence. To help lead Father Abraham, Latin Analyst was ordered into the circle. LA is an employee of the World Bank, which the day before had been held hostage by a truckload of cow manure. (The World Bank retaliated by giving their employees a 3-day weekend.) With lyrics of "protest IMF and World Bank" still ringing in our ears, we started walking after the flour.
Thanks to check-backs and long BTs, we (I) DFLs saw a lot of the FRBs. The most entertaining part of the trail for me was near the end. A sizeable tree had fallen over the path, obstructing our view of a huge puddle of shoe-sucking mud. I was moving slowly enough to see the mud before climbing over the tree, but not so with Fag and No Genitals. I watched them hurdle the tree and heard them scream in surprise as they splattered mud over a great circumference. Ain't hashing great?
Wankers and Yes Dear began to set up the circle paraphernalia without any Bill Wagners present, so they opted to hold off until at least one was located. Also noting that others were missing, Three Times A Lady and B'Cuz He Can hopped in their car to autosweep. Before they could even start their engine, the Bills came dragging in; 3X proclaimed "Found 'em!", and circle was started.
First to drink were the hares, minus one Drops A Load, who was MIA. A down-down was set aside in anticipation of his eventual return, and circle proceeded.
Next were virgins: Just Chuck, a product of the missing Drops A Load, and Just Yoojin, brought to us by No Genitals. And there was one visitor, Currently Bi, from Ft. Walton H3.
At this point, the remainder of the missing hashers, Spread Sheets, Continental Drip, and Lick It Off, Baby completed the trail and a round of threesies, for which they drank. Now back to business.
There were a lot of anniversaries, but Yes Dear wouldn't give me the list of names, he stuck it in his pants and told me to come get it. So I'm just going to have to do this from memory. Pud Nocker had an anniversary, as did Mellow Foreskin Cheese, and probably Stained Sheetz and Poop Deck (they've been around awhile). There was one "5" anniversary, his name escapes me (Tom, perhaps?), but he's coming due for a name. I overheard him say he has six children; perhaps you can work that into a name, if not just be forewarned that he's really really fertile. His boys can swim. He ain't shootin' blanks.
Mercifully, there were no namings. But there were violations: The Hasher Formerly Known As - stepped on a poofter dog, then claimed he was just wiping his feet; Latin Analyst - for getting a 3-day weekend; KY Belly - his dog's butt was shaved (this scribe refuses to acknowledge Steamer's suggestion that the scribe drink for noticing); Fag - fraternizing with the locals; Capt Titanic - practicing chivalry without getting his feet wet; Screws Everybody - it's April 15!; Indecent Proposal - molting during Father Abe. That would have been it but Penis.com was engaged in phone sex, so he drank, too.
And now what you've all been waiting for, election results. It was a long, hard-fought campaign, but in the end the following hashers were subdued and will serve as next year's mismanagement:
Joint Masters: Me 'n Puke
Religious Advisor: Dual Air Bags
Hash Cash: Pointless
Hare Raiser: Hollow Point
On-Sec: Black Box
Scribes: Blazing Straddle and One Tit Only
Haberdashers: Blank Check, Big Bird Turd, Byte, Missing Link, See Dick Run, GBOF, Bite Me Elmo, Hands Solo, Pulls Out Early, Cyclops, French Toasted, Harddrive, Nurse Crotchet, Do Me Next Week
No hashit, no problem. Swing Low, On Out.
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Next Hash
AGM time again! AGM Weekend Schedule:
Hash Hotel: Motel 6 in Hagerstown, Md. 11321 Massey
Blvd (301-582-4445)
From the D.C. beltway:
take I-270 west
to I-70 west
to I-81 north
Take exit 5 for Valley Mill Mall
Pass mall and turn right for the hotel.
Schedule:
April 28 (Friday)
6:30 p.m. Happy Hour, leaves from hash hotel. Bar
Crawl will be marked with hares arrows so late
arrivers can catch up and drink. Not all drinking will be subsidized, so bring some cash.
April 29 (Saturday)
11 a.m. Registration opens at the hash hotel.
Registration room will be toward the back of the
hotel. Look for the beer.
1 p.m. Registration shifts to start of run, which is
in Williamsport, about a five minute drive on the
interstate. Get back to I-81. Head south. Take exit 1.
Go west toward Williamsport. (Do NOT cross the
Potomac. That would cause you to enter West Virginia
and marry your cousin.) In about a 1/2 mile you will
see a park on the left next to the giant water tower.
There is a baseball field and a parking lot. Park in
the parking lot.
1:30 Hares Away......
7 p.m. Banquet at Howard Johnson's hotel. This is
across the street from the Valley Mill mall, about a
five minute walk from the hash hotel. Please walk
rather than drive. Enjoy beer, food, music, dancing to DJ Late 'Get Off Your Ass And Dance' Cummer, games, lewd sex acts by Yes Dear and Bullwinkle, etc.
Sometime that night.....
Hang out by the keg until you fall asleep or we get
busted by motel management.
April 30 (Sunday)
9 a.m. Breakfast at hospitality room at hash hotel.
10 a.m. Hangover hash.
Noon check out and go home or spend rest of your money
For the latest MVH3 information, and links to all area hashes, visit Harddrive's web page: http://www.dchashing.org/mvh3
If you still don't have internet access, get updates on area hashes on the hotline: (202) PUDJAM0, take option 6 for MVH3.
Receding Hareline:
Hash 668 April 28th AGM
Hash 669 April 29th AGM
Hash 670 May 6th Whore Moans and Milk Money
Hash 671 May 13th Fussy B*tch
Hash 672 May 20th Mud Buns
Hash 673 May 28th Killer Bs
Announcements:
June 16 - 18 - Ft. Eustis H3 the oldest continuing hash in America 1500th
July 28 - 30 - White House H3 Band Camp
Mismanagement:
Joint Masters - Jaret "Yes Dear" Seiberg & Dave "Wankers Aweigh" Bertagnoli
Religious Advisor - Rich "Hawaiian Puke" Walker
Scribe/Subscribe - Carolyn "Latecomer" Sutherland & Samone "Perk-A-Set" Johnson
On-Sec - Barbara "Milk Money" Bredehoft
Hash Cash - Craig "Pudknocker" Puz
Hare Raiser - Tom "Three Times A Lady" Jones
Haberdasher/co-haberdasher - Mike "Dr Jekyll" Boyle & Heidi "Cunning Runt" Gerken
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