So off we went, on a hot, humid day (what a surprise – hashing in July in Virginia). I made the mistake of following Poop Deck who I thought would be doing some creative shortcutting but instead just led us through a lot of disgustingly gross mud puddles. Bramble Bush entertained the wankers by telling us what she had done the night before (drinking a lot of exotic drinks). We ran through a lot of interestingly distributed trash: couches, cars, beer cans (well of course, this IS PW county), clothes – it was a smorgesbord of redneck attractions.
At some point, we left the trash trail (including Leave It In Beaver conducting a fairly excessive environmental violation) and moved into the woods, and the first of many back checks. And this is where the true class of the trail became evident – the hares were marking back checks in ROMAN NUMERALS! Granted, none of the FRBs thought of marking the checks, but fortunately, Poop Deck was right in front of me and he quickly ascertained that aII meant back check two. We lowly hashers were impressed. It was only when nothing became obvious after going back two splooches that someone pointed out that we were, indeed, in Prince William County, and WHO in this place would even know what a Roman Numeral was???? Wiser heads prevailed and after counting out eleven splooches, we found True Trail.
Fortunately, I didn’t have to go all the way to the next back check, since III Xs A Lady finally showed up, and while trying to become an FRB, got to the marking before Poop Deck so he could interpret the back check in Arabic characters. AND, amazingly enough, even marked the check for the poor fools staggering behind. In the mean time, Fly the Friendly Thighs and Drive Thru were speeding through the woods. These people are way too good runners for hashers!
Suddenly, much to our delight, BEER NEAR was seen, and we ended up at a lovely hazardous waste dump where the hashers were quickly sucking down alcohol in hopes that it would allow the Prince William county environment to just roll off them.
The Circle was finally called together when people started getting nervous about sitting on abandoned asbestos heaps. Even though Dual Air Bags was a hair, uhhh, hare, she rose to the occasion as RA and tried to remember all the songs that go with each category:
Anniversaries: Poop Deck got a belated award for surviving 300
runs (do you think that the fact that he got a stick in the eye made him
think that II referred to the number two?). He got embroidered shorts.
Pretty damn exciting!
Other no-lifers were: Drive Thru – L, III Xs A Lady – CXXXV,
Dual Air Bags – CCXLV.
Virgins: Jason Leffler, Scott Heffner, Just Janet
Visitors: Chicken of the Sea
Returners: Grease Monkey, Dahmer, Drive Thru, Stool Sample, Gorilla in Our Midst, Cold Sweat, Lauren Br…, Michelle, Robinson, Wha-N-Goes
Namings: Gorilla in Our Midst got to keep his name for some reason (well, actually, it’s a pretty good name)
Violations: The violation portion of this event immediately got out of control when Byte Lightning, after being justifiably accused of exposing himself on trail (what WAS that long, skinny black thing squirming across the trail, anyway?), started a race riot. By the time we figured out who in the hash was black, who was white, and most importantly, who was SUPPOSED TO BE IN THE CIRCLE AND WHO WASN’T, well, those of us in MisManagement were a bit frazzled.
Other violations:
Dr. Jekyll – undressing in the mud
Yes Dear -- not marking the checks
Hawaiian Puke -- for being late and forcing Blazing Straddle to take
control
Battery Operated Buddy – ironing her stomach to avoid taking off her
shirt (now THAT’S amazing!)
Fly The Friendly Thighs – covering her hair in a convertible to look
nice for the hash
Captain Titanic – Building a wall of rocks to avoid walking through
the mud (wish I had been running near him!)
Blank Check – for something, can’t remember, but he deserved it
And finally,
POOP DECK, for thinking that a hasher from PW County knows Roman Numberals.
Hash Shit – Once again, Blazing Straddle was cruelly attacked. The Hash Shit had been forcibly taken from her by KY Belly and was now in San Diego, whimpering. Nevertheless, she was ridiculed and forced to drink. She has plans for revenge…
Whistle check was made, Swing Low warbled, and yet another hash ended without disaster. On on!
Blazing Straddle
*Do you know there are no zeros in Roman Numerals? Come to think of
it, them Arabs (that’s pronounced A-RAB) DID invent the zero, didn’t they?)
Next Hash
Date: July XXII, MM
Hares: –Late Comer, Latin Analist, French Toasted & Put It Out
Start: Mount Vernon Multiplex, 7940 Richmond Hwy
D-erections: from the SOUTH come up Route 1/ Richmond Hwy ... four
miles after you leave Fort Belvoir, The Multiplex is on the
left. Hashers assembling in the rear.
From the NORTH come south on Route 1/ Richmond Hwy (1st exit
the Vajenya side of Wilson Bridge). Multiplex is 4 miles on the right.
METRO on the yellow line to Huntington (end of the line). Put
out your thumb and hitch southbound on Rt 1 three miles.
MISCELLANEOUS: short, dry
For the latest MVH3 information, and links to all area hashes, visit Harddrive's web page: http://www.dchashing.org/mvh3. If you still don't have internet access, get updates on area hashes on the hotline: (202) PUDJAM0, take option 6 for MVH3.
Receding Hareline:
Hash 681 – Latin Analist et al.
Hash 682 – Steamer
Hash 683 -- Full Metal Balls, Missing Link, Slip Knot
Hash 684 – Bramble Bush & Physical Terrorist
Hash 685 – Big Bird Turd
Mismanagement:
This is a test: see if you can name all of them. Winner gets
to go home with Bad Dog.