Ok, kids, it's your Uncle Sucks here again. I was hoping it wouldn't
come to this, but it looks like we finally need to have THE talk. Yes,
the sex talk.
After four or five years of listening to you all complain about having
such a great time at the American Legion for the annual WH4 Holiday
Party, we finally submitted to your will. And we kind of liked it.
That's right, your MM is submissive. Which means you all are a bunch
How fortunate is it that this year's new holiday party location is an
S&M club? (Yes. They have a sex club here in DC.)
7:00 PM to 1:00 AM
Saturday 28 January 2006
1816 Half Street, SW
Details at http://dchashing.com/wh4/hol06/holidaypartyflyer.pdf
register online at
$40 until 12/16/05 ***personalized giveaway for early signup ONLY***
$45 until 1/27/05
$50 at the door
The party includes the usual beer, food, music, and a great giveaway:
engraved WH4 flasks. Register by 12/16 to personalize the flask. Plus,
as a free extra bonus, you get all the ambiance of a party in a sex
club (without the people having sex part).
Ok, now back to the sex talk. Sometimes when
- a man loves a woman
- a woman loves a woman
- a man loves a man
- a woman loves three women, a man, and a water buffalo
they love each other so much that they want to express that by tying
each other up, wearing leather, and whipping each other with
industrial and household objects. This party is at the place where
they do that.
I realize you might have some questions about all this. Your Uncle
Sucks will do his best to answer them.
Q: Is the party really at a sex club? That's disgusting! The place
will be full of weirdos and freaks.
A: Yes, the party really is at a sex club. You can tell by the
pictures, whips, gimps, and other things hanging on the walls.
However, the party will be closed to the public and other club
members. The only weirdos and freaks there will be the ones you
already hang out with.
Q: Isn't the club in a sketchy neighborhood?
A: Yes and no. The neighborhood of the club itself is an industrial
area near the power plant and Ft. McNair. No one hangs around that
area. Club members regularly drive and park their cars there with no
problems. However, the neighborhoods you'd pass through while walking
from metro are not so nice or well lit. You can safely drive your car
there and park. However, we'd like to remind you that drinking and
driving is not safe. So we'd ask that you either leave your car there
and cab home. Or cab there and home. Or take the buses that MM has
arranged for you.
Q: MM has arranged buses to the holiday party!? Fantastic! How do I
A: We have arranged for two buses to run continuously between The
Bottom Line at 1716 I St. NW (convenient to Red/Orange/Blue metro
lines) and the party venue. Buses will begin running from the bar at
6:45. The shuttle is free to you. Your drinks at the bar are not. Get
there early, buy yourself a couple beers, ride the bus to the party.
Buses will run from the party back to The Bottom Line until 1am.
Q: So it's a sex party?
A: No. It's just a party using a sex club as the venue. God knows we
don't want to see most of you naked... and we certainly don't want to
see you performing illicit acts en masse.
Q: What do I wear?
A: It's a sex club. Wear whatever you want. We'll consider ourselves
lucky if you'll be wearing anything at all.
Q: Buses, a sex club, SW DC... What a pain in the butt. Why are you
A: We're doing this because we've had a lot of requests for a change
of venue and we don't have that many options available at a reasonable
price. Anyway, it's actually kind of a cool place with A LOT of
character. Broaden your horizons. You'll have fun. We like it because
we don't have to bother decorating. And next year you'll appreciate
the American Legion that much more. If you have serious concerns and
think you can do a better job of finding a venue, there is still time
to join MM for next year. Email firstname.lastname@example.org.