Warning: Do not use Re-Hash as a projectile. Sudden acceleration to dangerous speeds may cause injury. If you must drink and drive, wear a condom.

The promise that hash #751 was absolutely positively the last hash under the Y2K Mismanagement and this group would never band together again brought a crowd to Vienna. The large array of hares was composed of outgoing mismanagement + mismanagement-wannabe Hops. The future mismanagement was taking advantage of their last opportunity to work the pre-hash crowd for a year, next week will be week #1 in their reign. Yes, don't look for Watergate or Fag to circulate pre-hash, they'll be busy signing you in and taking your cash.

After a stellar version of Father Abraham, the large group of hares gathered in the circle, creating a strong majority, and ceded Florida to Rumson.

I rode along in Shitty Shitty Bang Bang with Brew Crew Big Bird Turd and Butt Plug. That is one ugly van, and it doesn't smell too good, either. But it does perform the service upon which we have all come to depend: haul our beer. Here's a little SSBB trivia - the once lustrous upholstery was stripped from the cargo area after about the second warm spring Sunday following a winter of spillage. The result left the interior somewhat lacking in the esthetics department, but lowered the reading on the stink-o-meter, making SSBB somewhat equivalent to a typical hasher.

As you the pack were heading into the woods, we were pulling into Starbucks for a steaming latte. o wondrous steaming elixir! What would be the benefit of elixir without a side of cinnamon scones? We almost saw them again a little later when BBT hit a speed bump at about 40-MPH. SSBB was airborne briefly and landed with minimum internal injuries or damage to the undercarriage, although the spray of sparks was quite the spectacle. There was a great clatter in the back as the tools of the trade - and the kegs - bounced off the ceiling before settling back to their original neighborhoods more or less.

I felt kind of like Scooby Doo tagging along with Shaggy and Velma to solve a mystery.

As you the pack were slogging through the first creek, we were ploughing into Perk-A-Set's driveway to set up for the second beverage stop. PAS had wisely left her snow shovel in a highly visible location, and the Brew Crew set to work. Butt Plug tried the old Tom Sawyer trick by holding forth on the great pleasures one gains by shoveling snow as she quickly cleared the driveway, but it didn't work on us, we were busy sampling Hops' home brew (November was a very good year).

On Ons were audible for several minutes before the first hashers appeared. The walkers were first, led by Never Saw Him Cumming, Keil Bastard, Microsoft, and Titanic. Then came the walkers who went way out of their way to avoid getting their shoes wet in the creek. Finally, the runners, creating the usual fog bank around the beer van. Last to arrive were Ass Finder and Just Matt who lost time when they removed their shoes for the creek crossing, so only their socks froze.

The usual he-men in shorts - Put It Out, And How's Her Bush, #2, and Test Tube Baby - were looking manly in their blue legs and, in the case of AHHB & TTB, blue striped with red boo-boos.

After much complaining by the pack and bragging by the hares, Missed Erections, NecroFeelMyAss, Just Alain, and diving pair Blonde Roots and Blowing In The Wind led the runners out of Perk-A-Set's neighborhood, much to the relief of her new neighbors. And

SSBB drove slowly away, garbage bag tied to the rear door handle. We hit the same speed bump going back.

The end was in a snow-covered parking lot, on a hill no less. Butt Plug and I bailed out at the first opportunity and sought shelter as BBT spun and slid all around the lot before coming to a rest along the edge, allowing just enough room for the beer to be dispensed with ease.

First to arrive were Spinal Tap and Hasher Humper munching out on products of Taco Bell. Soon stand-by hashers Beer Slut and The Pimp of Sarajevo joined us in dry non-hashing gear with some lame excuses of airport shuttles and 102F fevers. Watergate and I stole a bag of cheese poofs and locked ourselves in my car where the heat was cranked to 'tropic' setting to observe the return of the rest of the pack.

With unbridled delight, Perk-A-Set called the hashers to circle for the final time. Hares Perk-A-Set, Spinal Tap, Hasher Humper, Fag, Ivy Licker, WhereDaFuKhawe, and Hops selected their beverages of choice, and the remaining hashers serenaded them in a fitting manner.

Melissa - Battery Operated Buddy - something something Cums

Mandy - Slow F*cker - Cums something-or-other

Just Matt - MVH3; Never Gonna Get One - MVH3; Ass Finder - LAH3 (technically a visitor, but he just moved here and we should see a lot more of him); Slow F*cker - Little Rock H3; Blow Job - Frankfurt H3.

Bad Bush - 50

Body Heat, Rocky Whore, Cream In The Middle, Dick Is Fine

Violations included, but are not limited to: Beats My Meat -blow job-ready jacket zips up from the bottom; Hops - Mismanagement wannabe; Mitey Tite - media slut; Snatch Shot - has new movie but didn't give us a preview; Bite Me Elmo - snow devils; Never Saw Him Cumming - yellow snow; Put It Out - no-show hare; And How's Her Bush - blood donation.

In a rare oversight, neither cheeseheads nor GMs had to drink, for which Perk-A-Set got the hashit. That did, however, leave plenty of beer for the rest of us for once.

At some point in the circle FLAB, Snatch Shot, NoMo, Sextra Credit, and virgin Just Chuck decided to rejoin the festivities after a chilly session of sex on trail. Did somebody say shrinkage?

There was a special occasion to name Just Alain and Just Dana, but Y2K mismanagement deferred the naming to 2001 mismanagement.

Swing Low rang out for the last time for Y2K mismanagement, and we were dismissed for the Apres before the sun set.

Spinal Tap and I extend a big hashing thanks to literary geniuses Gurly Mon, Put It Out, Duck Job, Ivy Licker, No Genitals, and Bite Me Elmo for filling in as scribes during the past year, and to Just Gilbert from the printing center. I would also like to thank my employer for not firing me when a more colorful edition of the Re-Hash somehow ended up jamming the office copier.