020202 Holiday Party
and
AHA Awards

Welcome Hares and Hariettes to the 020202 mis-accounting of the Annual Hash Awards (AHA) where the
prestigious and sometimes legatious Golden Bunny accentuates the special, the unique, and the most bodacious
events of the previous year’s Sh*tty Trails.  Many Hash to play and before we (your mis-humbled co-scribes)
address the golden best of the play bunnies, we invite you to join us for a brief walk back in time, to reminisce
about what our half-minds may have missed in favor of…BEER.

Set at the grand American Legion Post #139, the chick-e 2001 Mis-Management opened the doors to their
fellow Hashers and the dick-e 2002  MM with a 30-step flourless, chalkless trail.   First to grace the flourless,
chalkless linoleum walkway in Hash Formal that would leave Joan and Melissa Rivers speechless were the early
cummers of Magoo, Tore Ass, Fire-n-Ice, Standard Deviant, Wanks With Wolves, Poop Deck, Screws
Everybody, ChappaQuickDick, Ukhugh, and S’Not straight from an exclusive pre-023 get-together.  Next along
the trail were the hares, saluting the return to the top of MM, the ‘dicks’!  Hare fashion setters included FAG whose
pink wings, green coat and white pants stretched the imagination (your scribes never knew that ‘pink’ was a Hare
color – FAG why did you change when the lights came-up? Inquiring mis-minds want to know!).  Other fashion
plates included those decked in ½ tux like RAS; the spiffy military braids of the cannon-cocker artillery red duds
sported by Number 2.  Trouser Snake brought period appeal to the fashion trail-way with a circa 1575 Robin
Hood formal complete with odiferous pine tree tones.  Not to be forgotten by har-signers was the large (really large)
sequined bow tie sported by Roto; the kilt and kool shades favored by Golden Showers and his merry skirted
aides – RoseBud, and Hawaiian Puke; or the sex-textures of WOWO (and you all wondered why Sex For Dummies
prophesizes about keeping your date AWAY from WOWO – he is the master of *extures); or the cingular impact
of the golden cumber-buns Semen-on-the-Pew sacheted for the harriettes of Asian persuasion.  For the Hares that
prefer a look that has stood the test of time, it would be hard to look past Harddrive’s Italian (Stallion) 4-button suit.
Then there was Microsoft who ducked Elvis for the Perfect Tux (the har’nswer to the harriettes little black dress) and
MIC-Och Shoots Blanks with the Euro-Bruce-Willis-I-Have-No-Sleeves-On-My-“T”, and Mr Softie with the GQ-Hash
turtleneck and pocket kerchief.   There were a few harriettes who successfully elevated Hash Formal to new fashion
trends.  Many appreciated Free Refills ‘Shakespeare in Love’ frock, Designer Bush’s falling onto velvet, and Oregon
Grinder’s tiara and lovely lavender boa.  One Tit Only favored the minimalist approach to keeping textiles as small as
possible (and for those of you dying to know her secret – its staying as hot, hot as possible…with the laundry water –
what were you thinking?).  Competing with One Tit Only for the best dressed on chalkless trail was Howdy Fuckin’ Do
Me’s material girl look complete with Ground Chuck as paparazzi, and Put It Out’s my favorite Martian imitation
(thankfully this fashion trend had a short half-life).  Based upon Hash duds alone, the flamboyant hares punctuated
the theme chant “Chicks are out, Dicks are in!”

However, if your curiosity about the definition of Hash Formal didn’t lure you to the 023 party of the year then perhaps
it was the 2001 MM’s bribes of beer-2 kinds (no there was no vote on the next M&M color…we do beer not chocolate),
receive a really kewl case for hash-stuff  (side note: these cases proclaim to be waterproof, does this mean MORE water
on trail during the cumming year?  Couldn’t we just have Summer’s Eve hash shirtless like OJ Simpson.  Wouldn’t
keeping the Harriettes wet count…??)  Heavy whore-dervers, mis-mistletoe (again, one needs to note that it was WOWO
who seemed to ‘get-it’ best when it came to capitalizing on the advantages of mis-mistletoe), blackmail photo-swaps
(yes your friendly co-scribe TWIG did mug AndHowsHerBush for the Red Dress Run rear cheek shots he was packing
before they hit the table).  Road Whore and Snatch Shot exercised mafia-esque leverage with their year in review slide
show pictorial – ‘Look at who slept with whom on trail last year…’  Although PIO prefers to exercise fashion mis-sense,
he did arrange for the Bible Camp Friday Nite Band – LOADED to entertain, as they are the bandmeister of choice for
WH4. (Special Thanks to Just Cathy Broadwell -Lead Vocalist-last hashed in 2000; Rim Rivera-guitar & vocals-next
Virgin we just need someone to make him cum; Just Matt Sadler-drums & percussion-last hashed at Bible Camp; and
our very own Summer’s Eve-bass guitar-a regular cummer)
2001 MM pulled together the 020202 AHA and you came – (factoid: 200+ cum within 300 minutes).  You came, you
drank beer, you got loaded, you ushered in your new mis-management, you drank more beer, you flirted with people that
looked increasingly attractive as the evening progressed, you drank beer, you witnessed the awarding of the AHA prestigious
(almost elusive) golden bunny awards – complete with floor show.
Doing a bang-up job (trust us – they were two pairs of bodacious B A - N G breasts) as AHA hostesses were the outgoing
GrandMasters-$50 Bitch and Raise My Titanic. They presided over Golden Bunny winners in the following categories:

Hash Adventure Of The Year – Vacation Bible Camp was a big winner and swept the categories of:
Best Trail - #779   (Morning Tubing)
Most Scenic Trail - #780  (Midnight Madness)
Best Theme Hash of the Year AND Longest Trail - #778  (Sunset Welcome)

Best On-On - #800   (Remingtons Capitol Hill)
Most Shitty Trail - #761 (14 Tunnels of Mud)
Wettest Trail - #777  Naming of Summer’s Eve at ‘Prepare Ye 4 Beer’)
Most Interesting Trail - #808  (Market Har-lots)
Shortest Trail - #793  (RDR Recovery)
Rookie of the Year – Twatsssuuuppp
Most Represents a Hasher – Number 2
Cutest Hash Couple – FAG and PIO
Most Entertaining Hash House Hook-ups – too many favorites for a clear winner
How to F*cking Set a F*cking Trail Most Likely To Resemble EWH3 - #784    (Ole School Ghetto Hash – Virgin Avec Mary, Sucks It Blue, Beer Slut, & Mothers Lay )
Most Hared & Most Hashed – FAG (note: FAG needs help finding a life outside a burrow, since he has hared 7 trails as well as completed 50 hash trails during 2001)
Hasher Most Likely to Get Arrested – Ass Finder

The AHA Floor Show made us all glad that LOADED was the paid entertainment.  True, the Sugar Plum introduction to THE jeopardy question that validated audience inebriation by 10:30pm  – creature inhabiting a deep, dark, damp hole – was a very nice touch.  (BTW the creature was the Groundhog.)  And thinking of hanging out in a dark, damp place (besides any trail hared by WOWO, PIO, or CRAFTY) … there was the cold, sometimes dark, damp place of Antartica (Spinal Tap’s INTERHASH 2004 nomination!!)…and the salute to Madonna’s damp spot… regardless of how it was packaged over the years.  (Side Note:  Do ask Holy Tit if the Gautier Bra truly does compensate for penis envy…he has gone both ways now.)  This 020202 holiday bash broke all records – the beer never ended, the eats platters were never empty, and happy feet ruled the floor.  In fact, of the 201 (hare-estimate) on this chalkless trail, the only unanswered question of the evening was the discovery of the identity of the hare that went home with two harriettes!

Outgoing MM 2001 – thanks for a great year! Incuming MM 2002 – we know you will all do great carrying on the traditions of our fore-hares (…and making up new traditions when having a half-mind moment).

Hares and Harriettes of WH4

You all are marvelous…
simply marvelous!
See you on trail!!!