Hangovers manifest themselves in a myriad of ways. CAPT Titanic sported a yellow ’kick-me’ sign that had the di-erections to the 020202 Bash-which he missed because he was still wearing the sign when the circle formed.  Raise My Titanic missed her audition with Oil of NoLay’s you-know-what remover and continued to flash everyone with yesterday’s face as the new MM discovered a ‘circle’ has no sharp edges.  A staggering rendition of Father Abraham was delivered by CAPT Titanic, Bad Dog, and Big Bird Turd – the only ones present who weren’t recovering hangoverees (such party animals – NOT!)  Cold, cup impaired, and spilling liquid pre-maturely, WOWO threaten to mug Hasher Humper for her Tiger Slippers as the hashers hit trail.  Let’s amend this descriptive…setting out on trail was like watching the start of the race between a tortoise and a tortoise…I think the lady with the walker BigDickNoBrains courted at the Jan 27th beer check moved faster than this lot.  This trail moved so fast that Big Bird Turd was the FRB!  It even had shiggy on-demand.  The shaggy was so thick, Spinal Tap went down in it.  Ten minutes and three checks onto trail required the pack to back check 13…placing the trail smack dab in the middle of Hasher Humper’s kitchen.

Note to 2002 MM:  Need to add category to next year’s AHA awards…Best Food on Trail!!

Hasher Humper and Spinal Tap laid a spread worthy of the royal hangovers present.  Cum Scout wanting to be kind and helpful, proclaimed that the best way to pamper a hangover is to wean it off its alcohol very, very slowly.  Take more than a hare-day if necessary.  All the fixing to maintain, care and feed the highness hangovers was thoughtfully provided by the Hares.  Yup- definitely time to start the write-in ballot campaign for Hasher Humper & Spinal Tap – Best Food On Trail Award.

Nursing a steady buzz, vice a throbbing buzz, the royal hangovers gathered together for our new RA’s in-nag-girl-al circle (and you thought chicks were out).  Fussy Bitch displayed major Fussy-i-ness by opting for Tasmania Interhash Nudie Videos instead of circle participation.  You know there seemed to be a lot of Watergate in those videos….hhhmmm.  Road Whore also needed extra assistance with his focus.  Yes he was busy cultivating some pussy on the shoulder… but it was cardboard pussy!  As the circle closed with a soulful ‘endition of Swing Low, one could not help but notice that Road Whore, now pussy-less, has finally mastered the ‘cumming’ movement.  One can only wonder about which Swing Low motion he will master next.

Visiting from MHV3 was Just Manny.  Just Manny was suffering from a super identity problem having just retired from the USMC after 8 years.  ‘Imagine the half-mind…8 years wearing no-see-me camouflage duds… covering-up what makes him feel gay, feel pretty…its being Clark Kent-esque in camouflage super-man T-shirt.’  And you thought beer withdrawals were painful!

Long Time No Seers included Bad Dog, Fussy Bitch, Oil of NoLay, and Ivy Licker.

ANALversaries:
Trouser Snake – 169 trails
Hasher Humper – 400 trails.

Violations:
Put It Out – no fashion sense.  If you weren’t visually hurting as a result of your hangover, PIO’s pants and pants did make you hurt.  Bad Dog & Big Bird Turd, CAPT Titanic for showing up at a hangover recovery run without having anything to recover from.  Trouser Snake and CAPT Titantic for R*cing.  OJ Simpson for doing trail with no shirt.  Thankfully there was no enforcement of the No Shirt-No Alcohol-No Food mis-policy.  RAS, Mellow Cheese Foreskin, Oil of NoLay, and Fussy Bitch for auto-hashing; RAS (again) for sex with the turkey carcass (poor ole harrier, guess it has been longer than we all expected…) Hey Ho for missing #813 trail duties.  New MM for failure to find new Hash Shit.

Hash Shit:
Raise My Titanic as the new Tally Ho, first day on the job and she forgets the checkbook.   Runner-up was Just Manny for his Superman fetish.
 
 

Upcoming Hash Events for Road Warriors:

16-17 February 2002:  United States of America Heart On Hash. Dorchester, Iowa. Hosted by Cedar Falls H3 and Dorkfester Holiday H3. Theme: Valentines Day. Contact Jack “Sheila” Scheeler, +1-563/497-3615, sheiladk4@msn.com; “EEEK EEEK”, +1-563/497-3615, cmscheeler@msn.com.
17 February 2002:  United Arab Emirates Desert3 #1200. Dubai. Hosted by Desert H3. Contact T “Cock of the North” Redshaw, tredshaw@emirates.net.ae; Helen “Corky” Tomlinson, helenmt@emirates.net.ae.
Weekly Column Announcement:
Dear Hasher, are you lost on trail? Up to your neck in swampwater and shiggy? Can’t find your way back to the check? Looking for a sign to point you in the right direction? Straining your ears for the distant notes of the hash horn? Praying for true trail and dying for a beer? Well, cheer up, dear Hasher, On-Ins are right around the corner - just ask ‘Hare Splits’ via your co-scribes to show you the way!
Dear Hare Splits,
What is the etymology of the word “Shiggy”?
On On - Lost In The Wilderness
Dear Wilderness,
Shiggy is a combination of two Middle English words: “shite,” or shit; and frigg,” or fuck. Thus, shiggy is a combined term literally meaning “fucking shit”; hashers, however, use it to describe vegetation, swamps, or other natural features that impede progress on trail. According to the Oxford English Dictionary, the word was first  recorded in the Royal Box at Wimbledon during the tennis finals of 1957, when Queen Elizabeth II whispered to her husband, Prince Philip, “I’m a bit randy - let’s nip into the shiggy and have one off.”
On On - Hare Splits
WH4,  Edition 020302-A ,Hash Trash         “All the Shit that Fits” (202) PUD-JAM0 and (202) 232-HASH WWW.DCHASHING.ORG/WH4