Hey Ho: Welcome folks to live coverage of run #816 for WH4. I’m Hey Ho, and I’ll be your anchor for today’s event. TWIG is harrassing Red Dress Hash-idashers at Pensacola this weekend.  With the Hares we have today, I’m sure we can expect a truly shitty trail. Well, I see that they’re away, and $50 Bitch has the opening circle going. Let’s join her live for her opening remarks.
$50: “…and I’m going to (edited per FCC guidelines) with a dirty knife if the hares make this trail to long (pause for applause).  On-On thataway.”
HH: Well it sounds as if $50 has full control of the pack. Let’s get our first report from trail from Evil Jesus. EJ?
EJ: “I’m only ¼ mile into trail and at the moment we are heading downhill. That’s right! I said downhill. At the moment, many believe we are all ready off trail.”
HH: Hmmm…Joining me in studio is one of the hares; Holy Tit! HT; downhill?
HT: (begins to chuckle evilly while putting his hand between his legs)
HH:  All right then. Let’s go to one of our GM’s, WOWO -- How’s trail going?
WOWO:  “Well, things are getting interesting. We are heading up a very steep hill in the middle of the woods and it’s covered in leaves, so you can’t get tract…wait a sec…Burning Bush has fallen! Oh my! And the scores are Judge CumScout – 5.9, Judge Two Lips in the Bush – 5.8, and the judge French has given her a 5.2!!! The fix must be in because how can you give anyone who goes down-down a 5.2??”
 

HH:  Indeed. I’m now told that we have breaking news from the walkers trail. More Than a Mouthful?
MTM:” Well it took us ten minutes to get to the beer check. SSBB isn’t even here yet.  This trail blows goats.”
HH: Okay, let us know when it gets there, we could all use a cold one right about now. Since we are in the Cleveland Park area, Let’s check in with a hasher who lives here, Tip Her Whip Her.
Tipper: “I’m at home! Wow! The Trail goes right through my back yard! How did I miss that?”
HH: Thanks for that in depth report. Now, more breaking news from the walkers trail.

Road Whore: “Well, we have been here forty-five minutes and the runners are just starting to arrive at the beer check. Wait a minute. The walkers are on-on. I guess I don’t get to see any sweat drenched harriettes today.”
HH : That is too bad. And now with a report from the check is Test Tube Baby. What’s going on?
 
TTB:  “I’m drinking beer to drown my sorrows at the moment. It seems that Just Dan has been named today’s beer bitch and every hariette here is dripping with anticipation of getting into his…beer supply.”
HH: Every hare feel’s you pain, so don’t feel alone.  Well, it looks like the pack is back on trail and it looks like they’re running though the zoo. Vominatrix, what can you tell us?
Vom: “Well, right now I’m running next to the camel pen. The camel I can see is very tall, it’s hairy, it’s got two humps, a long tail, and a long…I’ll have to get back to you!”
HH: Okay. Let’s go to How’d He Fuckin’ Do Me who is also in the zoo.
How’de: “ I’m on the walker’s trail now.”
HH: Why?
How’de:  “I know that the entire zoo is a hill, and this shitty trail has had too many of them. Besides, the chimp house is closed and I can’t go watch them to get tips on my technique…. On second thought , I’m just tired.”
HH:  Thank you. It now seems that beer is near and all that is left to do is do down-down’s, get busted by the cops, go to on-on-on and drink more beer and hope that the hasher who’s butt you’ve been staring at all day falls for your pitiful attempts at lewd advances. This is Hey Ho saying oN-iN!!

Circle-Antics

VISITORS
Barf – Holy Land Hash, Tel Aviv, Israel
Strap Dix-on – Los Angeles
Dipper Sipper – Hog town, Canada
Humper – Brighton, UK
Forth Skin – Phoenix

LONG TIME NO SEERS
There were so freakin many of them that I couldn’t write them all down and WOWO gave up trying to read all the names but I got Master Piece, Worldwide, Jimi Hendrix, and Just Cristina too name a few.

VIRGINS:
 
Just  Kate – “Dive My Muff ?” (Organ Grinder made her cum); Just Mia “Muppet Boobies” (Organ Grinder made her cum too…way to work overtime!!); Just Ann “Were gonna have a good time” (Bend Over Rover made her cum)

ANAL-VERSARIES
Master Piece – 25 Runs

VIOLATIONS:
Holy Tit! for saying his goal for this trail was to piss off the entire WH4 mis-management and succeeding
Milk Me for pre-scouting the trail and using the lame excuse that she saw it on the way to the hash
Jimi Hendrix for tech on trail (using a cell phone to check scores)
$50 Bitch for shortcutting and JackoffLantern for doing the same and getting lost.
Tip Her Whip Her for not realizing before the hash that the trail went through her backyard
Burning Bush for whining that the walkers left beer check before the runners arrived
Diaper for making fun of the RA and giving up beer for lent, so she couldn’t make him do a down-down
Vominatrix and Shellacking The Bishop for racing a 50k or something crazy like that

A MOST SOLEMN OCCASION!!!
Our most wise RA decided that Just Judy was desperately in need of a name.
 
Many suggestions referred to her job as a nurse such as Head Nurse, Drinks Lots of Fluids,  and Prick Me. Others thought her love of skiing would be appropriate and suggested Plant My Pole and Down Hill From Here.

Yet others thought that the expression on her face said it all and suggested Scared Shitless.
Finally, the circle decided to stick with a skiing reference and she will now forever be known as Peekaboo Street Walker.

Hashit
The incumbent Big Bird Turd was renominated since he was accused of not cleaning up his trail marks from a hash he hared. This got Vominatrix nominated for forgetting that this is a hash and we never clean up trail. RAS was called for doing a British accent …poorly.  Finally though, it was decided that Diaper deserved hashit honors for being able to get the hashit plunger to stick to the top of his head.

Up-cuming Events:
Beer Madness – March 24
Is Budweiser really the King of Beers? Is Corona really as good as most think? Can Zima pull off the upset (they still make that?) The only way to know is to come to Beer Madness. Exotic Beers, T-shirts, and all at the low price of $3 (a $3 dollar hash! How can you not come!) Stay tuned for more details!

Hare-Splits

Dear Hare-Splits,

How can I get Hash Flash to Flash me?

Red-Eye

Dear Red-Eye:

First of all, adopt the following ‘getting to know me’ technique:

Notice emotional expression on Road Whore’s face?  Need I say more?

ON-ON!!
Hare-Splits

Next Hash!!

WH4 Hash: #818
Nerd Date: Mar 10, 2002
HARES:  Dumb ‘n’ Dumber, Evil Jesus, Jesus’ Bitch
START:  A metro station in Mary-Land
DETAILS:  Not available at press time.  Please see the upcoming edition of the Hairline, or call  PUD-JAM0, or check the web site sum-time in the middle of next week.

Kewl Stuff Just 4-U:

Looking for your very own collection of photos from trails and special hash events?  Hash Flash…for a limited time…will cut for you, your very own CD Photo Album for only $3.  That’s right…$3 for 5 months of uncut, uncensored hashing!  Interested…submit your orders to our Hash Flash - Road Whore.  Can’t find him?  Then ask your mis-management for assistance.  (BTW:  Road Whore is the ‘hugger’ in the  very last snatch shot in this week edition of the trash!!

Need a really bitchin way to display/carry/not get separated from the most important item of your hash gear…the beer mug?  Then you need to order from IvyLicker, our darlin’ rugby kick-ass, give no quarter haberdasher a personalized (with your name!!) mug lanyard.  Special price---$8.

Special Sites for Hashers:
 

WH4 Photos:

Photos by Road Whore…see more Feb 24th  Trail snatch shots @ http://photos.yahoo.com/rd_whore
 

Journey to INTERHASH 2002 in beautiful GOA, INDIA plus Hong Kong – the city of lights; Jaipur – the pink capital of Rajasthan; Kathmandu – the capital of Nepal; and a special tour of the Taj Mahal.  Limited to 40 hashers who want to party round the world for 17 days for the special price of $3,290.  Includes almost everything.  For more information contact Interloper (Kathy Loper) at 619-298-7400 or www.kathyloperevents.com.
 

WH4 Edition 022402,
Hash Trash,
“All The Shit That Fits”
(202) PUD-JAM0 and (202) 232-HASH
www.dchashing.org/wh4