White House Hash House Harriers           Hash Trash for March 3, 2002              “Ancient Hash”

WERTILKJHF

DSAZXCBNM6'

[etyi]`

 

WH4 Hash: #817                                                    Start:  Kingstowne Center                                       Hares: Pay Per View, Gaping Ho, Harddrive                                               Brew Crew: Cum Scout, Summer’s Eve                    Beer Bitch:  Just Karla

 

 

Meaningless Preamble:

“Staple foods of the poor, the rich, the gods, and the hash, bread and BEER played such a fundamental role that in Pay Per View times the word BEER became an occasional phrase used like our ‘hello.’  Preserved vessels with BEER residue have been found at pre-hash sites.  Ancient Tally Ho’s recorded the measures of grain brought to pre-Shitty’s door.  Brew crews worked into a mash the grains, which then left to ferment, became the drink that neither the living hasher nor the dead could do without.  In tribute to what it might have been like to be an ancient hasher, our sadistic hares ran trail along the fence of history.  No Hash Flash, just hash-o-gli-fixs shall adorn this piece of trash.”

 


Getting to the Time Portal. Blistery March winds threatened to blow Tip Her Whip Her away on wings of $1s and $10s. Fuck’em Dano struggled to keep the greenbacks in place as the last of the hashers signed into the time portal.  Semen On The Pew closed the hash portal by cum-ing in a cab (instead of the usual Asian Travel Van complete with comfort Harriettes).  BTW: this attempt at a stealthy entry was noted by private investigator Target Practice.  

Travel Pre-Requisites (Cold cleansing) Missed Erections and Just Susan threatened to mug the hares for failure to pre-pubic-size the chilling purification pre-requisites for the ancient trail visitation rights.  The Lovely Demure RA - $50 Bitch knew the hashers were ready for trail-travel when many threatened to join CAPT Titanic, Penguin, Baltimore, Mellow Cheese Foreskin, and Magoo at the next Victoria Falls H4 trail.  VFH4 founded by the Penguin ran its inaugural trail in 169 B.H. [Before Hash] and hasn’t run a trail since then.                                                                                Trail Travel  With minimal prodding from the RA, the hash was off!! Dodging the brighter colors of his personal apparel, FAG dressed in ancient earth and dust tones.  The subdued look was so convincing that fellow hashers moved through, over, and around him without recognition. 

Idol Worship I  RAS eager to contribute something ancient demonstrated the humble 4-point position at the unexpected appearance of a prayer root.

Idol Worship II  It is absolutely dis-gusting that Hasher Humper is blatently lobbying for best food on trail award at the next when-ever AHA Awards.  But now we got hashers challenging FAG & PIO for Hash Couple honors.  Take for instance Takes a Lickin and Un-Pussable.  They were so lovely-dovey they didn’t even notice trail start or end.  Holding hands continuously … oh please have…the s*x (she’ll still keep on ticking, ‘xcuse me licking) and start running!!!  BTW:  I heard that comment about Clinton s*x – see RAS for pointers since he had recent experience with a turkey on this matter.

Blood Letting (An Unexpected Give-Away)

Leave It In Beaver, Two Lips In the Bush, and And How’s Her Bush blazed through shiggy leaving a trail of blood to stabilize the flour.  Hare intent was for a bit of blood letting to purge FRBs of their running affliction.  The resultant effect was to create FRBs among the unlikely…Trouser Snake (your line “I’m a walker”…NOT!!)  Dairy Queen and Fourth Skin found new meaning in blood letting…the red dilly bar!  Last through the Blood Fields was Just Karla.  For the record her tank top was white not red when she started her Ancient Hash journey.

Fluid Replacement The holey ground (did you not see Ms Levey’s bones?) of the Beer check provided peace, serenity and plenty of fluid replacement activities for both man, beast, and Mother Earth (Ducky!).  SSBB sacrifices were made by Cum Scout and Summer’s Eve so that $50 Bitch could empower Just Karla as Ancient Beer Wench.

Attempted Pet-i-cide! Japeddo, the 4-yr old ferrous-based, ‘I need no food, no water, just attention’ companion of Prison Prom Queen was severely injured by hashers reaching for beer at the beer check.  A constant friend to PPQ ever since his room-mates banned cats and dogs.  At the Brew Crew request, PPQ demonstrated the type of restraint that Asshopper might want to make note of if one wants to stay free and clear of rooms with vertical bars (on vertical is okay, as well as horizontal).

Wine Technique for ???  Well Drilled (a mulled wine connoisseur) charged off trail into the muck and mire to demonstrate how various healthful adaptations of the foot stomp’ in grape crushing technique of yesteryear.  Substituting mud and straw for grapes, the pack made bricks. Microsoft took the technique one step further and showed all who still had their balance that the bricks naturally adhered to shoes making convenient organic leg weights…so cool for toning the backside!!

Beer Pyramid Bundling Board…you know him perhaps as the guy who abducted White Betty at the Xmas party…uncovered a headless vixen reminiscent of Betty.  Overwrought with guilt, for having been caught in the act with he pledged atonement via a beer pyramid. BTW: BB was last seen still pondering the futility of building a pyramid with down-down beer vessels…in U…on U…not around U.

Exiting the Time Portal  On an abnormal day, the hash would have bitched and moaned about how shitty the trail was.  Like the hares actually put some effort into this ancient journey. It was cold, and windy, and if you hadn’t brought a change of shoe you were toast.  All of this wanking would have been a crankin ‘cept Summer’s Eve was SongMeister.  SE has a heat effect on Harriettes.  Harriers cozy up to the Harriettes and then everybody is happy. (Yes we did notice it was the Harriettes doing the holding!!)

oNoNoN: Fuck ‘Em Dano orders a YuengLing and then follows a trail of sticky notes thru his wallet to find money…hello…the yellow brick road leads most folks to OZ.  What’s up you got some kind of special thing going on the Witches…or are you directionally impaired when it comes to finding the faces of presidents on 6-1/8th” x 2-9/16th” green paper?

demaheIfio

 

 


Circle-Antics!

Virgins:

Just Robin Gulick “Fag Hag”, Fag made her cum! d Just Christie Webber “Gotta Quarter”, Coin Operated made her cum!  a Just Randy “Iron Dick” &  Just Candy Calvert “What a Menage-a-Tois that is” WorldWide made them cum! f Just Julie “Titanium Titties” & Just Jason Lyons “I Love Sorority Girls” Twatsssuuup! Made them cum i

Just Mike Hall “How Big is That Dick” Have Dick Will Travel made him cum!I

Visitors:

Penguin (aka F*cking Cold, Wee Ronnie, Whiskey Galore – 4x Hash Master of Jakarta H3, GM of Merdeka H3 & IndoMosdaldia H3) from whatever Hash his T-Shirt represents.  Penguin is also the Treasurer for the GOA Interhash Committee.

Baltimore (cuz Yank’s can’t sing anything but “A Girl From Baltimore”…guess he has yet to experience a Harriette from WH4!!) from Jakarta H3.  B along with Pale Lo Hale in 1982 founded the NYCH3.

 

Violations:

Denied Environmental:  Full Metal Balls forced Cum Sucking Road Whore (the dog) to poop on the move.  If pets and their owners share similar traits … do you … do … on the move too?  L

Bad-Dreams: Virgin Just Jason for causing a small riot during the circle when young Harriettes discovered he is from West Palm Beach, Chef @ Kappa Delta Sorority House.  Sausages are one of his specialties.

Media Slut: HolyTit! For appearing on MD Pewub-ic Television to promote the Western States 100-Miler

Sex-On-Trail: PIO & TWIG plus Takes A Lickin and Un-Pussable…neither would share!!

Excessive Compulsive Running (ECR):  Well Drilled and FMB for doing the Baltimore-Annapolis Rail-Trail Marathon as the warm-up for ‘Ancient Hash’.  Trouser Snake for moving faster than a walk on the walker’s trail.

 

Mis-Accessory To An Ancient Disappearance:  PPV, Just Nicole, Harddrive for failure to report C-Levey’s bones on trail.

 

B-Day Dodge-Balls: CAPT Titantic for depriving his Birthday Girl (spouse) of his you know what…and it was her 60th!!

 

New Shoes: Dairy Queen

 

Having a Life: Fag for having been away from the hash so long he forgot how to blow a friggin whistle

Poor Fashion Sense : Bite Me Elmo for wearing a chicken on her head

 

Returnees:

Fourth Skin                     Bull Shit

Sister Roulette                          Just Nicole

Tidy Bowl                        Just Laura

Just Dew

 

Anal-versaries and other

Grand-versaries:

Asshopper – 25 trails!

Spinal Tap – B-Day

Spinal Tap & Hasher Humper – New Grandbaby

Penguin – One of 5 Survivors of all Interhashes

 

Entertainment:

Customized by Just Karla

 

Eat bite suck fu*ck gobble nibble chew (woo!)

Tit*ty bosom hair pie finger fu*ck screw

Rat sh*it cat sh*it dirty rotten twat

Sixty-nine as*s holes tied in a knot

Rah rah White House

Sh*it fu*ck pi*ss!!

 

Hashit:

Nominations:

Diaper for being the incumbant

G-Boff for leaving his wallet for ???in Well-Drilled vehicle.                                   

Whinner!! : Mighty Tite for seeking a safe haven without notifying the hash of imminent estimates of danger.

 

 


Naming

Naming of Just Nicole cuz we can’t have ‘Just’ setting another trail!!  References: Got so hot after witnessing PIO’s trail sex she ventilated the seat of her sweat pants.  Favorite animal is equine (Horse), and favorite position(s) are all s*x  positions!

 

A

B

C

D

1

Late for Dinner

No Blood No Foul

Stretched Pussy No Brains

2

Always Late

Mr Head

Stretched Out

3

Easy Access

Show Me The Way

Sausage Vacuum

4

Gaping Ho

Big Mistake

 

Tight Squeeze

5

Pain in the Ass

I Like Big Dick

Licks Dick

 

First Round:  C2, C4, D3, B4, and D2

Second Round: D2 and B4

Just Nicole is now known at WH4 and at Hashes around the world as (see B4).

 

 

Up-cuming Events:

 

April 6th – OTH3 Hash-a-thon, go to www.hash-grease.com to register.

March 30th - 169th Running of the Full mOOn Hash, Clarendon Metro Station, 6:30pm, Trail is A to B, oNoNoN @ Whitey’s

March 24th - Beer Madness Hash, East Falls Church Metro, 3:00pm, Trail is A to A’/Cost=$3

March 18th – “AddADickTaMe” Ebert memorial dinner @ Austin Grill E Street, 750 E Street, NM, Wash DC. (703-855-5737) 50% of all food sales will go to Leukemia & Lymphoma Research when you indicate this on your bill

March 17th – Blarney Hash

March 15-16th – Mid-Atlantic Shamrock Festival, Ballston Entertainment Zone - $10/in advance.  Go to www.hiballevents.com

 

 

 

Need a really bitchin way to display/carry/not get separated from the most important item of your hash gear…the beer mug?  Then you need to order from IvyLicker, our darlin’ rugby kick-ass, give no quarter haberdasher a personalized (with your name!!) mug lanyard.  Special price---$8.

 
Hare-Splits

 

Dear Hare-Splits,

   I’m not that serious of a runner and some of these longer trails kick my butt. How can I tell which trails will be easy and which will be hard?

-          My Legs Hurt

 

Dear My Legs Hurt,

      Good Question. I used to wonder the same thing myself until I learned a few tricks to let me know when I can run and when I should stick to the walkers trail. Here they are:

1)       Check where the hash is. If its in NW Washington, you know that ninety nine percent of it is uphill.

2)       If the Hash has a theme, see what it says. Any trail with names like “This run is uphill”, “10 mile trail of horror”, and “5 dead, 4 still missing from last year” should be avoided.

3)       Learn Your Hares. Any trail that has been set by Holy Tit, Cum Scout, WOWO, PIO, Evil Jesus, Two Lips, Tip Her Whip Her, Sloppy Ho, More than a Mouthful, Fuck ‘em Dan-o, $50 Bitch, Diaper, or Snatch Shot should arouse your suspicion. On second thought, just be scared of every trail…hares are a-holes like that.

4)       Avoid EW3 trails all together

 

oN-oN - Hare Splits

 

 

Beer Madness Hash!!!!

March 24, 2002

 

The time has come to decide which beer is the best in the land!!! March 24, WH4 presents Beer Madness, where you decide what beer rules! Featuring t-shirts for sale, not one, but TWO beer checks, free giveaways, and  all for the low low price of THREE  bucks!!! Oh, did I mention the contest?

 

 


WH4 Edition 030302,

Hash Trash“All The Shit That Fits”

(202) PUD-JAM0 and (202) 232-HASH

www.dchashing.org/wh4

 

 

 

 

 

 

Beer Madness Contest

 

Da Rules :

 

1)       Fill out your vitals below.

2)       Fill in the brackets on the opposite side of this sheet. Use your own personal preference on deciding who wins.

3)       Which beer advances? The beer that gets the most votes of course!

4)       Show up for Beer Madness!!!

 

Scoring :

 

1)       Picking the winning beer in the first 2 rounds – 1 point, the 2nd two rounds – 2 points, the final four – 3 points.

2)       The winner is the hasher who gets the most correct

3)       Ties decided by pulling entries from a hat

4)       Confused? Ask Hey Ho to explain

 

Deadlines :

1)       All entries must be received by March 17. Turn into Hey Ho or Cum Scout.

2)       Electronic copies (for you lazy folk) are available. E-mail Hey Ho at mulligan00@hotmail.com for an entry. E-mail entries are due no later than March 20 by midnight.

 

Who da’ hell are you?

 

Hash Name :___________________________

 

Nerd Name : ___________________________

 

E-mail : _______________________________

 

Phone : _______________________________