White House Hash House Harriers

Hash Trash

Sunday, March 10, 2002

“Absolute Hash”

 

WH4 Hash: #818

Start: BECO Bldg, Rockville, MD

Hares:  Dumb & Dumber, Jesus Bitch, Evil Jesus, Microprick, Just Stuart

Beer Buns; Just David

Brew Crew:  Number 2 and The Pimp of Sarajevo

oNoNoN:  Chili’s Rockville Pike

Conditions: Cool, clear, and busty gusty at 14 knots from the W.NW with an occasional high altitude contrail. Surface temperature averaged 52°F, hug temperature averaged 101°F.

 


For U wankers that want more reporting on the trail: Over the asphalt and thru Rock-n-Pike traffic,

in search of beer we go, our feet know the way, in spite of shiggy delay, on hash its flour  ‘n chalk we go.  Tunnel down and water surround see trail left, trail right, trail up, trail under - the hares ran us asunder.  One block = Three, Check Back Three = Thirteen, Gawd I need an Absolut! Cheers! Neither trains, nor pains can induce any cares – just let me pair with my lovely bier!

 


Pre-Distractions:  Mellow Cheese Foreskin (who rarely does the Metro)  & Slip Knot (who always does the Metro option when available) sought solace in traveling together, convinced they were going to have to go to the end of the world for an absolute hash.  Motion made to deaf ears – all should get double credit for the days hash since they made it out so far from urban civilization.  That’s right my MD friends…Rockville is wanna be urban jungle.  To validate this point just look at where EWH3 does trail.  They pride themselves on honing their animal instincts every drinking day with a trip through the urban jungle.  How many times do they venture out to Rockville? In fact all WH4 hashers should get double credit for the Absolute hash simple cuz they survived the trip to the far and away start!  Head…head…who’s wearing HeaD why its T’N Eh as a Pedal-head!

 

Circle-Up:  You know the drill … these are virgins … state your name and who made you cum.  Just Larry has cum cuz of the Internet.  So since Harddrive is Mis-Webmeister does this mean he is responsible for Just Larry?  Or is it the Internet?  I just want to know who owes the hash a down-down for letting Just Larry use the trail as a training venue for his upcoming r*ce in the DC Marathon!

 

Obstacles:

(1) Celtic Climax considered joining two Scottish rouges in a Pathfinder looking to do some auto-hashing.  The longer she chatted with them, the more she was reminded of this old dead guy named Patrick who drove a bunch of snakes off the emerald Ireland.  Think she figured out where the snakes went! (2) Ducky has a penchant for sweet young things. So when the trail went through a field full of lovely sweet young things doing drills, D was grin’ in from ear to … well lets just say to ear.  He started to call out ‘Want to learn a new squat drill?’  When the appearance of tens of long sticks slapping the air caused him to swallow his comment…D why? (3) Symmetrical Hash Circles…who is the anal one? (4) Shiggy and trip wires were not strong enough to hold Just Marcy back.  No sir-E, nothing stays between Just Marcy and her beer! (5) Leave It In Beaver suffered a brief moment of clarity when it dawned on him he had permitted his personal pursuits to take him off of the date-eligible listing and immediately began car dodging.  Thankfully it was for only a brief moment…but Harriettes, he is still hooked…eulogy is at 10am next week…. (6) Mighty Tite thought creative memories was a scrape-booking hobby thing AND now he knows that creative memories also occur when U R on hash and also hear true trail calls 100 yards to your left. (7) Tunneling: follow AssHopper (great buns!) even if it is obvious that the trail continues up on the other side of the road. (8) Sex in the bush (Caminito and Tip Her Whip Her) after a game of spin the bottle.  (9)  RDR T-Shirt tied across the sweet rear cheeks of Fuck’em Dano so that it appears he has ‘Ranger Eyes” on his buns as he scoots up the steep embankment at the Stone Bridge.

(10)  Hash mooning of the AMTRAK and freight trains that kept hashers from their beer.

 

Distractions:

(a) Tip Her Whip Her and AssHopper bodily canceling each other out during an attempted lay-up on the B-Ball court.  (Okay, we know it is March Madness and that you are practicing for Mar 24th.  However it is the 12oz curl that should have your focus.)

(b) Drinks Like A Girl’s enthusiasm for the increased potential to witness a Darwin Award Nomination when the AMTRAK and freight trains cut trail.  “…ANY DEAD HASHERS?”

(c) Giggle Lo’s seduction of Just Katie.  Just Katie steps out of her house for a little fitness work and is seduced on the spot by GL into hashing.  Wonder why she didn’t stay for circle…did your hands get disconnected from your arms?

(d) Oral arguments by Cuming on Down, Blarney, Hydro Ho, Woody, Love Bug, and Little Buddy on the finer points of throwing off head…during the pouring of beer.  What R U thinking?

(e) Evil Jesus mooning the scribes.  I Do Testicles witnessed the event and declared the activity an 8.5 on a 1-10 scale.

(f) Delaware Queen, JAG, and Nice Tits getting stuck on a kiddy slide.

 

Circle-Antics

 

Virgins:

Just Michelle “I’ve got your genitals” No Genitals made her cum

Just Amy “Whip it real good” Tip Her Whip Her made her cum

Just Larry “Wanks off” The internet made him cum

Just Scotty “Purple Woody” Just Michael made him cum

Just Eric “Not sure who made him cum” No Genitals made him cum

 

Visitors:

Cuming on Down, Blarney, Hydro Ho, Woody, Love Bug, Giggle Lo, and Little Buddy all from Baltimore-Annapolis. Nice Tits from ??????

 

Anal-Versaries:

Microprick – 25 runs

WOWO – 100 runs

Trouser Snake – 175 runs

 

B-Days:

Fuck ‘em Dano, Delaware Queen, Tip Her Whip Her, and Road Whore

 

Headliners:

Two Lips In The Bush Wins 50-Miler!  Two Lips coasted to the finish line with a 4 shoes lead when the 2 guys he was r*cing stopped to change their shoes after the trail went through water.  When asked at the finish to assess the one thing he did in training that contributed the most to his success, he replied it was Hashing!  Hashing provided him with ample opportunity to run with wet feet whether from trail water or beer spillage! ON-ON!

 

Violations:

 

Hare Abuse:  Tip Her Whip Her for ab-using three Hares this hash (AssFinder for balls play, Caminito for bush play, and AssHopper for a lay (up). [Darling, know you have a birthday and may be feeling a bit old-er and like you need to prove something.  Remember you still have another 10 years at least before you hit your s*xual peak – save some for later]

Hashland Protection:  All Hares: (1) No Rail Safety Briefing;

(2) Failure to use fingers, toes, and other appendages in support of accurate counting; (3) Setting numerous booby traps and never producing a booby!  Did anyone see a booby? (4) Failure to provide full disclosure regarding shiggy and back checks. (5) Improper advertising… Absolute Hash had no Absolut.

Solitary Confinement:  Solo playing with balls by Assfinder.  Twaaaattttsssuuuppp for passing on free Tequila Immunizations Shots

Improper Attire: R*cing shirt covering Takes-A-Lickin and Closet Slut.  Cutesy silk boxers with Weinreimer’s on WoWo..

Hare Knots:  OJ Simpson maintained bed-head inspite/cuz of 14 knot winds.

Shivilary:  Muddy back of WoWo’s shirt…we now know who took the bottom.

Mis-Communications:  Sarajevo playing kissy face with a cell phone instead of pouring beer.  Priorities please!

Grande Environmental:  Virgin Avec Mary…At SSBB.  Walks away from SSBB with TP.  Returns to SSBB with no TP.

New Shoes:  #69

Beer Abuse:  Delaware Queen greased a kiddy slide with dark ale.  Might fine skid mark on those drawers!

Missed Di-erections:  Telecum for asking a civilian on how to exit White Flint Mall (through a glass door not a cyberportal!)

Shockers:  Cum Scout drawing football plays with trail chalk!!  No Genitals whining about not being wet enough!  (Cum on, the Harriers at this hash had something for everyone!).

Beer Buns (Just David) actually asking about what the rules were for pouring beer.  Man this is a hash…there are no rules!!  Advertisement: Media Slut looking for Beer Bitch in the personals.

 

Kewl Stuff:

Like what you see…get the complete photo collection on your own CD for

a nominal fee ($3).  See or email  Road Whore for details!

 

Next Hash:

When: March 24, 2002

Theme: Beer Madness (A to A’)

Start: East Falls Church Metro

Hares/Referees: 6 of your favorite MM beer lovers

Cost: Rolled Back to $3

Why Cum:  Kewl stuff to giveaway, lots of special beer, to learn which beer is the King of the Hash!

 

Up-Cumming Event:

Boston Hash House Harriers  announces it's annual Boston Marath*n Hash Weekend April 11-15.

Boston H3 welcomes you, whether running the Marathon, or just coming for the hash weekend!

 

Want to Register for the weekend?

Registration for our Marathon Week end Hash Event is at  www.bostonhash.com on the "Events"

Page.   Registration is only for Satruday's hash and event, the rest of the weekend is pay as you go! Agenda for the weekend is flexible... feel free to take part in some or all of our weekend!  Some hashers come for events Thur through Tuesday, others

come for just the Marathon, and others come for the weekend events!

If you need crash space, we can provide it!  Email the hash crash space coordinator, at sandy.miller@rcn.com

The theme is the "Mad Hatter TeaBag Party" so bring your strangest chapeaux (that’s hat for you wankers) if you want to fit in.  This is our largest Marathon Hash Weekend yet!  Come take part!  Bo, aka Cream Whora

Event Chair, Mad Hatter TeaBag Party Weekend

 

AGENDA: The "Mad Hatter TeaBag Party" Annual Boston Marath*n

Hash Weekend

April 11th - 15th, 2002

 

Schedule and Fees

April 11th Thursday Night 'Contra Hash' and Darts

Time & Start: TBD

Pay as you Go

 

April 12th Friday Night Pub Crawl

Time & Start: TBD

Pay as you Go

(We are currently researching the best places for you to drink. It's a thankless job, and we're happy to do it!)

 

April 13th Saturday Hash  time: registration 1pm HST, Hares away

2pm HST

Start: Copley Square across the street from the Public Library

Free before March 01 / $25 before April 01 / Free on April 1st (if received afer 2430 hours international

time) / $30 after April 01

 

April 14th Sunday Hang Over Hash

Time: TBD

Hash Cash TBD (collection at hash)

 

April 15th The Boston Marathon

The Boston Hash House Harriers has a Beer Check at Mile 22, and there is a party after the Marathon. The

party is pay-as-you-go

 

For Up-to-the-minute details & updates during the weekend you can call the BH3 "Hash Hotline #"

(617.499.4835 ) at all times.  Details & updates will also be on our website @  www.bostonhash.com

If all else fails, call Cream Whora's cell #  @ 617.905.1383 for assistance.

HOTEL INFORMATION: Ok, most of you wankers may already have a place to stay, if not, check out: CityWideReservations for the cheapest rooms: www.cityres.com

or 800.468.3593

 

WH4 Edition 031002, Hash Trash“All The Shit That Fits” (202) PUD-JAM0 and (202) 232-HASH     www.dchashing.org/wh4