White House Hash House Harriers           Hash Trash for March 17, 2002              “Irish Mist”
Before:
 
wJwJ, Shock a Cock, Dumb-n-Dumber,
Duck Job

WH4 Hash: #819                                                    Start:  Penn Grill 20th and I (Eye) Sts                                          Hares: Duck Job the Mighty, Shock a Cock the Intrepid, Dumb–n-Dumber the Token  Foreigner, & wJwJ the Meek                                               Brew Crew: Virgin Avec Mary & Fuck ‘em Dano
Beer Buns:  Just Mike (Fleming Irish)
ONONON: Froggy Bottom Grill

During
 
Dumb-n-Dumber, wJwJ, Ducky, Shock a Cock

Pre-Trail Preening:
A wee Gaelic Mist drifted into thee Hash as thee Laddies and Lassies mingled in front of the Penn Grill primping and pruning thee fine ‘ire green finery. Celtic Climax ever ob-servant noted a rather large fly looking back at those in fine green and deduced Penn Grill must have a good hearty Irish stew to be so large at ‘tis time of year. Leave it to thee Hashers to take a mild misty day and honor its greening effect with a bit ‘o green themselves. RAS and wJwJ .  (And yes Gaping Ho, ww was long of limb and stubble free!) with their green n gold packer and packerette threads could hold no candle to the mighty fashion leper-con…Duck Job.  Ducky humbled all who stood in his presence with his green threads!
 
Cast thee eyes down for ye R knot worthy!

Burning Bush with her red hair and green I’s (eyes) flashed her pearly whites when it was proclaimed that the 12 shamrocks on her chest indicated her progress through the Boston Celtics (only 4 to go!)

 
Is everybody happy?

Returning to more Gaelic pursuits, Just Carmen decided to lend a bit ‘o luck to Gay with a personalized arm wrap (Are we getting warmer…know we are wetter).  Poodle Fucked wasn’t having any of that cuddly, hold me stuff…he’s been working out-getting fit (yes more than a 12oz curl) & continued to dare the elements to get the best of him.  Preferring to work with the elements (beer, beer, and more beer…M.I.C Shoots Blanks, Target Practice, and Designer Bush brought a bit of the Old Brogue Brunch with them. After almost losing their brunch residual to a rousing balance-challenged rendition of Father Abraham, they chose the XS version of the trail and retired to the hot tub.  With a quick kiss for Shock A Cock (see I can follow directions “Kiss Me I’m Irish!”) Trotting down 20th  St., Back Snatch demonstrated a moment of half full-mind clarity & recom-mended the Scribes use…get this our techno-geek friends…a pencil…(like we’ve even seen one lately!)  when it rains in order to record notes.  What does he think the scribes do…actually pay attention and report facts…someone needs more beer!

 
PIO trailing Bull Derek during a tail interview with TWIG

On the Trail Again:
 When Irish “Is” see steam in the mist, it can only mean one thing…a lad n lassie connection.  Inspite of such delicious distractions, the Hares (PIO continuously  looking for 20 minute legs; wJwJ being forced to accessorize with a satchel of flour; Dumb-n-Dumber kept blowing by the inter-sex-tion of 24/4=__  27/3=__ (69 for the math impaired); and Shock a Cock hunted Irish XXXX’s) still managed to keep the pack together. Blast from the Past phenomenon occurred at the Bailey’s shot check when Just Lynne Joiner walked on to trail. Just Lynne did trail with the Shanghi H3 in ‘95, ‘96, and ’98 (her hash name…she’d have to do something ugly if she told us).  The last St Pat’s trail she pursued was also on a misty, cool day.  Trail ended at a factory managed by an Irishman who got Guinness to provide free beer as a compliment to the Hash Mother’s Irish Stew. (Hey…does WH4 have a Hash Mom?  I want to know my Mommie!)
Well Drilled declared that orderliness was not Irishness and joined forces with Just Tara, Gaping Ho, Just Karla, and Bull Derek to restore mis-order (One more layer please!). Cumming off the Bailey’s shot check Mother’s Lay (aka Sean O’Cuntery) assisted the strippin’ lassies and used the tip of his umbrella to separate bits of o’green from gold among the Hashers.  ML was most successful in this endeavor as Haberdasher once he paid Duck Job and Betty Crotcher to try some creative driving with the bag vehicle.  While DJ and BC were entertaining a DC enforcement officer, cold, wet hashers were separating themselves from their green for dry whites and blacks.
Close to the Irish reservation containing the only Amb-ass-ador with an American holiday of ale and o’debauchery, the Hash paused to pay Ho’mage with a bit of a beer check.  Hare Pie and Celtic Climax the token Irish O’Hashers, demonstrated ale homage to their wee ambassador.

 
Irish O’Liaisons: Celtic Climax n Hare Pie

Even the Hares paused to give thanks.  In fact all was lucky for the Hash until Virgin Avec Mary under the Union Jack picketed the sidewalk.  Despite wanking by Pimpy (I’m tired…I drank…r*ced a 10K…blah, blah, blah) the hash moved on. Pimpy note that $50 Bitch did a 20-mile trail to get to the Hash, did trail, and then a beer break. (Awe-sum!) so quit wankin’!
Navigating urban sign to the finish of this shitty trail, Drinks Like A Girl lead the auto-dodge-hash fitness test in Rock Creek.  15 years ago the Army called it run-dodge-n jump.  See violations-Wet Shirt Contest-  for what happened next!

Circle-Antics:

Laddies & Lassies Celebrating Thee B-Bays:
“A Birthday!  How do you drink we celebrate?  Did I say "Drink?"  I meant "think!"  Where was my foamy head?  No, Head! Just "Head!" Man, I need to have my keg examined!  Happy Thirstday, I mean Birthday to No Dick No Brains, Designer Bush, Tip Her Whip Her, Twatsssuuup, ‘n TWIG

Virgins:
Just Carl “I Fuck Dano” – Fuck’em Dano made thee lad cum! Just Cha-Cha “CHA-CHA-CHA!”– Just Tara made this lassie cum!  Just Troy “You Know What They Say About Big Noses”– Double Wide Trailer Trash made thee lad cum! Nice to note those who don’t limit themselves to 50%!

 
Just Carl     Just Cha-Cha   Just Troy

Just Carl “I Fuck Dano” – Fuck’em Dano made thee lad cum! Just Cha-Cha “CHA-CHA-CHA!”– Just Tara made this lassie cum!  Just Troy “You Know What They Say About Big Noses”– Double Wide Trailer Trash made thee lad cum! Nice to note those who don’t limit themselves to 50%!

Anal-Versarian:
Slip Knot-250 Trails

Flash-Back:
Remember BB and her quest for 16 shamrocks?  Guess who got caught chilling out after a training session with a to-remain an unidentified harrier!
 
BB: Ah, cigarette, a beer, mm…mm..good 4 me!

Visitors:
Double Wide Trailer Trash from Waukesha H3 (On Wisconsin!!); Just Troy, Waukesha, WI; from Atlanta H3 (WHAT’S IN THE BAG!) wee ‘ad Erection Master, Head Nurse, and Stick A Finger; from Colorado Springs H3 there was the enchanting Bull Derek – no wonder the Marines are ssooo successful with recruiting the Few-the Proud-the ______!!!!!

Violations:

Most Unique:
Dumb-n-Dumber for puking on the Metro (and the Mrs.) after last week’s hash. ‘No food, no drink…nothin’ about no puke!’

Cellular Cunt-s*x-tions:
 Tip Her Whip Her with Jingle Jizz (Jingle Jizz, Jingle Jizz, Jingle all the way…..)

Fast Break-up:
Milk Me knows how to get rid of her men. They get the auto, she gets Nike, light turns Green and Va-Voom…nothings but legs and tight buns!

Wet Shirt Contest:
Some clubs allow participation in wet shirt contests to be optional.  Ducky and Betty Crotcher preferred a mandatory approach and sought to solicit the assistance of a DC Cop to enforce participation. Getting a Cop’s attention was another matter.  BC tried to get their attention by making a fashion statement…..…but was unsuccessful.  So Ducky, being the resourceful guy-in-a-dress with beer breath, chose to make a left turn on red.  Now they had a Cops attention, but it wasn’t a wet shirt contest that the cop was interested in exploring!!
 

 Betty O’Crotcher: what you want your bags…dry clothes..see the haberdasher!!

More Cop Stories:
 Missed Erections attracted a cops attention by screwing up a monologue of the Alphabet (I..B..X..C….)

Whinning Wankers:
Trouser Snake for purchasing the book Sex for Dummies cuz he needed a diversion from the cheerful brogue of fellow hashers.
Pimp of Sarajevo for having to walk vice trot trail cuz he was too tired after a night of Irish toasting and a wee bit of a 10K for a wake-up call. (Note:  THWH started celebrating at 2pm Sat, refreshed at Golden Showers, swirled at Lu-Lu’s, put in 50min @ the 10K, was honored Beer Taster at Old Post Pavilion, and then cum’s to hash w/o 1 tiny little whine)

New Shoes:
Bull Derek
 
BD: Drink it Down-Down-Down!

Being Selfish:
S*x walkers (U know who U-R) for doing golden arches whoppers!

Bag Laddie:
Yank Me Out for keeping his Whinny-ee the Pooh sweatshirt covered in clear plastic.

Mis-Placed Flash-Boob Priorities:
No Genitals decided that hasher men get enough flash-boob, so she flashed all but ‘hashers’ at the St Pat’s Eve Party
 R*cing on a Hash Day!:
Busted!!
 
THWH           Pimpy      Slip Knot

THWH, Hare Pie, Pimpy, Slip Knot all R*ced and Snatch Key Kid was a r*ce official.  Wow, even a half-mind like SKK can track r*nners and a r*ce!  Amazing what those special training programs can accomplish.

Being Uppity:
Gay & Silent Knob turned down free, specially brought ale!

General Purpose:
All Harriers for failure to pursue the hot, leather-clad Irish Chick that bolted out of the Ambassador’s residence and down the street at the beer check.

Not R*cing On Hash Day
Cuz of a Car!
Semen on the Pew linked up with a gal last night that owned a car.  One thing led to another and … he had to take a cab to the Hash…Hey what about that r*ce…concerned that the mighty THWH would kick butt & re-name ya?

Theoretical Hashing:
Oregon Grinder shows up dry as a bone to the circle and the oNoNoN.

 
OG: I didn’t want my green fluffies to get wet!

.
Out-of-Season S*x-capades:
Caminito and Milk Me for giving/receiving corner s*x on a Sunday in spite of the posted di-erections stating “Receiving Hours are Monday thru Friday Only”

 
Taking Notes on ‘Receiving’ Techniques!
 

Naming:
Just Dan was a good looking man looking for some claim to fame. At one time he was set with corny porn on the internet. Then he did the humps at the zoo ‘n the women stopped their coo ‘in.  So to circle Catterwahls of Camel Ho and Bitch ‘n Tits all bemoaned the loss of the Porn on the Web in favor of Porn on the Cob.  Neither Stickey Wickets or Good Will Cunting could revive Conan the Boob-barian to do a Union Jack-Off.  Big-Dumb-n-Stupid he looked for Tony Hog Puss Gater 2 inspite of Rocky Spew All and Sperminator issues.  With Hops on Top some proclaimed him to be one hasher cut from an au naturale cloth like Dave Cummings Jr and Ron Jerame.  Whether Making Cock or Cumming On The Web it was still Suckin  Cummings getting Shorter Cummings until the RA intervened and declared him Not Necessarily Gay!

 
$50 baptizing Not Necessarily Gay
 
 
 
 
 

ONONON and AROUND:

 Cum Scout…try Oreo next time!!

 
Here’s to the Lassies they’re true blue!

 
Mitey Tite Lad and Lassies – Look everybody’s happy!

 
Latest Intell:  WI lost to the Terps!
 

Dear Hare Splits:  Why does everyone get excited during the “What’s in the Bag?” Chant?
-Virgin Yank!-
Dear Virgin Yank:

A relocating Harriette from a gentile Southern Hash read about next week’s Full mOOn #I69 Trail (March 30th-06:30pm Clarendon Metro).  Wanting to be prepared for any version of I-69 activities she expects to encounter, she trained with various aides.  While packing, these aides were mis-placed.  The mother hash not wanting one of its own to not score, sent in a search party.  A successful permitted the aides to be escorted and presented to the Harriette in front of the very Hashers she desires to score.  Based upon the … energetic bag vibrations … one deduces she is prepared!

ONON!
Hare Splits

 
What’s in the Bag?

 
Mr Softie:  I know what’s in the bag!

Upcumming Events!

Cum One, Cum All!
Easter Sunday Hash in Herndon
Start:  Jimmy's Old Town Tavern Spring & Elden Streets, Herndon, VA  Municipal Park lot on Spring Street (follow the blue signs with a large P) When: Easter Sunday - wear your Easter Sunday best - bonnets, ears, tails.  Di-erections:  267 Toll Road West off of I-495, Exit 11 onto 7100 North. After 2nd Stop Lite take Baron Cameron exit Stay left on exit ramp. Turn Left onto Elden Street (Baron Cameron, too). Go about a mile and turn right onto Spring Street and park in the muni lot on your left.  OnOnOn:    Jimmy's Old Town Tavern, 267 Spring Street, Herndon, VA.  $1.50 pints of Bud Light and Miller Light draft $2.25 rail drinks Jimmy's is opening up 2 hours early just for us.  He said we could do anything we want until 8 p.m.  Order food off the menu.  Hares: Big Dick No Brains, Watergate, Betty Crotcher, M.I.C-Och Shoots Blanks & Target Practice.
 

# 822 Sunday April 7th:  2 Lips in the Bush, Ass Finder (VA)
#823 Sunday April 14th:  PIO, CumScout, Closet Slut (Alexandria)
#824 Sunday April 21st:   $50Bitch, AndHowsHerBush  (NW DC)
#825 Sunday April 28th:  Ivy Licker (Spingfield)

THE 169TH RUNNING OF THE DC AREA FULL MOON HASH!

Hash #169: Saturday, 30 March 2002 at 6:30 pm. The 169th Running of the DC Area Full mOOn Hash! "1 Good 69 Deserves Another!" Come out and celebrate the only 69er that occurs once a decade! Its
also the Worm Moon month on the full mOOn calendar, so expect shooters and treats for trail. Start: Clarendon Metro Station, Arlington, Virginia  Hares: Vibrator, Picabo Street Walker, Just Mark, Late Cummer, and Golden Showers.  Cost: $5  Misc: A-to-B trail. (Bag vehicle will be provided)
 
 

PHOTOGRAPHIC EVIDENCE CD VOL ONE-Hurry and get one of the remaining copies from the Haberdasher! Over 1,500 photos from a 12-pack of hashes, Pre-Lude, Red Dress Run, Holiday party, and Full Moon for the cost of $3.
 

WH4 Edition 031702, Hash Trash,
“All The Shit That Fits”
(202) PUD-JAM0 & (202) 232-HASH     www.dchashing.org/wh4