White House Hash House Harriers     Hash Trash Sunday, March 31, 2002
“Easter Hash”
 
WH4 Hash: #821                                    Start:  Herndon                                     Hares: Big Dick No Brains, Watergate, Betty Crotcher, M.I.C.-Och Shoots Blanks, Target Practice, Just Joe                          Brew Crew: Cum Scout, Jack Off Lantern                    Beer Buns: Opps!
It was a cold, gray day that greeted us after making the long, perilous trip to Herndon.
 
As the hash had the first cold one of the day, Hasher Humper arrived wearing a bunny nose with Spinal Tap arriving in similar fashion but with the addition of having an iguana, or was it a gecko, on his head…Final proof that human cloning should be avoided.
 
It seemed as if this was to be a day of pairing – Bavarian Bush and TWIG were both sporting VH3 colors in euro-black while Hawaiian Puke and Turkey Timer paired using Vacation with Bernie colors.
 
The colors appeared even bolder against the gray skies that our visitor from FT Eustis could only eek out LAA-LAA when asked to introduce himself.  When called to circle up, all toughs like Missed Erections wearing the appropriate Easter attire led us in a rousing rendition of Father Abraham.
 
Betty Crotcher then informed us that trail was set using multiple techniques, and a demonstration of all of them was available upon request. And with that we were on-on.  Easter eggs were checks (along with dicks and tits).  Treelines and fences were all false trails. 30-seconds later we were on-‘where the hell is trail’ chants. While the FRB’s checked, Vominatrix did her Easter bunny impression, quickly diving into the woods and whispering on-on to a few lucky hashers. Test Tube Baby eager to help her look for Easter eggs started to follow, but we had found trail and were on-on once again. Through the rough and tumble streets of Herndon we went, until we ended up at…on-in after only 15 minutes on trail??? While many were happy to just wait and avoid the rest of trail, No Genitals and Ivy Licker quickly deduced that it would mean missing two Jell-O shooter checks and the beer check, so we immediately headed back, found trail, and arrived at the jello-shot check.
 
Clorox Kidd and Hey Ho proclaimed the early on-in group should get double credit for having to start trail twice.  Wankers!! Course For Sale or Rent, Slip Knot, and Mr Softie were not so easily fooled and they were the FRBs to the first Jell-O shooter check.
 
French Toasted, Burning Bush, and Caminito actually deciphered the trail markings and accumulated the shiggy-graphs on their limbs as proof. While enjoying jello-shooters, some of the pack enjoyed the free cream cumdiments that were available. Virgin Avec Mary demonstrated cream-on-cherry, Free Refills enjoyed cream with a bunch of grapes (which BTW so totally exhausted her she had to take the sick, lame, n lazy route to the beer check),  Astro skipped the formalities and got cream straight from the tap. (Editors note…all references to cream should have read whip cream. We should apologize to the above named hashers for any embarrassment this error may have caused…but we won’t!) Eventually, the pack made their way back on to trail. We went across a field and down to a creek that we were apparently meant to run through. This made Tip Her Whip Her begin to use words that were inappropriate for Easter, and the hash was taken aback. She was calmed by TWIG  who immediately jumped in, showing Tipper how much fun it could be to get wet!  $50 Bitch yelled power of the pussy and R*ced Vom back and forth through the water obstacle. 4 hard-bodied women all hot and wet – BDNB was beside himself for he had achieved his objective with this portion of the trail. Upon exiting the creek, the pack lost trail, but we found a civilian who was nice enough to point us in the correct direction, mostly so we would get out of his yard and take drooling Watergate with us.
 
Sweet wheels!  Soon enough, we were on-in to the beer check. At the check, many hashers compared blood loss from the shiggy, such as Wacks On Wacks Off and Shellacking The Bishop. None could compare with Back Snatch whose ooze down his thigh prompted Trouser Snake to volunteer his hands for compression assistance – BS wasn’t having any of that though.  Some, such as RoadWhore, Mr Softie, #2, and Great Balls of Fire took the opportunity to find a tree and do their part to ease the drought.
 
Spurred on by the knowledge that free-porn awaited at the on-on-on, and that Beer Buns (Opps!) wasn’t going to take off any more layers, Pay-Per-View, Pacific Rim and Unfuckable lead the pack out of the check and through a tunnel, crossing yet another creek in the process. We were then sent on a long, straight checkless patch of road where Da Boobs and Prison Prom Queen debated the virtues of manhole covers and womanhole covers as entrepreneurial birth control options. And then it began to pour rain. Bite Me Elmo guided all thru the emplacement of organic Frankenstein shoe covers – which forced the pack to move like Suzanne Sommers on a thigh master video (not quite the free porn advertised) which Dumb-n-Dumber enjoyed. Suddenly it got darker, and it thundered and there was great lightening and Hey Ho was alone because Oregon Grinder, Poodle, Twatsup, Cum Quefadore and Bad Dog all left him. And he was cold and tired and there were wolves chasing him. (All right. Calm Down, HH will drink for whining.)  Long story short, the only person HH saw on the third part of trail was Tipper, so it was assumed everyone ran to on-in and was happy to do so—except Betty Crotcher who decided to take advantage of the pouring rain to scrub vice sweep trail making it into the Circle just in time to enjoy not 1, not 2, but 10 hare down-downs!!

CircleAntics
Visitor:
LAA-LAA from Fort Use-less, we mean Eustis H3.
Virgin:
 
Apparently due to the threatening weather, only one virgin was brave enough to try out the hash this week. However, we salute the brave Just Joe “Trick Dick” and Watergate who made him cum!
Analverseries:
Asstroturf and TurkeyTimer joined the ranks of the 25-run mug members, and No Genitals wins this week’s award for Having No Apparent Life for run #200.
 
Where Ya Been???
For Sale or Rent, Looney, Bad Dog, and DryCock were the long time no seers that took time out of their busy schedule’s to show up to the hash.
Violations
No Genitals for not just racing a 15k but cumming in 2nd
Big Dick No Brains for autohashing his own trail (cuz he couldn’t stay up with 4 hot & wet harrieties)
Mr. Softie, Number 2, RoadWhore, and Great Balls of Fire for doing their part to help ease the drought even though it was pouring outside.
Burning Bush and Organ Grinder for swinging on trail (where was I??)
Walkers who autohashed (your walkers…geez!) There were too damn many to count
VAM for promising she would run and ending up with the autohashers
WOWO and Test Tube Baby for leaving certain articles of clothing at Oregon Grinders after the full mOOn.
DA BOOBS, Prison Prom Queen, Oregon Grinder, Poodle, TwatsUp, CumQuefaDore, and Bad Dog all owe Hash Cash for late sign-in etiquette violations. Late is bad enough, but at least you could try to bribe her with a beer and snacks since she misses out when she has to do the hash cash thing!!  (Major Hint here for repeat offenders!)
Hashit:
The incumbent Great Balls of Fire was immediately re-nominated for his poor taste in headwear. Shellacking The Bishop was nominated because his rubber burst on trail. However, It was decided that $50 Bitch should receive the honor for not helping hashers in need. A few moments later, she lost the award when Big Dick No Brains, committed a horrible offense, knocking over a full pitcher of beer in the middle of Swing Low.
 
No worries mates, for LAA-LAA assumed the position and slurped it all up!
All-a-lie for Hash #822:
 
Brew crew team of Cum Scout and Jack Off ran over the E-bunny on Easter with Shitty!!
 
On-In:
 
Marydonna!
Songmeister VAM proved to all that she could quit her day job and still be employed using her oral talents.
Watergate, Target Practice and Designer Bush to the background of ‘I Want To Feel You’ made the ‘ladies’ of free porn look like amateurs as they too demonstrated various laws of physics when bodies are set in motion.  (Hubba-Hubba!)
 
Guys…I don’t think the entertainment factor is the same as what was recorded above!!
Hare Splits:
Dear Hare Splits,                                         How do I go about submitting questions for your column?                                         Pondering
Dear Pondering,                                       Good Question! Simply find Hey Ho or Twig, submit your question, and pow!! Your question could be in the next Trash. We encourage you to submit, partly because we are interested, but mostly we want to spend less time being creative and making up questions, and more time drinking beer and getting cheap feels and on-in’s. So see a scribe today!       - Hare Splits
Other Kewl Stuff to Know:
Photographic Evidence CD Vol One is on sale. Over 1,500 photos from a
12-pack of hashes, Pre-Lude, Red Dress Run, Holiday party, and Full mOOn for the cost of $3.  See the Haberdashers - Ivy Licker or Mother’s Lay
 
 

What U will be Doing for the next few Sunday afternOOns:

#823 Sunday April 14:  PIO, CumScout, ClosetSlut (Alexandria)

#824 Sunday April 21: $50 Bitch, AndHowsHerBush  (NW DC)

#825 Sunday April 28: Ivy Licker (Spingfield)

#826 Sunday May 5:   Trouser Snake, Golden Showers (Crystal City - RedCross and/or Mile High Club Hash)
 

COME JOIN THE ZAGREB H3 FOR A CRUISE ON CROATIA'S LOVELY DALMATIAN
COAST

Dates: Friday 21st June until Saturday 29th June 2002 (with an optional Saturday pre-boarding registration in Split). For more Information and registration form, go to:
http://xjh3.tripod.com/Zagreb_Hash/id14.html
or see Semen on the Pew.

Summer camping trip is around the corner tentatively scheduled for July 19-21.  First off, make sure you take Monday, July 22 off from work.  Second:  put on your thinking caps and see if you can cum up with the winning theme for this year’s camping trip.  Third:  before you lose your theme idea, find a member of mis-management, tell them your theme idea and then quickly flash ‘em so they won’t forget that to see more remember ______________!  Previous themes were Band Camp and Bible Camp!!

WH4,  Edition 033102,         Hash Trash                                “All the Shit that Fits”                (202) PUD-JAM0 and             (202) 232-HASH WWW.DCHASHING.ORG/WH4

 
1st Award Hash Shit
 
2nd Award Hash Shit