White House Hash House Harriers
Hash Trash Sunday, March 31, 2002
“Easter Hash”
WH4 Hash: #821
Start: Herndon
Hares: Big Dick No Brains, Watergate, Betty Crotcher, M.I.C.-Och Shoots
Blanks, Target Practice, Just Joe
Brew Crew: Cum Scout, Jack Off Lantern
Beer Buns: Opps!
It was a cold, gray day that greeted us after making the long, perilous
trip to Herndon.
As the hash had the first cold one of the day, Hasher Humper arrived
wearing a bunny nose with Spinal Tap arriving in similar fashion but with
the addition of having an iguana, or was it a gecko, on his head…Final
proof that human cloning should be avoided.
It seemed as if this was to be a day of pairing – Bavarian Bush and
TWIG were both sporting VH3 colors in euro-black while Hawaiian Puke and
Turkey Timer paired using Vacation with Bernie colors.
The colors appeared even bolder against the gray skies that our visitor
from FT Eustis could only eek out LAA-LAA when asked to introduce himself.
When called to circle up, all toughs like Missed Erections wearing the
appropriate Easter attire led us in a rousing rendition of Father Abraham.
Betty Crotcher then informed us that trail was set using multiple techniques,
and a demonstration of all of them was available upon request. And with
that we were on-on. Easter eggs were checks (along with dicks and
tits). Treelines and fences were all false trails. 30-seconds later
we were on-‘where the hell is trail’ chants. While the FRB’s checked, Vominatrix
did her Easter bunny impression, quickly diving into the woods and whispering
on-on to a few lucky hashers. Test Tube Baby eager to help her look for
Easter eggs started to follow, but we had found trail and were on-on once
again. Through the rough and tumble streets of Herndon we went, until we
ended up at…on-in after only 15 minutes on trail??? While many were happy
to just wait and avoid the rest of trail, No Genitals and Ivy Licker quickly
deduced that it would mean missing two Jell-O shooter checks and the beer
check, so we immediately headed back, found trail, and arrived at the jello-shot
check.
Clorox Kidd and Hey Ho proclaimed the early on-in group should get
double credit for having to start trail twice. Wankers!! Course For
Sale or Rent, Slip Knot, and Mr Softie were not so easily fooled and they
were the FRBs to the first Jell-O shooter check.
French Toasted, Burning Bush, and Caminito actually deciphered the
trail markings and accumulated the shiggy-graphs on their limbs as proof.
While enjoying jello-shooters, some of the pack enjoyed the free cream
cumdiments that were available. Virgin Avec Mary demonstrated cream-on-cherry,
Free Refills enjoyed cream with a bunch of grapes (which BTW so totally
exhausted her she had to take the sick, lame, n lazy route to the beer
check), Astro skipped the formalities and got cream straight from
the tap. (Editors note…all references to cream should have read whip cream.
We should apologize to the above named hashers for any embarrassment this
error may have caused…but we won’t!) Eventually, the pack made their way
back on to trail. We went across a field and down to a creek that we were
apparently meant to run through. This made Tip Her Whip Her begin to use
words that were inappropriate for Easter, and the hash was taken aback.
She was calmed by TWIG who immediately jumped in, showing Tipper
how much fun it could be to get wet! $50 Bitch yelled power of the
pussy and R*ced Vom back and forth through the water obstacle. 4 hard-bodied
women all hot and wet – BDNB was beside himself for he had achieved his
objective with this portion of the trail. Upon exiting the creek, the pack
lost trail, but we found a civilian who was nice enough to point us in
the correct direction, mostly so we would get out of his yard and take
drooling Watergate with us.
Sweet wheels! Soon enough, we were on-in to the beer check. At
the check, many hashers compared blood loss from the shiggy, such as Wacks
On Wacks Off and Shellacking The Bishop. None could compare with Back Snatch
whose ooze down his thigh prompted Trouser Snake to volunteer his hands
for compression assistance – BS wasn’t having any of that though.
Some, such as RoadWhore, Mr Softie, #2, and Great Balls of Fire took the
opportunity to find a tree and do their part to ease the drought.
Spurred on by the knowledge that free-porn awaited at the on-on-on,
and that Beer Buns (Opps!) wasn’t going to take off any more layers, Pay-Per-View,
Pacific Rim and Unfuckable lead the pack out of the check and through a
tunnel, crossing yet another creek in the process. We were then sent on
a long, straight checkless patch of road where Da Boobs and Prison Prom
Queen debated the virtues of manhole covers and womanhole covers as entrepreneurial
birth control options. And then it began to pour rain. Bite Me Elmo guided
all thru the emplacement of organic Frankenstein shoe covers – which forced
the pack to move like Suzanne Sommers on a thigh master video (not quite
the free porn advertised) which Dumb-n-Dumber enjoyed. Suddenly it got
darker, and it thundered and there was great lightening and Hey Ho was
alone because Oregon Grinder, Poodle, Twatsup, Cum Quefadore and Bad Dog
all left him. And he was cold and tired and there were wolves chasing him.
(All right. Calm Down, HH will drink for whining.) Long story short,
the only person HH saw on the third part of trail was Tipper, so it was
assumed everyone ran to on-in and was happy to do so—except Betty Crotcher
who decided to take advantage of the pouring rain to scrub vice sweep trail
making it into the Circle just in time to enjoy not 1, not 2, but 10 hare
down-downs!!
CircleAntics
Visitor:
LAA-LAA from Fort Use-less, we mean Eustis H3.
Virgin:
Apparently due to the threatening weather, only one virgin was brave
enough to try out the hash this week. However, we salute the brave Just
Joe “Trick Dick” and Watergate who made him cum!
Analverseries:
Asstroturf and TurkeyTimer joined the ranks of the 25-run mug members,
and No Genitals wins this week’s award for Having No Apparent Life for
run #200.
Where Ya Been???
For Sale or Rent, Looney, Bad Dog, and DryCock were the long time no
seers that took time out of their busy schedule’s to show up to the hash.
Violations
No Genitals for not just racing a 15k but cumming in 2nd
Big Dick No Brains for autohashing his own trail (cuz he couldn’t stay
up with 4 hot & wet harrieties)
Mr. Softie, Number 2, RoadWhore, and Great Balls of Fire for doing
their part to help ease the drought even though it was pouring outside.
Burning Bush and Organ Grinder for swinging on trail (where was I??)
Walkers who autohashed (your walkers…geez!) There were too damn many
to count
VAM for promising she would run and ending up with the autohashers
WOWO and Test Tube Baby for leaving certain articles of clothing at
Oregon Grinders after the full mOOn.
DA BOOBS, Prison Prom Queen, Oregon Grinder, Poodle, TwatsUp, CumQuefaDore,
and Bad Dog all owe Hash Cash for late sign-in etiquette violations. Late
is bad enough, but at least you could try to bribe her with a beer and
snacks since she misses out when she has to do the hash cash thing!!
(Major Hint here for repeat offenders!)
Hashit:
The incumbent Great Balls of Fire was immediately re-nominated for
his poor taste in headwear. Shellacking The Bishop was nominated because
his rubber burst on trail. However, It was decided that $50 Bitch should
receive the honor for not helping hashers in need. A few moments later,
she lost the award when Big Dick No Brains, committed a horrible offense,
knocking over a full pitcher of beer in the middle of Swing Low.
No worries mates, for LAA-LAA assumed the position and slurped it all
up!
All-a-lie for Hash #822:
Brew crew team of Cum Scout and Jack Off ran over the E-bunny on Easter
with Shitty!!
On-In:
Marydonna!
Songmeister VAM proved to all that she could quit her day job and still
be employed using her oral talents.
Watergate, Target Practice and Designer Bush to the background of ‘I
Want To Feel You’ made the ‘ladies’ of free porn look like amateurs as
they too demonstrated various laws of physics when bodies are set in motion.
(Hubba-Hubba!)
Guys…I don’t think the entertainment factor is the same as what was
recorded above!!
Hare Splits:
Dear Hare Splits,
How do I go about submitting questions for your column?
Pondering
Dear Pondering,
Good Question! Simply find Hey Ho or Twig, submit your question, and pow!!
Your question could be in the next Trash. We encourage you to submit, partly
because we are interested, but mostly we want to spend less time being
creative and making up questions, and more time drinking beer and getting
cheap feels and on-in’s. So see a scribe today!
- Hare Splits
Other Kewl Stuff to Know:
Photographic Evidence CD Vol One is on sale. Over 1,500 photos from
a
12-pack of hashes, Pre-Lude, Red Dress Run, Holiday party, and Full
mOOn for the cost of $3. See the Haberdashers - Ivy Licker or Mother’s
Lay
What U will be Doing for the next few Sunday afternOOns:
#823 Sunday April 14: PIO, CumScout, ClosetSlut (Alexandria)
#824 Sunday April 21: $50 Bitch, AndHowsHerBush (NW DC)
#825 Sunday April 28: Ivy Licker (Spingfield)
#826 Sunday May 5: Trouser Snake, Golden Showers (Crystal
City - RedCross and/or Mile High Club Hash)
COME JOIN THE ZAGREB H3 FOR A CRUISE ON CROATIA'S LOVELY DALMATIAN
COAST
Dates: Friday 21st June until Saturday 29th June 2002 (with an optional
Saturday pre-boarding registration in Split). For more Information and
registration form, go to:
http://xjh3.tripod.com/Zagreb_Hash/id14.html
or see Semen on the Pew.
Summer camping trip is around the corner tentatively scheduled for July
19-21. First off, make sure you take Monday, July 22 off from work.
Second: put on your thinking caps and see if you can cum up with
the winning theme for this year’s camping trip. Third: before
you lose your theme idea, find a member of mis-management, tell them your
theme idea and then quickly flash ‘em so they won’t forget that to see
more remember ______________! Previous themes were Band Camp and
Bible Camp!!
WH4, Edition 033102,
Hash Trash
“All the Shit that Fits”
(202) PUD-JAM0 and
(202) 232-HASH WWW.DCHASHING.ORG/WH4
1st Award Hash Shit
2nd Award Hash Shit