Hash # 784, The Old School Ghetto Hash

Start: An alley near Farragut Square, DC

Hares: Da Notorious Virgin Avec Mary, Beer Slut, DJ MotherFuckin SuxItBlue, Mothers Lay

[Editor’s note: The following is a transcript from a remedial class given to the hares after the last hash by special ed teacher, Short Bus Bitch.]

SB²: Okay class, the reason you are here is because you failed miserably on your team assignment. I haven’t seen a WH4 trail this bad since Maj. Disappointment set the Marine Corp Birthday hash.

SuxItBlue: Yo, Bitch! Why u b throwin dis salt in my game? I got mackin style and I b settin one DOPE ass trail! U betta chill the fuck out fo I bust a 9 in yo ass!

VAM: Yeah, Bitch, u betta recognize! We from da ol’ school!

SB²: Well, apparently you didn’t learn anything in the ol’ school because you are here now. So, why don’t we start today with a nice sing along. What song do you want to sing?

Hares [singing]:

I was gonna buy flour,

But I got high!

I was gonna lay trail,

But I got high!

SB²: Ok! Enough of that! Beer Slut, you got an F in geography. What do you have to say about your pathetic map reading skills?

Beer Slut: Yo! Dat wus a mo fo poofter white boy’s hood. I ain’t about that wacked shit!

SB²: Ok, I will give you a chance to redeem yourself. Can you tell me what is the Capital of Idaho?

VAM: Shit, U ain’t no ho! I DA HO, Bitch!

SB²: Mother’s Lay, what do you have to say about your performance on Monday?

Mo’Lay: This is absolutely preposterous! I am utterly incognizant of the rationale for my inclusion in this pedagogical detention!

SIB: Yo, man, he’s Anti-Ghetto!

SB²: Okay, class, who can use the word “hotel” in a sentence for me?

SIB: I gave H2Ho da crabs an da hotel everybody!

SB²: Why don’t we try a little art lesson. Who can draw a hares arrow? Anyone?

Hares: [Blank stares]

SB²: Okay. I can tell this is getting nowhere. It looks like I am going to have to ask questions you Old School Ghetto Boys can identify with. Say you just robbed som jack mo fo with $20 in his wallet. What can you buy wit dat?

SIB: A dime and 2 fo-dy's

Beer Slut: A new pair of Fila's

VAM: Yo mama

Mo’Lay: Who, might I inquire, is Jack?

SB²: Question 2: It's tha end of da monf again and da man is on your jack for da rent. Whaddya do?

SIB: Bust a cap in his ass

Beer Slut: Say, "Shit man, why you all up in ma bidness?"

VAM: Have another kid on welfare.

Mo’Lay: Once again you reference this character Jack of whom I am unaware.

SB²: Ok, now for the final question: You and ya holmes are banging down da block when yall scam da uther mo fo's commin your way. If ya both jacking your hydros, and both yall draw yur gats, which of da following happens:

SIB: Ya check yo colours and let the cop-killers fly

Beer Slut: Shit man, I do'no maff

VAM: Yo mama

Mo’Lay: Jack Kennedy! Jack Nickolas! Jack Parr! Augh! I give up!

SB^2: Ok, Sux It Blue, Beer Slut and VAM, you passed so you can go. Mother’s Lay, you’re going to need further instruction, so I’m going to keep you here for an After School Special.

The Circle:

Virgins:

Just Darryl cum wit Just Mike

Just Naoko cum wit Just Lisa

Just Brad cum wit Sigourney Beaver

Just Steve cum wit Cyclops

Just Nelson cum wit Just Roger

Just Kara cum wit Whistles While He Wanks

Just Dan cum wit his hand

Just Lauren cum wit Just Dan

Just Anka cum wit Thigh Thruster

Just Mike cum wit himsef

Visitors:

Magnetic Muff from Chicago

Just Elva from Barbados

Long Time No See’ers:

Well Hung, Almond Joy, Daddy’s Dick, Dairy Queen, Spurt Plus, Steer’s & Queers, Tastes Like Chalk, Urine View, Vibrator, Whistle While He Wanks, Bull Chip

Anal-verseries:

Fag with the big 100 and WhereDaFuKhawe with the twice as big 200

Violations:

· Ho’s (Sloppy & H2) for cheating on trail

· Holytit! for making people wet

· Jesus, You Need To Calm Down for having a duck fetish

· Just Lisa for doing the pee pee dance

· Put It Out for stopping people from going into a pub when we were lost on trail

· NoMo and Missing Rubber for rollerblading on trail

· Fag for buying himself flowers

· Just Steve for tonguing the cheese jar

· Whistles While he Wanks drank from his shoes (and was tea bagged) for being a Cinderella

Then we had a very solemn occasion…

Just Josh has been hashing with WH4 for about 10 runs. About a month ago, he was the worst f’in beer bitch we ever had. He is in the Navy Jag, he lived in Pakistan for a while and he likes to screw horses. Also, he went to school with former WH4 hasher Roach Motel, and got her drunk and had to carry her home one time, but still didn’t get any action. Name suggestions were Whiskey Dick, Cleaner than a Virgin, Horse’s Ass, Himalayan Hump, Jerk Off Twice, 2^nd Class Semen, but the hash favorite and Just Josh’s name for the rest of eternity is Howdy Fuckin Do Me.

On-On! Ducky