White House Hash House Harriers

For Directions and Information call 202-PUD-JAM0/202-232-HASH

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"In Beer We Trust"

September 16, 2001

In the long history of the world, only a few generations have been granted the role of defending freedom in its hour of maximum danger. I do not shrink from this responsibility--I welcome it. I do not believe that any of us would exchange places with any other people or any other generation. The energy, the faith, the devotion which we bring to this endeavor will light our country and all who serve it--and the glow from that fire can truly light the world. And so, my fellow Americans: ask not what your country can do for you--ask what you can do for your country.

-- Inaugural Address, President John F. Kennedy

 

WH4 Hash # 790

The Power of the Pussy Hash
Start: Horne Point Marina in Annapolis
Hares: Amazon.cum, Designer Bush, For Sale or Rent, Satan, Southern Discomfort, #69, and Spits It Out

A note from your scribe:

I'm not going to try to write a lot of humorous material for the trash this week because the trivial aspects of the hash appear even more trivial as we see families coping with grief and the numbing sadness of loss. We feel proud of the rescue workers, some of them our own, pulling the fallen from the rubble, risking their lives in hopes of finding just one survivor. The rest of us are left to try to channel our outrage and defiance into something meaningful and productive in the coming days.

When you think about it, hashing does embody the best of the human spirit. It exists all over the world because it stands for a free way of life and rejects narrow-minded beliefs that lead to hatred. Yes, it seems trivial to say we are men and women who drink beer and run, sing silly songs, and laugh about things that endear us to each other. But we are also brothers and sisters in the hash. We run, drink and laugh with anyone, from any place in the world, who wants to share the comradery of the trail and the humor of the circle regardless of nationality or religion.

Remember how it all began. A man called A. S. Gispert and a group of English expatriates started in the hash in 1938 in Kuala Lumpur,

Malaysia. They ate lunch together every day at a restaurant called the Selangor Club, and jokingly referred to it as "the hash house." They decided to pass the time by combining the children's games of "Paper Chase" and "Hare and Hounds" with stout draughts of beer, calling their newly formed club the "Hash House Harriers." The club managed 117 runs before the founders went off to fight the invading forces of imperial Japan. It wasn’t until 1946 that the survivors of the first hash reunited, sadly without the founder. Gispert didn’t live to see his creation spread to most countries and to every continent. He was killed in action on Feb. 11, 1942 in the battle of Singapore, as the defending British forces were overrun. As the surviving members of the first hash gathered that day after the war, they sang "Swing Low" to remember fallen friends.

In our own way, every time we run, sing our songs, and drink our down-downs, we celebrate the heroism of the original hashers who went off to war to fight for the freedom to live as civilized men and women. We owe them a debt of gratitude as we carry on the tradition. Some of us will be called on to carry the hashing spirit forward to fields of battle in far parts of the world and perhaps right here at home, defending our nation's towns and cities. We salute them all as we go on-on down the trail ahead.

Sunday's Hash


There was no better way to celebrate life than to head to Annapolis, the land of pleasant living on the Bay, on a beautiful summer day. I had to really crank it up to get there, even on hash time. Puts It Out and Fossil were joint RAs as we met up with the Balmer/Annapolis H3 for a special hashing occasion.

Our hares immediately began tempting us with the prospect of four checks: Bloody Marys, Beer, Iced Pussy Port-au-Cream, and Shrimp Shooters. With all those stops planned, I was expecting an easy tourist trail. I couldn't have been more wrong. The hares did a terrific job in coordinating all of the checks, but they really worked us over. The whole trail might have been seven miles or more and the last leg was a ball-buster. Speaking of balls, Pound69 (with suspiciously red knees, btw), led a group of us over to the hospital to visit I Do Testicles, who examines genitalia for a living. Fortunately for me, she had her head inside a vagina this time, and the diversion turned out to be a shortcut to the on-in.

There were many opportunities for violations along the trail and checks, and all sorts of long-time-no-seers showed up. Among the miscreants, I spotted No. 2 who was thinking of volunteering for active duty again as long as the mission was Operation Infinite Keg. BoloHeadRat said he been asked to support the war effort by not joining up. Even the Army has some standards these days. Diaper is on the way out of the service but it seems like he might be taking on the new profession of "call boy" as he worked his cell phone vigorously on trail. He got really excited from the sex chat, or maybe he was just trembling as we flailed through a poison ivy patch -- anyway it sure smelled like he soiled his diaper. She's Not Heavy She's My Lover and Cums When He's Gone showed up for the first time in ages and somehow tricked Virgin Dave into cumming. Maybe he thought hashing entailed some 3-way action.

YankeeCrank brought his whole nuclear family. SauerCrotch sourly claimed not be his mate, but Lil' Crotch and Lil' Crank had his DNA all over them. Another Deutche Frau caught my eye as the ever-beautiful neue Mutter, Das Beaver ran along with the always alluring RaiseMyTitanic. Goomba whined endlessly about the length of the trail. It appeared that HappyFeets and NoGenitals had an unholy sexual dalliance on trail, or maybe she had a morbid fascination with his hideous case of P.I. Head Nurse complained that her beau, Dr. Pussy Whipped had left her hymen unprotected on trail, while Organ Icer bragged about having a refurbished hymen, ripe for plucking. WOWOÔ was there, freshly shaved and powdered like a young Weimaraner. PIO said that WOWOÔ should drink for screwing up the punch line to a pirate joke six times. Southern Discomfort demonstrated how to swallow the cream shooters, which caused a noticeable rise in the multi-layered clothing of Mother's Lay. Unfuckable couldn't get to first base as usual, not even with minors, and Minnie Brew was violated, or should have been for admiring the size of the scribe's instrument.

I spent some time talking to SpankMe, who transferred into the DC area hashes from Fort Walton Beach. She is a beautiful, blue-eyed blonde from the midwest who fell into the clutches of Evil Jesus, Spinal Tap and Mello4SkinCheese at the circle. Mello spouted forth some Packer propaganda. But with no football on the schedule this week, it's rumored Mello had to switch to the FudgePacker team. SpankMe discussed setting a 5 to 10 inch point spread with Spinal and Jesus. Spinal attempted to beat the spread with a jumbo size vibrating rubber penis that appeared from his shorts. HasherHumper assured all the women that it was not the real thing by a long shot.

For Sale or Rent had to drink alone on her birthday due to Short Bus' unexcused absence. I guess Shorty had to tend to her swollen breast problem. DoMeOnTheBeach celebrated her one year anniversary with hubby.

Well Hung had to drink for outrageously new shoes, and was unrepentant. He's being sent off to Bahrain soon as punishment. Blowin' in the Wind and Blonde Roots finally showed up again at a hash, but she forgot her own name and had to drink. DuckJob and $50Bitch drank for showing up late, claiming they were "training" together. Betty Crotcher found them wandering around, and the three of them spent 90% of trail time at a bar waiting for us to come by.

You know how certain hashers make you laugh when you really need to laugh, and make your day just by being there? Well, Short Bus and Twatsuuuppp!® weren't there, but fortunately Kumsoon and Meatloaf were, and they always give me a big hug when I need one. We all had good day when we needed one, and we ended the hash by singing Swing Low as a solemn hymn.

Virgins - Dave, Patricia, Lisa

Visitors - Oops, forgot to write em down.

Other LongTimeNoSeers - Puss'nBoots, Micochshootsblanks, Target Practice, HornyToad, Donald Dick, Dick is Fine

Analversarians - Fossil - 25, Goomba - 100 (and he finally got his pewter mug)

 

On-In, MiteyTite