ANNOUNCEMENTS

· White House Hash House Harriers Annual Christmas Party is January 22, 1999 at the Eagle’s Nest Club in Alexandria. Live band, dancing, food, beer, and stuff. 200 person limit. Registration is now $50. He whoits, pays more!! Make your checks out to:WH4 and hand them directly (or mail them) to LeaveItInBeaver or ButtPlug (or give it to any mismanager!)

· Have you signed up for the NEW WH4 weekly email? The hareline emailed by the hare raiser will cease in the near future. To prevent disruption of the weekly hareline, subscribe to the ONElist. Send an email to wh4-subscribe@onelist.com Please subscribe using your hash name, not nerd name! To unsubscribe: wh4-unsubscribe@onelist.com or follow the directions on the webpage.

And now an announcement from your friendly Haberdasher:

All ordered sweatclothes will be available at the holiday party on 1/22 (and subsequent runs). If you ordered yours this fall and need them before the party send an email to, richsuzy@patriot.net, and maybe we can hook up. She will not be at the 1/9 and 1/15 hashes. The later orders are not in yet, so you gotta wait til 1/22.

A couple of pairs of sweatpants WITHOUT pockets @ $14

Are for sale as of 1/22 due to a problem with the original order.

We have a very limited number of the VA Interhash 1997 white shorts left. Cost: $1 due to beer spots on them. Wear nice underwear or tye dye them if you are going to get them wet. Hmmm. Medium only.

Don't forget that the White House H3 has other goodies too including luggage tags @ $3, pins (great tie tacks) @ $2, decals @ $1, patches (3 kinds!) @ $3, in addition to turtleneck and long-sleeve t-shirts in navy with beige or beige with navy ($12) and the usual t-shirts ($10). Running shorts, mostly in red (for that little something to wear under your red dress next year -- if you need something, we don't ask) are still available in S, M, L (1 pair), and XL ($12).

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UpComing Runs

Hash #687 Sunday, January 9, 2000@ 3:00 PM
Hares: Tartwheel, Hurly Gurly Mon, Put It In, & In your Dreams

Sunday, January 16, 2000@ 3:00 PM - WH4 Run # 690

Hares: Ivy Licker, Rat's Ass, Battered Woman & Dumb Blonde

Sunday, January 23, 2000@ 3:00 PM - WH4 Run # 691

Post WH4 Xmas Party Hangover (Fat Boys) Run

Hares: Spinal Tap & Hasher Humper

Sunday, January 23, 2000@ 3:00 PM - WH4 Run # 692

Annual Bitchin Run

Hares: Fussy Bitch, $50 Bitch, Steamers Bitch and Barney's Bitch!

Sunday, January 30, 2000@ 3:00 PM - WH4 Run # 693

Hares: Dances with Dildo's and Bolo Head Rat

Y2K January 3, 2000- As witnessed by HurlyGurlyMon.

The first hash of the new Millennium, unless of course the millennium is next year, then it was the first hash of 2000! The “Post New Years Screw Trail—1^st hash of Y2K—Hares: DangeRously Close, Cream in the Middle & a Mystery Hare (Goofy).

The Y2K bug did not cripple the beer supplier, nor did any glitches prevent numerous hashers from hashing. However, the Hares sure did fail to meet hash compliance, which is leading the hounds to the beer stop!

First off, thanks to GreatBallsOfFalls, our Religious advisor, for this hot and sunny day, but wait…shouldn’t it be snowing, for goodness sake it’s winter!

Long-time no-seer, Bobby Longhare, started the hash with the traditional English version of Father Abraham. Then hares described the trail…yes, they did say it would be a short and easy trail! OOPS, did someone make a mistake! Finally WH4 was off on their first trail of the millennium.

ON! ON! The FRB’s took off (nope, have no idea who they were, but suspect Lazy Mutha F*cker, Fire Crotch, Squidly Diddly, Haram Scaram, and Re-Spectacle Testicle). The pack wound up going the wrong way from the start, though, thanks to the mystery hare Goofy and an intelligent one (not so), Perk-A-Set, the pack re-routed itself and found a trail. Suddenly finding himself the FRB, GBOF suggested that we run towards the Mormon Temple--looking for beer, or multiple wives???

As the pack made its way through the streets, several hashers, including Transparent D’s, Blonde Roots, Blowin’ in the Wind, Roach Motel, John Handcock, Tartwheel, Monkey Piss, Pulls it Out, Late Cummer, Ruined it for Dad and MiteyTite were chatting about their New Years Eve parties…hey, here is some irony… all of them got wasted!

A little ways behind the FRB’s were some stragglers bringing up the rear, among them Vibrator, whose dog JJ was celebrating his 11^th birthday by poopin’ in the street. Also was Just Teresa, a virgin hasher, who was recovering from a mile high hangover that she brought back from Colorado. Catching up to the main pack I witnessed Goofy preaching that the shortcut was to the right. Using all my wisdom (NOT), I went left and caught up to Bite Me Elmo, who gave me some suggestions for scribing and who conveniently ratted out KY Belly and Will Work for Dick for sharing a beer on trail. This scribe also learned that Nurse Crotchett busted four ribs during a ski trip to Vail over the holidays (you’re not a Kennedy, are you?). The Nurse signed her discharge papers New Years Eve. In addition, her husband, Pudnocker was very sympathetic. The rest of the pack was there too, including Heat Seeking Moisture Missle, Hawaiian Puke, Dumb Blonde, Whistle While You Wank, Pussy With A Porpoise, Roach Motel, Pudnocker, Squidly Diddly, Jiffy Lube, WhereDaFaKhawe, and The Body, which was once closely organized and thought to be on trail, now was totally dazed, confused, and lost.

Full reverse, the trail made its way back up Quaker Lane. The professional building was in site. Could this be the end of the trail? Could the trail really be a short and sweet run that the hares advertised? Well, as Monkey Piss, with his shirt off raced (yes, racing) passed the start along with Late Cummer, Mitey Tite, (whom were both hot) Blonde Roots, Transparent D’s, Tartwheel, Latin-Anal-ist, Stool Sample, Tastes Like Chalk, Just Steve, and the “I Need a Name” dude, Just Bill.

Continuing through Fairlington, a disgruntled GBOF was gruntled at the site of a leftover Santa Claus lawn ornament, which caused him to spank Bite Me Elmo and to snort uncontrollably. At this point, the trail should of been named “Circles around and around and around and around Fairlington.” Having no clue where trail went Just Monica, MiteyTite, Tastes Like Chalk, WhereDaFaKhawe, Heat Seeking Moisture Missle, and Roach Motel searched high and low for some form of hash. WhereDaFaKhawe decidedly gave up on the search for the beer van among with some others and headed back to the start. Roach Motel provided the hash with its first millennial quote, “This is the dumbest run, but hey, I’m running it!”

Eventually some hash was found, though it turned out to be the walkers trail returning from the beer stop. We quickly found this out as Black Box and her team crested a hill. Black Box reported that the beer stop was some ways down the road and that the van probably dispersed by now. ON! ON! The walkers trail seemed like a good plan. Squidly Diddly ran up behind (he found the beer) and briefed Holiday Ho (Wilkommen zu Hause), Oralgina, Had A Madam, Beastie Bush, and Crackshot about the villainous two mile false trail that Cream in the Middle, Goofy and DangeRously Close set.

At the finish, several sober hashers awaited the arrival of the beer van. The long wait prompted Jiffy Lube (whom just received her certification as a senior-lubing specialist) and Watch Her Blow to chill in the backseat of some convertible. Also, a long-time no-seer, Bad Dog showed his face. He must have been hiding at Burger King, because he showed up with some Pokemon French Fries (maybe we should re-name him Bad Pikachu). Holy Tit and Crackshot were sporting some New Years garb. Re-Spectacle Testicles’ friend ratted him out by telling me that he was checking out some b*tches in the park, and I found out that another alcoholic related incident occurred over the holidays—Keyless Entry fell on some stairs…she blamed it on her own two feet. Finally, Mellow Foreskin Cheese arrived—he was stuck on the NJ turnpike.

The Circle:

The Hares-- DangeRously Close, Cream in the Middle & Goofy all drank, times three. One drink for the first half of the trail, a second drink for the second half, and a third drink for the walker’s trail.

Virgins:

Nerd Name Who Made Them Come Temporary Name

Just Teresa The WWW World Wet Wonder

Just Tara Mike-??? Gone with the Wind

Just Alev HeatSeekingMoistureMissile -Sticky in the Middle

Just Maria HSMM Desiccant

Visitors:

Calling All Colons—Yongsan Kimshee Hash, Seoul, Korea

LongTimeNoSeers:

Squidly Diddly

Holiday Ho

Pudnocker

Nurse Crotchett

Bobby Longhare

Burning Rubbers

Crackshot

Engagement:

A scary phenomenon is happening—Interhash dating!

Had A Madam & Beastie Bush

Barkadildo & Watch it Jiggle are engaged!

In addition, BBT, decided that he would call out other couples to drink that have “potential”, they were: Hurly Gurly Mon & Tartwheel, GBOF & Bite Me Elmo. And of course, when one engaged couple drinks…all engaged couples drink—Lazy Mutha F*cker & Fire Crotch and Stool Sample & The Body were also thrown into the mix.

Naming:

Just Steve was put to his knees as BBT told the story about his wedding to Crackshot and how he told a little too much info to some hashers. As the story goes, he was piercing his condoms with a needle… The name was already pre-selected. So henceforth in the WH4 and the world of hashing, Just Steve shall be known as Burning Rubbers.

Just Bill went through the ritual as well. He said that he is a Network Consultant, his favorite farm animal is a Whale (what happened to sheep?), he’s from Texas, and he is a Cowboy’s fan (they suck!, GO SKINS!) I didn’t quite follow the story, but someone said something about a pig, then the name “Sweats like a Pig” was tossed out, of course, “Squeals like a Pig” quickly followed, the circle went crazy, BBT closed nominations. So henceforth and forever more in the WH4 and the world of hashing, Just Bill shall be known as Squeals Like a Pig.

Anal-versarries:

Haram Scaram – 169 runs

Jimi Hendrix – 69 runs

Well Drilled – 69 runs

Pussy with a Porpoise - ?

Oralgina - ?

WDFK – 125 runs

Violations:

Fire Crotch – New Shoes

Cream in the Middle – New Shoes

Birthdays:

Chicken F*cker

Late Cummer

Pussy with a Porpoise

Hashshit:

Nominees were: DangeRously Close for being the primary Hare; Lazy Mutha F*cker for scooping out the trail on a bike; Whistle While He Wanks, for wearing mismatched shoes, and BBT for wearing cologne to a hash. The winner is…DangeRously Close.

This wonderful, senseless piece of drivel was written by HurlGurlyMon, as guest scribe.