White House Hash House Harriers
For Directions and Information call 202-PUD-JAM0/202-232-HASH
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www.dchashing.org/wh4"In Beer We Trust"
Ocotber 7, 2001
Warning: This paper contains 30 per cent Mellow Anthrax Cheese. May cause violent wretching, carbuncles and oozing hives. Alcohol intensifies this effect.
Hash # 794 - Red Dress Sweat It All Out Hash
Start: Park located at intersection of S. Courthouse Rd and S. 6th Street, in Arlington, VA
Hares: Golden Showers and KYBelly
Around the appointed time, a smaller than usual group of wankers assembled at a park in South Arlington between Columbia Pike and Washington Blvd for the "real" WH4 hash of the day. This was due no doubt to the cumulative effect of five days of debauchery and the wedding of Bite Me Elmo and Great Balls of Fire. The missing included most of mismanagement including both of our scribes (And aren't they doing a great job?) so this former scribe was pressed into service for the day. However, the absence of the regulars was more than made up for by the much larger than usual group of visitors who were still in town for the Red Dress Run. Many of the motley crew was decked out in their stylish Red Dress Run No. 8 T-shirts which they received the day before and most appeared to still feeling the effects of the weekend. Among the group of visitors was F.L.A.B. who was with child and father Moon Man from Hogtown H3 in Toronto, Turd Bird from the Survivor H3 in Pensacola and Doggie Style from the Jhavelin H3 in Tucson, AZ who runs with my godson, Beyond Uranus.
A member of Arlington's Finest greeted the group as they arrived. For a change, he did not cum to bother us, but was there in an effort to protect the children that were playing on the playground equipment since one of our group called 911 to report that somebody at the park had pulled a knife. Of course a couple of hashers were heard
grousing about his presence putting a damper on their beer drinking before the hash. Apparently, not every hasher swallows the liberal line that all is worthwhile if it is done for the children.
Soon, Raise My Titanic and Put It Out called circle up and introduced our four virgins and the hordes of visitors. It was obvious by this time that the weekend was taking its toll and nobody was really up for a very strenuous or challenging run. And the hares delivered. After a quick F'Abe, we were off in a northerly direction on what would be a short romp through the streets into a parking structure being reconstructed that was overlooking Washington Blvd. As we reached the third floor, a panel truck and the beer check appeared. Much to our surprise, it wasn't SSBB, but EDWH3's Beauty Parlor. Oh well, its beer, isn't it? From there the trail wound south for about 10-15 blocks to another beer check, this time with SSBB, across the street from the abode of Big Bang and Snatch Shot and one block from the site of the On On On. From there it was a quick three-block jaunt to a cul-de-sac by the park where we started. All in all, a very good recovery run!
The Circle:
Our RA, PIO, called the circle to order with a toast to the hash This was followed by our hares (Golden Showers and KYBelly) performing downdowns to the tune of Shitty Trail to you...
Virgins:
John – High Balls (Charlotte H30 – Good bid Wienie
Brian – Turd Bird – Little Shit
Thomas– Road Whore - Street Slut
Sandro – Bad Bush – Magic Balls
Visitors: There were so many that I couldn't get all their names, so I just had a beer.
S.N.O.T from Miller Hill H3 in the State of Washington
Doggie Style from Jhavelin H3
Aloha H3
Turd Bird from Survivor H3
F.L.A.B, Moon Man, and Spanks for the Mamories from Hogtown H3
Hartford H3
Boston H3
Jag Off from Boise H3 in Idaho
A crew from Harrisburg-Hershey H3
Just Sunny from Happy Valley in W. Mass
Dick Long from Cowtown H3 in Columbus, OH
Major Lying Bastard from Pikes Peak H3
Mudman from Rochester H3
Hash Presentation:
Garfield on behalf of the GOA2002 Management Committee, presented a "Going to Goa 2002" T-shirt to our GM, Raise My Titanic, and large cucumbers to our Dickheads -- the hares, PIO and Beer Slut. Since one had worn a hat in the circle, all drank again.
Violations:
Snatch Shot and Big Bang for going home and having sex on trail
Virgin Sandro and Just Ilana for corrupting the children by having major sex in the park
Pimp Of Sarajevo, SlipKnot and others for running the Georgetown 10K Sunday morning
After School Special for trying to short cut the trail by using a broken elevator and almost missing the beer check
PIO, 8aPus, and our visitor from Boston for running the walkers trail
Freddie Kruger for going to N. Courthouse and then getting lost on the second half of the trail
Jag Off and Doesn't Miss A Drop for following him
Submission Impossible for improperly fixing her dog Ride Me, since it still has a sexual interest in Maize
Just Diane for bringing wieners for her dog Duncan
Bolo Head Rat for causing an accident on trail
Tiny Thing for wearing a girl's jacket. And if one Tiny Thing drinks…
Spanks for the Mamories for pouring her downdown in a pitcher. And if one Canadian drinks…
Namings: We had two.
(Just) Steve was introduced as an Asian GIrene who is a fast running Motherf*cker. Nominations were CumaKaize, All Po Po Platter, Ying My Wang, UnSexSessful, Toys for Twats, Bunsai and Crouching Drag Queen Hidden Boner. After a series of runoffs among UnSexSessful, Toys for Twats, and Crouching Drag Queen Hidden Boner, henceforth and forever more, he will forever be known in the White House Hash and throughout the world of hashing as Crouching Drag Queen Hidden Boner or just Hidden Boner.
(Just) Sunny is visitor from Happy Valley who "works in a freezer" and lost his virginity on a picnic table. (I just report the facts.) His most embarrassing moment was the Lingerie Hash where he wore a see through thong. Nominations were Tommy's Bitch, Queer as F*ck, Cocksicle, Cum Sucking Gutter Slut, Ice Box Lunch, When Pussy Goes Bad, Ice man Cumethe, Mrs. Balls Fish Dicks, Rippled Nippleskin, and Tommy That’s Not Your Hilfinger. After a series of runoffs among When Pussy Goes Bad, Rippled Nippleskin, Mrs. Balls Fish Dicks and Tommy That’s Not Your Hilfinger, henceforth and forever more, he will forever be known in the White House Hash and throughout the world of hashing as Tommy That’s Not Your Hilfinger.
Hashshit
It's on the road again.
From there, we adjourned to the Cowboy Café for more beer, fun and football. Except for Green Bay losing in the last seconds to Tampa, it was a great day. Diaper, the Bears Still Suck!
ON ON,
Mellow Foreskin Cheese