EXTRA! EXTRA! Read all about it!

WH4 Needs Volunteers for

Y2K mismanagement!!!

Speak with Big Bird Turd

or Wheredafukhawe Today!!

White House Hash House Harriers MisManagement

(Those Responsible for all the Debachery!)

This is the perfect way to show your hash support. People are needed to step forward for Y2K Mis-management. If you are interested in being a member of Year 2000 Mismanage ment see a member of this year's Mis- management. Position De- scriptions are listed BELOW.

The new mis-

management will take over at the annual White House Holiday Party January 22, 2000.

1999 MISMANAGEMENT

In addition to all the fun stuff, there is a lot of hard work and effort that goes into running the hash. These folks put a lot of their personal time into this "volunteer" work and make a concerted effort to be there each week.

· Joint Masters: (General running of the hash - the BIG CHEESES, assist RA with leading the circle, our Public Relations dogs. They are the ones to blame for anything connected with the hash - if it goes wrong it's their fault! Attendance each week is very important.) Bill “Big Bird Turd” Wagner and Pete “Where Da Fuk Hawe” Marceau

· SongMeisters (Attendance each week is mandatory. Lead us in song - whether or not they can actually carry a tune - continually cumming up with new and exciting lyrics, or just faking it!) Mike “Drinks On Me Bud” Kearney

· HashHops (Brew Crew - Responsible for: stocking the BEER, water, soda AND cups - these are real important; driving the van to/from the hash and beer checks; maintaining order at and supply of beer at beer checks and before & after circle; and lastly, care, cleaning and maintenance of the beer van. One member of brew cew is assigned to each week's hash and attendance by that person is mandatory - WE OWE THESE FOLKS A LOT! - TAKE THE TIME TO THANK THEM WHENEVER YOU HAVE A CHANCE!)

Tom “Drop Box” Carney

Eric “Road Kill” Klun

Amy “Vominatrix” Bloom

Judy “Cervix With a Smile” Cunningham

Pete “Number 2” Wilkinson

Bret “Steamer’s Bitch” Schlueter

· HashFlash (Takes photos at each hash - recording all the debauchery for future generations to study and ponder - and is responsible for having the film developed and compiling photoalbums for general hash viewing. Attendance each week is very important.) Chris “Pulls It Out” Kay

· Religious Advisor (The BIG Mouth - Runs the Circle with the help of the JMs - makes the necessary visitor & virgin introductions and decides on any namings each week. Weekly attendance is mandatory.) Andy “Great Balls of Fire” Smythe

· HashCashs (Does Check-in each week - TAKES OUR MONEY - maintains the attendance records spreadsheet and bank account. One Hash Cash should be in attendance at each hash.) Scott “Leave It In Beaver” Curit and Kirstin “Butt Plug” Walcott

· Hare Raiser/HashLash (Tracks down all those nasty hares, provides virgin hare instruction, maintains the electronic mailing list, issues the weekly emails) Jackie “Fussy Bitch” Appleby

· HashScribes (Responsible for the weekly Hash Trash - that means being there! - including writing all the lies and made-up junk contained therein. This also includes the reproduction and distribution of said Trash.) Maria “Bite Me Elmo” Bertacchi, Ginger “DangeRously Close” Higgins, and Bill “Mellow Foreskin Cheese” Wagner

· HasherDasher aka Hash Peddler (gee, where to begin… She is always there to peddle our wares, etc. She is responsible for the inventory ordering, stocking/storage, transporting, and selling of WH4 hash gear, attire and such. Researches new items and Cums up with the designs or solicits designers for each new item. She also maintains the finances for this aspect of the hash.) Suzanne “Hasher Humper” Stephenson

· HashHash (purchases and stocks all the snacks in the beer van - making sure we don't go hungry each week!) Mary “Eat It Raw” Bussler

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ANNOUNCEMENTS

· Black Box has recently updated the Hash Directory. The updated version will ONLY be available electronically. If you want a copy, you can email her at patti.thomas@ost.dot.gov.

· White House Christmas Party – Saturday January 22, 2000; Eagles Club in Alexandria. More info to come!!!

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THIS WEEK'S TRAIL REPORT

- Submitted by Bite Me Elmo

November 14th, 1999 “The Veteran's Day Trail " Hares: Diaper, Drop Box and Ruined It for Dad.

Per usual your scribe has found herself unable to locate her notebook and will do her best to make this up without using any facts whatsoever. But, then this would be different how??

The hash began in beautiful, North Carolina..No. Wait. That’s not quite right. It was south, but we did not get that far south. The hares actually seemed to have their act together, going as far as organizing shuttles from the nearest Metro station (which was not that near) so those without wheels could partake in their weekly dose of foolishness.

The hares announced at the onset that there was no Bad Trail on this trail. Yea. Right. And pigs might fly out of my butt. But they insisted that anywhere there was flour was true trail. So off we went wondering just how lost we were going to become and who would inform our next of kin. Diaper, dressed for combat, barked out orders as we headed towards the construction site. Half the pack followed flour one direction; the other half followed flour the other.

We merely circled the perimeter of the construction site, meeting up with everyone else on the otherside. MightyTight lumbered along leading us towards a railroad yard, where trail went to the right and the left on the tracks. FussyBitch went left, and I followed. It wasn’t bad trail per se, it just sort of petered out. We went left and a train followed us (really!). However, the tracks ended at a river and RuinedItForDad was pointing the pack down the embankment.

Like circus performers, we carefully balanced ourselves on the rocks, as we picked our way under the highway. Diaper did his best drill sergeant routine as we crossed the river (woe to those who were trying to NOT get their feet wet!).

Unfortunately once we crossed the river, about 200 yards later trail went right back across the river, and up a huge hill. Then down a huge hill where FellatioThrow slide down on her butt and into the stickers. Ouch. Or where those prickers?

There were more hills, more streams (DancingWithDildos fell in, much to HoleyTit’s delight. He continued to encourage more women to fall in the water. What a guy!)

And then there was beer. We drank and socialized, then took off. A s the beer stop was closing down, JustGary, FussyBitch, and BadBush pulled in. Just in time to breathe in the fumes of the Beer van.

TeenyWeenyPeeny made a disparaging remark about them missing the beer and then left us in his dust.

At this point I remember nothing of trail so let me talk about people I know were there but don’t recall anything about…Zimboobwe, Rusty Piece, Satan, ShaveMeElmo (we ought to have a muppet character hash), BlazingStraddle,OilofNoLay (with Peaco, or is it Pico?? The dog), DumbBlond, MonkeyPiss, RaiseMyTitanic, MeltsInHerMouth (and her cast), GorillaInOurMidst, LeakyTampon, Goomba, Gus, IchLiebeDich, HairyBuddha, HeatSeekingMoistureMissle (whining about life), MissingLink, Beazer, BarkADildo, WatchitJiggle, StoolSample, JustBill, JustCindy, JiffyLube, PaleRider and his enterage, BullShit, WestVirginiaWoody (wonder if she’s friends with AnalJesus??) GoesDownEasy, GodDamnFlyingSemen, of course, and many others with whom I probably conversed but have no recollection of the conversation, or at this point, what they look like.

The hash ended, as all good hashes must and the circle began.

On-On…Bite Me Elmo

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This week's Circle report:

- Submitted by BiteMeElmo and DangerouslyClose

The rituals were begun when the hares, Diaper, Drop Box, and Ruined It for Dad were brought forth to drink.

Visitors:

Molly/Great Falls

Sarah/Great Falls

MisoHorny/MVH3

Asswipe/MVH3

Whappada Wappada Wappada/MVH3

Roach –Kuala Lampur

LaCockacheata- La Jolla

PuppyNuts –Armenia

AnalJesus –West, ByGod, Virginia

Get-A-Life Club Honorees:

Put It Out 75

WatchIt Jiggle 25

Virgins:

NAME - MADE THEM CUM

Just Kim Cock Spit

Just Togni

Just Chris – by himself

Just Dan

Just Linda

Just Hope

Long Time No See-ers:

A hearty Welcum back to: Cock Spit, Missing Link, Beazer and Beazer’s friend, TrouserSnake, Shave me Elmo,

Namings:

Just Karen worked for Al Gore, and while the best name of all, GoreWhore (submitted by yours truly) was rejected, Tipper Whipper was the moniker Karen received.

Just Colima apparently a volcano was named for her (or perhaps that is the other way around) AND she works for National Geographic’s mapping department nad/or library. Or perhaps that was the other way around. At any rate, Watch her Blow is what she got.

Violations:

Yes. There were some, although I did not write down the names of those who drank. I do recall TasteLikeChalk was turned in for listening to a football game while on trail, and JustKim applied makeup while running.

Hashshit:

No nominations were made because the pinhead (It was either MonkeyPiss or Vominatrix) who had the hashshit did not bring it.

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UPCUMMING RUNS and EVENTS

Sunday, November 28th, Run # 683 Hares: Vibrator

Sunday, December 5th, Run #684 Hares: Deposit In The

Rear and Oralgina. The "George is Dead" Hash.

Sunday, December 12th, Run #685. Hares: Steers &

Queens. Tentatively scheduled to be joint with Over-

The-Hump HHH.

Sunday, December 19th, Run #686 Hares: Hada Madam &

his Elves! 6th Annual Christmas Hash

Sunday, December 26th, Run #687 Hare: Monkey Piss &

Company

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This week's Hash Trash compiled and formatted by

Bite Me Elmo. Remember she who controls the media has the power, so volunteer for Scribe now!! You too can write senseless drivel each week !!