White House Hash House Harriers

ANNOUNCEMENTS

· White House Hash House Harriers Annual Christmas Party is January 22, 1999 at the Eagle’s Nest Club in Alexandria. Live band, dancing, food, beer, and stuff. 200 person limit. Registration is $35 until until January 1, 2000. After the first registration goes up to $50. Make your checks out to:WH4 and hand them directly (or mail them) to LeaveItInBeaver or ButtPlug (or give it to any mismanager!)

· Have you signed up for the NEW WH4 weekly email? The hareline emailed by the hare raiser will cease in the near future. To prevent disruption of the weekly hareline, subscribe to the ONElist. Send an email to wh4-subscribe@onelist.com Please subscribe using your hash name, not nerd name! To unsubscribe: wh4-unsubscribe@onelist.com or follow the directions on the webpage.

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UpComing Runs

Hash #687
Sunday, December 26, 1999@ 3:00 PM
Hares: Monkey Piss Jiffy Lube, Watch Her Blow

Hash #688
Sunday, January 2, 2000@ 3:00 PM
New Years Hash - 1st Hash of Y2K
Hares: DangeRously Close.

Hash #689
Sunday, January 9, 2000@ 3:00 PM
Hares: Tartwheel, Hurly Gurly Mon, Put It In, & In your Dreams

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December 12, 1999 Run:

This run was doomed from the start. A combo Over-The-Hump/White House hash , otherwise known as the “you can’t get there from here” hash was a horrible mix of the gene pool. But, with a song in our hearts we succumbed to the beer of the moment.

Our Hares, DreamBeaver, Steers&Queers, DropBox, ChickenFu**er, and, the guy’s whose-bag-fell-off-the-back-of-the-bag-vehicle (who WAS that hare??) started us at the Franconia-Springfield Metro stop (can you REALLY get there from 95 South?? I couldn’t!).

Trail started out under, then next to, the Franconia Springfield Parkway, always a good place to allow hashers to run. Then a nice little jaunt past the lovely asphalt and cement of many strip malls. FellatioThrow and I determined it was the “Christmas Shopping” hash for a little ways, passed Macy’s, Home Depot, Staples (buy a stapler for the one you love), and many other homogenized stores.

Trail crossed a really reallyreallyreallyreally busy six lane street (NOT the Beltway), past the Robert E. Lee high school where there was a back check 28. Since we can’t count, we went back across the six lane street, where many late cummers, such as JagQueen, DuckJob, and $50Bitch, were able to catch up with the pack. I thought perhaps the “Christmas Shopping” hash was going to become the “Return all your gifts” hash, since we were heading back past all the homogenized stores. Fortunately, trail went left and into a neighborhood back out to the reallyreallyreallyreally busy road and on.

Lessee..trail then went through townhouse hell (affectionately known as “Disneyland” because of its happy sameness). BigBirdTurd, sacrificed himself by running in front of traffic. Barkadildo thought better of it and waited for the light. We crossed over land that has yet to be built on, but will be shortly, and continued over hill and dale. This part of trail is a bit of a blur but I am certain I saw 14 Karat Cock, Captain Titanic, CoffeeTeaorMe, Cyclops, DepositInTheRear, Gorilla in Our Midst, Gus (a recurrent FRB), Hairy Buddha (probably didn’t really see him. I knew he was at the hash, but he short cuts so much know one really sees him on trail), Harepie (long time no see!), HurlyGirlyMon (soon to be a person you should suck up to), In Your Dreams (another long time no seer..he was scamming on some chick), Jiffy Lube, Missed Erections (who is usually an FRB- ‘less she gets lost), and LeisureSuitLarry (how ‘bout Leisure-Suite??Larry)

But I do remember the beer check. For whatever reason, this hasher followed trail, as did Diaper- who has fuzz sprouting from his head, which looped around the beer check. We could see it, but we couldn’t get there from here. We climbed through a hole in the fence and arrived to the beer check, in time to see everyone else take off. Quickly pounding a beer, those of us stragglers took off. There were more stragglers behind us, many of whom were never seen again.

On we continued…to Beulah Rd. Here FullMetalBalls decided that trail ought to cross Beulah so off he went, leaving arrows along the way. JustMelinda, being far wiser than a hasher should be, determined, since this was only her second run, she'd stick to true trail (what a silly girl). The scribe knowing FMB, decided she’d take her chances with the hares and also followed trail.

JagQueen was a beacon of alcohol, standing in the street marking the jello shooter check. Nothing like a shot of protein while on trail! Trail headed down into a wooded area. Of course, forever shortcutting, HolyTit, went the opposite direction.

It was here we slipped-slided away through the woods. JustMelinda left me in her dust. Bullshit made a spectacular dive onto his face – which did wonders for his boyish good looks. Your’s truly also went ker-splat, but not nearly as gracefully as Bullshit (the scribes fall was akin to a bag of wet cement falling). It was here we may have actually encountered garbage stinking, shoe sucking mud. WellDrilled was most pleased with herself that she wears socks as mittens while hashing. Then after wandering through crap like this, she can remove her yucky socks and but on her “mitten” socks. If that is not worthy of a hashshit I don’t know what is!

We ran parallel to the VRE tracks, up some stairs, across a walkway over the tracks, past the Metro turnstiles, and to the roof of the parking garage. The end.

The Circle:

A joint Over The Hump and White House Circle commenced. The Over the Hump Circle was short, sweet and to the point (I love these people!). The White House circle, as usual, was several hours long (people can met, get married, have children, send them to college, and die in a nursing home, in less time than it takes to conduct a White House circle). But this is roughly what happened.

The hares drank; the lone virgin, JustKatherine came out and drank. She blamed the Every Day Is Wednesday hash as her reason for cumming.

More Mug Club Mugs and lanyards were handed out to: Cyclops, BlackBox (??), Wheredafukhawe, TrouserSnake, MissedErections, CaptainTitanic, HairyBuddha, DangerouslyClose, FullMetalBalls, WellDrilled, DumbBLond, ButtPlug, HolyTit, BullShit, RoachMotel, DuckJob, $50Bitch, HurlyGurlyMan, and a whole bunch more people but of course, I got confused and instead drank from my new mug.

Foolish folks like EnergizerBunny, Ican’tBelieveItsNotP*ssy, EasyPieceofA**, and Jesse Rameriz (a Mt. Vernoner) visited us.

We named JustCraig. He is a wind surfing (or perhaps he WAS a windsurfing) teacher. So he was slapped with the name WindBeneathMyWeinie.

There were violations, the hare whose name I never got but whose bag fell off the bag vehicle, HolyTit for being questioned by overzealous Metro Cops, IvyLicker for Autohashing, and JustHope, well, heck, just because.

Hashshit was “won” (and I use this term loosely) by TransparentD’s for being in the middle of a huge huddle of hashers trying to keep warm.

Finally AnalJesus drank for being the last one in (out for about 2 and a half hours- GBOF, FellatioThrow, and BeerSlut were out for slighly less time. Sex on trail is time consuming, donchano).

And that’s all she wrote..

Respectfully submitted, you Wankers, by BiteMeElmo…On On

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This week's Hash Trash compiled and formatted by

Bite Me Elmo.