Date: September 15, 1997
Hares: Hairy Buddha
Location: Univ of Maryland, CP
I arrived on campus around 6:30. No Genitals points to me as I walk up to pay Squid who was collecting money... "You're doing the hash trash.." Of course I try to explain to her that I'm lexically challenged. I proved this by trying to explain to Squid that parking was enforced from 4am to 7pm. Luckily Where The Fuk Are We actually read the sign which was from 7am to 4pm.. Oh well.. The newly renamed Perkaset (formally Sour Wet Bitch) walks up and dressed for the occasion!! With her college sweater and glasses.. Ain't she cute...
Stool Sample and I was noticing as it approached 7pm that there wasn't a big turn out.. Guess it's that Monday thang... Road Kill pulls up on his motocyle wearing his Hells Angles apparel. OK so now we can start. Sure Where The Fuk Are We still didn't know where the Beer Check was... Come to think about where was Hairy Buddha? Where was Had-A-Madman or Watergate?
Spinal Tap starts to call the circle when Watergate shows up.. Coughing and Hacking... Apparently she did one to many? So Spinal Tap and Watergate call the circle to order. They called for virgins.. But.. But
There weren't any.. No virgins.. Lube Job led us with a physically challenged version of Father Abraham.. As she trips over here self and injures her groin. Spinal Tap calls in the hare to the circle.. Hairy Buddha then attempts to explain the trail. I won't even try to translate. But basically 1 beer check .. Etc... etc...
The trail started off with a quick jog by the dorms known as North Hill with a slow walk through Tydings Hall.. The night class students seem indifferent to 40 hashers tromping through their building. We exited out onto the mall... That's McKeldin Mall to you non-Terrapins. We passed the reflecting pool where I spent many of my drunken nights (college days ya know) passing out. One thing was clear.. Everyone wanted to what the he?? FREE was marked all over our trail! Don't these campus students know that it might conflict the with HASH markings! The run proceeded across the mall and somewhere near Hornbake Library.. I'm speculated here since Stool Sample and I shortcut... Campus Alumni ya know.. The trail led us behind good old A.V. Williams building (home of Squidlleys place of work) to a newly paved trail that runs along the backside of the campus. The trail soon led us across a babbling brook(babble babble). Oh that was actually some hashers whining about their shoes are going to get wet. Someone told them to go around the front of campus along side of Route 1... Bad idea.. We ended up looses those them.. The trail winded in and Out of branches uneventfully right to the OOOHHH so splendid BEER CHECK..
ON-ON was called and the pack was off again this time back towards campus. By now it was starting to get pitch black. Stool Sample was bitching that we started to late. He figured out why we did Oops watch out for that tree!! The trail led us through a Louisiana Swamp Romp... and on up to the back of a parking lot. The pack went one way, why Squidlly and I looked at each other.. Laughing out loud "That way takes you up a big ASS Hill." Of course Squid and I went the low road down towards the North Gym. While the rest of the pack headed back out of the campus only to loop around the big ASS hill and back down towards the North.
The pack met back up at North side of the campus CIRCLE.. We were off again towards President Kirwans house.. I was looking forward to seeing his pet dog (Kujo). But the trail led us around towards the adult education center. Were I noticed that Amkneesia was not here.. She must have found a shortcut with Squid. Being a fellow Alumni.. Stool Sample and I follow the pack even though we know the trail is going to circle around the Adult Ed building and back towards the beginning of the hash. All of a sudden Stool Sample was feeling Environmental and decides to contribute his efforts towards bettering of Mother Nature and ducks behind a tree that needed some attention. The pack crosses campus drive and ON-IN towards a parking lot of a church.
Were spotted the OOOHHH so splendid BEER TRUCK and sure enough we spotted Amkneesia she had got lost and flagged down the beer truck.. She must have forgotten her way around... snicker snicker...
It was really to dark to see who else was standing around.. Finally Watergate and Spinal Tap called for us to Circle Up!!! Hairy Buddha was called in to the circle to demonstrate a proper down-down for the virgins and visitors. The circle sang O' why are we wait'in... etc.. etc.. Spinal Tap calls all the virgins into the circle.. Wait there aren't an.. Yes we have one token virgin!! The circle cheers!!
| Name | Who Made Them Come | Temporary Hash Name |
|---|---|---|
| Jeff | Trisha | Pencil Dick |
Pencil Dick did his down-down...
Watergate calls in all the visistors into the circle.
| Name | Who Made Them Come | Temporary Hash Name |
|---|---|---|
| Arttits | herself | |
| Steven | Dave Halingsworth | |
| Dave | himself | Dazed and Confused |
| ButtSuck | himself | |
| Fred | no-one | Blank Round |
Watergate and Spinal award some down-downs:
Squidlley Diddley, Amkneesia, Hairy Buddha and Ich Liebe Dick for being a current UofMD Staff or Student.
Hidden Assets, Bad Dog drank for getting Watergate to Richards VA .. didn't hear the whole story.. Kind of hard to write and drink at the same time.
Late cummers Number Two, SlipKnott and Bad Dog were awarded down-downs as well.
Hash Birthdays were as follows:
Watergate, SlipKnott, Stool Sample, Bad Dog and Tore Ass (which did not show up to the circle.. probably lost somewhere on Route 1).
It was now time for the HASH SHIT Award.. Watergate asks Number Two where the HASH SHIT was?
She then ask for nominations.. Its at home replied Number Two.. Needless to say Number Two retained the HASH SHIT...
Watergate and Spinal Tap call for announcements..
Big Bird Terd (Mr Private Party) asks the circle if anyone has found Watergates panties.. Apparently she lost them at the VA Interhash. The circle broke out in a roar of laughter...
The circle ended with a sweet rendition of "Swing Low" and the hash was off to the On On On at the Sante Fe Café. A good time was had by all.