IN BEER WE TRUST
WHITE HOUSE HASH HOUSE HARRIERS

Location: Pierce Mill, Rock Creek Park, Washington DC

The day was perfect for r*cing and hashing. I was just hoping that I was going to make it through the hash after r*nning the Army 10 Miler that morning. There were a number of other race participants amongst the crowd and included Tidy Bowl, Hawaiian Puke (despite his insistence that he was not at the r*ce and that it was Hard Drive that I had seen), Chappaquickdick, Dose (DCH4) and others whose names I did not catch. Squiddly Diddly was not there and several of us pitched in to collect the $$.

Soon the hash was called to circle up by our Religious Advisor For Life, Ahab, who we haven't seen for months. Lucky for him that he showed up because I was thinking of purging him from the directory. A visitor/long-time-no-seer (?) from Australia who had embezzled thousands of dollars to be able to fly to the US for the hash, Froth Blower, was brought forth to lead us in Father Abraham. He was joined by Grizzle. Froth had completely forgotten how Father Abraham went and was aptly directed by Ahab. The hares were then brought into the circle to explain the trail. There were no confusing directions so there shouldn't have been any confusion on the trail. Yeah right. Who am I kidding when we are talking about a bunch of half-minds.

The pack was pointed in the right direction and confusion reigned as no one could find true trail. Trail went up a slight hill along a creek. On the way For Sale Or Rent's twin sister was seen walking in the opposite direction. I know I would go in the opposite direction if FSOR was my sister. A hare's arrow pointed the group in the direction of the creek and a very steep and large hill. At least 20 wankers thought true trail went up the hill despite the fact that they could not see flour. From the vantage point of the trail above the creek, it was obvious to see that true trail went along the creek and across to the other side. As we came out of the woods several hashers were seen traveling down another trail. These were some of the wankers that decided to go up a hill where there was no trail and included Watergate, Bad Dog, Death March, and Road Map.

Soon we came upon a check near a house and several roads. Hashers went in all of the obvious directions only to find false or no trails. True trail took us back into the woods down a steep hill and back across the creek. Quite a few hashers tried to keep their feet dry by walking across a log but many fell into the creek. Since the creek was shallow and the day was warm, it felt quite nice to get my feet wet.

As several of us crossed the street on the other side of the creek, we were given some helpful or not so helpful directions from two men who were not hashers. They first told us that it was a false trail up the hill and then told us they saw an arrow along the trail. We told them that an arrow was good and then they told us to be careful about the black bear cub that they had seen. During this little tete-a-tete, I saw Bobby Long Hare going off trail down the road. I was tempted to follow him but decided that the woods would prove to be more interesting.

After climbing up a hill again (how my quads survived is beyond me) the pack finally arrived at the beer check. The beer check was located in a cul-de-sac near the Naval Observatory and has been the site of beer checks of previous hashes. I was able to catch up with Stroke Straddle Hurl who had been training for the Marine Corp Marathon but has decided not to r*n it as she hasn't been able to run as much as she would like. :( As we had just hiked through poison ivy, the subject did come up in conversation and Perky had to tell me that the first time she got poison ivy she had thought about me. It is so nice to be in others thoughts. But it would be better if that person was a male but I'll take it anyways.

After a bit if refreshment the pack was off again and .... into the woods. There were more woods, water and hills but it wasn't much different than the first part of the trail. Finally we made it back to Pierce Mill and more beer. It certainly proved to be a short trail and was much appreciated by quite a few of us.

After some time of imbibing in beer, eating cookies and chips and catching up with folks that we haven't seen in a while, the group was called to circle up. The hares, Mr Magoo, Froth Blower, Grizzle, were brought forth to demonstrate a proper down-down for our virgins:

Tom was given two beers for his down-down since he asked Watergate to top him off. He was then joined by Officer And A Redneck and Freddy Does Teacher as neither told him he shouldn't wear a hat in the circle. Plus they were being obnoxious.

We then had all of our visitors drink. Many of them were in town for S'Not's and Ukhugh's wedding and they included Death March, Froth Blower, Cums In Chunks (Pikes Peak), Violet (Jarkata), Lunatits (Jarkata), Dr. Bimbo, Dose (DCH4), Capt Crunch (DCH4), Pecks (Almaty Kz H3), Capo (Jacksonville), Melanie (N. Wilshire). Suzanne (West Chester NY), Magnetic Muff (Chicago), and Bottom Feeder (Richmond). There were many others but I was unable to catch their name.

Next we had all of our long-time-no-seers drink and they included Ahab, Cums In Chunks, Body Shots, Death March (how can he be a visitor AND a long-time-no-seer?), Eat Me For Breakfast, Cory, Ukhugh, S'Not, Cradle Snatcher, and Side Entrance. There was a hasher in the group who is striving to move to WVa. He was caught talking on a cell phone before the hash and one of his buddy's said that he was talking with his girlfriend but he was also on the phone with his mother. So Officer And A Redneck had to drink (it seems that at least part of his name is accurate).

There were two hashers who have no life and received White House Hash mugs for their longevity - No Genitals with 100 runs and Bundling Board with 200 runs. Watergate tried to confuse us by giving each of us the wrong mug but I was quicker than she thought and BB and I switched mugs.

We have two hashers that were tired of being alone and hashing as a single and wanted to hash as a couple so they decided to get married. So our Religious Advisor, Cyclops, blessed S'Not and Ukhugh with holy beer and made them drink. We had another solemn occasion - A NAMING. There were several interesting stories about Cindy Elmore - and I suspect with a little more time we would have heard many more - one which entailed her getting poison ivy on some very private parts from someone's couch and the other as to how she got a hooker fired in Seoul, Korea. But the story (short that it was) that led to here naming is the fact that she is good at missile defense. So henceforth and forever more, she shall be known as

Now during all of these goings on, unbeknownst to the group, the cops showed up and shut us down and we were only left with the beer in our hands and the little beer that we had for the circle. So that brought us to our last down-down - the hash shit. The nominations were (i) S'Not and Ukhugh for being too damn happy and (ii) Ukhugh for marrying S'Not. And the winner was .... Ukhugh. However, she made S'Not drink out of the plunger. Looks like a match made in heaven or S'Not will be totally under Ukhugh's thumb. The pack then proceeded to Pizzeria Uno's for pizza and beer after we sung a few verses of Swing Low.

On On, No Genitals

White House Mis-Management We are always looking for new bodies and ideas for mis-management. There will be a number of new positions open when the new mis-management takes over at the X-Mas party in January. The mast head lists all of the positions and who currently holds them. If you have an interest in becoming a part of mis-management see any of us. Some of you may not realize what we do and so I will be explaining a position or two each week in the hash trash.

Hash Cash - Collects $$ at the hashes and disperses funds for beer and food. Also keeps track of all the half-minds in the group and how many hashes they have run with us. Requires honesty and a good head for numbers

Hash Hash - Makes sure the beer van is properly stocked with the goodies for the end of the hash. Helps to have an idea how much a crowd could eat and then give them half of that and requires/helps to be a member of a discount warehouse such as BJ's.

Receding Hareline

***MARINE CORPS MARATHON - SUNDAY OCT. 26 at 8:30 AM***
"PHOTO OP..."
Last year we started the tradition of having a Hash group (grope) picture at the Marine Corps War Memorial - Iwo Jima Statue before the start of the marathon. We will meet at 8:00 AM and let the cameras flash at 8:10-8:15! Then you can watch the start, view the race at various vantage points and then go have a beer at the 18 mile beer check.

It would be great to have the marathoners, pacers, beer checkers, friends, girl friends, boy friends, wives, husbands, neighbors, dogs, and cats in the same picture! This is one way to get all of your smiling faces in various DC Hash's home pages.

"HASH BEER CHECK"
For the smarter folks who aren't running, why not meet up at Mile #18 on the course for the Annual WH4 USMC Marathon Beer Check? This is located on the bridge over the Tidal Basin before the Jefferson Memorial. before the runners enter Haines Point. Help hand out beer/water/orange wedges to the marathoners.

Events

Mt Vernon Halloween Run October 25 Mares: Stained Sheets. Ragin Cajun, Black Box, Blank Check, and Rut Ro
Time: 5:00 PM
Start: McLean VFW on Old Dominion Dr
Costume run followed by a party with pizza, beer, music and dancing, beer and more beer
Cost: $10
Wear your most bizarre, appealing or outrageous costumes to shock the wealthy neighbors of McLean. Prizes will be awarded for the best costumes including the best costume representing your hash name.

Nassau Hash Cruise; November 13-16; contact John "Babe Thruster" Richards at 334-471-2629, bthrust@concentric.net, http://www.concentric.net/~bthrust/nassau97.htm

Wagner Brothers Party; November 15; Herb's Restaurant in Dupont Circle, DC.

White House Hash X-Mas party and 569th; January 1998; details to follow

New Orleans H3 Mardi Gras Hash; February 20-24; contact Ellen "Head First" Berthelot at 504-566-5180 or ellen_c_berthelot@ccmepus.mobil.com; or Linda "Gooey Blow" Crozier at 504-394-4126 or linda.t.crozier@us.nalexx.infonet.com

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