Date: October 26, 1997
Hares: Rude Boy and (supposedly) Next Week
Location: Iwo Jima Memorial
It was a dark and stormy night... well, an overcast and drizzly day, at least. For those of you who did this run last year, when the weather was typical Indian summerlike, you may remember that there were about 60 happy-go-lucky Hashers gathered at the statue for the post-marathon Hash hosted by Rude Boy. This year, due undoubtedly to the somewhat miserable weather, difficulties in getting within a mile of the area due to all the streets being blocked off and the sidewalks clogged with weary people in aluminum ponchos, and an urgent need to see the Redskins once again take it up the ass from yet another inferior team, a total of 12 people showed up.
Having seen flour on the sidewalk about two hours earlier, and knowing that it would mostly be washed away, I was not surprised to see RB come down the slope carrying a bag of flour and saying that he had been re-setting part of the trail. We put our collective much maligned 1/2-brains together and came up with the following conclusions:
After a couple of choruses of "hell no, we won't go", the final result was the decision to accept RB's alternate suggestion of running a live hare trail directly to the Quarter Deck. After wasting about 30 seconds in my excellent version of Father Abraham, we gave the hare a 20 second head start (Head? Who said "Head"? I'll take some of that, yada, yada, yada). The pack was held up for a while by the squad of marines who had been delegated to remove some of the fencing, probably to make sure we didn't steal it, but the front walkers were able to keep the Hare in sight as he sped up the hill. Some of the checks could have been confusing if we hadn't known where we were going, but as it turns out everyone stayed on true trail. After an exhausting eight minutes, we reached our goal.
Waiting for us in the parking lot was the Blue Barge (see, Micro Hash, someone actually reads your stuff), complete with Road Kill and Hurls From The Crypt. However, since we had been sternly warned not to do the circle in the QD parking lot again (something about losing their liquor license, etc), and based on the small crowd, it was decided to go on in and use QD beer for the circle. This was unfortunate, since the Brew Crew had gone to no small amount of effort to perform their duties, but it couldn't be helped. About this time we were joined by three more WH4 folks who had arrived late but somehow managed to follow the extremely complicated trail.
Upon making our way downstairs, we located quite a few other people who had the good sense to forgo the Hash entirely and come immediately to the end. After a few minutes to get signed in (Squiddly Diddly managed to hang around long enough for that before he headed home to get over his hang, or something like that), have a few beers, change into dry clothes, and listen to marathon war stories, Cyclops called the circle to order and we began the important part of the day. For some reason, the marathoners were invited to do their Down-Downs first, so Temporary Relief, Cums on a Hog, Stinky, Doesn't Have One, Tweedle Me, and some other person did their duty by instructing the novitiates in the fine art of the D-D. It might be noted that at this time all of the marathoners were from out of town. Tweedle Me from Connecticut, and the others from the Carolina Trash. Fortunately the guy who dumped Watergate on her cocycx at Virginia's InterHash didn't show, so no one was injured.
Then RB and Next Week (who was non-committal when asked how much haring he had actually done) were suitably rewarded for such a fine trail. When it came time for visitors and virgins, the usual suspects were rounded up (see the list of marathoners), along with Kim, Pearl Necklace, Deep Stroke, and a couple of other nondescripts. We also celibated the birthdays of Oval Orifice, Rude Boy, and someone else (you're probably getting the idea about now that I wasn't taking notes). We sent Deathmarch back to Afghanistan with a beer to remember us by (1.93 seconds), but Bad Dog had somehow disappeared before we could get him for his new shoes (which were actually christened at the Mt. Vernon run on Saturday, but we won't let a little technicality like that bother us, will we?). Since the smell of the meatballs was starting to permeate our beer-soaked brains, we made the usual announcements, did a quick version of Swing Low, and headed for the food (which consisted of excellent sandwich materials, plus meat balls).
Sometime during the afternoon, Urine View, Goofy, and Chappaquickdick all showed up, looking remarkably well for people who had abused their bodies for several hours. GBOF was also there, but since he only abused his body for 3 hours and 15 seconds, he didn't get any sympathy. No Butts, No Glory and Love Me Tender celebrated their accomplishment by staying upstairs and eating fried food, along with Tick Cock and Jim (another marathoner, from OTH, I think). Just before I left, our Grand Mistress (which was made abundantly clear at the MVH3 Hallowe'en party) appeared, looking very tired, apparently from the long drive and exhaustive search for a parking place. Someone else came in about the same time, but the name escapes me. And lest I forget, Gets Off Easy came into the restaurant about 1430, but he got a better offer and left to go "get warm". Did anyone ever see Hairy Buddha?
One other thing that should be mentioned. For the first time in recorded history, s'Not did not organize the beer check at Miles 18 and 22, but the slack was picked up nicely by about a dozen other Hashers who brought beer, Snickers, bananas, and other healthful things to pass out to the athletes. I think Nocturnal Emissions missed his calling... he's a very aggressive salesman and could probably make a fortune convincing gullible people to take things they don't really want.
Word of warning... just because this Rude Boy trail worked out well, we still need to be wary when he's a Hare. Don't get complacent, because I'm sure he feels he has something to prove.
There are no new announcements, but for the multitude of you who didn't come to this outstanding event and therefore missed out on getting the ReHash, here are things you should know. Please pay special attention to the fact that November 9, 23, and 30 are still bald (i.e., Hareless). I'm sure you know if you've never set a trail, and are therefore overdue, or if it's been more than 8 or 9 months since your last one. Please contact Great Balls of Fire at 703-876-4772, or "droidwh4@aol.com"
Nov.16, Fairfax/Vienna area, with Leisure Suit Larry, Yellow Pants, and Late Cummer as Hares. On-on-on at Patriots' Cafe (sounds like a George Mason U. thing, doesn't it?)
Nov. 13-16, Nassau Hash Cruise. Contact John "Babe Thruster" Richards at 334-471-2629, or "bthrust@concentric.net", or "http://www.concentric.net/~bthrust/nassau97.htm"
Nov.15, Wagner Brothers Fall Bash, Herb's Restaurant at 17th and Mass, NW. See Mellow Foreskin Cheese.
January 1998, WH4 Holiday and 569th Party. Probably the l0th or 17th, details to follow.
Feb. 20-24, 1998. New Orleans H3 Mardi Gras Hash. Contact Ellen "Head First" Berthelot at 504-566-5180, or "ellen_c_berthelot@ccmepus.mobil.com", or Linda "Gooey Blow" Crozier, at 504-394-4126, or "linda.t.crozier@us.nalexx.infonet.com".
AND, we're still looking for new blood (figuratively speaking, of course) for Mismanagement. Please talk to anyone in Mismanagement if you're interested. Probable openings are:
The pay ain't much, but you get to have the fun of planning events that make everyone love you, and you'll get either a great pewter mug or a shirt that will be the envy of all your friends. Such a deal, eh?
On On, Spinal Tap