IN BEER WE TRUST
WHITE HOUSE HASH HOUSE HARRIERS

Location: NIH Metro Station, Bethesda MD

As I was driving to the start of the hash I realized that I had LAST weeks directions. However, I figured that since the NIH campus was on Wisconsin Ave, there must be a sign along the way to direct me to the metro stop. Too bad Armadildo didn't use the same logic as he was late for the start and he was going to pay for it later. While we were waiting for the hash to begin I scrambled to see if the hash trash from the previous week was written. Thankfully, Spinal Tap took the initiative and wrote the trash for the Marine Corpse Hash. I had every intention of getting to hash but after running 26+ miles in the cold and rain I just wanted to go home and have a shower.

Soon the hash was called to order and Shit Hawk The Chicken F*cker, a visiting RA from the West Coast, was brought forth to lead us in Father Abraham. After the nice little warm-up the hares were delivered hence to explain the trail. It was the same old stuff with only one beer check. The pack was off to terrorize the NIH campus, though we didn't stay too long before we went into the neighboring neighborhoods. It was up and down every hill in the area and into sme woods. These woods, though, were unique as it was all bamboo. Can someone tell me why there is so much bamboo in the DC area? As a biologist I know that this plant in not native to the area.

After running some more and traversing through a very muddy ball field, we were at the first beer check. The residents of Bethesda are awfully nice as we took over a residential street drinking beer and we never saw a member of the Bethesda Police force. Several hashers, Blue Balls was amongst them, decided to take off after the beer check early. What do they think this is, the Mt Vernon or Great Falls hash? Hare Stool Sample, though just chuckled as he knew they would be back - as true trail was in the opposite direction and the street we were on was a circle. Sure enough the silly r*cers were back and tried to find true trail. Soon, though, the pack was off and we followed SS back along the trail we first traversed and then to the left to true trail.

It was another nice suburban stroll with the possibility of traversing a stream. However, many of us were smart enough to go along a path and over a tunnel to forgo getting our shoes wet. Along the way, two hashers decided to devastate the area by performing an environmental act, Wet Spot and Wilburr, would certainly have to drink for it later.

Soon we were at the end which took place in the back of a house which was the office of a dentist. However, the bag car was no where to be seen. Not a smart move by the hares as the weather was quite nippy. In the meantime, the beer crew were aptly going out their business serving the motley crew two kinds of beer - your regular piss beer and a dark beer that had the taste of chocolate. It certainly had an interesting flavor but not one that I would regularily imbibe. I had to settly for the piss beer. The bag finally arrived and we could all get warm clothing and the circle was quickly started.

The hares, Stool Sample, SOB, and Christine, were brought forth to demonstrate a proper down-down for all of our Virgins:

Two of the virgins, Donna and Gideon, failed to take there hats off during the down-down and had to drink again. As Gideon didn't feel like drinking his beer he threw most of it on his face. Donna couldn't finish her beer (but at least she tried) and dumped the rest of it on Gideon. Smart move Donna.

There were quite a few Cinderellas in the crowd and included: Nancy, who was joined by Oval Orifice; Janice; Sharon, who was wearing the only pair of shoes she had so her son, Gets Off Easy, drank out of his own nasty shoes for not warning his mom (she was overheard as saying: "I had to wipe his butt, I am not drinking out of his shoes"); and Bad Dog who was a Cinderella last week but didn't drink for it. Finally Bad Dog bought a new pair of shoes. I guess the duct tape was no longer enough to run in.

Long-time-no-seers Sticky Deutshbag and Shit Hawk, drank. They were joined by Cyclops as Ras don't drink alone. The lone auto-hasher, Haley's Cumet, drank for her indescretion. For environmental indescretions, Wet Spot, Wilburr, and virgin Amy, as well as Oreo drank. However, Oreo's owner, Goofy, drank for him instead. Finally the fourth hare, Melissa, decided to make and appearance and drank - as did the other hares, Stool Sample, Christine, and SOB.

But the moment we all were waiting for, the hash shit. The nominees were Hasher Humper for abetting auto-hashing and dropping off Haley's Cumet where other hashers could see and Armadildo for carrying the hash shit award even though he didn't win it last week AND for not being able to find the start of the hash when he works at the NIH. And the hands down winner was Armadildo.

Announcements were made and directions to the On On On were despensed (though Stool Sample was a bit confused and started giving us directions about the hash) and Swing Low was sung. The pack then walked to their cars and went to points elsewhere be it to the On On On or home.

On On, No Genitals

Receding Hareline

Events

Full Moon Hash Friday November 14
Hares: The New Mis-Management: Black Box, Big Bird Turd, Pussy Whipped, Mellow Foreskin Cheese, Screws Everybody, Poop Deck, Mole, and Spinal Tap
Start: Mr. Day's Sports Bar; in alley between L and M Sts and can be accessed by 18th or 19th Sts.
Time: 7 PM
Cost: $10
Bring a flashlight
Directions can be found on the White House H3 homepage

Wagner Brothers Fall Bash Saturday November 15
Where: Herb's Restaurant in Dupont Circle
Time: 8PM
Cost: $5 - includes hors d'oevres and discounted drinks
Info: see Mellow Foreskin Cheese (Bill Wagner)

Baltimore/Annapolis H3 500th Trail November 23
Time: 2 PM
Start: NSA parking lot at the intersection of the Baltimore-Washington Parkway and MD Route 32
Cost: $25
On On On: Blob's Park Octoberfest Hall
Info: Dimpled Balls - david.osgood@osd.pentagon.mil - he has noted that he has a .mil domain and they scan for certain word so make your emails count!

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