Date: 30 November 1997
Hares: Ragin' Cajun, Oval Orifice and Worm
Location: South Lakes High School, Reston, VA.
It was one of those nasty days that makes you just want to stay home and sleep. Being the die-hard hasher that I am, I schleped my lazy butt out of the house through the 495/395/95 Mixing Bowl and headed out to Reston (aka Bumfuk, VA). What is it with RAGIN' CAJUN setting his annual Reston hashes while it's pouring rain? I think he needs to be renamed RAININ' CAJUN. I was surprised to see that many wankers milling around South Lakes High School parking lot when I arrived. What really impressed me was BUNDLING BOARD had decided to make the trip all the way from Silver Spring, MD. Heck, KEEPER OF THE BOX even made the hash all the way from North Carolina! PECS was looking mighty chipper, I envy those married people getting laid all the time. We still hadn't gotten rid of WORM yet but he assured me he had a 7pm flight and would be out of our country soon as he placed flour all over my face (btw, rumors that WORM had his tongue down my throat at the previous days hash are false! An exaggeration at least). OVAL ORIFICE was sporting a new hair color - more on this later. BURNT SOX was sporting his ugly Baltimore-Annapolis H3 500th hat.
WATERGATE soon called the hash to attention and asked TICK COCK to lead us in Father Abraham since he always shows up as a fashion statement. The hares explained that circles where checks, Xs were false trails (claiming there was only one), one beer check and that they had made the trail short due to the downpour - NOT! Well, they had us fooled for a little while, at least.
Off the pack went behind the high school. GREAT BALLS OF FIRE was off like a bat out of hell. BURNT SOX blew past me yelling "You run like you have breast!" I think he's just jealous that I look better in a red dress. We milled around a bit then a member of the pack soon found flour on one of the many paved paths through Reston.
The line the hares told about only one false and a short trail was completely untrue. Never trust a hare. A few of us took the "stay with a hare" approach after a while to avoid r*nning as much. I must say that I was one of these members since my shins were acting up on me that day. For some odd reason, I couldn't seem to shake the pain until... Read on.
Suddenly we were at an unmarked check. We assumed it was okay since OVAL ORIFICE was with us. She confessed she couldn't remember where the trail went, the blond hair was starting to kick in! we decided to follow her anyway and were lucky cause the next thing we knew we were at the Beer Check!
The pack was raving about the dark beer being served by WHEREDAFUKRWE. After a short period, I gave into temptation and had a small amount of the honey porter. It was most delicious! As the pack was headed back on trail, BLACK BOX and her band of walkers were cumming in. I decided to hit trail again running. Funny how my aching shins suddenly disappeared after drinking beer!
Off through the golf course the hashers went. Luckily it was an ugly day or else we would have pissed off many a golfers. ORALGINA inquired about the extremely large green turds in the middle of the path. We realized they were geese turds and pictured those geese laughing at humans dodging the sh*t. Suddenly we were shortcutting though a very familiar neighberhood - CAJUN's Place. ON IN was spotted and we knew we were done for the day.
JUICY was manning the mulled cider station while EAT IT RAW and SPITS IT OUT put out other goodies like Oreos and Lemon Cookies (not to mention the BREW CREW manning the beer truck). I introduced myself to VIRGIN MIKE who had read about us in the Washington Post, found my webpage for directions and showed up (call me a sleaze but I just love it when cute guys look at me online; for fre I might add!).
The circle was then called to order by CYCLOPS and WATERGATE. The hares did their appropriate down-downs. Religious Advisor, CYCLOPS, was appropriately punished for the aweful weather. We called in our virgins for the day:
| Virgin | Who Made Them Come | Temporary Name |
|---|---|---|
| Sarah Beth | Keeper of the Box | Kept Box |
| Jenny | Philip | Size Matters |
| Mike | Previous Experience | Virgin |
Next we called in our visitors:
| Visitor | Hash |
|---|---|
| Worm | West London H3 |
| Crash Test Dummy | Tacoma H3 |
| Elizabeth | Late virgin! |
We all know that hares don't drink alone so OO and CAJUN joined in. VIRGIN ELIZABETH really deserved a Cinderella downtown out of her shiny KISS boots. DRINKS ON ME, BUD did a returner down-down for cumming back from his worldly travels. He like the first one so much he had to drink another one for forgetting to remove his hat. BAD DOG was presented a shirt from HASHER HUMPER and SPINAL TAP.
We called our violator into the circle. The only one we had was PAM SAPYTA for her quotes in Friday's Washington Post article. This lead to hashit nominations:
| Nominee | Stupid Act |
|---|---|
| Watergate | Media Slut |
| Jimi Hendrix | Not knowing why he has the hashit |
| Drinks On Me, Bud | No Present for the GM |
The overwhelming favorite was the slut. Oops, I mean media slut, WATERGATE! We were in such a hurry to get out of the rain that we almost forgot to sing Swing Low; CYCLOPS didn't let us get away with it though. We were then off to Lakeside Inn for beer and food.
On ON! - Pay Per View
Q: What do you get when you cross a hasher with a Jehovah's Witness?
A: Somebody who knocks at your door at 8am offering you a beer!
December 14- Bundling Board and Cums on a Wimp. Bethesda.
December21 - Annual Xmas Hash. Start in front of the National Xmas Tree at the White House. Hare are Had-a-Madam and Santas Helpers.
The White House H3 569th Weekend and Holiday Party January 16-18 - See Pay Per View For flyers and registration forms!
Friday, Jan.16th: Pub crawl. Place, time, cost to be announced. (Probably Old Town Alexandria and pay as you go but you didn't hear that from me).
Saturday. Jan 17th. Go hash with Mt Vernon or DC Harriettes and Harriers during the day; Work up an appetite for the WH4 ANNUAL HOLIDAY Party at Forest Glen Ballroom - 7pm! There will be dinner, dancing, down-downs, beer, music provided by the Shrunken Headbangers, beer and much more. Cost is $20 if you pay before January 1st, $30 afterwards. LIMITED TO THE FIRST 200 REGISTRANTS! (see bottom of flyer).
Sunday. Jan 18th. WH4s' 569th! 3pm. Hares will be Cyclops, Pay Per View, Roadkill and other members of mismangement. $3 covers the hash. Start and On-ON-On location TBA.(it'lI be in Silver Spring, MD somewhere - probably around the Forest Glen Metro Station).