IN BEER WE TRUST
WHITE HOUSE HASH HOUSE HARRIERS

It is 1 PM, a week after the Pearl Harbour Day Hash and I still have not written the hash trash. Plus I did not have my notebook with me on trail. Needless to say, some of the happenings on trail have been lost in my memory.

The day did start cool and overcast but thankfully there wasn't any rain as we converged upon the backyard of Hidden Assets' place in anticipation of a shiggy-free hash. I got to the hash immediately before Father Abraham due to the fact that I couldn't follow directions carefully. I, along with Mike, were banging on the door at 208 N Patrick St instead of S Patrick St. Luckily I had decided to walk down the street a bit to see exactly where I was. Soon the pack was called to order and someone was brought forth to lead us in Father Abraham. The hares, with Roxy Moron resplendent in a Samurai hair piece, explained the trail. It was the usual circles are checks, X's are false trails and the promise of two checks: a kamikaze check and your usual beer check. Yeah!

And we were off south on Patrick St where trail was quickly lost by some of the FRB's. We proceeded through a town house complex onto a construction site. Possibly due to the cold weather or the fact that they forgot to use the bathroom before they left for the hash, virgin's Martha and John tucked into porta-john's to take a leak. We meandered amongst residential streets and past a cemetery where we picked up a couple of kids on bikes. They ended up getting bored eventually and stopped following us. It was either that or the fact that they didn't want to cross Rt 1. Which was what the hash did to venture back into Old Town. Trail continued along various byways of cobble-stone streets before we made it to the kamikaze check behind Armand's Pizzeria on King St. The pack was noticeably thinner as quite a few hashers got lost and missed the check. Oh well, their loss. They should remember the old hasher adage of following the hares when they are r*nning with the pack. While hashers enjoyed their beverages, Penetration Denied and Pete were seen walking off to find true trail - or at least that is what most of us thought. Instead they were going for a pee break and made it back to the kamikazes.

As I was starting to get cold, I thought I would start looking for trail. Spits It Out, Bad Dog and Leisure Suit Larry followed me. At one point Bad Dog was an FRB! What a site that was to behold! Needless to say, that didn't last long as I and several others caught up with him. Trail went past the Torpedo Factory to the waterfront and the park. Blue Balls and See Dick Run caught up to us except they were r*nning in the opposite direction. We told them where the kamikaze check was and they took off in hopes of getting there before the beer truck left. Alas they didn't make it and got a lift to the beer check. Which wasn't far from the kamikaze check.

As the temperature was dropping and the wind was feeling mighty cold coming off of the Potomac River, the pack took off in search of trail. When we made it to Washington St, the pack began turning back because they had lost trail. I told Armadildo to follow me as I knew there was a mark at King and Washington and soon others had followed. When the pack found flour again, they continued along the trail. Armadildo and I, though, were tired of hashing and headed straight for the on in. It wasn't too difficult to fmd since it was an A to A trail.

Overall not a bad trail. Back at Hidden Assets place several hashers, including Trouser Snake and Harem Scarem, complained about missing the kamikaze and beer checks and most of the trail. Heck, don't blame the hares because you can't follow trail when a good number of others were able to.

The hash was then called to circle up so that we could serenade the hares; Roxy Moron, Hidden Assets, and Hawaiian Puke. As Roxy Moron was wearing his samurai hat, the hares had to drink again. You would think that would have been a sufficient demonstration for the virgins, but I was filling up many a beer glass while they were being introduced to the hash.

As the annual Army/Navy game had taken place on Saturday and Navy Finally beat Army for the first time in FIVE years, all Army and West Point reps were brought into the circle and included: Pin Prick, Mike, Dave, Ray, #2, and Big Bird Turd. They were then instructed to kneel and sing the Village People Version of "In The Navy" to Great Balls Of Fire, a Naval Academy grad.

We had two special visitors, Cinderellas. Trouser Snake tried to hide in the back of the crowd and behind Blue Balls but to no avail. I was going to make sure that he was going to drink out of those nice new shoes since he usually brags to me how he has been able to avoid it. He was joined by Mike who was wearing some very obnoxious shoes which would be appropriate for the Red Dress Run with their red satin-like material. TS had to drink a second time as he was wearing a hat during his down down.

Next we had nominations for the hash shit award. They included Mike, who ran into a car; Ty, for tripping over a chain on trail; Hidden Assets, because 30 hashers missed both checks; and Stroke Straddle Hurl, for asking Drinks On Me, Bud if guys really enjoy getting head. And the winner was ... Stroke Straddle Hurl. There were two birthday boys amongst us so Drinks On Me, Bud and Hawaiian Puke had to drink. They were joined by the other hares because when one hare drinks, all hares drink.

As we had missed honoring Pin Prick for r*nning the JFK 50 Miler, we did so this evening. Mike, who had difficulty finding the start of the hash, lost his keys and his wallet while on trail and therefore had to drink. As he had given them to someone else to hold, I think that other person should have drank also, and Mike should have drank for finding a poor substitute for a bag.

The hash then sang Swing Low before heading to that fine Irish establishment, Murphy's, for some excellent food and probably cheap beer.

On On, No Genitals

We Need You! The White House Hash is looking for a new Hash Scribe. You don't need to be highly creative just willing to editorialize at will and make sure the trash gets written every week. If you are interested, see anyone in the present mis-management (check out the header on the first page). The next mis-management takeover will occur at the X-Mas party.

Receding Hareline

Events

White House Hash X-Mas Party and 569th - Saturday and Sunday, January 17 & 18, 1998. Forest Glenn Ball Room, Walter Reed Annex. There is a limit of 200 wankers (military regs) so get your $$ in early. Details and registration to follow shortly (White House time). There will also be a holiday pub crawl on Friday January 16.

New Orleans H3 Mardi Gras Hash; February 20-24; contact Ellen "Head First'1 Berthelot at 504-566- 5180 or ellen_c_berthelo~ccmepus.mobil.com; or Linda "Gooey Blow" Crozier at 504-3944126 or linda.t.crozier@us.nalexx. infonet.com

Kuala Lumpur Extravaganza Drinks On Me, Bud is putting together a 3 week package for 25+ hashers to attend the Oktoberfest in Munich and other fun stuff before heading to the Interhash in Malaysia. See DOMB if you are interested.

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