IN BEER WE TRUST
WHITE HOUSE HASH HOUSE HARRIERS

Location: Silver Springs MD

By the time you read this, you have sufficiently recovered from the Holiday party on Saturday night and the 569th running of the White House Hash on Sunday. WOW what a hash weekend, a GREAT time was had by one and all. Pussy Wipped did his undressing thing again, Boston Market catered the affair, the Headbangers did their music thing and lots of Hash Wankers danced their tails off. In addition the mismanagement change over was a moment to thank the old and hope the new can survive.

Now for the 569th, the weather was mild with a little moistness in the ground. We gathered at the Metro Station adjacent to the Holiday Party. A mixed OLD and NEW mismanagement, depending on who was in what position got the hash off early WOW 3:20 and we were off, thank god I got there early for once and didn't miss the start.

The trail wondered along the road and up a hill, I could see Mud Muffin and Gonneria chugging along. As we ran up the hill by the mormon temple we observed 3 wankers riding in a blur truck, what a violation for Gumba, Bad Dog, and Steve Broman: we made them drink later for this awful deed. Fashion sho antics were observed from Tom Foley with his fur collar and Susi Black with her cute outfit. Luci my dog was cited for mud bathing in MANY streams, puddles and other dirty places. The beer van had a hard time keeping up and at the 3 stop was LOST Had a Maddam kept us happy with lots of why don you wait stories. Finall we made it in and began the changing into dry clothes and prepared for the circle.

I am including "A View From The Rear" written by Black Box - See even the rear gets their time in press!!!

View from the Rear:

Well there just may be something to this global warming stuff after all. I mean, here it was another Sunday in January, the sun was shining, and the temperature was in the 40's. The hash Gods were smiling down on us yet again. It was also the occasion of my 100th run with White House, which I made SURE that everyone in mismanagement knew. Hey, it's taken me almost 2-1/2 years to get to this point. I damn sure wanted my mug!

The whole hash was sporting a number of visitors who had cum for the preceding night's annual Christmas Party, and our group was no exception--Loose Seal from Richmond, a friend of Late Cumer's, was there sporting a Big Bird sweatshirt that our own Big Bird repeatedly tried to get. Kiel Bastard, who we haven't seen since the start of football season, decided to show up, assuring me that after the Packers masacre the Broncos he would be regular again. I wasn't sure if he meant with the hash or something more personal. Milk Money also decided to grace us with her presence, having missed the Christmas Party because of a command performance for work. Sure, sure.

When I first approached Had-A-Madam about a short cut, he said that one of the hares would probably accompany the walkers, and that we might not be able to make it to all three beer checks. Three beer checks?! I have a tough enough time with doing one without getting cited for an environmental violation! Of course, as it turned out, the hares all decided to either run or auto hash, so Beasty Bush handed me a map with some hen scrawlings on it that purportedly represented the trail and the site of the beer checks. Being no fool, I immediately turned the map over to Kiel Bastard for safe keeping. That way, if we screwed up on trail, we could blame him. Hey, my mother didn't raise no fool.

Since it was soooo nice out and since we all had a few cobwebs left over from the night before, the walkers, who also included Eat It Raw, CheeseSpread, Spinal Tap, and Just Mary, decided to follow true trail in what turned out to be some pretty familiar territory--I mean didn't we just do this same trail a few weeks ago but going the opposite way? It wasn't long before we came upon the "opera house" at Forest Glen-- the site of the previous night's festivities--just as we saw the pack leaving the first beer check. While most of the walkers felt that this was a great opportunity to catch up with the pack, those wankers and wankerettes from the beer-drinking state of Wisconsin started whining about not stopping to get a beer. I assured them that they could refresh themselves at beer check #2. Of course, I lied, since we never made it to the second beer check. After running down a long hill and under the beltway (yes, walkers do sometimes run if gravity is there to help), we climbed the MOUNTAIN that lead past the Mormon Temple. The trail then turned to the left down another very long, steep street. CheeseSpread mentioned that true trail would probably cum back up the hill and we could short cut by staying on the high ground. We all agreed, and then remembered that we had a map of the trail with us, so we decided to consult it. Of course, staying on the high road meant that we would miss beer check #2, which my bladder and I were all in favor of, and which CheeseSpread finally agreed was the better course to take, since we would have probably arrived too late to get any beer anyway. So we followed the map that lead into a park, where we immediately found the "X" of a BT. Great, we were back in the game again. Just as we wound our way through the park, we saw two of the hares just sitting on a rock in a driveway. Apparently, we had reached the site of the 3rd beer check before the beer van. Of course, when the FRB's started showing up, all the walkers were wiping their mouths saying how good the beer had tasted and too bad these wankers were sooo late as to miss the check. Yeah, right. When the rest of the pack finally caught up, there was still no sign of Big Blue, and it was all Had-A-Madam could do to keep everyone together to wait for it. In fact, I think a few wankers actually took off without awaiting the last of the refreshments, but we won't mention any names will we Blazing Straddle?

After the van finally came, and we all were feeling alot better, we started off again, but this time I checked the number of walkers and we had more than doubled the size of our group. Amazing how 3 beer stops will do that. Working the Bar was one of those who decided that she would rather drink than run, so she and CheeseSpread lead our little group for most of the way until they blew past a hare's arrow pointing to the left. We had to yell to get their attention. Wonder what those two were discussing? The latest hash gossip, no doubt.

After winding our way through a path in the woods, we spotted the Metro station parking lot and the rest of the pack. Another good run.

OBTW, I did get my mug. Pays to advertise.

On On.
Black Box

The hash was called to circle up and we started with the hash anthem. The hares Cyclops, Pay Per View, and Road Kill were brought forth to demonstrate a proper down down for the virgins:

We had several out of town hashers recognized, 3 from the Carolina Trash Easy Lips, Saintley Suds and Bouwinkle; and 2 from the Atlanta Black Sheep Hash Minie Brew and Back Seat Box. We had 2 cinderellas: Karen Sell and Melian a Check guy trying to understand this thing called hashing (I still think he does not understand).

And now for what you have all been waiting for, the hash shit. The nominees were: Wilbur, for lobbying for Drinks On Me Bud (He brought sweet thing bribes) to get the hash shit; Drinks On Me Bud for his Mad Hatter Costume at the party and coveting his neighbors wife - the fine Russian lady, Eat It Raw and Champaigne Charlie for matching hats on honeymoon, Blazing Stradle for early departure from last beer stop. And the winner is Drinks On Me Bud, Mike have a good week Wilbur finally got you good.

Swing Low was sung and the hash retired to the on on on, home, or elsewhere.

On On,
Big Bird Turd

Receding Hareline

WE ARE LOOKING FOR HARES FOR MARCH AND BEYOND. If interested, contact GBOF at 703-876-4772.

Events

New Orleans H3 Mardi Gras Hash - February 20-24; contact Ellen "Head First" Berthelot at 504-566-5180 or ellen_c_berthelot@ccmepus.mobil.com; or Linda "Gooey Blow" Crozier at 504-394-4126 or linda.t.crozier@us.nalexx.infonet.com

Kuala Lumpur Extravaganza - Drinks On Me, Bud is putting together a 3 week package for 25+ hashers to attend the Oktoberfest in Munich and other fun stuff before heading to the Interhash in Malaysia. See DOMB if you are interested.

Daytona Beach H3 Bike Week Hash - February 27 - March 1; $55, not incl accommodation. Contact Mark "Neutered" Acton, 904-788-7185, 904-257-0150, sadsam@n-jcenter.com

Washington DC H4 1000th - May 15-17; details TBA; the hyper anal may contact Kevin Adams 73023.1572@compuserve.com

Interhash '98 - October 2-4; The Mother Hash, Kuala Lumpur H3, hosts; Join hashers from around the world for the 60th Onniversary of Hashing! Contact Rob Stott, +60-3-618-5650; or mail Jo Doraisamy, PO Box 40, Ampang PO, Ampang, Malaysia 68000. Registration Increases Jan 1! Watergate has a cheap ticket for sale.

For Rent
S'Not and Cyclops are looking for a housemate from now until April 1. Possiblity of a longer term lease. Location: 6818 Oregon Ave near Rock Creek Park. They would love to keep the house "in the hash" as it has been the location of a number of hashes. If interested contact Cyclops (Glenn Schoen) at 202-244-7515

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