Date: February 8, 1998
Hares: Cyclops
Location: Woodrow Wilson HS , Tenleytown NW D.C.
We have a MAJOR apologize for the BEER VAN CONFUSION at the February 1 Hash at Sex Education's House. Rude Boy was in fact the guilty party and should have had the beer van there. He has come forward, fallen on his sword, and apologized to Spinal Tap the hash for this severe violation. After much (a beer or two) consideration, we think he should be forgiven. Rude Boy don't do it again. But we want everyone to know that WhereTheFukAreWe was totally innocent, and we apologize to him for our quick judgment. Hopefully all is now GOOD WITH THE HASH.
Get your hash information electronically from the WH4 Receding
Hareline and avoid the PUD JAM0 phone hassle. Contact GBOF via email
droidh4@aol.com to be added to the WH4 electron list (make sure you send him
you email address).
(Note from On-Sec: Don't forget to include keywords
"DROID" or "GBOF" and "WH4" in the address
plus both your full nerd name and hash name in the text!)
Horse Thompson, who was one of the original joint masters in KL (Gispert was Secretary), is convinced that the term "Hashing" was first used in Johor Bahru, Malaysia, in about 1932. Everyone is convinced, though, that 'G' coined the name "Hash House Harriers", in fond reference to the dining hall at the Selangor Club. The date of the first run is in dispute. Magic Hughes' book, "ON ON", says "One early Friday evening, towards the end of 1938, Gispert's persistence finally paid off. He at last managed to convince some of his friends to go out and run on his inaugural paper trail." Other authorities cited in Magic's book say the first run was on a Saturday in February of 1938, and Torch Bennett, another original member, is pretty sure it was in late 1938, probably September. So, you pays your money and you takes your choice.
Last weeks hash started on the soccer field next to Woodrow Wilson HS. Lost His Bit an OLD TIME WH4 hasher led us in our old favorite Father Abraham. We were then off down thru the High School area on a very exciting and partially sometimes confusing hashing afternoon. I have asked several fellow hashers to provide their view of the hash the following info was provided by Black Box and Keyless Entry. NOTE: We all contradict each other on some of the finer points of the circle etc, but that's Hashing. Enjoy the reading.
View From the Rear By BLACK BOX
Can you believe this weather we are having? February and it's sunny and 50 degrees? Wow, the hash gods have really been with us this winter!
I was one of the first to arrive at the hash on Sunday, resplendent in my shocking pink running suit, for which I would "pay" later, and was greeted by hare Cyclops and long-time-no-seer On the Rag. Just as I was parking, I noticed Working the Bar pulling up behind me. She immediately asked if I would carry her car keys for her while we were on trail. Now considering what a NICE car WTB drives, I was pleased that she thought I was so trustworthy as to return them to her. Of course, since we work together, maybe she figured I would have a hard time hiding from her.
Pretty soon, #2 shows up with the beer van. I guess the Brew Crew didn't want a repeat, or is that re-Pete, of last week's missing beer. Anyway, as the wankers were starting to gather, we realized that no one was there to collect money, so WTB suggested that she and I do it--collect money, that is. I guess WTB didn't realize that we couldn't keep whatever we collected. After a while Spits It Out cums hobbling along with the sign-in sheets. It seems that our illustrious Hash Cash, Blazing Straddle, had gone down to Key West to visit her mother (or at least that's what she told her mother) and run in the Key West Red Dress Run (the REAL reason). That's assuming there still is a Key West after last week's storms.
Spinal Tap and Cyclops called the group to order--none too soon for me, as the wind was starting to really whip us around--hmmmm. I mentioned to Crash that I had been there for 45 minutes already and was getting tired of waiting. He told me to get a life. Ahhh, if it were just that easy.
Anyway, after Father Abraham, the pack was sent off to the right and Cyclops accompanied the walkers to the left, across a field and down the hill. Latin Anal-ist and I lead the rather large group of walkers with directions shouted out by Cyclops. Pretty much we wandered through some nice neighborhoods and then headed (did someone say "head"?) up Wisconsin Avenue. Cyclops then directed us across Wisconsin, down a side street, until we came upon a hill overlooking a park. As we made our way to the top of the hill, he announced that the beer check was at the bottom, and sure enough, there was the beer van. We all ran down the hill to partake in the nectar of the gods. And then waited for the pack. And waited. And waited. Trouble with some short cuts is that they can be too short. Oh well, it gave me a chance to check out the magnificent rock that Oralgina was sporting on her left hand. She said that it was Jimi Hendrix's great grandmother's ring, but then corrected herself and said that "now its MINE!" So much for family heirlooms. Hope those two never break up. Is it something in the water? It seems at least half of the hash is engaged; worse yet, to other hashers! Let's see, there's Big Bird Turd and Perk-A-Set, Screws Everybody and Poop Deck, Squiddly Diddly and Keyless Entry, Jimi Hendrix and Oralgina, Perky and Just John, and Little Guinea and Sweet Cheeks. We're already talking about having a Rev. Moon mass wedding hash. Trouble is, if all of these wankers and wankerettes are hares (1) no one will ever agree on a trail [I want a big hash; no, I want a small hash; I want to dress up; no, I want to be comfortable; I want good beer; no, that's too expensive--well you get the picture], and (2) if hares don't pay, the hash is going to lose BIG bucks.
For the last part of the trail, Cyclops gave the walkers the option of doing the trail with the pack, or shortcutting. Toe Job looked at me and said that she hadn't had enough yet [zowie, what a woman!] so we decided to do the full trail. We were joined by Beetlejuice who was carrying his beer and who announced that he might be moving to Houston, this week. Wow. Beetlejuice is the one who introduced Screws Everybody, Sawed Off, and Tongue Tied to the hash. He also came up with "Black Box" during my naming. We will miss you, buddy.
All of the walkers made it to the end within just a few minutes of the pack, and we passed right by our cars, so we were able to stop and get jackets and other warm clothes before the circle. Good job, Cyclops. Of course, since I still had Working the Bar's car keys, she was a little cold during the circle. But that's the price you pay for being fast!
Oh, I've cum to the conclusion that I should stop making announcements in the circle. Last week, when I announced the upcuming full mOOn hash, several of my former friends in the hash loudly pointed out my new shoes. This week when I made an announcement, Bad Dog declared that I looked awfully fashionable, for which I was rewarded with a down down. I told him later that I am ALWAYS fashionable, and that perhaps in the future I should only drink if I'm not wearing a matching outfit--it would save beer! On On. Your fashion statement.
From Way, Way In The Back Of The Pack By KEYLESS ENRTY
The pack had left and there was not a straggler in sight as Squiddley Diddley and I reached the starting point, met up with virgin Mike and began searching for flour. Spits It Out informed us that the pack was 12 minutes out and sent us in the direction of the trail. I said a silent prayer that we would catch up at the beer check.
As we came upon the first check, Squiddley ran left and Mike ran right. But, even as it was apparent that our virgin was on a bad trail, he didn't stop, so I called him back, deciding that it was time to explain the rules of hashing. I instructed him on the meanings of "On-On," "Checking," "Are you" and "Bad Trail." He listened with a furrowed brow, nodded seriously and, having found true trail, we were off again.
At the next check, Mike again took off, leaving us in the dust. Like a runaway freight train, our virgin sped down a hill, oblivious to the fact that there was no flour. I debated whether to inform him that this wasn't a Olympic time trial. We brought him back up the hill, and Squiddley explained one of the nuances of hashing: that one should avoid running a half mile downhill and crossing an intersection if flour hasn't been seen. Again, we found trail. Again, we were off. As we rounded the third check, our virgin hung a right and cried out "checking," quickly recognized he was on a BT, and came back. Maybe he does get it, I hoped. We continued on. Mike found flour and gleefully announced, "On-On!" I smiled with pride. Our boy was learning.
About this time, we looked back to see Missing Link and Tickcock heading up from what had obviously been an error in judgment. "Don't go that way," Link drawled, "its no good." No s**t. We wound through a series of well marked alleys. "On-on!" boomed Squiddley. "On-on!" echoed our virgin with delight.
Somewhere along the way, we lost Link and Tickcock. Squiddley mumbled something about short- cutting, and on approaching a shopping center we came upon Slipknot. Finding trail became an exercise in patience. With only four of us wandering around a busy intersection yelling, "checking," and "are you", and mothers pulling their children close, I began to feel like an idiot. This was an unexpected emotion, as I've always found that one of the greatest pleasures of hashing is seeing the terrified look on the faces of the non-hashing population. The security of the pack was missing. We kept looking. I was getting pissed.
Finally, we picked up trail, and the four of us headed across Wisconsin Ave. But I realized we would never catch up and suggested we head back to the starting point. The sub-pack readily agreed, and we started back. Our virgin took off at four-minute mile pace. As we approached the top of Wisconsin, I suddenly heard whistles. I looked up and saw a group running. I saw the hashshit. It was the pack! We fell into formation.
Back with my kind, I felt the safe, protected familiarity of fifty-some wankers huffing across a field toward the beer truck, the promise of barley and hops on their minds. The rest is history. On-on.
The hash was called to circle up and we started with the hash anthem. The hare Cyclops was brought forth to demonstrate a proper down down for the virgins:
| Name | Who Made Them Come | Temporary Hash Name |
|---|---|---|
| Nathan | Karen | Sunken Fluber |
| Cortney | Milan | Chapaqudick |
| Hardigan | Zen | Hard Aglo |
| Kelley | oys Of Washington ??? | Insearch Of |
| Damian | Lynn | This Is Not Dupont Circle |
| Mike | Squidley & Keyless Entry | Manjig-E-Twa |
| Chicken Liver | Herself (boring) | Chicken Liver |
| Jenn | Some Fussy Bitch | Agnoizes In Bed |
There was a RENAMING of ArmADilDo because of his behavior (VERY
deviant) with a stripper at the 30th B-Day party for Road Kill.
After coming to the center of the circle, he got down on all fours and with
the help of a fine young thing demonstrated the deviant activity to the
gathered masses. Well, after that filthy exhibition the possible re-names
came quickly, they included; 1. Bark A Dil Do, 2. Had A Dil Do, 3. Make Me
Howl, 4. Stripping & Barking, 5. The Armoa Of A Dil Do. And the winner
is:
Hence forth and forever more in the world of hashing and within the White House Hash Arm A Dil Do will known as Bark A Dil Do. Enjoy the howling good times and remember we really lovya guy!!!!
Someone else was either named or remaned, by this time I was confused and
slow on the pen so anyway the possible selecetions were: 1. Crack The
Smile, 2. Doggie Style, 3. Bottoms Up, 4. Breach Baby, 5. Attached At The
Rear. And the winner is:
Whomever you are, I apologize but: Hence forth and forever more in the White House Hash and the world of hashing you will be known as Bottoms Up. May you enjoy it from the bottom up over you hashing life!!!!
We toasted our 30th Birthday Boy Road Kill, who threw one Hell of a part to celebrate the event. All of the getting married crowd came up and drank for the up coming events. We brought forth the long time no sees 1. Lost His Bit, 2. Stroke Me Gently, and 3. On The Rag. They definitely showed us a down-down thing or two. Le Bitchy Pussey drank for her 69th run GOOD show MS BITCHY. There were NO Cinderellas. Late Comer had to drink for blowing so hard she broke it, hey girl could you please come over and explain it for me. Squidley Didley got his 100th mug and drank for that. Our one and only Black Box was cited for being a fashion statement had to perform for the crowd, what a show. And for deeds of badness Some Fussy Bitch was given the title of "She Swallows Faster", Boy did she swallow it all!!!
And now for what you have all been waiting for, the hashit. The nominees were: 1. Bark A Dil Do for no dog tags and sexual pervasion in public, 2. Trowser Snake for hittiong on all of the PYT's, 3. Hidden Assets & Roxy Moron for not hashing but drinking. And the winner is Bark A Dil Do fo the sexual event of the century – barker can you really do it??
The familiar theme of "POTS ON THE GROUND", the SINGING of SWING LOW, and the traditional phrase of "GO IN PIECE" brought the circle to an end.
The ON-ON-ON was at Armand's Chicago Pizzeria. The bill-de-fair included BEER, Salad Bar and Hot Pizza. What more could you ask for. The people were good, the food was good, the beer was cheap but plentiful, and everyone enjoyed themselves. The crowd stayed around until about 8:30 then we all became normal again in anticipation of Hash # 576 the Monica Lewinsky sexual pervasion tromp thru the Vienna Woods.
On On,
Big Bird Turd
#577 February 22; Mister McGoo and A Mystery Hare
#578 March 1; Pay Per View and A Mystery Hare
#579 March 8; Trouser Snake and A Mystery Hare
#560 March 15; St. Patrick's Hash, Eat Me For Breakfast, Black Box, Mellow Foreskin Cheese, &
Thumper Pumper Location Mr. Days Sports Bar
WE ARE LOOKING FOR HARES FOR MARCH 22 AND APRIL AND BEYOND. If interested, contact GBOF at 703-876-4772.
New Orleans H3 Mardi Gras Hash - February 20-24; contact Ellen "Head First" Berthelot at 504-566-5180 or ellen_c_berthelot@ccmepus.mobil.com; or Linda "Gooey Blow" Crozier at 504-394-4126 or linda.t.crozier@us.nalexx.infonet.com
Kuala Lumpur Extravaganza - Drinks On Me, Bud is putting together a 3 week package for 25+ hashers to attend the Oktoberfest in Munich and other fun stuff before heading to the Interhash in Malaysia. See DOMB if you are interested.
Daytona Beach H3 Bike Week Hash - February 27 - March 1; $55, not incl accommodation. Contact Mark "Neutered" Acton, 904-788-7185, 904-257-0150, sadsam@n-jcenter.com
March Full Moon Hash – March 13 at 7:00pm; Pub Crawl via Pussy Wipped
April Full Moon Hash – April 10 at 7:00pm; Missing Link Special
Washington DC H4 1000th – April 25-26: In The Mountains. Staying at Canaan Valley Resort and Conference Center. The run will open for all DCH3 guests. Please sign up so details can be worked out. Rooms $41 single, $47 double. Info 800-622-4121.
Mount Vernon H3 AGM - May 8-10; sketchy details - pub crawl Friday, AGM Hash Saturday, Party Saturday Night, Hangover Hash Sunday. Specific details to follow.
Interhash '98 - October 2-4; The Mother Hash, Kuala Lumpur H3, hosts; Join hashers from around the world for the 60th Anniversary of Hashing! Contact Rob Stott, +60-3-618-5650; or mail Jo Doraisamy, PO Box 40, Ampang PO, Ampang, Malaysia 68000. Registration Increases Jan 1! Watergate has a cheap ticket for sale.