Date: February 15, 1998
Hares: PerkASet, Latin Analyst, Big Bird Turd
Location: Vienna Caboose, Vienna VA
The WH4 Mismanagement and particularly Hasher Humper would like your help. We are in the process of selecting new clothing items, and the decorations on those items, for the upcoming spring and summer season. Time is of an essence and we want your help. Please consider new sayings and logos for the new hash shirts and tank tops. Your creations can be either for the front or the back or both. Work your little brains to their limits and submit your drawings and written descriptions to Hasher Humper at the next hash. We really need you to give us your fresh new ideas so we can better serve you.
| Do you like to drink beer | Miss Higgins | |
|---|---|---|
| Do you like to drink beer, | Come and touch it Miss Higgins. | |
| Do you like to go and run. | It only weighs a quarter of a pound. | |
| Do you like to hang out were they're having all the fun. | It has hair around it's neck like a turkey. | |
| So grab yourself a beer and have a cup of cheer. | And it cums when you jerk it up and down down down | |
| And drink it down, drink it down down down down | down |
Get your hash information electronically from the WH4 Receding Hareline and avoid the PUD JAM0 phone hassle. Contact GBOF via email droidwh4@aol.com to be added to the WH4 electron list (Submit First & Last Name, Your Hash Name [if you have one], and put "GBOF" in the subject line, make sure you send your email address).
Last weeks hash started on a hard stand parking lot near the Vienna Caboose. The pre hash money collecting and sign in was definitely invorigated with Black Box's heart sticking in the most vulnerable male spot. OOOOHHH Black Box do it again and again, you are the best!!! Leisure Suite Larry brought two VERY young hashers, rumor has it that he picked them up in a bar on the way to the hash. Leisure do they drink? It was reported to me that BarkADilDo was BLUSHING when confronted by a PYT wearing a t shirt with the logo "Head Of The Charles", did you sau head, I'll have some of that etc, etc. Bark whats all the lather abou?? After much milling around and renewing old aquaintances, Spinal Tap called us to circle for the pre hash festivities. A long time no see Mister Gumby was called out to lead us in Father Abraham. The hares were then called forward, they explained the ground rules for the day (I thought there were no rules??), which included a walkers trail lead by Latin Analyst, and a somewhat wet trail lead by Big Bird and PerkASet. They were then directed off toward highway 123. Well, guess what, the pack MISSED the first check and were off down an access road, totally LOST IN SPACE. As Lucy was pulling on her leash I was able to put whistle to my mouth blow a hard blast and yell TRUE TRAIL this way. What a sight, 80 LOST wankers lead by Pussy Whipped turning around abruptly with this lost look on their faces. I could tell the best was yet to come. We then proceeded to run over several sections of road separated by checks. At one check Crash went completely off in the wrong direction. Finally we entered Glyndon Park and Chappaquickdick was observer doing almost nothing, what was on your mind boy. Roto (with his dog), Hard Drive and Stained Sheets were trying to find a way out of the park. 0 by the way with the three of them at this hash, I was not sure if this was a Mount Vernon or White House hash? Well our hero Mellow Foreskin Cheese finally stumbled onto the exit from the park, now we were off on our next adventure.
We were again on asphalt, and Fly The Friendly Thighs and here current mate Just Randy we observed road necking, how shameflil. Bavarian Bush was observed keeping the middle of the pack in some form of order. We were back on the road for a short sprin, and then off into the woods
Just after we enter the wooded area we started up a hill and the pack began to spread out, Gumby and Bad Dog were observe resting half way up, are you out of shape guys? The trail then wandered around the other side of the hill, Motel Sex and Late Comer were observed wanking down SLOWLY. Then we wandered upon a vreek with a large tree lying on its side. Some tried some didn't, some were dry some were not. We then ran around another hill and came alongside a creek, at this point PerkASet stumbled and dirtied here pretty running tights. Girl are you ok? We then crossed the creek either the over the lying tree route or by getting wet. About half the group got to experience each way. We then wander along a wooded path and finally wound uo at a creek tunnel with a check. The water was deep and Pussy Whipped didn't care off he was in waist deep water short cutting the trail. A few other foolish members of the gang decieded to follow the Wipper, MISTAKE guys. We ten wandered up the W&OD Trail until a check turned us back into the woods again. Boy was the shiggy good in these woods. After several cuts and scrapes we were back on trail. It consisted of an aspholt affair running for several hundred meters. Finally we were back on the streets and after a short wander we were at the beer stop.
The beer stop was out in the open, could this have been a mistake NO the police came buy and decided to leave us alone, thanks for the fun pigs. As I was standing guard to prevent early departees from the beer check, low and behold two late hashers came wandering upon me, they were none other than our Drinks On Me Bud, and #2, welcome mates better late than never. As I was waiting, what did I see but several deviants trying to leave early I asked them if they thought this was a RACE. Their blank and empty look gave them away, STUPID. Well even with my efforts to halt them, Crash, Pussy Whipped, Fire & Ice, and Tor Ass snuck away like dirty dogs of the night. PEW what a bunch of stinky weenies.
The remainder of the hash was over asphalt with a few turns and jogs. As we reached the center of Vienna, we observed the ON-IN Beer Near markings and we knew the pain was almost over. Finally we could sip the suds for real.
We once again are honored with the special words MS Black Box, enjoy them.
View from the Rear In honor of Valentine's Day, the run was advertised as the Gennifer Flowers/Monica Lewinsky hash, so, of course, I felt a need to cum prepared. I wore my flowered jacket and my flower lays, I mean, leis, which took care of the Gennifer part. For the Monica part, I brought some bright red lip stickers and decided that
the most appropriate place to stick these babies would be where Monica would do it--you got it, right in the middle, between the thighs. Since I was helping Blazing Straddle (The Other Ms. Thomas) with the sign-in, as soon as a wanker handed me his $3, he got a little--which sometimes turned into a big--surprise! Since the stickers sometimes fell off, I had to really press hard to get them on. I had a number of requests for extra stickers. God, I love hashing! Least you worry about me, none of the harriettes were given such a treat, although most enjoyed the rises I got from the wankers in the crowd.
Since it was another beautiful afternoon, the crowd was rather large, and the walking group was no exception. We were lead by one of the hares of the day, Latin Anal-ist. As the pack left the start, they immediately ran the wrong way across Church Street. Big Bird Turd was laughing hysterically, but didn't let them go too far a field before blowing his whistle and calling them back to the check. LA kept us together and had us turn left down true trail, just in front of the pack. Of course, our being out front didn't last long. Just until we got to the next check, and the pack split up, only to be whistled back by BBT; he really loves this stuff. We were able to keep up for awhile--which, of course, is the sign of a good trail--and even ran for a while--but only downhill--when we hit the woods.
About that time, I got to talking to Fussy Bitch, who was sporting a South Park t-shirt. She told me that she had invited some friends over for a South Park marathon--she had gotten a tape from one of her roommates of the South Park episodes that she was going to show. About 30 minutes before everyone was scheduled to arrive, she discovered that she couldn't find the tape. At all. Anywhere. Panic time. Fortunately, she called her friend and virgin hasher, Just Carl, who had recorded several episodes and brought his tape over, so she didn't have to cum up with other entertainment. Hmmm.
Since I was ahead of most of the walkers (did someone say "head?"), I kept turning around to check with LA to make sure we were still on the right track. LA told us to keep going on true trail and that soon there would be a short cut. We got to a checkpoint in the woods, and I stopped the group to find out if this was where the short cut was. Unfortunately, when I turned around to ask LA, she was no where in sight. Apparently she had gotten into some deep conversation with Toy Boy--robbing the craddle are we?--and got behind. When she finally did catch up, she looked at the check, looked straight, looked left, looked right, looked at her map, and said "I THINK we want to turn left here, but don't kill me if I'm wrong." Oh great. We're in the woods with one of the hares, and she doesn't know which way to go! Well, as it turned out, she was right, and we wandered down a nice path, through some muck, up a hill through some thick bushes, and came upon the beer van! Yes! The first to arrive for a change. So we all grabbed something to drink and waited for the pack to show up. First one to arrive was Pussy Whipped accompanied by Circle Jerk. These two were way in front of the rest of the pack, having blown through a BT or two in search of trail. Soon the rest of the pack arrived.
After the beer check, we went back down the hill that the walkers had cum up. Some of us, okay, me, decided that we hadn't had enough excitement so far, so I decided to liven things up by doing a belly flop down the hill. I was helped up by a couple of wankers who graciously brushed off all of the pine needles and dirt from the front of my clothes. They took their time about it, too. Very nice! Thanks.
After that, the rest of the trail was pretty uneventful. I did have the chance to walk with Roto and his new dog, Ellie, who, in true canine fashion, would pull ahead (did someone say "head?") and then stop dead to sniff something. We finally made it to the end, which was the overflow parking lot for GBOF's office, and where the beer van normally resides. Very nice and very private, although I did notice that GBOF had on his work ID, which he said he was wearing just in case the local authorities showed up to give us any problems. Fortunately, that didn't happen.
While we were waiting for the circle to start, Stained Sheets said to Latin Anal-ist, "This was a really good trail. Hard to believe YOU were involved with it." For those of you who may have missed it, LA was a hare on the now legendary Mount Vernon Marathon Trail that went on for over 2 hours last year!! LA and her fellow hares are still banned from haring with MVH3!
During the circle, Blazing Straddle nominated me for hashit for my Monica Lewinsky imltation. She said that I had had too much fun applying the stickers to the private parts of our male hashers. My view, which was also shared by Cyclops, was that such fun was VERY hash-like. Nevertheless, I thought for sure that I was going to be the proud recipient of this prestigious award, when Fussy Bitch came to my rescue by nominating Bad Dog for crashing into her car. Spinal Tap then nominated FB for being herself, and she got it by overwhelming acclaim. Of course, she noted that she was going to Mardi Gras next week, so she would be taking the hashit with her. Just hope she adds some beads to it.
That's all she wrote. On On. Black Box
The hash was called to circle and the hares were called fordward. The hares PerkASet, Latin Analyst, and Big Bird Turd came forth, at which time the age old hash question of "WHAT DID YOU THINK OF THE TRAIL" was asked of the assembled mass, with the familiar answer of "WHAT A SHITTY TRAIL". After which the hares demonstrate a proper down down for the virgins, except that PerkASet was unable to properly down her fluid of the gods and purposfully spilled the excess on the ground - shame on you girl:
| Name | Who Made Them Come | Temporary Hash Name |
|---|---|---|
| Bill | Let Go Of My Ears | Child In The Box |
| Katherine | Let Go Of My Ears | Easy Release |
| OOZING | Himself- Foreign Hasher | OOZING |
| Leon | Let Go Of My Ears | Mike Tyson |
| Ken | Stud Finder | Nailed - aka Bottom Of The Sperm Pool |
| Cheryl | Shrimp On The Barbie | Smells Like Fish |
| JP | Tom - Roller Blades | Tom, Dick, & Harry |
| Susan | I Did All By My Self | Independent Women |
| Laura | Blazing Stradles | Rug Burn |
| Randy | Fly The Friendly Thighs | Welcome To The Club |
| Shwn | PerkASet | On Drugs |
| Eugene | Fuzzy Bitch | Fuzzy Pussy |
There was a NAMING of Tom Foley, and let me tell you this was an event to behold. As Cyclops, Spinal Tap and Big Bird called him into the circle the gathering hushed as this fashion statement with the bare legs came forward in total amazement about the ceremony that was soon to unfold. But very quickly he was tightly fastening his coat in anticipation of the fluid bath that followed the naming ceremony. It took no time for the group to spit forth nominations after Spinal Tap gave us a quick nuclear background on this guy. After that the possible names came quickly, they included; 1. Blows In The Dark, 2. Homer Simpson, 3. Blow Job, 4. Heyman Dick Over, 5. Glow Job, 6. Toxic Wasted, and Gentleman Queerly. And the winner is:
We were fortunate on this night to have several members of the VAST RIGHT WING CONSPIRACY join us to celebrate Monica's day. For this honor we had Chappaquickdick, Mellow Foreskin Cheese, and One Bill Wagner Big Bird Turd, and One Hare PerkASet, and Latin Analyst, and One engage LOTS OF FOLKS all drank in honor of the conspiracy. What a tricky down down. There was also a visit by two brothers, there names are unimportant, what is important is the fact that they LOOKED ALIKE. What a scary thought.
Stradle My Beam from the OTH group was brought forward for new shoe, she drank out of one of the new slippers. Marisa the girl in the flanel shirt also drank for new shoes. At some point in the proceedings, Stained Sheets was overhead saying, "Boy That was a decent hash train, I can't believe that Latin Analyst had anything to do with it. We also heard phrases like "Fair Shiggy" and "0 So Many Water Crossing Decisions". GBOF asked the assembled masses to toast our founder "G" who died in 1942. Jimmy Hendricks had to drink with Oral Genia because he wasn't present for last weeks circle when one engagee drinks all drink, so we did it again and all the soon to be married hashers drank.
And now for what you have all been waiting for, the hashit. BarkADilDo came forward with the instrument of perversion and Spinal Tap asked for nominations. The nominees were: 1. Black Box for having too much fun putting sticky lips on the males genital area, 2. Fuzzy Bitch for complaining and wining about Bad Dog bumping into her new Explorer, and 3. Bad Dog for intentionally bumping into Fuzzy Bitch's Explorer. And the winner is Fuzzy Bitch for all the wining and crap that came forth from her mouth before, during and after the hash (especially at the ON-ON-ON) - Fuzzy you really bumped your way into it this time??
The familiar theme of "POTS ON THE GROUND", the SINGING of SWING LOW, and the traditional phrase of "GO IN PIECE" brought the circle to an end.
The ON-ON-ON was at Outback Steak House. Our thirsty group overwhelmed the establishment. Steel Trap, who did not run the hash but joined us at the ON-ON-ON informed me that the staff kept on asking here when this big GROUP would arrive. When the first few members of out troop arrived Steel Trap politely informed them that all hell was about to break out. Well sure enough, within 15 minutes we had secured the beaches and were well on our way to dominating that establishment for several hours.
on on,
Big Bird Turd
WE ARE LOOKING FOR HARES FOR MARCH 22 AND APRIL AND BEYOND. If interested, contact GBOF at 703-876-4772.
Kuala Lumpur Extravaganza - Drinks On Me, Bud is putting together a 3 week package for 25+ hashers to attend the Oktoberfest in Munich and other fun stuff before heading to the Interhash in Malaysia. See DOMB if you are interested.
Daytona Beach H3 Bike Week Hash - February 27 - March 1; $55, not incl accommodation. Contact Mark "Neutered" Acton, 904-788-7185, 904-257-0150, sadsam@n-jcenter.com
March Full Moon Hash - March 14 SATURDAY NIGHT at 7:00pm; Pub Crawl via Pussy Whipped. Start Location Dupont Circle. April Full Moon Hash - April 10 at 7:00pm; Missing Link Special
Washington DC H4 Weekend In The Mountains - April 25-26: In The Mountains. Staying at Canaan Valley Resort and Conference Center. The run will open for all DCH3 guests. Please sign up so details can be worked out. Rooms $41 single, $47 double. Info: 800-622-4121.
Mount Vernon 113 AGM - May 8-10; sketchy details - pub crawl Friday, AGM Hash Saturday, Paity Saturday Night, Hangover Hash Sunday. Specific details to follow.
Pittsburg H3 800th Run - June 4-7 This should be a hash blowout of the first magnitude. More details to follow.
DC Harriers and Harriets DCH4 1000th Weekend - June 12-14; Location is the Washington D.C. Metro area. All hashers (near & far) are invited to participate in this hashing millennium event. More information on cost, registration, and other hash sh*t to follow. Fri, 12 June - #999 - a Washington ("re) monumental Hash Sat, 13 June - #1000 - country Hash in the Potomac, MD area, Sun 14 June - #1001 - Dalmatian Hash (tentatively planned for inside the Beltway)
WH4 Yearly Pagan Party - Some time in June, this will also be a self help barn painting party, more details to follow.
WH4 600th Run - July 24th (Saturday) 3:00pm, social gathering to follow, activities will include beer, food, dancing, socializing, and overall a damn good time. More details to follow.
Interhash '98 - October 2-4; The Mother Hash, Kuala Lumpur H3, hosts; Join hashers from around the world for the 60th Anniversary of Hashing! Contact Rob Stott, +60-3-618-5650; or mail Jo Doraisamy, PO Box 40, Ampang PO, Ampang, Malaysia 68000. Registration Increases Jan 1! Watergate has a cheap ticket for sale.