Date: March 8, 1998
Hares: Trouser Snake, Just Liz, & In The Hospital Slipknot
Location: Accotink Park, Annandale, VA
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Rain or no rain most of the diehard WH4 faithful who gathered this day listened to the new instructions from the leaders of the pack. Which is, get to the hash before 3:00 on Sunday so mismanagement can more efficiently completely registration and start the hash on time. Well, you have heard about the 10% who never get it, well in our group that includes Gumba, Drinks On Me Bud and Bad Dog who arrived late and had to catch up with catch up with the pack.
Because of the prompt arrival of most of our hashers, there was lots of time to get wet before we began. After some time Spinal Tap called the group together for our weekly rendition of Father Abraham and our hash instructions. We today this was executed in a matter of seconds in a somewhat garbled manner. Then off we went into mudland.
I am going to make this short and sweet because the hash wasn't. It was wet and cold. We started as a WET group of puppies and only got wetter. In fact as we climbed the steps to the top of the mud embankment surrounding the lake, low and behold we all heard a splash in the water. Some thought it was Luci my dog swimming in the lake, but alas she was with me and dry. What was it, well it was Pussy Whipped swimming in the lake, what a sight. From then on the hash went down hill quickly.
The pack was wandering around by the lake and bridge trying to find on trail. After several moments of indecision, Blazing Straddles and John Hand Cock made some sense of this madness and found true trail, and off we went. The group spread out very quickly because from this point on until the beer check some many miles in the future it was a road race with a few obviously going nowhere checks.
After about 2 miles, GBOF spotted an obvious shortcut to the left, and most of us were smart enough to follow, thereby cutting a mile off the sprint. It also helped that Leisure Suite Larry was with us and he had run almost the identical trail with the Harriers and Harriets last week. Hawaiian Puke and crew wandered up a hill then turned left on a long down hill street. As we turned and ran a block or two there in the distance was the beer truck, this made all within the group happy and the pace quickened for the final quarter mile jaunt into the beer check. There was Yeast Injection our newest brew crew member doing an absolutely perfect job of providing the group beer. About this time Trouser Snake our rainy day hare wandered up with the biggest s**t-eaten grin on his face. What have you done NOW Trouser?? The pack lingered at the beer check for about 15 minutes. During this time the running fools who did the WHOLE thing wandered in and regrouped we were.
But due to the weather and I think the running nature of some members of the group many of the folks began to slip away. Some of those included Heyman Dickover, Stool Sample, John Hand Cock, Blazing Straddles, and Noah's Arc. After awhile the entire group got tired of waiting and all of us were off again on the last leg of our journey. But low and behold as we entered a clearing we came upon GUMBA and Drinks On Me Bud who arrived late and were running the trail backwards. They quickly joined us and off we went. As we wandered along GUMBA was heard saying, "get your waiters ready". At the time I thought he was talking about ordering food, but in mile I would know he was talking about our final obstacle the spill off water from the dam. This spill off was running so fast that crossing was an event. After lots of painful moments most of the group made it across, and the remainder kept on trying until they too had mastered the river of doom.
From there it was only a few hundred meters and done we were, thank goodness. Another run for the mug was over.
Unfortunately due to the rain we will not have a View from The Rear this week because there was no rear only a wet strung out group of wankers.
Soon the hash was called to circle up and the hares Trouser Snake, Just Liz, and Slipknot in abstentia came forth. The assembled mass was asked to answer that old question "What did you think of that run?" with the expected, and this time ABSOLUTELY accurate, answer: "What a Shitty run!". For this the hares drank and the sight was good. Next came the Virgins, there were so many that I ran out of paper recording their vitals:
| Name | Who Made Them Come | Temporary Hash Name |
|---|---|---|
| Liz | Herself | Liz The Flour Girl |
| Kirt | Himself | Multi-Talented |
| Mickie | Kirt (Virgin) | Giggles When She Does It |
| Brian | California Dreaming | Surf Buns |
| Nick | Miss Directions | Wrong Hole |
After the virgins showed the crowd to chug one for the hash, and were warmly welcomed by mismanagement the Visitors were called forward. This weeks visitors included Wetback, Babe The Blue Spand Ox, Title 18 Sect 2423, Just Biel, and Just James. They were all from the Blue Hen Hash in Deleware. Word has it that they came to see the one and only Fussy Bitch and her newly name companion Put The Bitch Down. They were stood up by both, but Fussy showed (late of course) and all was not lost. They will have to return at a later date to raz the Put The Bitch Down man. We awarded them with their souvenir mugs and they drank well for visitors, good show you all. Next it was time for the Long Time No See's, this weeks group included; Noah's Ark, and she slipped through without drinking, we will make up for that next week. There were NO naming events during this circle. As for the other circle happenings: Lots of other things happened but because it was so wet no one cared and I don't want to type them now.
The last order of uselessness was the awarding of the hashit. Low and Behold Bonnie Brewer did not show and we had no hashit to award. The rain does strange things to people's minds and spirit. We will have to wait until next week for this extra special event. STAY TUNED FOR THE SUSPENSE. PS I heard from Bonnie Brewer's own lips that she has lost the hashit. But I have also heard from the rumor mill that Cheese Spread has it after F**king Pesto Chicken gave it to her. He alledgly lifted it from Bonnie Brewer when she was not paying attention. WHO KNOWS??? Shortly thereafter, the familiar theme of "Pots on the Ground", and the singing of swing low, and the traditional phrase of "Go In Piece" and "Get A Piece" brought the circle to an end.
The On On On was held at Kilroys, another strip mall joint in the Ravensworth Shopping Center. The beers were cheap, and we had discount burgers. This was good. Drinks On Me Bud was enjoying the memories of New Orleans, and Pussy Whipped was working the bar. Several of the newcomers made it along with all of the Blue Hen crowd. For Sale Or Rent and lots of others were playing video trivial pursuit, and the two TOBW's were watching the NCAA pairings. Fussy Bitch was trying to make several of the male members of the group "grow-up" and "get-it", unfortunately with no success. All in all the group had a good time and enjoyed recovering from the rain in a warm spot.
On On, Big Bird Turd
HASH # 581 March 22, Pussy Wipped and Bad Dog, Dale City, VA
D-rections: From Capital Beltway (495) head south on 95 until you reach the Dale City Rippon Landing exit (# 156 East, same exit as for Potomac Mills). Follow signs to Rippon Landing, 156 East for about 1/4 mile where you will encounter a sharp right turn. At that point make a right turn into Powerline Golf Range, drive to parking lot, park and hash. Start time is 3pm on on on is at Carlos O'Kellys. This hash is NOT dog friendly and it is NOT stroller friendly. Also bring a flashlight and an extra pair of shoes and socks to change into after the hash (lots of water).#582 March 29; Late Comer and A Mystery Hare
WE ARE ALWAYS LOOKING FOR HARES. If interested, contact GBOF at 703-876-4772.
Philadelphia 1050th Run - March 21, 2:00. Cost $35, for info call the hotline at 610-486-6399.
Beer Stop Party During Cherry Blossom 10 Miler - April 5 from 08:30-11:00 Sponsored by Hawaiian Puke (because he missed the race entry deadline). Come out and drink with the PUKE, details to follow.
April Full Moon Hash - April 10 at 7:00pm; Missing Link & Full Metal Balls Special. In Springfield area.
Wagner Brothers Party - April 18th, Probably at Herb's, details to follow.
Vienna H3 777th Run - April 24-26. If interested see Spinal Tap or Hasher Humper
Mount Vernon H3 AGM - May 8-10; sketchy details - pub crawl Friday, AGM Hash Saturday, Party Saturday Night, Hangover Hash Sunday. Check website http:I/patriot.net/~djk/mvh3/ for details.
Pittsburg H3 800th Run - June 4-7 This should be a hash blowout of the first magnitude. Details to follow.
DCH4 (DC Harriers and Harriets Hash) 1000th Weekend - June 12-14; Location is the Washington D.C. Metro area. All hashers (near & far) are invited to participate in this hashing millennium event. More information on cost, registration, and other hash sh*t to follow. Fri, 12 June - #999 - a Washington (pre) monumental Hash; Sat, 13 June - #1000 - country Hash in the Potomac, MD area; Sun 14 June - #1001 - Dalmatian Hash (tentatively planned for inside the Beltway).
WH4 Yearly Pagan Party - Some time in June. To include a self help barn painting party; details to follow.
WH4 600th Run - July 25th (Saturday) 3:00pm, social gathering to follow, activities will include beer, food, dancing, socializing, and overall a damn good time. More details to follow.
Octoberfest & Kuala Lumpur Extravaganza - September 24 - October 10. Drinks On Me Bud is putting together a 3 week package for 25+ hashers to attend the Oktoberfest in Munich and other fun stuff before heading to the Interhash in Malaysia. See DOMB if you are interested. He has an AWESOME package for the whole thing!!
Interhash '98 - October 2-4; The Mother Hash, Kuala Lumpur H3, hosts; Join hashers from around the world for the 60th Anniversary of Hashing! Contact Rob Stott, +60-3-618-5650; or mail Jo Doraisamy, P0 Box 40, Ampang P0, Ampang, Malaysia 68000. Registration is now $215 US (give or take a dollar for postage etc), to late for a cost reduction you last minute wankers.