Date: April 5, 1998
Hares: Stool Sample, #2, (just) Amy, (just) Reed
Location:2001 N. Adams (Potomac Towers Apts) Arlington VA
ATTENTION GBOF Has A New Email Address. See
Below ATTENTION
smythe_andrew@birdengineering.com
Get your hash information electronically from the WH4 Receding Hareline and avoid the PUD JAM0 phone hassle. Contact GBOF via email (NOTE: THIS IS A NEW EMAIL ADDRESS) smythe_andrew@birdengineering.com to be added to the WH4 electron list (Submit First & Last Name, Your Hash Name (if you have one), and put "GBOF" in the subject line, make sure you send your email address).
Unfortunately, we recently had an expensive (it cost them LOTS of $ out of their own pockets for the ON-ON-ON cost over-run) lesson in planning and ON-ON-ON operational management form our HARES. The last thing that WH4 Mismanagement wants to happen to any of our hares is to see them take it in the pocket for ON-ON-ON cost over-runs. Some thoughts for our Hares about the ON-ON-ON planning, "If this deal seems to be too good to be true, there's probably something wrong!!!" Some thoughts for the overall hash membership "Basically, everyone should be aware that paying $10 for all you can drink beer and all you can eat food is pretty rare, and if a barmaid keeps bringing you stuff (at least after the first hour), there's a good chance that someone is going to get stuck paying for it. It would be nice if someone could check with the Hares if it looks like we're getting more than our money's worth." We all understand that the ON-ON-ON is the Hares' responsibility, but a little common sense on the part of everyone would certainly help prevent disasters.
Well gang I was late again, and as such I had to make a decision: run the hash or wait. Well, wait was out of the question. Now how could I make this hash trash special and unusual?? After a few seconds I decided to run the trail backwards and record the event for you.
As I ran from the apartment complex down a trail and after a left turn onto the access path running along side of Highway 66, I came across a check that went either right across the highway or straight ahead. I checked to the right and of course, I was wrong. After returning to the check and running on true trail I came to a fork in the trail where flour went down a cement water runoff to a creek. As I came down the run off "I SAW IT" a tunnel running under 66. As I suspected, the trail was through the tunnel. After getting my shoes a little wet, I came out of the tunnel and saw a creek. The true trail was to the left and wandered alongside of the creek.
I paused for a moment to consider what I was doing and also to wonder what the true pack was doing. After a few microseconds, I decided that it didn’t matter much and off I went along the creek. The flour plops lead me through the woods to another check. After messing this one up, I finally found true trail leading down a steep dirt incline and through the creek to the other side. I crossed with little or no water penetrating my shoes, "thank goodness for the rocks".
Once on the otherside, I quickly came upon another check and went on straight, what a mistake. After getting lost for a few minutes I wandered back to the last mark and finally found true trail (it was a VERY hard right with little or no warning). I then crossed Spout Run Road and found flour leading into the bushes. After a short time I came to a path that lead to the intersection of Edgewood and Lorton. The trail turned right on Edgewood.
As I was running uphill on Edgewood I enjoyed the wooded area to the right, it was peaceful and quiet. The road lead to a check at the intersection of 24th Street. After asking several boys who were working in their yard if they had seen any crazy people running through the area, I went right and encountered a BT. I then returned and went across the road and encountered another BT after about 400 meters. Now with only 1 direction to go, could I be on a BT again??
As I ran up the road on 24th street I saw three figures in the distance. As the figures got closer and closer I thought I knew them. Guess what I did, they were Captain Titanic, Goomba, and On The Rag. They had left the beer near, which was just over the hill, early. After I scolded them they left and I continued on, very quickly I encountered Trouser Snake, he too had left early. As I continued on the HASH DECENDED UPON ME. The lead group included Harem Skarem, Blazing Straddle, John Handcock, Dirty and Harry, Put It Out, Moisture Missile, Hawaiian Puke, and Missed Erections (see I got your name in the trash).
I made a decision that there was no reason to continue on in the WRONG direction. So, I turned and joined up with the group and began to run back to the finish. The run back in was a blast, everyone seemed to really be having a great time. We all arrive back at the ON-IN several minutes later. The beer van was there and we all began to drink and talk with our fiends. Another hash was completed and all was good with the world.
After having some beer and hydrating with a little water in the apartment parking lot, the circle was call to order. Spinal Tap then called the hares forward, sheepfully Stool Sample, #2, (just) Amy and (just) Reed wandered into the circle, with their heads down.. The assembled mass was then asked to answer that old question of "What did you think of that run?". And as all hashers have come to understand the age old response of "What a Shitty run!" sprang forth from the group. After some solemn deliberation Spinal asked for a song and the hares drank, and the sight was good. Next came the Virgins, their vitals are listed below:
| Name | Who Made Them Come | Temporary Hash Name |
|---|---|---|
| Maureen | Made Herself Come | Sunny Side Up |
| Bill | Touchie & Feelie | Been There Touched That |
The song meister then led the group in "Why Were They Born So Beautiful", and then they drank for the their Virgin Honor, it was a good sight and they did well. Welcome Virgins, come often. Next the visitors were called forward. This weeks visitor were Filthy Habbit from Hong Kong, and Sara Legal from Los Angeles. We filled their complimentary WH4 Beer Mugs and the Song Meister lead us in "Alla Zumma, Zumma, Zumma" and they drank like true visiting hashers, with spirit and speed. We then honored all of the foolish hashers who had run 10 miles in the Cherry Blossom 10 Miler earlier in the day. Boy, was it a large group. Are we a drinking club or a running club?? Well anyway they (me included) drank like true runners fast and focused.
The next significant event was the recognition of our one and only Bad Dog for running FOUR consecutive hashes in one day at the Over The Hump HASH-A-THON-CRAZY-DAY. As usual our one and only Dogger made a chugging spectacle of his effort by spilling, pouring, or BOTTOM LINE getting more beer on him than in him. What a mess, will no one neuter this Badness?
There was another solemn event this day; our van is now one year old in its relationship with WH4. This event called for a NAMING. The nominations included 1. Piss Bucket, 2. Comfort Station, 3. Expired Tags, 4. Blue Beer, and 5. Shitty-Shittty –Bang-Bang. After much deliberation and thought; hence forth and forever more in the world of hash vaning our blue beast will be called
To make this honor we called the brew crew forward and they drank in the name of the VAN, and it was GOOD!!!! Our one and only Cinderella of the week was one of our virgins (just) Bill. Because he was a member of the Great Falls Group, he drank out of his shoe and the Great Fall Crowd drank with him. Our song meister lead us in "The Roof, The Roof" and we all enjoyed the spectacle.
In addition to the van naming, we also has a REAL PERSON naming, (just) Amy was brought forward and the nominations came flowing in rapid succession: 1. Beer Dominatrix; 2. Wafer Thin Mints; 3. Roller Girl; 4. Shitty-Shitty-Got-Banged; 5. Shitty-Shitty-Gang-Bang; 6. Vomitatrix; 7. Tie Dye Puke; and 8. Projectile Puke. After MUCH noise and voting and thinking and lots of time, Amy will be known within the WH4 and the world of hashing as
May you hurl thru your hash life in Big Chunks. As Vominatrix was about to drink, the crew spilled a mug of beer and very quickly a Dog sprung forward and licked it up, well when one DOG drinks all DOGS drinks. Bad Dog came forward and poured another beer on himself in a display of sheer madness.
The weekly violations/special awards included; 1. Wilbur who got a fur lined jock strap to serve as his second hand "Pussy Finder" (the boy is in bad shape if he needs that to find the promised land); 2. Heimen Dickover for wearing his Easter dress one week too early; 3. Spits It Out for showing up one hour late; 4. Yankers Away for just making Captain; and 5. Heat Seeking Moisture Missile for just making Major., and called forward our brew crew buddies, they included,
In closing I would like to thank Missed Erections for being at this weeks hash, we really enjoy your presence at the hash and I enjoy writing about you in the trash. You are such a hash funny and you have the cutest smile. Go Girl Go.
Our last order of uselessness was the awarding of the hashit; the nominees included: 1. Freudian Slip for setting clock back I hour the WRONG way; 2. Wilbur for GPS technical support on trail; 3. Body Heat for too cheeks an dog on the beer; 4. Watergate for no breast exposure withdrawal by hash; and Spits It Out for not changing his clock at all. And the winner is Freudian Slip. Shortly thereafter, the familiar theme of "Pots on the Ground", and the singing of swing low, and the traditional phrase of "Go In Piece" and "Get A Piece" brought the circle to an end.
The On On On was held at Josephs. This is a dive of a place on the main drag in Arlington. It was dirty and noisy, but with this type of atmosphere the hash was at home. The $10 beer and burger price seemed great, but the rules were not understood by all and things were EXPENSIVE for the hares. The gang stayed for several hours then things wound down and our hash affair was over for another week. Next week is Easter and the Great Falls Bunny Tail Gathering and Squeeze-A-Thon, it should be fun??? On, On,
On On,
Big Bird Turd
#585 April 19; Trouser Snake, Finger Licking Good & Friggin’ In The Riggin (Mt Vernon or Alexandria)
#586 April 26; Mass Moonie Wedding Hash; Squidley Diddley, Keyless Entry, Perk-A-Set, Big Bird Turd,
Screws Everyone, and Poop Deck, Jimi Hendrix, OralGina, Perkey, and (just) John. .
#587 May 3; Fourth Anal Sexo de Mayo Hash; Leisure Suit Larry, Yellow Pants, and One No Trump; Reston
VA
#588 May10; Fussy Bitch & (just) Jenn, Location Vienna Metro parking garage, north side
#589 May 17; Wine (not whine) Hash; Spits It Out & Trouser Snake
#590 May 24; LAST SUNDAY HASH FOR THE SEASON HASH; looking for hares see GBOF
#591 May 25; Memorial Day/Naval Hash Monday 3:00 pm; Squidley Didley, & Keyless Entry
WE ARE ALWAYS LOOKING FOR HARES. If interested, contact GBOF at 703-876-4772.
Wagner Brothers Party – The Wagner Brothers invite you to their 7th Annual Spring Bash Saturday April 25, 1998 8:00pm – until??? Herb’s Restaurant & Downstairs Ballroom (Governor's House Hotel 1615 Rhode Island Ave. Washington, D.C. 202-333-4372) Enter through Hotel Lobby (Rhode Island Ave., NW, Between 16th and 17th) PRICE DETAILS: $2.00 16-OZ DOMESTIC DRAFTS: $3.00 16-OZ MICRO/PREMIUM DRAFTS: $3.00 RAIL DRINKS & WINE: (All drink prices include tax and tip): LIGHT HORS D'OEUVRES - Music by Gene Pool Zombies and DJ Greg Martin - $5.00 Donation Requested (Limited Valet Parking) Questions? Contact Jerry at 703-631-2882 or jcwags@tidalwave.net or Bill at (H) 703-527-4122, (W) 202-366-9349, or Bill.Wagner@ost.dot.govSaturday
Vienna H3 777th Run – April 24-26. If interested see Spinal Tap or Hasher Humper
Hockessin H3 169th Run – Saturday April 25 their 3 year anniversary; Boothwyn PA, see the other Bill Wagner Mellow Foreskin Cheese for details and Flyer.
Mount Vernon H3 AGM - May 8-10; sketchy details - pub crawl Friday, AGM Hash Saturday, Party Saturday Night, Hangover Hash Sunday. Check website http://patriot.net/~djk/mvh3/ for details.
May DC Full Moon Hash – Saturday May 16th at 6:00 pm; Hares Great Balls of Fire, Bark-A-Dildo, Stool Sample & (just) Kyle; Location at the lake across from Falls Church H.S., Jaguar Trail Falls Church VA.
Dewey Beach H3 Memorial Day Run (and campin trip) – Sunday May 24th, Location – Cape Henlopen State Park, Rehoboth, DE; see Eat It Raw or Mellow Foreskin Cheese for details.
Pittsburg H3 800th Run – June 4-7 This should be a hash blowout of the first magnitude. Details to follow.
DCH4 (DC Harriers and Harriets Hash) 1000th Weekend – June 12-14; Location is the Washington D.C. Metro area. All hashers (near & far) are invited to participate in this hashing millennium event. More information on cost, registration, and other hash sh*t to follow. Fri, 12 June - #999 - a Washington (pre) monumental Hash Sat, 13 June - #1000 - country Hash in the Potomac, MD area, Sun14 June - #1001 - Dalmatian Hash (tentatively planned for inside the Beltway).
WH4 Yearly Pagan Party – Some time in June. To include a self help barn painting party, details to follow.
WH4 600th Run – July 25th (Saturday) 3:00pm, social gathering to follow, activities will include beer, food, dancing, socializing, and overall a damn good time. More details to follow.
Octoberfest & Kuala Lumpur Extravaganza – September 24 – October 10 Drinks On Me Bud is putting together a 3 week package for 25+ hashers to attend the Oktoberfest in Munich and other fun stuff before heading to the Interhash in Malaysia. See DOMB if you are interested. He has an AWSOME package for the whole thing!!
Interhash '98 - October 2-4; The Mother Hash, Kuala Lumpur H3, hosts; Join hashers from around the world for the 60th Anniversary of Hashing! Contact Rob Stott, +60-3-618-5650; or mail Jo Doraisamy, PO Box 40, Ampang PO, Ampang, Malaysia 68000. Registration is now $215 US (give or take a dollar for postage etc), to late for a cost reduction you last minute wankers.