Date: April 19, 1998
Hares: Trouser Snake, Finger Licking Good & Friggin' In The Riggin
Location: Mt Vernon
Get your hash information electronically from the WH4 Receding Hareline and avoid the PUD JAM0 phone hassle. Contact GBOF via email at (NOTE THIS IS A NEW EMAIL ADDRESS) smythe_andrew@birdengineering.com to be added to the WH4 electron list (Submit First & Last Name, Your Hash Name [if you have one], and put "GBOF" in the subject line, make sure you send your email address).
CHECK OUT THE DETAILS FOR THE ANNUAL WH4 GET AWAY BLAST AT THE WRIGHT FARM ON JUNE 13th and 14th. This will be a blast and a half for all of you die hard party people.
Well gang I was late again this week, these last minute hash write ups are becoming too regular these days, boy it's a shame that work has to get in the way of trash scribing so much!!! In fact, I am working on the trash at 8:35 PM on Saturday, I will be late for the Wagner Brothers Party this evening.
It is now 1:45 PM Sunday and I had one hell of a time at the Wagner Brother's Party last night. I think all of the hash was there, if you weren't you missed the real deal!! Cork Screw's band was great even though it ended at midnight, thank god for the DJ so the music could go on and on. As I wandered from the patio to the bare area to the open foyer to the downstairs dance area I was amazed by the size of the affair. About 2 in the morning I heard a rumor that the hotel was almost out of beer and that they would have to close the party down. Well anyway it was a great time, thanks Mellow Foreskin Cheese, you done real good. Mellow RULES!!!!! We can't wait to the next Wagner affair.
As for last weeks hash, there were lots of familiar wankers that included: Futzi Bitch, Hairy & Dirty, Charilies Champaigne, Erections Missing, Out It Puts, Fuke –Oo-Where-We, Lieber Ich, Bushy Bavarian, Orea's Goofey One, The Box Of The Blackest, Tapping The Spinal, Arch Of The Noah, Out Comes Spits, Pussies Get Whipped, and Stradles are Blazing. There were lots of roads, two beer stops, lots of rain, and some confusion at the end before we started the road race to the finish. I would like to put more down, but my paper is so wet and unreadable that I will again defer to the lovely Box Of The Blackest for the real details.
A reminder for all of you who did this run, remember that there is a high road and there is a low road and they will always meet in confusion. Also I would like to honor Spinal Tap for his wonderful song leadership at the first beer stop. We all love to sing "Singing In The Rain", when it is REALLY raining. In addition I would like to thank the hares for the VODKA and VODKA Shooters at the beer stops, they really hit the spot (for me a LOT of spots). Anyway enough of this, read the BOXXIE ladies words.
View from the Rear
What a sh*tty run! Well, actually, it wasn't the run that was sh*tty, it was the weather. What is it about Trouser Snake that has p*ssed Mother Nature off sooooo much?! Isn't this at least two in a row for him where the weather the day before and the day after was wonderful and the day of his run, it went to h*ll?
The day started with me almost bailing out on the run. But I had promised Mellow Foreskin Cheese that I would drive, and I had told Hasher Humper that I would pick up the newly printed full mOOn t-shirts from her so that she could finally get her spare tire back into her car, so I really felt I had to go. On top of that, the week before at the Easter Bonnet run, I had talked at length to co-hares Friggin' in the Riggin' and Finger Lickin' Good about a short cut for the walkers, so how could I miss this one. I'm also trying to overcum the perception that I am a fair weather hasher--I don't know how many people came up to me at the hash and said that they were really surprised to see me there. Geez.
Since the other Ms. Thomas, Blazing Straddle was a no-show, Spinal Tap and I handled the sign-ins. It was great to see Thumper Pumper and Body Shots escape the riggers of the rolling hills of North Carolina and make it back to the big city. Thumper P was here for a, dare I say, race, that several other hashers, including Noah's Ark and Goofy ran that day. I, of course, gave Thumper P grief that he could manage to cum back to Washington for something as mundane as a r___ but would miss co-haring our 3rd Anal St. Patti's Day Hash last month.
Because of these transgressions, Spinal decided that Thumper P and Body Shots should lead us in F'Abe. BS starts out by going"to the right" then can't remember that the other side is the left, with an L and it cums out "ra-eft." Of course, we all picked up on that, and the rest of F'Abe sounded like a bunch of Japanese tourists. Then Spinal noted that, in the past few months, there have been several occasions when Captain Titanic was called into the circle to do a down down, but the good Captain wasn't there since he never sticks around for the circle. So he was given two beers to drink before the run. Of course, Titanics don't drink alone, so Raise My Titanic had to join him.
Spinal then called the hares in to the circle to explain the trail. Finger Lickin' Good tells us that we are celebrating the Russian Easter and asks his comrade, Friggin' in the Riggin', to explain the trail, which she proceeds to do in Russian. Of course everyone starts calling for a "translation," and Great Balls of Fire proceeds into the circle to provide one, noting that the only thing he picked up on was "vodka." We finally figured out that instead of the usual "circles are checks," we had hammers and sickles that had been stenciled on the ground. Cool.
"On On" was called and the pack went to the left (or is that "ra-eft?") and the walkers to the right. Eat It Raw and I got a head start (did someone say "head"?) accompanied by Just Jennifer and Virgin Natasha, a friend of Friggin in the Riggin's. Noah's Ark and Goofy decided that they had had enough running already that day so they also joined the walkers, although Noah's Ark mention later that she was having problems keeping up with us since we were really "bookin'." We had gotten a couple of blocks from the start when we saw Big Bird Turd, Mighty Tight and For Sale or Rent about a block in front of us milling around looking completely lost, which, of course, they were. They had arrived late (no surprise, there) and were trying to find trail. Since I had a map, I had to set them straight as to where to pick up the pack. But Big Bird, sans Ms. Luci and Ms. A-Set, decided that it would be much more fun to join the walkers instead of run, so he accompanied us until we got to the--yes, GBOF was right--vodka shooters check. About this time, the sky opened up and started pouring on us. However, that didn't keep anyone from indulging in the shooters. In fact, the hares had made some of the red jello shooters in the form of bare feet, which Eat It Raw immediately grabbed since we all know about her foot fetish.
Pretty soon trail led us into the woods. Finger Lickin' Good accompanied the walkers to a bridge where the pack was to follow the "high road" and the walkers the "low road." While we were making our way through quite a bit of shoe sucking mud, Virgin Natasha asked me how the hash got started. I turned to Spinal and asked if he would like to do the honors, so he explained all about the ex-patriots in Malaysia, the hash house, A.S.Gispert, the game of hares and hounds, and the most important element, beer. By the time we emerged from the woods, Natasha knew more than she ever wanted to know about hash beginnings. I did ask her if she was having fun, and she said absolutely. I told her that if she could enjoy her first hash on a sh*tty day like this, she would really love it when the weather was better, you know, when Trouser Snake wasn't haring.
Just as we turned onto Fort Hunt Road with the end in sight, we saw a red sports utility vehicle with three "on on" foot stickers on the back. I figured it was either one of the hares driving to the end or Next Week showing up at his usual time. Guess who is was?
Anyway, since the pack had another beer check on their route, the walkers got back to the start/end about 15 minutes before the pack. So we got to wait around in the rain. Worse yet, the beer van wasn't there. When it finally did cum, Spits It Out and I had scouted out what we thought was a nice secluded place to have the circle. What we didn't realize was that on the other side of a tall fence were a bunch of neighbors who had nothing else better to do that day than stay at home and get nervous over a bunch of loud hashers. Oh well, because of the weather, the circle was short and we managed to leave before the police arrived. All in all, not a bad hash.
On On. Black Box
After enjoying LOTS of liquid sunshine on the Soviet Easter Day Marathon, most of us changed clothes and tried to get dry before wandering into the driveway behind the Village Wharf (our ON-ON-On location). We all quickly secured a brew and I passed out the trash, which in LOTS of cases got wet very quickly. SO SORRY to all of you with the wet paper. After a short hydration period Spinal Tap called us to circle. He then called the hares forward, arrogantly Trouser Snake, Friggin In The Riggin and Finger Licking Good wandered into the circle. The assembled mass was then asked to answer that old question of "What did you think of that run?". And as all hashers have come to understand the age old response of "What a Shitty run!" sprang forth from the group. After some solemn deliberation Spinal Tap asked for a song (which was "They Are Hashers Through and Through") and the hares drank, and the sight was good. Next came two lonely Virgins, their vitals are listed below:
| Name | Who Made Them Come | Temporary Hash Name |
|---|---|---|
| Natashia | Made Herself Come (Good Fingers) | Faking It |
| Pete | No Body | Lonely Wanker |
The song meister than led the group in "Alla Zumma, Zumma", and then they drank for the their Virgin Honor, it was a good sight and they did well. Welcome Virgins, come often. We had no VISITORS. Our long time no sees included Generator, Body Shot, Trojan, Thumper Pumper, Pecker Checker, Love Me Tender, and Joe Banana. Spinal Tap asked Pussy Whipped for a song and we sang "There The Meanest" as they drank.
Next, For Sale Or Rent squealed on the hash running group that had done a 15k run in the morning. This is always good for a chug, so Goofey, Noah's Arc, Thumper Pumper, and Put It Out all came fordward and drank as we sang, "They May Be A Joy To Their Mother, But They Are A Pain In The Ass To Me". Then the latecomers were called fordwar for a toast and some suds. I was cought. In this group was Big Bird Turd, For Sale Or Rent and Thumper Pumper. Then came the GERMAN thing, I think one of the hares and his mate (Friggin In The Riggin and Finger Licking Good) are going to Germany; so all Germans had to celebrate with rapid brew consumption into the mouth. ALL Germans were called into the circle to drink, after LOTS of confusion the group included Bavarian Bush, (just) Karen, A German Shepherd Dog, and 2 Hares (the third was missing in action). They drank for the Fatherland and it was VERY good.
Spinal Tap, recognized our Religious Advisor in Training, GBOF. GBOF drank, or should I say SPILLED a beer all over himself as recognition of his efforts. WOW, was that a mess. As we were considering what to do next, Missed Erections reminded us all that Stool Sample had to ask the Shell Gas Station across the stree where the Village Wharf was. Stool can you see boy, for that you must drink. And as we sang "Sally's In The Alley", he drank one for the blind people in the world.
In my CONSTANT REMINDER section I would like to thank Missed Erections for coming again and again. I would also like to say that Soggy Oreo Bitch (SOB) didn't come this week (is she boring or what?). Is there anyone else who wants to insure that I include them in the trash EACH WEEK, if so let me know and you will get in my CONSTANT REMINDER section.
Normally our last order of uselessness is the awarding of the hashit; well because of the rain and an alert by a Wharf employee that the POLICE were on the way to BUST us the event was moved into the ON-ON- ON site. After some deliberation and deep cerebral thinking by the senior representatives of the group the hashit was awarded to Pussy Whipped, unfortunately I left early due to a work engagement and don't exactly know why he got it. If you really want to know ask someone who stayed, if you really care!!!! Because of the threat of POLICE COMING SOON we did a VERY quick "Pots on the Ground", and the singing of swing low. The saying "Go In Piece" and "Get A Piece" was a blur of noise. The circle ended abruptly and all was done for the week.
The On On On was held at The Village Wharf, 7966 Ft Hunt Road Mount Vernon. The Wharf gave us a free platter of fried chicken strips and onion rings, BUT we had to BUY the BEER . It was an ok deal, the place had atmosphere and it was DRY and WARM. These were ALL great qualities for a good time.
On On, Big Bird Turd
WE ARE ALWAYS LOOKING FOR HARES. If interested, contact GBOF at 703-876-4772.
Mount Vernon H3 AGM - May 8-10; sketchy details - pub crawl Friday, AGM Hash Saturday, Party Saturday Night, Hangover Hash Sunday. Check website http://patriot.net/~djk/mvh3/ for details.
May DC Full Moon Hash - The next full mOOn hash will be Saturday, May 16 at 7 p.m. This is the "You Do Know How to Whistle, Don't You?" hash. The hash will be hared by Great Balls of Fire, his Evil Twin, Stool Sample, and Bark-A-Dildo and will start at the party room at "The Cove," 7606 Lakeside Village Drive, Falls Church, VA. The cost is $12 for the run and the On On On. Directions: (#1) From wherever you are, get on the Beltway (I-495) and make your way towards Virginia. Take the Arlington Boulevard exit (Exit #8) and head east towards Arlington. At the first light, make a right onto Jaguar Trail. You'll see a lake almost immediately on your left. The Cove, which is the party room overlooking the lake, is located on the left about 100 yards after turning off Route 50. You may park along Jaguar Trail, Marc Drive [in front of Falls Church High School], or even better, park in the High School parking lot and walk the forty yards to the start. You may NOT park on Lakeside Village Drive, so don't even think about it. (#2) If you don't want to take the beltway, you can just jump on Route 50 in Arlington and head west. Jaguar Trail is the last light on Arlington Blvd before the Beltway, about two miles west of Seven Corners and just past Loehman's Plaza. There is a large bus stop with a stupid looking blue roof on the left side of the intersection. Make a left onto Jaguar Trail, and follow the above directions. BTW, the answer, for you Lauren Bacall fans, is: "You Just Put Your Lips Together and Blow."
Dewey Beach H3 Memorial Day Run (and campin trip) - Sunday May 24th, Location - Cape Henlopen State Park, Rehoboth, DE; see Eat It Raw or Mellow Foreskin Cheese for details.
Pittsburg H3 800th Run - June 4-7 This should be a hash blowout of the first magnitude. Details to follow.
DCH4 (DC Harriers and Harriets Hash) 1000th Weekend - June 12-14; Location is the Washington D.C. Metro area. All hashers (near & far) are invited to participate in this hashing millennium event. More information on cost, registration, and other hash sh*t to follow. Fri, 12 June - #999 - a Washington (pre) monumental Hash Sat, 13 June - #1000 - country Hash in the Potomac, MD area, Sun 14 June - #1001 - Dalmatian Hash (tentatively planned for inside the Beltway).
WH4 Yearly Pagan Party - June 13 & 14. Location at the Wright farm in Maryland near Harper's Ferry. There will be multiple bands, a feast, a bonfire, an overnight camp over and lots of beer. Fun and memories will be made by all. Read the trash weekly to get more details, and mark your calendars NOW. If you need DETAILED info NOW see Cyclops.
WH4 600th Run - July 25th (Saturday) 3:00pm, social gathering to follow, activities will include beer, food, dancing, socializing, and overall a damn good time. More details to follow.
Octoberfest & Kuala Lumpur Extravaganza - September 24 - October 10 Drinks On Me Bud is putting together a 3 week package for 25+ hashers to attend the Octoberfest in Munich and other fun stuff before heading to the Interhash in Malaysia. See DOMB if you are interested. He has an AWSOME package for the whole thing!!
Interhash '98 - October 2-4; The Mother Hash, Kuala Lumpur H3, hosts; Join hashers from around the world for the 60th Anniversary of Hashing! Contact Rob Stott, +60-3-618-5650; or mail Jo Doraisamy, PO Box 40, Ampang PO, Ampang, Malaysia 68000. Registration is now $215 US (give or take a dollar for postage etc), to late for a cost reduction you last minute wankers.