Date: May 10, 1998
Hares: Fussy Bitch & Raise My Titanic
Location: Vienna Metro and the surrounding pavement
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CHECK DETAILS FOR THE ANNUAL WH4 GET AWAY BLAST AT THE WRIGHT FARM ON JUNE 13th and 14th. This will be a blast and a half for all of you die hard party people.
Well gang, I was just about on time this week. Boy what a surprise. I got the trash done at 2:40 PM and drove like hel* to get there. I had already done the entire Mount Vernon Annual General Meeting hash event and was READY to go at it with White House. Why The HE** did it rain so hard. I got ABSOLUTELY wet to the bone on this hash.
Anyway, Spinal and Cyclops called the group to circle and Pro Boner was asked/told to come forward and lead the group in Father Abraham. It was a VERY interesting rendition of the good old song. We all got through the boring thing and the hares came forward to give us instructions. The instructions were short and to the point (Fussy Bitch you done good). We were then off out the side gate of the metro parking lot and off into wet hashing land. As we were running up the access road we observed Fly The Friendly Thighs coming late, bad girl. As we ran over route 66 the group began to spread out as if we were in for a traditional 10 K stretch out.
I observed 3X's A Lady running up a run Off cement spillway, at first I thought it was funny then realized that it was the shortest way and everyone joined in. A little more water really didn't matter. We then wandered through some back yards and finally got to the first beer stop. At this point my paper was totally saturated and I was getting to the point where I didn't want to try and get a stupid ink pen to write on a soggy piece of paper. Therefore my section will be short and to the point.
We left the beer stop ran along the road, through a park where several hashers fell into the water up to their necks, (Blazing Stradles, Harem Scarem, and John Hand Cock). Shortly there after we hit the second beer stop. It was raining cats and dogs. Very quickly the group departed and was off on the last leg of the road race. Finally, we turned into the Dunn Loring Metro and after a 14 minute wait in cold wet running gear caught a metro to the finish.
Mellow Foreskin Cheese has some additional words of wisdom on this hash.
Do you really want to know why this section is not being written by Black Box? Well you are going to find out anyway. As I arrived at the start of the run, having availed myself of Metro's wonderful generosity, TOBW a/k/a Big Bird Turd and Road Map ran up to me and inquired where Black Box was. I told them that she had waaaay too much of Mt. Vernon's Annual General Meeting festivities over the weekend, which they knew, and that it looked like rain. In exchange for a ride to the On On On, I had to sell my literary skills to TOBW to write this section. (A hint for the rest of you for the future.)
I knew that it was going to be a looooong day when the phone in my room at the Econolodge in Gaithersburg woke me from a deep sleep. It was Black Box saying "Bill, its 9:17 and time to get up." After the Friday night pub crawl and Saturday's typical MVH3 5+mile run and party, I didn't really need this. But up and at ‘em for another typical MVH3 5+mile run over part of the same trail. Don't these people know what a recovery run is? This time I was smart though. Since I was faced with running WH4 in the afternoon and in light of my condition, I elected to walk with Black Box (who, of course, had a short cut), Late Cummer, Loose Seal and Steamer.
In the car on the way back from the far reaches of Gaithersburg after a great weekend of hashing and dancing, the weather started to look more and more iffy for the 3:00 run. The closer and closer we got to Arlington, Black Box started to look more and more iffy for the 3:00 run. Well you guessed it, the last thing that she said as she dropped me off was "I don't know Bill...but, would you get me a copy of the hash trash?" End of story. So Black Box, though you are one of our favorites, no wimpy behavior goes unpunished.
The runners trail was long and wet. The first part of the trail was pretty nice as we wandered in back of a few condo developments along a creek and over some wooden bridges, which weren't as slippery as promised, to the first beer check. Along with Bad Dog, Road Map, For Sale or Rent and Melt in My Mouth from Tidewater, I managed to short circuit the only really bad shiggy on the trail by avoiding the stream just before the second beer check. From there, it was one long, up-hill marathon in the rain to the Dunn Loring Metro Station for the free ride back to Vienna.
Eat It Raw, Goofy, Oreo, Spits it Out, Just Heather and the rest of the walkers followed Kiel Bastard on the trail that he would have set. Rather than follow the boring true trail, they used the map given them by the hares to explore some shiggy and woods. Although they were rewarded for their efforts by getting muddy, they missed most of the first beer check. From there, they backtracked to the start and waited forever for the pack to arrive. At least they were able to change clothes and keep dry if not warm in the upper reaches of the Metro parking structure.
On On, Mellow Foreskin Cheese
Unfortunately our trusty rear ender didn't make it, so her section is BLANK, would all of you kindly remind here that fair weather hashers are not dedicated hashers. Boxie lady where are you????? Don foresake us for a few rain drops!!!!
On On, Black Box
After completing a WET, LONG, STRAIGHT, BORING hash, the gang cleaned up and secured warm clothing to assist in the recovery. After about 15 minutes of recovery, during which lots of hashers went to get their cars, Cyclops called the group to circle in the metro parking garage. Spinal Tap then called the hares forward; Fussy Bitch and Raise My Titanic came forward to GET IT FROM THE GROUP. All WANKERS present were then asked to answer that old question of "What did you think of that run?". And as all hashers have come to understand the age old response of "What a Shitty run!" sprang forth from the group. Well what was different about this rendition of the tradition, was that we meant it. After some solemn deliberation Cyclops & GBOF asked for a song (which was "Why Were They") and the hares drank, and the sight was good. Guess what, we were so excited about the trail that we wanted more drinking from the hares. They drank again this time to the tune of "Them, Them, F*** Them". The second time was also good. Spinal Tap Called the Virgins forward, and we a few of them this week, their vitals are listed below:
| Name | Who Made Them Come | Temporary Hash Name |
|---|---|---|
| Tony | Charlie | Bubbles |
| John | Charlie | Ugly |
| Neil | Kim | Kneel Down |
| Beth | Laurie | We Would Like To See That |
| Carrie | Internet Sex | Monica |
| Ken | Lip Service | Lipstick Smear |
| Bente | Fog Master | Bavarian Bush II |
| Kirk | Lisa | Lisa's Toy |
| Jennie | Laurie | Ellen Degeneris |
| Linn | Michell | Does Truck Driver's |
The song meister than led the group in "Why were they born so beautiful", and then they drank for the their Virgin Honor, it was a good sight and they did well. Welcome Virgins, come often. We had a couple of VISITORS, they included Hi-De-Hoe from Grand Dutchie Of Luxembourg, Shawn from somewhere that caused him to forget, and Come Quick from Tuscon. We celebrated their participation in our hash by giving them a visiting mug and singing "There The Meanest and then He May Be A Joy To His Mother" as they drank. We also had 9 wankers from the tidewater hash, they sang us a GREAT song that went something like "Tidewater Is The Best Hash By Far", well I'm not really sure about that. They drank well and we enjoyed their presence in our group this day. Our long time no sees included, sorry we had to call it short because of Fairfax Counties finest, well more next week.
We formally rename Girly Mon,
because of his behavior at the mexican On- On-On last week. He deserved it and in fact he was so embarssed that he almost threw up his celebration. Hey Hurly person watch youself!!! We also celebrated the 100th run for Eat Me For Breakfast, our song for the occasion was "His One Skin …. Etc".
We had TWO very special events this week, NAMINGS. In the initial event just (Browynn) had the following recommendations 1. Grand Canyon, 2. Shilak My Shillia, 3. Whit Breasts Of Dover, 4. Bailey's Crea, and 5. Celtic Climax: hence forth and forever more in the WH4 and the world of hashing you will be known as
Good luck and remember to enjoy the act one time at a time.
In the second event (just) Paul, Celtic Climax's mate accumulated the following possibles, 1. Up The Down Staircase, 2. Canyon Dweller, 3. In The Out Hole, 4. Public Mohawk, and 5. Bloody Broughe: hence forth in the WH4 and the world of hashing you will be known as guess what we could not decided on a name so we decided to wait and week and see - STAY TUNED.
For violations we had John Handcock for limousine arrival, the Fairfax Police for violating our circle.
The winner was Raise My Titanic for I can't remember, ask her she was really impressed with getting it. Because of the Fairfax County police we called the circle short , by declaring "Pots on the Ground", and we began the singing of one verse of swing low. The saying "Go In Piece" and "Get A Piece" was a blur of noise. We then received instruction on where the ON-ON-ON was and the circle was done for another week.
The ON-ON-ON was held at P J Skidoos in Fairfax. We had happy hour prices on the cheap beer and were on our own for the food. The place was crowded and we had to WAIT to get served, well I guess that was to be expected of a rainy Sunday in the DC area. Fussy Bitch was trying to take charge but the assembled group told her to cool her jets, and eventually we all had a good time. The one except was Perk-A-Set who had no voice due to medical complications with a cold. After a couple of hours they crowd thinned and the hash was history for another week!!! Can't wait to next week!!!!
In my CONSTANT REMINDER section I would like to thank Missed Erections for coming again and single out Soggy Oreo Bitch (SOB) for not coming. This week I would like to add Puts It Out to my reminder section. The guy was overheard at recent hash asking for someone to grab his ass, are you sick or something guy. Because of it's news merit I will follow this ass chase for a few weeks and keep you posted. GBOF did not slobber this week, he is to be commended.
Is there anyone else who wants to insure that I include them in the trash EACH WEEK, if so let me know and you will get in my CONSTANT REMINDER section.
On, On, Big Bird Turd
#590 May 24; 3:00 PM Last Sunday / Rajin' Cajun Safari (away) Hash; Ragin' Cajun & Yeast Injection.
#591 May 25; 3:00 PM Memorial Day/Naval Hash Monday 3:00 pm; Squidley Didley, & Keyless Entry
#592 June 1; 6:30 PM Looking Fore Hares
#593 June 8; 6:30 PM Looking For Hares
#594 June 14; Time TBD Pagan Party Fat Boys Hash Wright Farm Area
#595 June 15; 6:30 PM The Multiple Bill Wagner Birthday Hash; Big Bird Turd, Mellow Foreskin Cheese,
Heymen Dickover, plus a mystery hare.
#596 June 22; 6:30 PM Looking Fore Hares
#597 June 29; 6:30 PM Yeast Injection & Trouser Snake Start Foggy Bottom - GWU
#598 July 6; 6:30 PM Independence Day Hash Looking Fore Hares
#599 July 13; 6:30 PM Bastille Day Hash Looking Fore Hares
WE ARE ALWAYS LOOKING FOR HARES. If interested, contact GBOF at 703-876-4772.
Dewey Beach H3 Memorial Day Run (and campin trip) - Sunday May 24th, at 11:00 a.m. Meet at intersection of Surf and Lake Aves. by Henlopen Hotel in Rohoboth. Cost is $15.00 and inlcudes hash, beer, beer, pig roast, BBQ, and more beer, and return transportation to Rehoboth. Camping available at Cape Helopen State Park. Call Hockessin H3 hotline Friday before for location of reserved hash campsites. (302) NEED FUN (633-3386)
Pittsburg H3 800th Run - June 4-7 This should be a hash blowout of the first magnitude. Details to follow.
June Full Moon Hash - June 12 Here's Looking at You--The next full mOOn hash will be on Friday, June 12 at 7 pm. It will be co-sponsored by DC Harriers and Harriettes as the kick off to their 1000th run weekend celebration. We will be toasting DCH4 (or more likely, we will be toasted at DCH4) on their 999th run. The run will start at My Brother's Place, 237 2nd Street, NW, Washington, DC. Cost will be $12 for the run and On On On.
DCH4 (DC Harriers and Harriets Hash) 1000th Weekend - June 12-14; Location is the Washington D.C. Metro area. All hashers (near & far) are invited to participate in this hashing millennium event. More information on cost, registration, and other hash sh*t to follow. Fri, 12 June - #999 - a Washington (pre) monumental Hash Sat, 13 June - #1000 - country Hash in the Potomac, MD area, Sun14 June - #1001 - Dalmatian Hash (tentatively planned for inside the Beltway).
WH4 Yearly Pagan Party Weekend -June 13th & 14th: Pull out your calendars and mark the weekend Saturday, June 13th Pagan Party Theme "Alien Abduction/Seduction" [On-Sec correction] Pig Roast, BEER, two live bands, BEER, bonfire, BEER, a virgin sacrifice, BEER, and overnight camp out. Sunday, 14th June Fat boys Hash (#594). Location at the Wright (Shooting Blanks and Barfly), farm near the Sharpsburg (Antietem to the Yankees) Battlefield in Maryland very near Harper's Ferry. $20 prior to June 1st $25 after June 1st, See "Blazing Straddles" for details.
Wisconsin State Society's 16th Annual Orioles Game and MFC Birthday Tailgate Party - Saturday, June 20. Tailgate party at 3:00 pm, Orioles vs. Blue Jays game at 7:05 pm. $25 for game ticket and party. $20 extra for bus which leaves from Pentagon South Parking lot at 3:00 pm. See Mellow Foreskin Cheese or one of the other Cheeseheads for details.
WH4 600th Run - July 25th (Saturday) 3:00pm, social gathering to follow, activities will include beer, food, dancing, socializing, and overall a damn good time. More details to follow.
Octoberfest & Kuala Lumpur Extravaganza - September 24 - October 10 Drinks On Me Bud is putting together a 3 week package for 25+ hashers to attend the Octoberfest in Munich and other fun stuff before heading to the Interhash in Malaysia. See DOMB if you are interested. He has an AWSOME package for the whole thing!!
Interhash '98 - October 2-4; The Mother Hash, Kuala Lumpur H3, hosts; Join hashers from around the world for the 60th Anniversary of Hashing! Contact Rob Stott, +60-3-618-5650; or mail Jo Doraisamy, PO Box 40, Ampang PO, Ampang, Malaysia 68000. Registration is now $215 US (give or take a dollar for postage etc), to late for a cost reduction you last minute wankers.