Date: June 1, 1998
Hares: Full Metal Balls, & Missing Link
Location: The Springfield Burbs
CHECK DETAILS FOR THE ANNUAL WH4 GET AWAY BLAST AT THE WRIGHT FARM ON JUNE 13th and 14th. This will be a blast and a half for all of you die hard party people.
Well gang, I was there on time this go around, but the drive to burbs was *ell. When will we ever run in the city again???
Smoked Sausage lead the circle up in Father Abraham, and after a few remarks from our bad hair day guys we were off. We wandered under the highway. I passed a virgin Cherly Heine who seemed to be totally amazed about what was going on around her. We then wandered into the woods and quickly came upon a creek, and it was wide and deep, I passed Black Box and the walkers. They were all p*ssed that they had to get their shoes wet. Isn’t there a rule (did I say rule) that walkers don’t do the water thing. In the group was Latin Analyst, I asked her how she was doing and her reply was “I”m just an in between girl” what do you thinks she meant by that?? I then observed her enter the muddy hole and execute the slip sliding away drill. I then observed Per-A-Set, she already taken off her top, girl it doesn’t take much to get you hot!!
As I continued through the woods I came upon For Sale Or Rent and Spits It Out at the “Y” in the road, they could not make up their minds. I unfortunately overheard someone say “minds, neither of them were issued one”. I then saw Heymen Dickover come running out of the woods and I asked him what he was doing, his reply “Thought it might be the other way” SO WRONG YOU WERE. Short cutters sometimes pay a BIG price. I then saw Raise My Titanic as we crossed a small bridge over the creek, ID from Tokyo was on the other side trying to get a handle on this strange group she had chosen to spend her Monday night with, BAD CHOICE.
Guess what I saw Heymen lost in space again, will no one train this lost puppy!!! What he told me as he passed was “The last shortcut was painful enough, you would have thought I had learned by now”. Working The Bar was preparing for Belgium by being late, as she passed she was overhead saying “I was really late to the start, boy the traffic really sucks”. Faith and Hope we then saw a BEER NEAR sign and the beer check was on us.
Several hashers came up to me and reported Cunning Runt for kicking a dog twice on trail and for Fly The Friendly Thighs for being carried over the creek by ???. After some suds we were off down the hill of hashing toward the finish. I ran awhile Dumb Blow and Dumbo, then once again I saw Heimen returning from another lost in space encounter. We then crossed the river and got WET again. Dumb Blow slipped and got REALLY wet all over.
Rubber Maiden was in rare form running up the next hill backwards, will no tell this boy his front from his back. O-Well maybe it’s a hopeless case. We then entered a wooded area and went up a steep hill and saw Spinal Tap greeting arrivers at the top. Will no one ride us of this insolent joint master. As we wandered on Burnt Socks was observed having too much fun, please quite him down. Finally we entered a townhouse section and after wandering through this area crossed under the bridge where we started and finished. See Black Box for more word of wisdom.
View from the Rear
What a great end to a great day! I woke up on Monday morning and decided it was much tooooo nice to go to work. I had also been worried about what time I would need to leave the office in order to get home, feed my dog, and still fight the Beltway traffic in order to get to Springfield by 6:30 for the start of the hash. So I called my office and told them I would see them on Tuesday. Hey, I know my priorities!
It’s always interesting when we switch from Sundays to Mondays to see who cums back. This included Agua Nińo, who told Blazing Straddle and me that he couldn’t hash on Sundays since he went to Virginia Beach every weekend to see his honey. He explained that weekends were the only time he “could get any” but he made sure that he got enough to last him through the week! Wow, I was surprised he had enough energy to do the hash. Nunknocker and Quick Drawers also joined us, but I figured it was because we were in God’s Country more so than it being Monday night. It was also great to have Latin Anal-ist back. She was so full of energy that she actually ran a good portion of the first part of the trail. You go girl! Cunning Runt and Dr. Jekyll were also there. CR told me that she had just quit her job that day to accept a new job somewhere else and hoped that she had made the right decision. She was particularly nervous since she had been sick the previous week and wasn’t sure if the new job offer was great or just seemed really good due to her delirious state.
Wheredafakhawe decided to join the walking group this evening. I wasn’t quite sure whether his motivation to do so was because (1) he would have spilled his beer otherwise, (2) he wanted to make sure that no one hit on his virgin, Cheryl, (3) he realized that he would be the only guy with 7 beautiful women, or (4) and most likely, all of the above. In any event, it was good having him on trail to fend off the snakes, spiders, P.I., and other offensive creatures (e.g., PW) that you find on hash trails. True trail lead us through some woods, into mud and muck, and fortunately to a creek crossing that turned out to be very refreshing. Missing Link provided us with a great shortcut when we emerged from the woods, so good, in fact, that we caught up with the FRB’s and made it to the beer check before most of the pack. There I ran into Working the Bar who told me that she has been in school at the Department of State getting ready for her transfer to Brussels. She said she ran into Burnt Sox there, and it was really embarrassing since neither knew the other’s nerd name at the time so of course they had to greet each other by hash name in front of lots of other folks, while trying to maintain a professional demeanor; it didn’t work.
The trail from the beer check lead us down and down and down lots of hills and into the woods again. I mentioned to Just Mercy that, while going down can be great fun, we were probably going to have to pay for this later by having to climb some major hills. I also explained to the newer walkers that sometimes we actually run on trail, such as to avoid getting killed while crossing highways, when the beer near sign appears, and when the trail goes down hill. Of course, I also warned them that we sometimes have to take abuse for this “sin” from some of the runners who get really nervous when the walkers move faster than they do on trail, and sure enough Burnt Sox and Hawaiian Puke proved my point.
As we came to a bridge at the bottom of a long hill, trail was marked in both directions. Most of the pack went to the right, For Sale or Rent lead us to the left on a presumed shortcut. After what seemed like forever, we came upon trail markings, and I started to rejoice, until Latin Anal-ist pointed out that these markings were for the outbound trail which we were now doing backwards. Sh*t. Well, we had two choices, either continue backtracking or go waaaaay back to the check and pick up true trail. Needless-to-say, the backtracking won out. By this time, however, For Sale or Rent had gotten way ahead of us (who said “head”?) and missed a turn off point. Latin Anal-ist was the one who caught the turn into the mud and muck of the woods. But we did manage to go through that refreshing creek a second time and wash off.
As we were getting towards the end of the trail, I told LA that this was an A to A prime run and I didn’t know where the A prime was. We figured that we would either hear or see the rest of the pack or, if all else failed, we could just go back to our cars and spread out looking for the end. Just as we were cumming out of the woods, we heard some whistles and then saw Ms. Straddle Blazing by in front of us leading a bunch of other wankers. Way cool. We made it back to true trail just in time to reach a sewer facility where, of course, the On In was. P.U.! The only way to make the smell tolerable was to drink LOTS of beer. Fortunately, there was plenty to go around.
Thanks to Missing Link and Full Metal Balls for another great trail!
On On. Black Box
It was good to see Shitty Shitty Bang Bang and and our one and only Hasher Humper selling her goodies. I knew the circle was soon to happen. We then began the weekly festival called “chilling out”. After some minutes of beer drinking, Spinal Tap called the group to circle. He then called the hares forward; Missing Link, and Full Metal Balls came forward to BE RECOGNIZED. All present were then asked to answer that old question of “What did you think of that run?”. And as all hashers have come to understand the age old response of “What a Shitty run!” sprang forth from the group. After some solemn deliberation Spinal Tap & GBOF asked for a song (which was “Why Were They”) and the hares drank, and the sight was good. Spinal Tap then called the Virgins forward, their vitals are listed below:
| Name | Who Made Them Come | Temporary Hash Name |
|---|---|---|
| Sherie Heine | WhereDaFakHawe | Heine Lick Maneuver |
| Mercy | Raise My Titanic | Trailer Trash |
| Leo | Came By Plane From ?? | Mile High Club |
| Lisa | (Just) Denny | Hand Job |
| Karen | Can’t Remember | Bronko Negerski |
The song meister than led the group in “Why were they born so beautiful”, and then they drank for the their Virgin Honor, it was a good sight and they did well. Welcome Virgins, come often. We had 2 VISITORS ID from Tokyo, and Skid Mark from Guam. They drank to “The Roof” and boy were they on fire. Enjoy your souvenir mugs. The long time no see’ers included Chiepoet, Nun Knocker, Plastic Pup, Quick Drawers, and Smoked Sausage. The drank well to the tune of “Sally in The Alley”.
We has three birthdays, they included 1. John Handcock, 2. Just Katrina, and 3. Rocks Off, we sang the same old “happy birthday *uck you” song and watched them drink. Next we recognized Bad Dog for getting a job. Well when one dog drinks all dogs so Fussy Bitch and Put The Bitch Down joined Bad Dog. In the violations section Chiepoet and Got Rocks we recognized for running up hills, Raise My Titanic and Fussy Bitch for their trip to Hedon, Pussy Whipped for his time warp.
Have Dick Will Travel - aka - Awarding Of The Hashit – The winner was , we didn’t award it because it wasn’t here. Where o where are you???.
View from the ON ON ON - The ON-ON-ON was held at a pizza shop. We had a $5 for all you can beer and a $5 for all you can pizza, and of course $10 for all you. Everyone enjoyed the deal and it was good. After a couple of hours of GREAT companionship, the crowd thinned and the hash was history for another week!!! Can’t wait to next week!!!!
In my CONSTANT REMINDER section I would like to thank THE BLOCK OF ICE for providing the gathered group with SOOO much fun, WILBURR you done good.
Is there anyone else who wants to insure that I include them in the trash EACH WEEK, if so let me know and you will get in my CONSTANT REMINDER section.
On, On, Big Bird Turd
#594 June 14; Time TBD Pagan Party Fat Boys Hash Wright Farm Area
#595 June 15; 6:30 PM The Multiple Bill Wagner Birthday Hash; Big Bird Turd, Mellow Foreskin
Cheese, plus a mystery hare. Start: Falls Church Bowling Center (keggel bahn NOT BOWL
AMERICA up the street), 400 S. Maple Ave. Directions: From DC/Arlington, follow Lee
Highway/WAshington St. thorugh downtown Fall Church, Cross Broad St and Annandale Rd, turn right at
Tinner Hill Rd, go one Block to Bowling Alley. From Md or far reaches of VA, take 66, exit at Wash
Blvd/Lee Highway, turn tight on Lee and follow above directions. From Rt. 50/I-495 South, turn left at
Graham Rd, turn right at Lee highway, turn left at S. Maple, turn left into Bowling alley. Metro:
East Falls Church stpp. About 1 mile. Either walk or toke 2 bus west on Lee hHighway until yu get to
Tinner Hill Rd. If walking, exit left onto Sycamore St, left oonto Wash Blvd, left onto Lee Highway, follow
directions above. Misc: A to A' [prime], dry shoes, socks, etc. absolutely recommended, NOT
Dog or Stroller Friendly! On-On-On: Pines of Florence, 7151 Lee Highway, corner of Cavalier
Trail/S. Maple and Lee Highway.
#596 June 22; 6:30 PM Put It Out And ?
#597 June 29; 6:30 PM Yeast Injection & Trouser Snake Start Foggy Bottom – GWU
#598 July 6; 6:30 PM Independence Day Hash Looking Fore Hares
#599 July 13; 6:30 PM Bastille Day Hash Looking Fore Hares
#601 July 20; 6:30 Bundling Board, Cums On A Wimp, & ?
WE ARE ALWAYS LOOKING FOR HARES. If interested, contact GBOF at 703-876-4772.
June Full Moon Hash - Friday, June 12 at 7 PM. It will be co-sponsored by DC Harriers and
Harriettes as the kick off to their 1000th run weekend celebration. The run will start at My Brother's Place,
which is on Capitol Hill at the corner of C and 2nd Streets, NW, in Washington. This is one block north of
Constitution Ave on 2nd. This will also be the site of the Friday Night Happy Hour. Cost will be $12 for the
run and On On On. Hares are Bundling Board and Mother Chalker.
If you are driving, please note that there is a limited amount of parking on 2nd street, so the best place to
park is on Penn Ave across 3rd St. from the National Gallery East Wing between Constitution Ave and the
Capitol Reflecting pool. Also 2nd Street is one way and can only be reached by a right turn from the
westbound lanes of Constitution.
Directions: make your way to Constitution Ave. If you are coming from Virginia, I66 East
actually becomes Constitution Ave. If you are taking I395 North, cross the 14th Street Bridge and turn right
when you reach Constitution. If you are coming from points north, turn left onto Constitution wherever you
can.
Drive towards the Capitol. At 4th Street, Constitution also intersects with Penn Ave. Bear right onto
Penn, go across 3rd Street and start looking for parking. The Capital Reflecting Pool is on right. To get to
My Brothers Place, walk up 3rd Street to Constitution, turn right on Constitution and left on 2nd. Walk up
to 2nd and C and look for the deviants.
If you are taking Metro, take the red line to Judiciary Square. Then walk south through the Law
Enforcement Memorial to D Street. Turn Left on D and walk around the east side of the Labor Department
to a stairway going down to 2nd and C streets. My Brothers place is on the corner of 2nd and C.
Hope to see all of you there as we toast DCH4 on their 999th run. Here's looking at you.
DCH4 (DC Harriers and Harriets Hash) 1000th Weekend – June 12-14; Location is the Washington D.C. Metro area. All hashers (near & far) are invited to participate in this hashing millennium event. More information on cost, registration, and other hash sh*t to follow. Fri, 12 June - #999 - a Washington (pre) monumental Hash Sat, 13 June - #1000 - country Hash in the Potomac, MD area, Sun14 June - #1001 - Dalmatian Hash (tentatively planned for inside the Beltway).
WH4 Yearly Pagan Party Weekend –June 13th & 14th: Pull out your calendars and mark the weekend Saturday, June 13th Pagan Party Theme "Al;ien Abduction/Seduction" Pig Roast, BEER, two live bands, BEER, bonfire, BEER, a virgin sacrifice, BEER, and overnight camp out. Sunday, 14th June Fat boys Hash (#594). Location at the Wright (Shooting Blanks and Barfly), farm near the Sharpsburg (Antietem to the Yankees) Battlefield in Maryland very near Harper’s Ferry. $20 prior to June 1st $25 after June 1st, See "Blazing Straddles" for details. Directions: [about one hour from D.C.] get on I-270 in Maryland and head North. At Frederick take the I-70 west exit. Get into the right-hand lane and take the first exit (340 west). Drive about 15 miles on Route 340, then take a right onto Route 67 north towards Boonsboro. Drive about six miles on Route 67, then take a left onto Trego Road [don't miss it!]. Go about one mile and make the first left onto Trego Mountain Road. Drive about two miles to the stop sign. Go straight after the stop sign. Trego Mountain Road becomes Chestnut Grove Road at the stop sign. Go about 1.5 miles on Chestnut Grove Road. You will pass the K&M Market and Chestnut Grove Park, both on the right. The party is one half mile further down the road on the right at the home of Shooting Blanks and Bar Fly, 2738 Chestnut Grove Road. Look for the large grey barn behind the house
Wisconsin State Society’s 16th Annual Orioles Game and MFC Birthday Tailgate Party - Saturday, June 20. Tailgate party at 3:00 pm, Orioles vs. Blue Jays game at 7:05 pm. $25 for game ticket and party. $20 extra for bus which leaves from Pentagon South Parking lot at 3:00 pm. See Mellow Foreskin Cheese or one of the other Cheeseheads for details.
Over-The Hump H3 750th Run – 26-28 June 1998, Location Lunga Point, Quantico, Va. Call PUDJAM0, Ext 10# or call Nun Knocker (Jeff Ward) 703- 492-8710 for details. Costs go up soon so call or phone to register.
WH4 600th Run – July 25th (Saturday) 3:00pm, social gathering to follow, activities will include beer, food, dancing, socializing, and overall a damn good time. More details to follow.
Tri-HASH-alon – August 9th Time TBD 200 yard float - beer/wine check, 5 mile Mountain Bike through a vineyard - beer/wine check, 2-3 mile run through the vineyard - beer/wine and food following... Where - Tarara Vineyard, Leesburg VA. Hares - *69 (Terry Robinson - terobins@cisco.com) Indecent Proposals (Stefanie Crisanto - scrisanto@fedsched.com
DC Red Dress Run – (PROBABLY/MAYBE) September 12, 1998, BIG Weekend Full Moon and Lots Of Fun. Plan For It NOW!
Octoberfest & Kuala Lumpur Extravaganza – September 24 – October 10 Drinks On Me Bud is putting together a 3 week package for 25+ hashers to attend the Octoberfest in Munich and other fun stuff before heading to the Interhash in Malaysia. See DOMB if you are interested. He has an AWSOME package for the whole thing!!
Interhash '98 - October 2-4; The Mother Hash, Kuala Lumpur H3, hosts; Join hashers from around the world for the 60th Anniversary of Hashing! Contact Rob Stott, +60-3-618-5650; or mail Jo Doraisamy, PO Box 40, Ampang PO, Ampang, Malaysia 68000. Registration is now $215 US (give or take a dollar for postage etc), to late for a cost reduction you last minute wankers.