Date: July 27, 1998
Hares: Champagne Charlie, Eats It Raw, & Chia Pet
Location: The Vienna Metro and It's Surrounding Paths
HASH Sickout Alert! - Okay, when we say we'll throw a killer party, we don't mean to do it literally. Many hashers who attended the 600th weekend activities have come down with symptoms of food poisoning, including nausea, vomiting, stomach cramps, diarrhea, chills, sweats, fever and complete fatigue. Most people seemed to have developed symptoms starting sometime Monday, 27 July and are over them within 24 hours.
To determine what might have caused it, it would be helpful if you could let us know if you suffered any of these flu-like symptoms, what those symptoms were, when they inflicted themselves on you, and what you ate/drank. Send your wailing's to Spits It Out at janus@mnsinc.com. And our sincere regrets to those who suffered.
GET YOUR HASH INFORMATION ELECTRONICALLY - Contact GBOF via email "smythe_andrew@birdengineering.com" to be added to the WH4 electron list. Submit First & Last Name, Your Hash Name (if you have one), and put "GBOF" in the subject line, make sure you send your email address.
LATE SIGN INS: We recognize that it is sometimes difficult to get to Monday night hashes by 6:30 or shortly thereafter and have enough time to sign in before F'Abe starts. If you do cum late, remember that Blazing Straddle is usually available after the run and before the circle to handle late check-ins, so please find her and sign in then, rather than after she has "closed up shop" for the run. Also, most of the $3 that you pay each week covers the cost of the beer, sodas, and snacks that everyone enjoys after the run. Even if you don't do the run, but cum to the circle and imbibe, you still need to pay. Thanks.
THE AUGUST FULL MOON HASH: will be Saturday, August 8 at 7:30 pm in Great Falls, VA. The cost will be $13 and it will include custom-made full moon G-strings, which will be supplied to the first 30 female and first 30 male hashers who cum, so get there early. The cost will also include a pool party and BBQ after the run. This is not a dog or stroller friendly run. But don't forget to bring a swim suit and dry clothes. Also, anyone who is going to the trihashalon the next day or who just doesn't want to drive home is welcome to bring a tent and spend the night. D-erections: [look at a map] From I495, take exit 13 West, which is Georgetown Pike, towards Great Falls. Drive about 6 miles to the second traffic light, which is Walker Road. Take a right on Walker and go approximately 2 miles. Walker takes a sharp turn to the left and turns into Beachmill Road. Go to the bottom of the hill and turn right into the gravel driveway at 10226 Beachmill Road. Park and hash.
RED DRESS RUN: The Fifth Anal Washington DC Area Red Dress Run will be Saturday, September 12, at 3 pm. The start will be at Lulu's New Orleans Cafe at 22nd and M Streets, NW. If you register before August 8, the cost will be $20 and you will also have the opportunity to order a limited edition Red Dress t-shirt for an additional $10. The cost will go up after August 8. This is the most anticipated run of the year and will be the climax of a full weekend of special outfit events: Friday, September 11 will be a full mOOn pre-lewd lingerie hash. Sunday, September 13, White House will sponsor a boxer shorts recovery hash and champagne brunch. Registration forms for the Red Dress Run will be available at the hash from Black Box or on the web at: "http://www.monumental.com/janus/dcreddress"
NOTES ON THE 600th WEEKEND
So much hashing, so little time.Saturday.
I don't know where to start. Primarily, that's because my alcohol-soaked brain doesn't remember much from the weekend. Sorry I wasn't with you guys on Friday night at the Pub Crawl--I was in fact drinking a very nice Merlot with a friend of mine, but that's another story. Anyway, on Saturday morning at the Mt. Vernon hash, Big Bird Turd cums stumbling over to me, eyes red and squinty, and tells me that he had a great time at the pub crawl, but now he is really paying for it, so please don't SHOUT. Oh great, since he is one of the hares for the afternoon's 600th run. Well, the MVH3 hash was picturesque, but long. However, we were all duly rewarded since we ended at the Old Dominion Brewery. Way kewl. We had the run of the place, and could drink as much of any of the many different beers that they brew. I found a fabulous bourbon stout that kept a smile on my face until, unfortunately, we realized how late it was getting, and BBT really needed to get to the VFW to join Perk A Set and Stained Sheets, who correctly decided that it would be really pushing it to go to MVH3 and set the 600th trail. By the time BBT got us to the car and Mellow Foreskin Cheese dropped me off at my house so that I could shower, change clothes, and get all of the stuff I needed to help with the 600th signin, it was already 1:15, and I needed to be at the VFW by 2:30. Whew, but I made it. Fortunately, Had A Madam and Great Balls of Fire, who were also doing sign in (since Blazing Straddle was taking a reprive from her hash cash duties in Nantucket with some of the other Great Falls Mafia ), had already set up tables and had the giveaways--some really cool Redskin-colored lanyards--all arranged.
Prior to the run, I asked Stained Sheets about a walkers' shortcut, and he said that he would accompany us on trail, at least to get us started. As it turned out, by the time we got from the VFW into the woods, SS was having such a good time with us--not to mention that I think he was a little worn out from having run the trail (plus BTs) once already, that he just decided to stay with us. I think he was also hopeful that Steel Trap, who was doing her first WH4 run--although she has sure been to enough happy hours--might show him some of her famous underwear. Dangerously Close and I took the lead--having done the same earlier in the day at MVH3. However, I did notice that DC was wearing the same clothes that she wore earlier and she told me that she had planned to clean up and change at a friend's house inbetween hashes but the friend wasn't home, so she ended up in a Wal-Mart, where she ran into Hairy Budda, who was also killing time inbetween hashes, in the ladies clothing section. I asked if he appeared to be shopping for his accessories for the Red Dress Run or for the upcuming full mOOn lingerie run, but she said she was afraid to ask for fear that that might not be the answer!
Stained Sheets has set 3 trails now from the VFW and he was extremely proud of this one, since he said it was mostly virgin territory for us. (Is that like being a little bit pregnant?) We wound through some woods and came across several checks where the pack had not marked true trail. Hey guys, those of you up front are supposed to do that to help us slower folks out. Even though our hare wouldn't tell us which way to go without our first doing some checking, he never let us go too far astray without "suggesting" a direction. Trail lead into some really nice neighborhoods, and at one point, I took out a comb that I had in my fanny pack to get the hair out of my eyes, and Bare Back accuses me of primping on trail! Hey, there were some very rich gentlemen who lived in these houses; some of these guys might be single and available, so it's important look good.
Just before the beer check, we picked up Long Dong Sliver and For Sale or Rent, but they decided to short cut back to the start down Old Dominion with Steel Trap as the rest of us followed true trail back into the woods again. Stained Sheets did have a walkers short cut laid out on trail that Dangerously Close in her FWB mode completely blew by and ended up doing the entire runners trail. The rest of us got back to the VFW ahead of the pack, so we were able to get some of that great dark brew from the beer van before the lines got too long.
It was a great trail, and the party afterwards was lots of fun too. The VFW looked incredibly festive with all of the balloons that Vominatrix and Working the Bar blew up and hung around. WTB showed me a blister on her finger from--she claims--tying up all the balloons. Sure sure. She also lived up to her name and, well, worked the bar pouring everyone beers all evening. Of course, just after I had gotten changed into clean clothes for the party, Mellow Foreskin Cheese cums up to me and dumps half of his beer on my clean outfit. Geez. This is after I had made an announcement in the circle about the upcuming August 8 full moon G-string hash, the upcuming Septembr 11 Killer B lingerie hash, and the upcuming September 12 Red Dress Run. No sooner had I finished announcing these 3 events then MFC goes into the circle to announce the September 11 killer B lingerie hash! Hello, is there an echo in here? Of course, he was made to drink for that. Maybe he was just getting back at me....
Sunday.
Since Rude Boy is trying to getting in as many haring opportunities as he can before he moves to New York, in addition to arranging the Friday night pub crawl, he hosted the Fat Boys recovery run and brunch. We had a rather small crowd by WH4 standards--about 30 people--but the co-hares, Eat Me for Breakfast (how appropriate), Road Kill (who was grilling mystery meat when I arrived), and Hurls from the Crypt (who was making killer bloody marys), did an outstanding job. Had A Madam, Spinal and Hasher Humper brought all of the leftover food from the night before to add to the eggs, sausage and bagels. [At the time, this seemed like a real treat! Little did we know....] No one was moving very quickly, so when the food was ready, we decided to eat before we did the trail. Finally, Rude Boy called On On, and we headed (who said "head"?) out the front of RB's house and turned left down the street. Trail took another left, until we came to an intersection and a check point. Screws Everybody and I took the lead of this motley group, and didn't have to go too far to find two BT markings about 5 feet from the check, so we turned left once again. Since Eat Me used about 20 pounds of flour to mark this part of the trail, there were flour marks about every 10 feet--just in case anyone was too hung over and couldn't see very well. We got to the bottom of the hill and came to another check. BTs were again on two corners--I like this trail--and SE and I called to turn left. No sooner had we gotten to the next corner, but there was another damned check. Geez. And trail lead, you got it, to the left up the hill to Rude Boy's house and the beer check! Yeah. After imbibing in bloody marys, mimosa, beer, and/or water, On On was called and this time we went left, and then an immediate right. As SE and I were again demonstrating our leadership qualities, the pack was falling farther and farther behind us, until we looked back and they had all turned around--those short cutting b*stards! Oh well, SE and I went down the hill and true trail lead to the right. Next intersection and turn right again until we saw the pack at the top of the hill at the on in. Whew! What a workout. Of course, SE and I had to drink later for being FWB's and for being the only ones to do the whole thing--the trail, I mean. But again, good job to the hares.
Monday.
Well, after eating and drinking that wonderful food on Saturday and Sunday, my View from the Rear on Monday consisted of seeing alot of my porcelain throne! Yep, I was one of the lucky ones who got the runs--and I don't mean that I decided to give up walking--and had the sense not to go to the hash (unlike several hashers who I heard got sick AT the hash). Oh well, hope all of the rest of you who came had a good time.
On On for another eventful week. Black Box
View from the Pack
Because of the sickness mentioned in the announcement section above I did not get the opportunity to scribe the hash, but I did get a chance to meet the crew at the beer stop. After, from what I heard, the hash had traveled about 2 miles in about 20 minutes; the wankers began to wandered down Lagersfield Circle and into Champagne Charlies and Eats It Raw's Town House Driveway. I recognized Wilburr, Ball Buster, Exhibit A & B, Das Beaver, Speedie Eadie, Meat Puppet, US Boobs & Oral Report, Celtic Climax, Blazing Stradles, Mellow Foreskin Cheese, Pimpsickle, (just) Dominique, Latin Analyst, Working The Bar, Cyclops, Fussy Bitch, Missed Erections, Noah's Arc, Drinks On Me Bud, and Generator. There were a lot more wankers, but they slip my mind right now. Anyway, the Champagne was flowing and the birthday boy had a cake that was being properly cut and passed out to the assembled masses. At least Champagne and Eats It were smart enough to warn their neighbors, they printed and placed flyers on walls, mailboxes, and lots of other things that read; "On Monday, July 27, 1998 there will be approximately 100 sweaty runners gathering in the driveway of 9516 Lagersfield Circle at around 7:30-8:00 PM. They do not pose a threat to your safety, perhaps just to your noses. If you would like to join us for a quick drink, please feel free to do so." I didn't know we smelled, do we???? Anyway after about 20 minutes of celebration the gang was off and I wandered back to the finish to help with the circle, if I could survive that long. Mellow Foreskin Cheese has written a view from the rear since Black Box was also sick ,and totally missed the event.
View from the Rear
I felt like shit! The only reason why I went to the hash was because of the hares and the fact that Champagnes Charlie's best friend and family who I had met at Eat It Raw and Champagne Charlie's wedding were visiting from Sweden. Like Black Box and most of the rest of the crowd that had been at Sunday's hangover run, I was suffering big time. Since Black Box wasn't cuming, I volunteered to be scribe for her weekly advice to the hashers column.
As I walked from the Metro station with Working the Bar, Bavarian Bush a/k/a Talkyrie and a few other hashers, my condition started to deteroriate. The first person I saw at the start was Rudeboy who immediately asked me how I felt. When I told him, he said that I was one of many who were under the weather.
Fussy Bitch led the large contingent of walkers as we followed true trail out of the overflow parking lot to Nutley Street where the trail turned right. I was reminiscing with Orange Line to New Hurlington and Oralgina about the weekend as the spread out walkers turned right again and then left into a townhouse parking lot thatled to a bike path. At the other end of the bike trail, we exited onto an access road that went past the real Metro parking lots. By this time I was walking with Bad Dog and Just Heather who was explaining how she was learning the proper power walking technique for her upcuming racewalk in the Cozumel, Mexico Marathon on November 15, 1998 and the Disney Marathon on January 10 as part of the Leukemia Society Team-in-Training program. (Yes, you can still be a sponsor for her by contributing $10 to the Leukemia Society.) By this time, our view was literally the view from the rear. The trail turned to the right and crossed I-66. We then crossed a street and turned right onto Lagersfield Circle where the Champagne Check was held at our hares' home. My evil clone, Big Bird Turd, was also under the weather, but was there fulfilling his scribe duties. I could not bear the thought of continuing the trail and gratefully accepted his offer of a ride back to the On In.
By this time, I was really hurting and, I know this is hard to believe, but just the thought of alcohol or food was making me feel even worse. I even declined the invitation to go into the circle for a down-down! However, although things got better after a therapeutic barf, after the circle it was time to head for home and bed.
On On Mellow Foreskin Cheese representing Black Box
It was good to get back to the Vienna Metro overflow parking lot. There was Shitty-Shitty-Bang-Bang and lots of other short cutters, no goers and auto hashers. The creeping crud really got to us this day. As the gang began to come ON-IN, I started passing out the spiritual words. After a good time of drinking, and just socializing, Spinal Tap, and Cyclops, called the group to circle. Spinal then called the hares forward: Champagne Charlie, Eats It Raw, & Chia Pet came forward to BE RECOGNIZED. After we FINALLY got them into the circle, the group was asked to answer that old question of "What did you think of that run?". As all hashers have come to understand, the age old response of "What a Shitty trail!" sprang forth from the group. After some solemn deliberation Spinal Tap, & Cyclops asked Pussy Whipped for a note (which was "Here's To The Hares ….") and the hares drank, and the sight was good. Cyclops then called the Virgins forward, we had LOTS of VIRGINS this week. Their vitals are listed below:
| Name | Who Made Them Come | Temporary Hash Name |
|---|---|---|
| Laura | Das Beaver | Tube Snake Bubbles |
| Mike | Fussy Bitch | Fussy Pussy |
| Steve | Fussy Bitch | Bitch On A Pole |
| Tom | (just) Rick | Clueless Dick |
| Rosilie | Raise My Titanic | Submarines Solution |
| Rich | Hailey's Comet | Roto Rutter |
| Matt | The Brady Bunch | Slient Slipper |
| Deb | Cyber Sex (many times) | Can't Be Satisfied |
| Torbejone | Champagne Charlie | Swedish Sauage |
| Marie | Champagne Charlie | Pipie Long Licking |
Cyclops then asked for a note, and they drank to "There The Meanest Their The Hores's Ass….", it was mass confusion ONCE AGAIN as the entire VIRGIN Class of the 604th hash downed their beer ALL at once. But, once again, it was FUN to watch!!!!!!! Welcome Virgins, come often. We had two VISITORS Lean & Mean from Ottawa Valley and Is-It-In from Colorado. Is-It-In is to be commended for stupidity, because he ran the entire hash in his BARE feet. Pussy Whipped was asked for a not, he did, and they drank to "Sally In The Alley ...".
We had several VIOLATIONS which included: (1) NEW SHOES Champagne Charlie, and Forn- A-Licker. (2) Brew Crew for losing a keg at the 600th Hash, (3) Meat Puppet & Exhibit A & B for being tounge puppets in the circle. (4) Exhibit A & B (yet again) for licking cake off her boobs at the Sunday recovery Hash. (5) Ball Busterfor a lost brassier at the Costa Rica 100th, that magically reappeared at the WH4 604th (all Costa Rica People drank with her). (6) Late Comers Pussy Whipped, Lip Service, and Rasta Fairy. (7) Hares for bicycle hash throwing. (7) (just) somebody?? For stealing a flower and flower pot while on trail. The all drank to a different song and we had fun while they did it.
We had TWO Namings: First, (Just Marcie) Raise My Titanic's roommate was named:
by proclamation, after we got the low down from Ms Titanic. The West Virginia Woodie was christened to the tune of "Her Ass Is Like A ...". Second we had (just) Dominique, who was more fun to name because it took us more time and energy to decide. The choices included, (1) Finger In The Dyke, (2) Dutch Treat, (3) Two Lips, (4) Big Toe Through The Tulips, (5) Lick My Tulip, (6) Two Lips On The Dyke, and (7) Wooden Dyke. After MUCH deliberation we choose:
Hence forth and forever more enjoy the new name. Two Lips On The Dyke was christened to the tune "Sally In The Alley".
Pimpsickle who won the award at the 600th brought the hashit and carried it with honor and pride during the hash. Those who were nominated included: (1) Pimpsickle: for being a total ass and complaining about his mail no show 600th application. (2) Slip Knot: for being a postal worker, (3) Meat Puppet: Rabbit pull off and stealing private property and some other things I didn't catch. (4) Exhibit A & B: A proclamation of tenderness and love, along with some other SNEAKY BS. After much deliberation it went to "YOUR SNEAKNESS" Exhibit A & B, she sucked up to everyone for their votes, and it worked. Boy did she have a BIG shitty smile on when she began to drink to "The Roof". Ms A & B see you both next week, remember to bring it back!!!!!
In my CONSTANT REMINDER section I would like to thank Speedy Edie for being the most persistent person who wants to be in the hash trash that I have ever encountered. Regarding getting her name in print in the trash. That girl will DO ALMOST anything to get recognized in this LOWLT HASH RAG, will no man satisfy this woman so she leaves this lowly writer of spiritual HASH words alone to do his job. Is there anyone else who wants to be included in the trash EACH WEEK, if so let me know and you will get in my CONSTANT REMINDER section.
On, On, Big Bird Turd
#606 August 10; 6:30 Perky & Grease My Pussy Farewell Hash, Hares: Perky
& Grease My Ass, Start: TBD On-On-On: Sunset Grille, Annandale VA
#607 August 17; 6:30 PM Hares: Vominatrix, Late Cumer, Bonnie Brewer
Start: TBD On-On-On: TBD
#608 August 24; 6:30 PM Hares: Working The Bar & Body Heat, Start:
TBD, On-On-On: TBD
#609 August 31; 6:30 PM LOOKING FOR HARES
#610 September 7; 3:00 PM LOOKING FOR HARES
#611 September 13; 12:00 PM Red Dress Champagne Recovery Hash (Hares For
Run: OTH4-Nun Knocker & F*cking Nobody Hares For Walk: Spinal Tap & Hasher
Humper) Location In Springfield Mall Area
#612 September 20; 3:00 PM LOOKING FOR HARES
#613 September 27; 3:00 PM LOOKING FOR HARES
WE ARE ALWAYS LOOKING FOR HARES. If interested, contact GBOF at 703-876-4772.
DC August Full Moon Hash - Saturday August 8th 7:30 PM "G" String WET & WILD Hash See note at beginning of trash for details!!!!!
Tri-HASH-alon - 9 August Time 1:00 PM Tarara Vineyard, Leesburg VA: 200 yard float - beer/wine check, 5 mile Mountain Bike through a vineyard - beer/wine check, 2-3 mile run through the vineyard - beer/wine and food following... Where - Tarara Vineyard, Leesburg VA. Hares - *69 (Terry Robinson - terobins@cisco.com) 703-620-0234 Indecent Proposals (Stefanie Crisanto - scrisanto@fedsched.com) 703-430-2462.
Nittany Valley H3 550th Hash Weekend At Stone Valley - 13-16 August, for details call Paul TuTu Fairy Rehrig (814) 861- 7989, or email pwr100@psu.edu or web site http://kanzelmeyer.simplenet.com.nvhhh.
Red Dress Exchange Party - Saturday, August 15 from 1 - 6 pm at Spinal Tap & Hasher Humpers place 4101 David Lane, Alexandria. 395 to Seminary WEST. Left on Dawes. Right on David Lane. 3rd house on the right. BASICALLY: folks are invited to bring last year's dresses for sale or exchange, along with accessories.
DC Red Dress Weekend Of Madness - September 11 through 13, 1998 BIG Weekend with Lots Of Hahsing And Fun. Plan For It NOW! Friday September 11th 7:00 PM Full Moon Hash and Party; September 12th Red Dress Hash: Sunday 13th White House Red Dress Champagne Brunch Recovery Hash and Bash.
Octoberfest & Kuala Lumpur Extravaganza - September 24 - October 10 Drinks On Me Bud is putting together a 3 week package for 25+ hashers to attend the Octoberfest in Munich and other fun stuff before heading to the Interhash in Malaysia. See DOMB if you are interested. He has an AWSOME package for the whole thing!!
Interhash '98 - October 2-4; The Mother Hash, Kuala Lumpur H3, hosts; Join hashers from around the world for the 60th Anniversary of Hashing! Contact Rob Stott, +60-3-618-5650; or mail Jo Doraisamy, PO Box 40, Ampang PO, Ampang, Malaysia 68000. Registration is now $215 US (give or take a dollar for postage etc), to late for a cost reduction you last minute wankers.
Virginia Interhash Weekend of October 2, 3, and 4. Location is Glen Maury Campground in Buena Vista. This is just off I-81 between Staunton and Roanoke. Cost is $69.69 till September 15, $85.69 after September 15. September 15 cutoff is so we can have custom made giveaways prepared. Lots of beer, food, beer, Hashing, beer......
Americas Interhash 99 Pittsburgh PA Details to follow