Date: July 20, 1998
Hares: Bundling Board & Cums On A Wimp
Location: Silver Spring, Maryland
GET YOUR HASH INFORMATION ELECTRONICALLY - Contact GBOF via email smythe_andrew@birdengineering.com, to be added to the WH4 electron list (Submit First & Last Name, Your Hash Name [if you have one], and put "GBOF" in the subject line, make sure you send your email address).
PERSONALIZED HASH BASEBALL CAP: OPPORTUNITY: Ownership of a personalized hash baseball cap (your hash name or you (just) name or whatever you want to say on the back of a hash baseball cap). If Interested See BIG BIRD TURD (The Other Bill Wagner). THIS IS A SPECIAL OPPORTUNITY, YOU WILL BE SORRY YOU MISSED IT!!!!
LATE SIGN INS: We recognize that it is sometimes difficult to get to Monday night hashes by 6:30 or shortly thereafter and have enough time to sign in before F'Abe starts. If you do cum late, remember that Blazing Straddle is usually available after the run and before the circle to handle late check-ins, so please find her and sign in then, rather than after she has "closed up shop" for the run. Also, most of the $3 that you pay each week covers the cost of the beer, sodas, and snacks that everyone enjoys after the run. Even if you don't do the run, but cum to the circle and imbibe, you still need to pay. Thanks.
THE AUGUST FULL MooN HASH: will be Saturday, August 8 at 7:30 pm in Great Falls, VA. The cost will be $13 and it will include custom-made full moon G-strings, which will be supplied to the first 30 female and first 30 male hashers who cum, so get there early. The cost will also include a pool party and BBQ after the run. This is not a dog or stroller friendly run. But don't forget to bring a swim suit and dry clothes. Also, anyone who is going to the trihashalon the next day or who just doesn't want to drive home is welcome to bring a tent and spend the night. D-erections: [look at a map] From I495, take exit 13 West, which is Georgetown Pike, towards Great Falls. Drive about 6 miles to the second traffic light, which is Walker Road. Take a right on Walker and go approximately 2 miles. Walker takes a sharp turn to the left and turns into Beachmill Road. Go to the bottom of the hill and turn right into the gravel driveway at 10226 Beachmill Road. Park and hash.
RED DRESS RUN: The Fifth Anal Washington DC Area Red Dress Run will be Saturday, September 12, at 3 pm. The start will be at Lulu's New Orleans Cafe at 22nd and M Streets, NW. If you register before August 8, the cost will be $20 and you will also have the opportunity to order a limited edition Red Dress t-shirt. The cost will go up after August 8. This is without question the most anticipated run of the year and will be the climax of a full weekend of Red Dress Events: Friday, September 11 will be a full mOOn pre-lewd hash. Sunday, September 13, White House will sponsor a recovery hash and champagne brunch. Registration forms for the Red Dress Run will be available at the hash from Black Box or on the web at: http://patriot.net~djk/mvh3/ or http://www.monumental.com/janus/dcreddress
If you didn't attend shame on you, if you did you will always remember the GREAT Times. BIG write up will be included in next week's HASH TRASH, but a few observations are enclosed.
Friday evening started the events off. Rude Boy and Chappaquickdick lead us on a liquid adventure called an impromptu pub-crawl hash. We were skipping bars, adding bars, and really enjoying the beer. The On-On-On and circle at Odd's were also memorable. Pussy Whipped was our leader in frivolity, and he did a good job of the foolishness.
Saturday was a great day for a 600th anything, let alone a WH4 special event. The group was great, the trail was long and interesting, and the circle was fun and games for one and all. We had a naming, violations, another naming, more violations, and another naming. We even had a balding sideshow. Had-A -Madam was passing out extra special goodies to a select few (3 to be exact - crome dome lotion, sex enhancer fluid, and muscle man juice). The PARTY to follow, was to be killed for. Had-A-Madam did it GOOD!!! In fact I thought he rented an excellent DJ for our entertainment. The food was good and we even had some veggie people stuff. As the beer flowed and the evening moved forward, the dancing got OUT OF CONTROL. It was great. PS; late breaking story about diarrhea, vomiting and chills running rampant in our group!!!
The Sunday Fat Boys recovery hash was the top of the weekend. The food was well cooked, the bloody maries were tart, and the Mimosa's were tangy. What more could you ask for. The run was SHORT and we even left the Black Box and the Screws Everyone to fend for themselves on the second leg. We got tired and cut it short. After more liquid energy juice we called it a GREAT WEEKEND and left for more sane and important things.
It was a marvelous day in Silver Spring, home of the one and only BB girl. She told me so many stories about how HOT she was when she lived there; and to make thing worse the day turned out to be JUST as HOT. She also told me she lived only a few blocks from the start, in her younger and more active (non walking) days. Well after I paid my $3 and left our Ms BB, the circle was called to order and Rocks Off was called forward for spilling beer as the circle started. He did a QUICK and good job. After a few announcements the group was off. Heimen Dickover was immediately observed in the street directing traffic (will no one give this dickman some brains). Watergate and Shooting Blanks had a few words form me as I ran by "F*ck You". (just) Dominique and Dumb Blonde were observed sharing blond hair stories, watch out ladies you may be taken for someone who cares. I ran down a side street and guess who I found Bramble Bush, Working The Bar, and Street Work, what a sad crew they were. Then I saw an ABSOLUTELY OBNIXOUS sight Bad Dog and Hairy Buddha sharing work stories. As we crossed Colesville Road I observed Out Of The Bush and her sister Bramble Bush and Just Fitzy working the chalk. Girlies, where is true trail???? As we turned into yet another alley I observed Haley's Comet, Bavarian Bush and (just) Ann with Bad Dog, boy was I feeling sorry for that group of girls. Tess's Smirnoff's Smirf was sucking LOTS of water out of a hose as I passed her. Boy can she suck it in. Because I am running out of time, I will include the names of all the folks that I observed, passed, was passed by, or just ignored: Stool Sample, Back Shot, Perk-A-Set, Pecker Checker, Rubber Maiden, Ass Shot, Missed Shot, Bark-A Dil-Do, (just) Kirstin, Loonie, Blowing In The Wind, Put's It Out, Noha's Arc, Cyclops, (just) Katrien, John Handcock, Generator, Raise My Titanic, Dumb Blonde, (just) Tom, (just) Heather, Wilburr, and Ball Buster. Gland to see you all and share the experiences that I did not have enough time to write about. And to all of you who I left out, sorry I will try better next week. See Black Box for the Good Scoop on the Walking Group.
View from the Rear
I know that most of you think of me as a displaced Wisconsinite since I hang around with so many Cheeseheads. But I actually grew up in Silver Spring, Maryland, and lived there until I got out of college and moved to Arlington-- there's something about having a nice wide river between you and your parents. Since my parents moved to California almost 15 years ago, I haven't been back much, so when Bundling Board told me that he was going to have his last hash there, I figured this would be like old home week.
My first apartment was located only about 5 blocks from the start of the hash, so getting to the start was a piece of cake--so much so that I arrived well before 6 pm. But I wasn't the first one there--Wheredafukrwe, who was driving Shitty Shitty Bang Bang, was already drinking a beer and talking to Blowin' In the Wind, who looked mighty nice for a Monday evening hash, but then he was in hopes of good things to cum. Hmmm. Standing nearby was Virgin Heather who's ear was being bent by Bad Dog, who was trying to explain all of the rules of hashing while telling her there were no rules. Poor Heather; hope this doesn't turn her off hashing. Since Blazing Straddle seemed to be running a little late, everyone kept trying to give me their money, so I finally tapped Spinal (ha!ha!) to help me with the sign-in. No sooner were we set up when Ms. Straddle came rushing over mumbling something about trying to get to the State of Maryland during rushhour. Of course, she also immediately reminded me that she was going to Nantucket again for the weekend. She must be getting road weary, poor thing.
Before the start of the run, Bundling Board gave me a map of the trail and written instructions for the walkers--hey, he's walked with me before and knows how directionally challenged I can get. Anyway, he told me that the walkers would be on true trail until the water check, and then we would have a shortcut, so I immediately put the map away. After On On was called, I noticed that we had a decent-sized walking group. As we were passing Nordstrom's Rack, Spits It Out mentions to Just Mercy, Great Puck and myself, that this used to be a Hecht Company store and that Murphy's was across the street, and that his family used to do most of their shopping in downtown Silver Spring. Say what? Turns out, he lived in Kensington, Maryland, and went to Wheaton H.S. I then tell him that I grew up here, so we start comparing notes about all the changes in downtown Silver Spring. Great Puck also mentioned that her family had lots of friends in Silver Spring. Wow. This is like old home week. As we got to Colesville Road, I pointed out the building where I had my first apartment, and the hotel where I had my wedding reception. Talk about bringing back memories. We then followed true trail across Georgia Avenue into a neighborhood. Trail then went into some woods and across a railroad track at which point we saw the pack way down the track crossing over a bridge. Instead of staying on the track, we followed Spinal, who claimed he was following Watergate and Amknessia, to the left off of the track and through some trees into an apartment parking lot. Since I hadn't seen any flour since the railroad tracks, I yelled "RU?" to Watergate. She said that since the pack had been in front of us on the railroad bridge and had turned left, she was trying to find a short cut to the left. So, of course, like lemmings, we all followed her. We then go into a wooden area just to find an 8 foot tall chain link fence, complete with barbed wire, blocking our way. Spinal decides he is going to slide down a deep embankment to a culvert--well, he didn't decide to slide, it just happened--and all the rest of us stood around trying to figure out a better way around the fence, when magically Spits It Out presents himself on the other side of the fence. Apparently, athlete that he is, he just bounded over it. He then starts tugging on the bottom of the chain link, and makes enough of a space that Watergate is able to wiggle through on her belly, a site that most of you wankers would have killed to see. She is soon followed by Bad Dog, and I figured if he could do it, so could I, and I did. Of course, after the last person got under the fence, we realized that we faced yet another fence around the parking lot/pool area of this apartment complex. So SIO and Watergate start running down the parking lot looking for an exit. About this time, I decide to whip out the map to see if I can make any sense out of where we are. About all I could figure out was that we were near East West Highway. I told Just Mercy that according to Bundling Board's directions from the beer check, we needed to cross East West Highway at the Red Cross building. Well, lo and behold, after walking about a block, we spot the Red Cross. Yeah! Just Mercy then realized that by following Watergate, we actually cut off most of the trail. In fact, the trail was one big oval and we had gone about halfway down one side of the oval and cut a line directly across to the other side of the oval. As we were walking towards the Red Cross, SIO and Watergate, who were playing scout, start yelling to cross over East West to the Red Cross. When they caught up with us, SIO said that he had some good news and some bad news. The bad news was that they had found Bundling Board who said that we had missed the beer check. The good news was that by shortcutting the way we did, we were now the FRBs! So we decided to follow true trail for the rest of the way. This meant going into the woods behind the Red Cross, where I swear they must dump their hazardous waste, because the stuff back there was pretty disgusting! We had to slide down a hill, cross a creek, and then climb up another hill and then reached a neighborhood that was clearly built in the 50s or 60s. By this time, the hares must have decided that everyone would just hightail it back to the start, because for the rest of the way, there were NO checks, so trail was pretty easy to follow. Of course, it didn't take too long for the real FRBs to catch up with us, and just about the time that I was starting to die of thirst, we passed a yard that had a sprinkler going. Thanks to Hymen Dickover, who turned the sprinkler towards the sidewalk, we all got a refreshing shower. Thanks also to Had-A- Madam, who brought a squirt bottle with him and sprayed our faces as we were cumming to the On In. Good job and Happy Trails, Bundling Board!
On for another week. Black Box
As we FINALLY wandered up into Silver Spring, It was obvious that the end was near. As we wandered up into a large parking garage, there she was Shitty-Shitty-Bang-Bang the one and only. Beer was flowing and everyone seemed relaxed and was obviously enjoying himself or herself. But there was no bag van, where-o-where was it??? I finally had to WALK and get the goods. But alas I sacrificed my legs for the greater good. After a LONG and Difficult trip I brought the trash back to the beer site and started to pass out the spiritual words. After a good time of drinking, and just socializing, Spinal Tap, and Had A Madam, called the group to circle. Had A Madam then called the hares forward: Bundling Board and Cums On A Wimp came forward to BE RECOGNIZED. After we FINALLY got them into the circle, the group was asked to answer that old question of "What did you think of that run?". As all hashers have come to understand, the age old response of "What a Shitty trail!" sprang forth from the group. After some solemn deliberation Spinal Tap, & Had A Madam asked for a song (which was "Why Were They Born So Beautify ….") and the hares drank, and the sight was good. Had A Madam then called the Virgins forward, we had LOTS of VIRGINS this week. Their vitals are listed below:
| Name | Who Made Them Come | Temporary Hash Name |
|---|---|---|
| John | Forced To Cume | Mastrabation Mark |
| Tim | My Mon (KINKY) | The Color Of A Used Dildo |
| Kristine | On My Own | 5 Digit Wiggle |
| Jason | (just) Ann | Finger Licking Good |
| Andria | (just) Tim | Rug Burn |
| James | (just) Tim | Frankenstein |
| Elizabeth | (just) Tim | Megaphone Mouth |
| Halle | (just) Tim | Melts In Your Mouth |
| Veronica | (just) Tim | Sweet & Tasty |
| Heather | (just) Tom | Comes To The Finish |
Had A Madam then asked for a note, and they drank to "There The Meanest Their The Hores's Ass….", it was mass confusion ONCE AGAIN as the entire VIRGIN Class of the 601st hash downed their beer ALL at once. But, once again, it was FUN to watch!!!!!!! Welcome Virgins, come often. We had NO VISITORS. We had MANY log-time no-seers: Road Kill, Natachia, Watergate, Comes On A Wimp, Rubber Maiden, and (just) Fitz. They drank to "10 toes up and 10 toes down", great to see all of you, cume again soon.
We had several VIOLATIONS which included: (1) NEW SHOES Bark-A-Dildo, (just) Laurie, and (just) Chet. (2) Race For Research "the come in second Girl" (just) Saraha and the Brady Bunch girly friend (just) Kassie. (3) Our RA Had A Madam for no spirits in his fluids. (4) Dumb Blonde for taking a shower with the hash water. The all drank to a different song and we had fun while they did it.
In my CONSTANT REMINDER section I would like to thank Bundling Board for being a good WH4 wanker, have a good time in never-never-land. Is there anyone else who wants to be included in the trash EACH WEEK, if so let me know and you will get in my CONSTANT REMINDER section.
On, On, Big Bird Turd
#605 August 3; 6:30 PM Hares: Trouser Snake & Mystery Hare, Start: Old Town, Alexandria VA On-On-On: TBD
#606 August 10; 6:30 Perky & Grease My Pussy Farewell Hash, Hares: Perky & Grease My Ass, Start: TBD On-On-On:
Sunset Grille, Annandale VA
#607 August 17; 6:30 PM Hares: Vominatrix, Late Cumer, Bonnie Brewer Start: TBD On-On-On: TBD
#608 August 24; 6:30 PM Hares: Working The Bar & Body Heat, Start: TBD, On-On-On: TBD
#609 August 31; 6:30 PM LOOKING FOR HARES
#610 September 7; 3:00 PM LOOKING FOR HARES
#611 September 13; 12:00 PM Red Dress Champagne Recovery Hash LOOKING FOR HARES Start: Bistro Bistro
Balston, On-On-On: Bistro Bistro Balston
WE ARE ALWAYS LOOKING FOR HARES. If interested, contact GBOF at 703-876-4772.
Great Balls Of Fire & [just] Mike's Annual Lake And Pool Party - Saturday 1 August @ 6:00pm Location: Falls Church, VA - Jaguar Trail & Lakeside Village Drive [across from Falls Church H.S.]. Details are a comin'! SEE FLYER ATTACHED
DC August Full Moon Hash - Saturday August 8th 8:00 PM The "G" String Romp in the wild Hash Hares: Drinks On Me Bud, Wilburr, John Handcock Start: TBD On-On-On: Poolside In Great Falls KEEP YOUR CALENDARS OPEN FOR THIS ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Tri-HASH-alon - 9 August Time 1:00 PM Tarara Vineyard, Leesburg VA: 200 yard float - beer/wine check, 5 mile Mountain Bike through a vineyard - beer/wine check, 2-3 mile run through the vineyard - beer/wine and food following... Where - Tarara Vineyard, Leesburg VA. Hares - *69 (Terry Robinson - terobins@cisco.com) 703-620-0234 Indecent Proposals (Stefanie Crisanto - scrisanto@fedsched.com) 703-430-2462.
Nittany Valley H3 550th Hash Weekend At Stone Valley - 13-16 August, for details call Paul TuTu Fairy Rehrig (814) 861- 7989, or email pwr100@psu.edu or web site http://kanzelmeyer.simplenet.com.nvhhh.
DC Red Dress Weekend Of Madness - September 11 through 13, 1998 BIG Weekend with Lots Of Hahsing And Fun. Plan For It NOW! Friday September 11th 7:00 PM Full Moon Hash and Party; September 12th Red Dress Hash: Sunday 13th White House Red Dress Champagne Brunch Recovery Hash and Bash.
Octoberfest & Kuala Lumpur Extravaganza - September 24 - October 10 Drinks On Me Bud is putting together a 3 week package for 25+ hashers to attend the Octoberfest in Munich and other fun stuff before heading to the Interhash in Malaysia. See DOMB if you are interested. He has an AWSOME package for the whole thing!!
Interhash '98 - October 2-4; The Mother Hash, Kuala Lumpur H3, hosts; Join hashers from around the world for the 60th Anniversary of Hashing! Contact Rob Stott, +60-3-618-5650; or mail Jo Doraisamy, PO Box 40, Ampang PO, Ampang, Malaysia 68000. Registration is now $215 US (give or take a dollar for postage etc), to late for a cost reduction you last minute wankers.
Virginia Interhash Weekend of October 2, 3, and 4. Location is Glen Maury Campground in Buena Vista. This is just off I- 81 between Staunton and Roanoke. Cost is $69.69 till September 15, $85.69 after September 15. September 15 cutoff is so we can have custom made giveaways prepared. Lots of beer, food, beer, Hashing, beer......
Americas Interhash 99 Pittsburgh PA Details to follow