IN BEER WE TRUST
WHITE HOUSE HASH HOUSE HARRIERS

Run #606
The Perky & Grease My Pussy "GOODIE GOODBY HASH #2"

Date: August 10, 1998

Hares: Perky, & Grease My Pussy

Location: Annandale "KNIGHTS OF COLUMBUS PARKING LOT"

HOT INFORMATION

GET YOUR HASH INFORMATION ELECTRONICALLY - Contact GBOF via email smythe_andrew@birdengineering.com, to be added to the WH4 electron list (Submit First & Last Name, Your Hash Name [if you have one], and put "GBOF" in the subject line, make sure you send your email address).

RED DRESS RUN INFO: The 5th annual DC area Red dress run will be Saturday, September 12, at 3 pm. The start will be at Lulu's New Orleans Cafe, which is located at 22nd and M Streets, NW. If you register before September 5, the cost will be $25. After that including the day of the event, the cost will be $30. The Red Dress Run will be the climax of a weekend of special outfit events: Friday, September 11 will be a full mOOn pre-lewd lingerie hash hared by the Killer B's. Sunday, September 13, there will a boxer shorts recovery hash and champagne brunch. Registration forms for the Red Dress Run are available on the White House and Mount Vernon web pages, or you can contact Black Box at 703-533-2107.

SKYDIVING OPPORTUNITY: from (just) Chris; Anyone who is interested in Skydiving September 19, as part of a Hash Group should be making their reservations in the next week or two. Call Skydive Virginia at 540.967.3997 or email Tonney Boan (tboan@rica.net).

View from the Pack

The rain Gods were once again messing around with our sacred day, will they never learn the importance of a hash day to us mere mortals? At about 3 in the afternoon, I began to feel sorry for Perky and Grease My Pussy. I remember about a month ago when I had TWO awful wet hashes in a row, but knowing Perky's hash background I knew everything would come out in the wash (a pun on wet words).

As everyone probably guessed, I was LATE again, so from what I heard the Father Abe ritual was good and the group, which numbered about 65, was high spirited and ready to go. Unfortunately for the hares, they had MANY temporary marks and strange conventions for the group to navigate through (do to rain wash aways and more rain wash aways). To minimize the pain Grease My Pussy went with the main body and Perky went with the walkers to keep the groups on the straight and narrow, if that was possible. When I finally did show, Hasher Humper was primping her hash wares and generally enjoying herself. I asked which way they went and all she knew was up to the right across the big field and to the right again. It sounded good until I went to the right and saw NOTHING but street and residential developments. Little did I know that the field was a small patch of grass beside A LOT of Townhouse developments. In frustration I went up Lincolnia Road to the North convinced the trail was in that direction (WRONG), when I finally come upon Columbia Pike and saw NO Hash I was a believer that I was going in the wrong direction. I proceeded back down Lincolnia and crossed Little River Turnpike convinced that I would flank the group and catch them as they approached the ON IN (WRONG), because the trail finished by coming back up little River Turnpike. I was SC**WED.

I did hear that the beer check at Perky's and Grease My Pussy "wedding bliss" townhouse was very good, shucks what a shame to miss a perfectly good hash drinking event. I enlisted two exceptional writers to fill in more of the nitty gritty details of the hash: No Genitals who was my predecessor from last years mismanagement as scribe, volunteered to write a paragraph or two, and Mellow Foreskin Cheese, my clone who volunteered out of sympathy. Listen to their words and enjoy the memories. O by the way a little bird told me that Squidley Didley, Spinal Tap, #2, Rudeboy, Amnesia, Hawaiian Puke, Road Map, WhereTheFukArWe, No Genitals, Goofey, Blazing Straddles, GBOF, Keyless Entry, Hollow Point, See Dick Run, Speedy Edie, Dirty & Harry, Wilbur, Trouser Snake, For Sale Or Rent, Generator, Bad Dog, Mellow Foreskin Cheese, Rubber Maiden, Das Beaver, Agua Nino, Noah's Arc, Champagne Charlie, Eats It Raw, Roach Motel, Late Cummer, and a lot of (just) people were all present for duty.

Before we go any further, I would like to ask each of you to write a few paragraphs every now and then, or whenever you little heart desires; and email them to me at bwagner@grci.com. I will attempt to add them to the trash each week, this is your shot at getting the details and names of people you want to be recognize into the sleeze sheet each week. NOW on with the show we will go!!!!!!!

The evening was perfect for a hash run. Hot, humid, and the constant threat of rain. As everyone was catching up on the weekends events, Spits It Out and I bugged Perky on the conditions of the trail. Her response was that there was some shiggy but she doesn't think there was any PI. Soon the group was called to circle up and the hares were asked about the trail. It was the usual of circles are checks Xs are false trail and most of the chalk markings were probably washed away and if you get two hash marks and nothing else you were probably on a bad trail. Uh oh, sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.

Trail took across Little River Turnpike and thankfully there were no injuries and/or deaths as a bunch of half-minds attempted to cross six lanes of traffic. The trail then degenerated as no hash marks could be found. Hashers were running like chickens with their heads cut off. Wait - that is their usual mode of operation! Trail continued to the left and up a hill. Between the first check and the beer check, no one saw a single check mark or false trail marking. But as it was difficult to find any markings, the pack actually stayed together reasonably well. There was a nice trail through the woods that stayed on a path and didn't venture into the heart of the woods. That should keep the incidence of PI to a minimum! Except for those hashers that decided to crash through the woods to catch up to the pack. What do you think this is a R*C*?!?

The beer check was in a nice town house development and we were not harassed by any of the neighbors. Though, there was one man who watched us the entire time with a very concerned look on his face. He was much to young to be worrying about what was happening to his neighborhood while 60+ people were drinking beer on the streets!

Soon the hash was off again. Seen leaving the beer check waaay too early was Love Me Tender, Spits It Out and Spinal Tap. ST has a valid excuse for getting an early start but surely LMT, there is no reason for you to be leaving early. Trail continued through the developments and made it's way to Little River Turnpike. As we hadn't been on trial for very long, most hashers continued to follow the trail instead of short cutting to the end. Trail meandered down a looong hill, past a high school, and a half dozen members of the girl's cross country team. One hasher, who's name I have forgotten, attempted to pick up some of the lovely women despite the fact that he was definitely old enough to be their father! Trail then continued to the right up and down hills and finally back to Little River Turnpike and the Exxon (which was on the left and not on the right as the directions had said) and ore importantly the BEER. And the packs first sighting of a hare's arrow.

Shitty trail Perky and Grease My Pussy. You will be missed.

On On, No Genitals

Once again it looked like it was gong to be a hot humid rainy night. Add to that the fact that it was not Metro accessible and it meant that it was going to be touch and go getting there by the hallowed hour of 6:30. As I was traversing Columbia Pike, stoplight by stoplight and raindrop by raindrop, the hash future ahead of me looked bright and it appeared that we might just avoid getting rained upon for the hash. When I looked behind me and saw a rainbow splashed across the sky I knew we had it made.

I pulled into the parking lot at the KC hall just as F'Abe was getting underway.

The panorama of waving arms and t-shirts was so bright that I narrowly missed hitting UR in My Shorts as I hurriedly parked the car and joined the circle. After some incoherent directions form the hares we were off across Little River Turnpike and into the woods. As the trail wandered through some parkland and fields to a paved bike path, I caught up on things with Cyclops and found out that he was about to travel to the great state of Wisconsin to see his visiting mother who was in from the Netherlands. Keyless Entry and Mellow Foreskin Cheese were heard discussing how things were going for her upcuming wedding to Squidly Diddly. She confirmed that things are chaotic as expected. Finally, we arrived at the beer check in an apartment complex paring lot. It was good to see Rudeboy helping man Shiggy Shiggy Bang Bang prior to his final departure.

After the beer check, the trail crossed Little River Turnpike and made a long loop on city streets back to Little River Turnpike a couple of blocks from the On In. It was pretty uneventful except for the sound of screeching breaks and a fender bender that did not appear to be related to the hash. Leisure Suit Larry and Mellow Foreskin Cheese were heard discussing the upcuming NFL season and Harriette's Ray Charles Concert hash the next night at Wolf Trap.

On On Mellow Foreskin Cheese

View from the Rear

I am sorry that our lady of the rear Black Box had Dusty duty this Monday and was unable to attend. Therefore, we will have no rearward look this week. Ms Box is also tied up for the next month preparing for the red dress run of the year on the 12 of next month. Therefore, until after the red dress run, her highness will be unable to cum forward with the rearward look. In the meantime I will ask for volunteers to try and fill the shoes of the one and only Boxer. Stand up and volunteer for your hash.

On On for another week. Black Box

View from the Circle

We finished in the same place we started, the back parking lot of the Knights Of Columbus on Little River Turnpike in Annandale. Since I was doing my flanking maneuvers and never caught the main body of hashers, I got back to the finish before Shitty-Shitty-Bang-Bang. Boy was I bummed out, no little Shitty Shitty to relieve my thirst. But alas it was not more than a flash before the good old truck arrived with the explicit mission of getting Big Bird a beer. Shortly there after the hashers began to cum in, finally they were all in except for Slip Knot who was weezing on trail. Our search and rescue team will recover him later. After taking some notes for the trash, I started passing out the spiritual words. After a good time of drinking, and just socializing, Spinal Tap, Cyclops, and GBOF called the group to circle. Spinal then called the hares forward: Perky and Grease My Pussy came forward to BE RECOGNIZED. After we FINALLY got them into the circle, the group was asked to answer that old question of "What did you think of that run?". As all hashers have come to understand, the age old response of "What a Shitty trail!" sprang forth from the group. After some solemn deliberation Spinal Tap, & Cyclops asked GBOF for a note (which was "Why were the born so….") and the hares drank, and the sight was good. Cyclops then called the Virgins forward, we only had a few this week because of the weather and the location (not virgin friendly). Their vitals are listed below:

NameWho Made Them Come Temporary Hash Name
Mike (just) John Cinderella (show me your Perky Pussy)
Bill (just) Alex & Roach Motel Trio Twist (show me your Roach)
Thomas Speedie Edie Comes To Quickly (show me your Speedo)
Ed (just) Mike & Roach Motel Don't Turn Your Back On Her (show me your Back Side)

Cyclops then asked for a note, and they drank to "There The Meanest Their A Horse's Ass …..", it was fun to watch the VIRGIN Class of the 606th hash downed their beer together forever. Welcome Virgins, come often. We had several VISITORS French Tickler from Rabat, Comer Simpson from Rabat, Octabussy from Rabat, Life Wanker from New Deli, and Valery Adjakidgle from Berniese West Africa. Cyclops asked for a note, and they drank to "Sally In The Alley …..". We had several Farewells (some of which were RE-DOS): Rude Boy, Generator, Perky, Grease My Pussy, (just) Max Green, and (just) Dan Parks. For their devotion and spirit we sang "They may be a joy to their mother, but ……". It was good, if you are in the area ever again stop by and chug a beer with us. There were several long time no see's: they included Road Map, Trojan, See Dick run, Keyless Entry, and Squidley Didley. A special note for Squidley and Keyless Entry because they are getting married next weekend, Don't forget your good old hash buddies once you are hitched and have the kiddy pops rug rats to distract you!!!! Anyway, the No seer's drank to "10 Toe's". We had several violations, Cinderella's Big Bird Turd and Keyless Entry, #2 for forgetting a trash can at a beer stop, Vominatrix for wearing clothes at a hash, and a group of hashers for stretching after a hash (do they think this is a race thing????).

There were two namings, the first was for (just) Adrian. Bad Dog and others told us stories about her mother and nasty names. After a lot of fun we came up with the following possible names (1) Mommies Little Darling, (2) No F*cking Taste, (3) Prime & Humper, (4) F*cking My Mother, (5) Bad Bitch, (6) F*cked By My Mother, (7) Mother F*cker, and (8) Mother Mucker. After LOTS of dilebration and voting we narrowed it down and then had a final run off. The winner is; hence forth and forever more in the White House Hash and the world of hashing you will be known as:

Bad Bitch

Wear it well!!! The second was a spontaneous thing where (just) Dan (Parks) was being toasted for his departure when the group said NAME HIM, and we did and it was good. There was one and only name that we wanted, hence forth and forever more in the White House Hash and the world of hashing you will be known as:

Monica's Pimp

Enjoy the tricks!!!! Our yellow shirt for racing was a NO SHOW, so wait another week for the racing news.

Awarding Of The Hashit - The hashit was missing in action so we DID NOT AWARD IT. Exhibit A & B has it and she was a NO SHOW. I hope she gets some common sense and comes again SOOOOON (like next week - when you read this it will be this week). I am SOOOOO sad about our missing in action friend the hashit, will I ever see you again????

View from the ON ON ON - The location was the Sunset Bar & Grill. The deal was $5 and you got lots of cheap beer and discount hamburgers. I really used the beer portion to my advantage. My impression was that the crew had a great time. I really enjoyed the smiley face the Grease My Pussy put on the back of my hand, it was SOOOO cute!! Vominatrix and I (Big Bird Turd) performed the up close and live shorts exchanging act for the crowd, it went over OK. Speedie Edie was lamenting on her upcoming departure to finish college, we will miss you girl. Mellow Foreskin Cheese was working the Wisconsin crowd. Roach Motel was crushing the hearts and minds of all the eligible suitors in the bar. Go girl chew up those skanky men, show them which sex is in charge!!!! Other than some wait time for the burgers and food the evening was GREAT FUN. After several hours of great social interaction the crowd thinned and the hash was over for another week.

In my CONSTANT REMINDER section I would like to thank all of the skinny dippers at the Tri-Hash-Alon. It was a great time, and Vominatrix was awesome. Also hello again to Speedy Edie for being the most persistent person in the hash trash that I have ever encountered. Speedy Edie is leaving us this week to go back to college for her final year, be good girl and come back at XMAS to say hi. We will miss your smiling face and your zest for hashing memories. Roach Motel also deserves a line or two for her man killing abilities. Hey girly where did you learn all of those "Black Widow" techniques. I also do not want to forget Missed Erections, we have not mentioned your heyneness for some time now. Is there anyone else who wants to be included in the trash EACH WEEK, if so let me know and you will get in my CONSTANT REMINDER section.

On, On, Big Bird Turd

RECEEDING HARELINE

#608 August 24; 6:30 PM Hares: Pay Per View & Tidy Bowl, Start: TBD, On-On-On: TBD
August 31; 6:30 PM Hares: Working The Bar & Body Heat, Start: TBD, On-On-On: TBD
610 September 7; 3:00 PM LOOKING FOR HARES
#611 September 13; 2:00 PM Red Dress Champagne Recovery Hash (Hares For Run: OTH4-Nun Knocker & F*cking Nobody Hares For Walk: Spinal Tap & Hasher Humper) Location Near Springfield Mall Area
#612 September 20; 3:00 PM LOOKING FOR HARES
#613 September 27; 3:00 PM LOOKING FOR HARES
#614 October 4; 3:00 PM LOOKING FOR HARES
#615 October 11; 3:00 PM Hares: Pussy Wipped & ?, Start: TBD, On-On-On: TBD

WE ARE ALWAYS LOOKING FOR HARES. If interested, contact GBOF at 703-876-4772.

CUMMING EVENTS

DC Red Dress Weekend Of Madness - September 11 through 13, 1998 BIG Weekend with Lots Of Hashing And Fun. Plan For It NOW! Friday September 11th 7:00 PM Full Moon Hash and Party Theme Languerie Run; September 12th Red Dress Hash: Sunday 13th White House Red Dress Champagne Brunch Recovery Hash and Bash.

Octoberfest & Kuala Lumpur Extravaganza - September 24 - October 10 Drinks On Me Bud is putting together a 3 week package for 25+ hashers to attend the Octoberfest in Munich and other fun stuff before heading to the Interhash in Malaysia. See DOMB if you are interested. He has an AWSOME package for the whole thing!!

Interhash '98 - October 2-4; The Mother Hash, Kuala Lumpur H3, hosts; Join hashers from around the world for the 60th Anniversary of Hashing! Contact Rob Stott, +60-3-618-5650; or mail Jo Doraisamy, PO Box 40, Ampang PO, Ampang, Malaysia 68000. Registration is now $215 US (give or take a dollar for postage etc), to late for a cost reduction you last minute wankers.

Virginia Interhash Weekend of October 2, 3, and 4. Location is Glen Maury Campground in Buena Vista. This is just off I-81 between Staunton and Roanoke. Cost is $69.69 till September 15, $85.69 after September 15. September 15 cutoff is so we can have custom made giveaways prepared. Lots of beer, food, beer, Hashing, beer......

Americas Interhash 99 Pittsburgh PA Details to follow.



Back to the Hash Trash Index

(or to the non-table version of the trash index)