IN BEER WE TRUST
WHITE HOUSE HASH HOUSE HARRIERS

Run #607
The Working The Bar "GOODIE GOODIE GOODBY HASH #3"

Location: Capital Hill, The Surrounding Streets, & Bullfeathers

HOT INFORMATION

GET YOUR HASH INFORMATION ELECTRONICALLY - Contact GBOF via email smythe_andrew@birdengineering.com, to be added to the WH4 electron list (Submit First & Last Name, Your Hash Name (if you have one), and put "GBOF" in the subject line, make sure you send your email address).

RED DRESS RUN INFO: The 5th annual DC area Red dress run will be Saturday, September 12, at 3 pm. The start will be at Lulu's New Orleans Cafe, which is located at 22nd and M Streets, NW. If you register before September 5, the cost will be $25. After that including the day of the event, the cost will be $30. The Red Dress Run will be the climax of a weekend of special outfit events: Friday, September 11 will be a full mOOn pre-lewd lingerie hash hared by the Killer B's. Sunday, September 13, there will a boxer shorts recovery hash and champagne brunch. Registration forms for the Red Dress Run are available on the White House and Mount Vernon web pages, or you can contact Black Box at 703- 533-2107.

SKYDIVING OPPORTUNITY: from (just) Chris; Anyone who is interested in Skydiving September 19, as part of a Hash Group should be making their reservations in the next week or two. Call Skydive Virginia at 540.967.3997 or email Tonney Boan (tboan@rica.net).

• If you can grasp the concept of having "HALF-A-MIND" you CAN qualify and meet all requirements to join us in HASH MADNESS, otherwise who knows.
• If you are an exceptional runner - you won't standout at a HASH, but you will probably have one hell of a lot of fun.
• So . . . if you'd like to spice up your running program with fun, good company,new surroundings, and physical challenge, try hashing. Just remember two things. . . never wear new shoes to the hash! and . . . never wear a hat in the circle when drinking!

HASH HISTORY: GOALS OF THE HASH
From the 1938 charter of the Kuala Lumpur Hash House Harriers

• To promote physical fitness among our members
• To get rid of weekend hangovers
• To acquire a good thirst and to satisfy it in beer
• To persuade the older members that they are not as old as they feel

View from the Pack

LET ME REPEAT MY OPENING SENTENCES FROM THE TRASH OF A WEEK AGO!! The rain Gods were once again messing around with our sacred day, will they never learn the importance of a hash day to us mere mortals? At about 3 in the afternoon, I began to feel sorry for Working The Bar, Late Cummer, and Vominatrix. But knowing them as well as I do, I knew that their female cunning would prevail and that they would cum through it all in true hash fashion. In this case the fashion was slinky black dresses with those cum through it all stains adorning the frontal breast area. Enough of my Cum-Cents, on with the show. After a short Pack View, we have a new cumer who is doing the rear show. DangeRously Close will lead us through that side of the hash. In addition I asked the brew crew to add a few words about the pain and effort they put into the brewery side of things just to make us happy and wet our whistles.

As we gathered inside, outside and all around Bullfeathers it became obvious to me that even with the less than acceptable weather, we were going to have a BIG hash. Black Box was taking the $3 donations because Blazing Straddles was up in MASS with her man aka John Handcock. GBOF was looking for senior mismanagement to lead the circle, and I was just enjoying all of the people. After some confusion with the hares about the trail, we circled up with Watergate as our honorary CIRCLER PERSON. With some help from her friends she lead us in a rousing Father Abe song. Then after some quick explanation about circles and x's we were off up First street toward the Capital. It is always a glorious day when hashers are amuck in the Capital of the free world. As I took survey of the assembled masses moving up the street I recognized several in the group, they included: #2, Amnesia, Hawaiian Puke, Road Map, WhereTheFukArWe, No Genitals, Goofey, Blazing Straddles, GBOF, Hollow Point, Speedy Edie, Dirty & Harry, Trouser Snake, For Sale Or Rent, Bad Dog, Mellow Foreskin Cheese, Rubber Maiden, Das Beaver, Agua Nino, Noah's Arc, Champagne Charlie, Eats It Raw, Watergate, Yeast Injection, Barl-A-Dil-Do, Exhibit A & B, Missed Erections, US Boobs & Oral Report, Stool Sample, Two Lips On The Dyke, Bad Bitch, Raise My Titanic, Captain Titanic, Black Box, Dangerously Close, Dirty & Hairy, Bavarian Bush, Ich Liebe Dick, Drinks On Me Bud, For Sale Or Rent, Leisure Suite Larry, No Genetials, Roadmap, Tick Cock, Latin Analyst, Wild Bill Hickeycock, Spits It Out, Pay Per View, Sticky Lips and a lot of (just) people. I was running alongside a (just) person who was semi limping because she had a broken toe. She didn't want to miss a hash, good attitude, go girl go!! As we circled the Capital several of the guards were overheard asking some of the members of our group if this was a hash where all of the people go around running in red dresses. We told him wait a month and then SEE IT ALL FOR REAL!!!

As we approached the Courthouse, we were treated to a preplanned hash song rendition of All-O-Wet-Ta. Our two lead characters were Drinks On Me Bud and Vominatrix. Vomo was very reserved because she did not want her employer to know that she was a hasher (shame on her). The Bud Man really took that song to new heights. It was a joy to see ALL of the hashers joining in on this one. After we finished our song, we were off down 3rd Street to the Capital Reflecting Pool. It was a pleasure to watch Sticky Lips gliding down the street with that sleek cat like body just striding out at full speed. As we rounded the Reflection Pool I struck up a conversation with Watergate and For Sale Or Rent, we were enjoying the ambiance of the whole thing, and it was GOOD! As we ran down Independence I saw Trouser Snake being picked up by the Man for "J" walking picky, picky, picky. The Snake Man talked his way out of that and was quickly on trail again. As we wandered down 5th to A, I began to wonder where the beer stop was. To my pleasure as we came onto 8th I picked up the sign to the beer check. I was pleased. Overall the beer stop was good. I chatted with this one new cumer who thought we were too stuffy. I tried to tell him to give us a chance, finally she agreed. The Walkers came along as the runners were leaving. As we came back down North Carolina I saw the pack spread pout for blocks and blocks, it was NEAT. Vominatrix and I were running together as sort of semi sweeps. It wasn't much farther that we turned back onto 1st and we were done.

View from the Rear

Hello. This View from the Rear cums to you from DangeRously Close filling in for Black Box while she is busy being the Cash Mistress - and helping out in many other ways I am sure - with the Red Dress Run.

On Saturday at MVH3's trail, I did have an opportunity to get the following quote from her, "I would have called it the Monsoonica run, and you can write that!" Well, it was indeed another rainy Monday trail. I was traveling into the city via metro, and the rain was cumming down so hard the driver even slowed the train to a crawl. This and the fact that I wasn't sure where to go upon exiting the metro, caused me to worry about being late. However, when my train finally arrived and I departed, I ran into Slip Knot and together we spied Mellow Foreskin Cheese and another hasher on their way up the escalator. We caught up with them and MFC led the way. As we waded across 1st Street (at least I think it was 1st street!) I spied Late Cummer in her beeeeutiful blue dress and pearls and realized we were in for the "Monica Hares" trail. Way to go hares -

As most of us were signing in, the early arrivals were in the bar watching the news for sightings of Clinton and quotes of the day's testimony. What a day it had been on Capitol Hill!

It stopped raining in time for a semi-dry version of Father Abe in the ally next to Bull Feathers and finally we were off. The rain had washed away most of the marks, so Working the Bar led the walkers through the streets. FWBs included Black Box, Kiel Bastard, just Nancy, myself (DangeRously Close), and one or two others whose names I don't know. There were a few walkers in the middle whose names I don't know (sorry everyone!) and bringing up the tail were Meat Puppet, who appeared to be sick, and Exhibit A & B, keeping him company and carrying the Hashit. We passed the Library of Congress (on several sides) and I think that is where most of the walkers ewwed and ahhed over the beautiful plants and gardens. (Biggest ivy I had ever seen!) Discussions on trail were varied, but included the Red Dress Run and a "what's happening with the packers" conversation going on between Black Box and Kiel Bastard which most of the walkers chose to stay out of. WtB led us through a very nice section of homes where we overtook a pedestrian who ducked into a front yard to let us pass, and then into another alley to the beer check. The walkers had beat the runners to the beer! We egged on the FRB's as they arrived then departed for the trek back. Upon being given a choice by WtB to either go back the way we had cum or go a different route, the walkers chose a different route and passed a wonderfully architectured office building just as we noticed two pedestrian police officers ahead of us. Quickly all the walkers except Exhibit A & B disposed of their cups of beer. (There was some story told later about Meat Puppet and Exhibit A & B - still carrying her cup of beer - actually walking with the officers and the very observant officers never even noticed the cup of beer!) The walkers then crossed the street where WtB semi-mooned the Capitol Hill Club. All I can recall after that is that the walkers arrived back in the alley near Bull Feathers before the beer van! And, as is becumming a White House tradition, the cops showed up during the circle so everyone switched gears to a rather lengthy Kum-Ba-Ya which influenced a naming (Cum By Ya). Soon after, most everyone adjourned to the On-On-On in Bull Feathers. Thank you Big Bird Turd and Black Box for asking me to write this. Again, sorry to all the walkers whose names I don't know and who were left off this View from the Rear. I will try to do better in the future.

On-On, DangeRously Close

"View From the Back of the Bus"

It's been a long hot summer with an inordinate amount of rain on Monday evenings this year. Though I might provide you with some insight to the "Brew Crew".

What does "Brew Crew" duty entail?

Previous Driver!
Hopefully the previous driver remembered to do a quick inventory of supplies in the van (Beer, Soda, Chips, Cookies, Cups etc) and dropped an e-mail to inform you of what to expect when you pick up the van. (Like, YOU need to buy cups and soda's besides getting the beer, water and ice this week.) Depending on who is Brew Crew on a particular Monday evening you can plan on a driving of between 10 and 50 miles from work to pick up the van. For several of us that usually means taking a half day off from work to get the van ready for the evening. Once you get the van you need to fill the water containers, get the ice and drive into DC to pick up the beer for the evening. Figure on 1.5 to 2 hours to complete this and head for the start. (Pray that there aren't any serious accidents/traffic tie-ups on the beltway or your planned route to the start.)

Now is when the fun really begins.
Lately it seems like the hares are really trying to stump the Brew Crew. "Word of advice to the Hares --- Just because you walk or drive by the location of the "Beer Check" everyday does not necessarily mean that everyone else knows where it is." Directions need to be a little more specific than "it's on the corner of 6th and D" This is Washington DC - --- "Which 6th street (NE/NW/SE/SW)? Additionally, if there is a particular place that you want the Beer Van, mark the location in some manner, (Chalk/Flour). We try to please but haven't totally mastered mind reading yet. We're still working on it.

Hare: "How far apart should the beer checks be? How far from the circle?"
Good question Hares... A word of advice, "Scotty informs me that the transporter is down for repairs! Parts are on order and are not expected to be available before the millenium." Therefore, the beer van must be driven form one location to another for the foreseeable future. If you can run from one location to another in less than 20 minutes, don't expect to see the beer van when you arrive. It generally takes about 5 minutes to break down and pack the van once everyone departs…(keyword being everyone not just the FRB's) and about 5 minutes to set up again at the other end. Depending on the distance, traffic, lights, one way streets etc figure 10-15 minutes driving time between locations. Give us a break, throw in a Back Check, a long bad trail or something if you need to slow the FRB's down a little.

Hare: What problems do you have on the Brew Crew?
Here's a few examples of things that have happened in the last few months: Actions of the pack (a.k.a. things that really piss off the Brew Crew)

Wasting water: a.k.a. Water fights.
Its hot out the water is cold lets throw a pitcher of water on someone. If you want to have water fights, bring your own super soaker and your own container of water. The water is for people to drink. We have a limited supply of containers and often there is no place to refill the containers during the hash. Leave the water for drinking.

Washing your muddy hands off inside the water coolers.
(Very Bad Offense!!!!!) One would think this is self explanatory. However, it has happened on more than one occasion this summer. Soooooooo---- if you fall down and get your hands dirty, and it really bothers you, pour some water into a glass and use that to wash your hands off instead of trashing a 5 gal container of water & don't mind sharing.

Puddle jumping on a rainy day.
Yes we realize that we are talking to hashers here, and muddy puddles are made to be jumped in. However, look where you are. If the muddy puddle is in front of the beer van, and you splash the muddy water into the pitchers of beer and all over the Brew Crew, don't be surprised when you get yelled at and shut off.

Police Call… a.k.a. picking up after you leave.
There are always trash bags available normally one is tied to the back door of the van and one is tied to the passenger door. Use them not the ground. If they are full let us know and we'll get some more out.

Hare: What happens when the circle is over?
If there is any water left (See above) we try to quickly rinse out the mugs and pitchers before we put them back into the van. [Honest officer---I wasn't drinking---- what you smell is the residual alcohol soaked into the carpet of this van, and the pitcher of beer someone poured on me. "I wasn't drinking!!!!!"] Translation---Be nice to the Brew Crew" So far we haven't been stopped. (NUFF SAID). After the ON- ON the Brew Crew for the day gets to wash all the mugs and pitchers, clean the taps, empty the ice water out of the garbage cans, inventory the contents of the van. Return it to the parking place and pass the info to the next driver for restocking. Plan on another 1.5 to 2 hours for this. Have a nice week :>)

On-On WhereDaFakHawe

View from the Circle

We knew we were finished when a Monica Leud-Win-Ski look alike in a slinky black cum stained dress directed up a dirty, dark and secluded alleyway. The REAL question that we all were asking ourselves was, "would this alley protect us from the Capital Hill POLICE MAN". Only circle time and luck would tell the real story. Being as curious as I am, I quickly ran up the alley to check out the site. It was in fact VERY small, and had HUGH water puddles all around our one and only FIRST LADY of the HASH Shitty-Shitty-Bang-Bang. Brew crew was working their wonders with Wheredafakhawe in TOTAL control of the situation. But everyone who was trying to get beer was dodging those WET pot holes, what a scene!!!! I concluded that all was well in the alley, so I was off to my vehicle to secure the sacred words of the week and my scribe book. In about 10 minutes I was back passing out the words of wisdom to the assembled mass of wet hares and hounds. I was also hocking my hats, all in all it was a normal pre circle with everyone enjoying the brew and companionship of other hashers. Do to the fact that there were NO senior Mismanagement members present GBOF solicited the services of the one and only Watergate Lady to do us the honors. So MS Watergate called us all to circle, and it was good, and it was crowded and TIGHT. Watergate called the hares forward: Working the bar, Vominatrix, and Late Cummer came forward to BE RECOGNIZED. It was a joy to watch all of the Leud-Win-Ski's cum forward with the evidence be-cumming so obvious. After we all settled down with our crude and lewd jokes, the group was asked to answer that old question of "What did you think of that run?". As all hashers have come to understand, the age old response of "What a Shitty trail!" sprang forth from the group. After some solemn deliberation Watergate and GBOF asked the crowd for a note (which was "Why were the born so….") and the hares drank, and the sight was good. Watergate then called the Virgins forward, we had LOTS of VIRGINS this week. Their vitals are listed below:

GBOF then asked for a note, and they drank to "All A Zumm Zumm Zumm....", it was fun to watch the VIRGIN Class of the 607th hash downed their beer together forever. Welcome Virgins, come often. We had NO VISITORS who were recognized. There was one special PUNK violation for No Genitals and No Butts No Glory, for PUNKIE HAIRY. WOW, have those two gone off the deep end or something????? They came forward and the entire circle made them drink to "Why Were They Born So……", my question exactly, "why were they born at ALL". Next we recognized Champagne Charlie for bloody knees, he hobble to the circle and drank for his trip-up on trail. We had a 100th mug awarding this week. The lucky and persistent hasher was Tick Cock. Mr Cock you were able to RISE to the occasion a century worth of times (I'm impresses with your get it upness).

There were TWO namings. The first was for our one and only (just) Michelle. This was a very straightforward event because we had a story from Bad Dog about where this fine young lady came from. In this case it was Zimbabwe, but that is too straight so the group decided to slant things another way and changed it to Zim-Boob-Way. Hence forth and forever more in the White House Hash and the World of Hashing you will be known as

She drank and was doused to "Her Right Tit...". The second naming was for (just) Tim. This naming took some time to get warmed up to the naming boiling point. In fact there was some doubt that it was going to happen at all. We heard stories about being tall, about the twilight hour and also about cannon balls. But what really made thing happen was the arrival of the cops in the middle of the naming. To pass the time our one and only GBOF took charge and lead us in several renditions of the spiritual song "Gum-By-Yad". Immediately after the COP DEPARTURE the nominations rolled in, the included: (1) Twinkle, Twinkle Little Pinkie, (2) Nose Job, (3) Gum-By-Yad, (4) Cop Pleasers, (5) O-Lord-I-Believe, (6) Bad Whore Day, (7) Been F*cked By Him, and (8) Cum-By-Yah. After some solemn deliberations we made a decision. Hence forth and forever more in the White House Hash and the World of Hashing you will be know as

Don't leave any dress stains as you cum and go. The drinking and pitcher pouring was to the tune of "10 Toes up and 10 Toes Down".

Awarding Of The Hashit - The hashit FINALLY showed up. Exhibit A & B brought it back along with her pretty face and 2 big round ones that we have all missed for the past several weeks. Because we were invaded by the POLICE PIGS, we had to do the hashit do- do very quickly!!! The nomoo's included (1) Exhibit A & B for staying away so long, (2) Trouser Snake for "J" walking and getting caught by the pigs, (3) GBOF for screwing around with pack arrows, (4) Champagne Charlie for blood on trail, (5) Leisure Suite Larry for the electric shock of the day and (6) Spinal Tap for a late mismanagement show-up. After a QUICKIE deliberation the winner is the Spinal Man. See you next week Tapper. We did the FLASH DANCE version of Swing Low, blink and it was over. The circle broke quickly and the crowd was off to the On- On-On and/or HOME sweet HOME (Blackie Box, I am talking about you. We miss you so in the On-On-On).

View from the ON ON ON - The location was Bullfeathers just down the alley and up the street from the circle. I really think they called the cops on us to get us in the bar plunking dollars down sooner rather than later (are they capitalists pigs or what????). The deal was cheap hamburgers and happy hour (so to speak) beer prices. The place was nice and the crowd was large and we stayed late into the night. Unfortunately our JERK President had to address us during our On-On-On. Why do these politicians work so hard at interrupting our hash get togethers??? My impression was that the crew had a great time. It was Speedie Edie's farewell and boy did she get BLASTED. Watch it kid, alcohol has a kick if you don't watch your step!!!! Mellow Foreskin Cheese was working the Wisconsin crowd once again, Drinks On Me Bud was planning a skit for the Interhash in KL, Latin Analyst was wooping it up with the pseudo Mitre crowd that she and Per-A-Set convinced to come, and the Brady Bunch was getting ready to call it a summer. All in all it was a good time. Other than some wait time for the burgers and food, the evening was GREAT FUN. After several hours of great social interaction the crowd thinned and the hash was over for another week.

In my CONSTANT REMINDER section I would like to thank all of cummy Monica's (Working It, Vomo-Lady, and the true Late Cum Stain)for elevating the Slinky Black Dress to higher and higher heights of cumness. Also, once again, I want to say GOOD-BYE to Speedy Edie (the most persistent person in terms of getting her name in print ) as she heads back to California to complete her education. Good job showing up Exhibit A&B, why weren't you the one getting All-O-Wetted??? You do such a GOOD job showing off you honors, and I do so admire the symmetry of you 2 big round honors. Vomo was so afraid of losing here job that we did not get the TOTAL show you would have provided the gathered masses. TOO BAD!!!! If there is anyone else who wants to be included in the trash EACH WEEK just let me know and you will get in my CONSTANT REMINDER section. No promises if you will like it.

On, On, Big Bird Turd

RECEEDING HARELINE

WE ARE ALWAYS LOOKING FOR HARES. If interested, contact GBOF at 703- 876-4772.

CUMMING EVENTS

DC Red Dress Weekend Of Madness - September 11 through 13, 1998 BIG Weekend with Lots Of Hashing And Fun. Plan For It NOW! Friday September 11th 6:30 PM Full Moon Hash and Party Theme Laungerie Run; September 12th Red Dress Hash: Sunday 13th White House Red Dress Champagne Brunch Recovery Hash and Bash.

Octoberfest & Kuala Lumpur Extravaganza - September 24 - October 10 Drinks On Me Bud is putting together a 3 week package for 25+ hashers to attend the Octoberfest in Munich and other fun stuff before heading to the Interhash in Malaysia. See DOMB if you are interested. He has an AWSOME package for the whole thing!!

Interhash '98 - October 2-4; The Mother Hash, Kuala Lumpur H3, hosts; Join hashers from around the world for the 60th Anniversary of Hashing! Contact Rob Stott, +60-3-618-5650; or mail Jo Doraisamy, PO Box 40, Ampang PO, Ampang, Malaysia 68000. Registration is now $215 US (give or take a dollar for postage etc), to late for a cost reduction you last minute wankers.

Virginia Interhash Weekend of October 2, 3, and 4. Location is Glen Maury Campground in Buena Vista. This is just off I-81 between Staunton and Roanoke. Cost is $69.69 till September 15, $85.69 after September 15. September 15 cutoff is so we can have custom made giveaways prepared. Lots of beer, food, beer, Hashing, beer...... MESSAGE FROM "Pink Panther". OK - You Wankers, Get those applications in for the VIRGINia INTERHASH. I know you all can't afford to go to The BIG one in KL. You can drink just as much or more BEER here at home. We need you application early in order to personalize your giveaways. So send that blood type in (along with you hashcash) Get the application from our web page . http://members.aol.com/starwank/7h4page.htm. If you need us to send you the apps -- give me your address and it will be done. ON ON --- /// -- > Pink Panther

InterAmericas Hash 99 September 3-6 1999, Hosted by http://www.transarc.com/afs/transarc.com/public/demi/html/ph3-home.html, Pennsylvania. Contact Jim "Whiff" Montgomery, (412) 431-7350, or "Dead Kennedy," e-mail brady@serviceware.com. Official address: InterAmericas Hash '99, John Olson, 723 5th St, Oakmont, PA 15139 USA. e-mail IAH99@webtv.net - Internet: http://www.interhash.simplenet.com/REGFORM.html (rego form) MESSAGE FROM "Moon". Another 1000 years down the poop-chute and Pittsburgh is bracing itself for the celebration of the century! Just wait and see what Tittsburgh has in store for you... There'll be enough beer to drown you and your ancestors back to the primordial spooge from which they were spawned, enough shiggy to clog a waffle tread, more meals and treats than Christmas Eve in Hedon and, perhaps most importantly, everyone's gonna get crude, lewd, and stewed--Burgh style! Wahoooo!!! Get ready for AIH '99 in Tittsburgh USA, Labor Day Weekend 1999. Cum one, cum all, 'cause we gonna have a ball!!!

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