Date: August 24, 1998
Hares: Pay Per View, and Tidy Bowl
Location: Lower Capital Hill Area To Include DC Sights
| 3 Simple A,B, C's Of Hashing (1) If you can grasp the concept of having "HALF-A-MIND" you CAN qualify and meet all requirements to join us in HASH MADNESS, otherwise SEE A SOCIAL WORKER. (2) If you are an exceptional runner - you won't standout at a HASH, but you will probably have one hell of a lot of fun. (3) So . . . if you'd like to spice up your running program with fun, good company, new surroundings, and physical challenge, try hashing. Just remember two things . . . never wear new shoes to the hash! and . . . never wear a hat in the circle when drinking! |
GET YOUR HASH INFORMATION ELECTRONICALLY - Contact GBOF via email smythe_andrew@birdengineering.com, to be added to the WH4 electron list (Submit First & Last Name, Your Hash Name [if you have one], and put "GBOF" in the subject line, make sure you send your email address).
SEPTEMBER FULL MOON: Friday, September 11, from 6:30 to 11 pm at the Forest Glen Ballroom in Silver Spring, Md. The is $15 and includes beer, pizza, and dancing to the Gene Pool Zombies. As a prelewd to the Red Dress Run the next day, this will be a LINGERIE hash. So be sure and wear your prettiest, laciest, frilliest lingerie, and bring a FLASHLIGHT. The HARES will be those Pesky Killer B's. The Forest Glen Ballroom is where White House holds its annual Holiday Party. Directions: Take I-495 towards Maryland. Get off at exit 31B North on Georgia Avenue. Immediately get into the left lane [which can be tricky!] and take a left at the first traffic light onto Forest Glen Road (Route 192). Go over the railroad tracks and the Beltway. Bear left at the fork, where the street changes names to Linden Lane. Go up the hill past the pagoda. Just after the next stop sign, turn right into the parking lot and look for the deviants. The ballroom is on the left side.
RED DRESS RUN INFO: Fifth Annual D.C. Area Red Dress Run - Saturday, September 12, 1998, 3 pm. The start will be at Lulu's New Orleans Cafe at 22nd and M Streets, NW, near Foggy Bottom. Avoid the rush and the price increase by registering early. If you register before September 5, the cost will be $25. The cost will go up to $30 after September 5. Registration forms will be available at the hash from Black Box or at: "http://www.monumental.com/janus/dcreddress".
SKYDIVING OPPORTUNITY: from (just) Chris; Anyone who is interested in Skydiving September 19, as part of a Hash Group should be making their reservations in the next week or two. Call Skydive Virginia at 540.967.3997 or email Tonney Boan (tboan@rica.net).
The gathering of the group was a delight to watch, and we were actually back to the scene of the last hash, CAPITAL HILL. Finally the WH4 is running in DC. The group gathered in the alley to do our FATHER start up song. It was GOOD. Then after some quick explanation about circles and x's we were off across 2nd street toward the City. As I was running along I observed Hairy Budha walking, I asked why he was walking, and his reply was "I just feel that way", Budha man are you ok. As I took survey of the assembled masses moving up the street I recognized several in the group, they included: Wilbur, GBOF, Barvaian Bush, Loonie, Das Beaver, #2, Amnesia, Hawaiian Puke, Road Map, WhereTheFukArWe, No Genitals, Goofey, Blazing Straddles, GBOF, Hollow Point, Speedy Edie, Dirty & Harry, Trouser Snake, For Sale Or Rent, Bad Dog, Mellow Foreskin Cheese, Rubber Maiden, Das Beaver, Agua Nino, Noah's Arc, Champagne Charlie, Eats It Raw, Watergate, Yeast Injection, Barl-A-Dil-Do, Exhibit A & B, Missed Erections, US Boobs & Oral Report, Stool Sample, Two Lips On The Dyke, Bad Bitch, Raise My Titanic, Captain Titanic, Black Box, Dangerously Close, Dirty & Hairy, Bavarian Bush, Ich Liebe Dick, Drinks On Me Bud, For Sale Or Rent, Leisure Suite Larry, No Genetials, Roadmap, Tick Cock, Latin Analyst, Wild Bill Hickeycock, Spits It Out, Pay Per View, Sticky Lips and a lot of (just) people. The (Just) crowd of un-named included: Susan, Beth-Ann, Heather, Julie, Anne, Virginia, Deb, Tracy, Julie, Trisha, Nancy, Mike, Denise, Amy, Reneta, and Getnta. I was running alongside a (just) person who was semi limping because she had a broken toe. It was (just) Amy and she was doing well for her ailment, good show girl!! As we entered China Town the pack got lost and we milled around for some time, finally the FRB's figured it out and we were off. At this point I saw DOMB cut up an alley and from that point on he was GONE on the twilight zone. DOMB I did not know you were a SCB.
As we crossed 5th and F I saw Goofey come flying buy on his in line skate. Go guy you are really on fire. As I crossed E I observed Stool Sample and (just) Kristine talking about potatoes, and to my surprise their favorite was TWICED BAKED, would you believe that. Shortly thereafter I was hit by the Trouser Snake and his BIG water gun. No not his natural one, his plastic replica. As I came up by the DOE I started talking to two virgins (just) Nancy and Mike. They had been sent by Sticky Lips. I asked how they like the hash so fare and they just giggled. I was so surprised that they weren't taking it more seriously. I then observed Tess's Smirnoff's Smirk in a slinky Monica top and there was NO CUM stain, so STRANGE. , Shortly there after I saw Wilbur just ducking along blowing his Duck Whistle. NO not his natural one ALSO his plastic one. Leisure Suit Larry was not happy about me taking notes regarding his behavior, he saw "get your ASS out of here", be gentle Leisure I am only doing my job.
Shortly there after we were under the underpass drinking beer at the beer stop, IT WAS GOOD. One of (just) Levy's friend squealed on here for having a cell phone on trail. I checked it out and yes she did. I asked her why she had it and her answer was, I am expecting a HOT call for a SPECIAL guy". That my dear, Levy is acceptable. I asked her to squeal on someone and here sacrifice was (just) Mike. Mike was considered to be "JUST YUMMY" buy a sweet guy at the beach.
Shortly thereafter we were off, and I observed For Sale Or Rent leaving last. Quickly I observed (just) Beth-Ann the tall blonde beauty running up a hill talking on her cell phone. I asked who she was talking to and she said Bill Clinton and that they were having phone sex. I said WOW, and asked her if she did much 1-900 work. Her answer was no I do it for fun and can be reached via 1-800 access. Beth-Ann give me you NUMBER soon. We then passes the wedding church of Poop Deck and Screws Everyone, it brought back good memories of hashers getting hitched. That my dear kids is a happy ending.
We after that we turned back to the Mall and crossed back to 2nd Street and were done.
View from the Rear
This is DangeRously Close once again with your view from the Rear...
Well, the rain gods finally got the message and blessed us with a dry Monday. However, Mother Nature (obviously not a hasher) decided 800 degrees was suitable for hashing!
After the usual Father Abe ritual, trail began with the walkers splitting away from the runners right from the start. Leading the walkers were: just Jennifer, just Jen, just Nancy, Eat It Raw (I think), and myself (DangeRously Close). There were a few walkers in the middle of our little band, whose names (as usual) I don't know, and/or don't remember. (Please forgive me!) Bringing up the rear of the Rear were the walking harriers; Kiel Bastard, Spinal Tap, and Cum By Ya.
As I and the other FWBs walked toward Constitution Avenue, there was some skepticism among the ranks because the pack had headed in the other direction. However, upon turning the corner onto Constitution, the sacred flour we did spy. Like the previous Monday, trail lead us past the US Courthouse with it's montage of news vans, lights, and power cords. We passed the Federal Trade Commission where we saw "Song Check" written on the pavement. Thus, some walkers decided that a very medloious "Laaaaa" was appropriate. Later it was discovered that we were on trail going backward! We ventured off trail and on we went crossing the streets until we hit the Mall. Walking across the Mall, we overtook a man and young boy playing ball. Seeing us cumming, the man grabbed the boy and pulled him away from our path. Boy, imagine what he would have done if the pack had been headed in his direction!
After deciding not to hash onto the carousel, we once again found flour and followed it into the spectacular side gardens of the Smithsonian Castle building. I knew this area well, and decided that even though trail then turned across the street and headed up into L'Enfant Plaza, the walkers should first be treated to more beautiful landscaping and led them into the gardens at the back of the building. It was here that we came across a young woman bathing her children in the fountains! For several of the walkers - me included - the fountain spray was a welcum shower of cool water on a VERY hot and humid evening. Never let it be said that hashers can't find water when it is needed! While the walker harriettes were enjoying the festive display of foliage, the harriers - Spinal Tap, Kiel Bastard and Cum By Ya had decided to stay on trail and thus were now ahead (who said head...) of the harrierettes going up into L'Enfant. Trail lead us downstairs and under the Plaza ramps to the beer check. Once again the walkers beat the pack to the beer.
The location of the beer check was great except for the trapped air under the plaza and extreme heat. We all seemed to be able to ignore the rather loud mutterings of a homeless guy who evidently thought we had decided to hold a party at his place! One of the hares did offer him a loaf of french bread (provided by Spits It Out, leftover from the VA Wine Festival) and a cup of water, to which the fellow yelled obsenities at her. Little does he know that by doing so, he lost his chance at being offered a cup of beer after the pack had departed.
Anyway... the walkers were rounded up and out we headed, departing L'Enfant on the lower level with the walking harriers once again in the lead. This is about where just Susan decided to join the harriettes. Passing the Virginia Rail train station, it was suggested that the walkers be lead up into the station, however, the heat prevailed and on trail we remained. All walkers trekked back toward the Mall. While crossing the Mall, headed back in the direction of the "Song Check" we had mistakenly discovered earlier, the walkers were overtaken by the runners. The FRBs gathered in the distance at the Song Check, but upon seeing the rest of the pack cutting off that portion of trail, they gave up. The walkers were also smart enough to skip it. The heat was getting to us all. By now, we were all in sight of the On-In, and so... on in we went, to the alley between My Brother's Place and a parking garage. Down-downs were done in the usual fashion and afterward most adjourned inside at My Brother's Place for the On-On-On.
Thus went another Capitol Hill trail. Once again, I apologize to all the walkers whose names I don't know and to those left off this View from the Rear. Please remind me when you see me and I'll try to remember to include you next time.
On-On, DangeRously Close
As we turned up the second street alley we knew it was over and the circle was to come. The gang was milling around our one and only Shitty-Shitty-Bang-Bang. Yeast Injection and Orange Line To New Hurlington were slaving away in support of our beer drinking habit. I concluded that all was well in the alley, so I was off to my vehicle to secure the sacred words of the week and my scribe book. I also got ALL of the new WH4 hash hats I had JUST picked up at the store to give out. In a flash I was back passing out the words of wisdom to the assembled mass. I was also hocking my hats, all in all it was a normal pre circle with everyone enjoying the brew and companionship of other hashers. Finally Cyclops & Had-A-Madam called the hares forward: Pay Per View, and Tidy Bowl came forward to BE RECOGNIZED. After we all settled down with our crude and lewd jokes, the group was asked to answer that old question of "What did you think of that run?". As all hashers have come to understand, the age old response of "What a Shitty trail!" sprang forth from the group. After some solemn deliberation Cyclops and Had-A asked the crowd for a note (which was "Why were the born so….") and the hares drank, and the sight was good. Had-A-Madam then called the Virgins forward, we had LOTS of VIRGINS this week. Their vitals are listed below:
| Name | Who Made Them Come | Temporary Hash Name |
|---|---|---|
| Julie | (just) Trisha | Mary Poppins (Fertil Garden) |
| Melisa | (just) Allie | Dancing Babe (Test Results) |
| Roluewa | (just) Tom | Club Dead (Dead Head Job) |
| Nancy | Sticky Lips | Double Pumping (Squeeze like A Pig) |
| Gary | Micro | Puny Prick (Foot In Ball) |
| Virginia | (just) Julie | Who's Afraid Of The Big Bad Wolfe (May Be A Worry For Us) |
| Mike | Nancy | West Virginia (Nags Head) |
| Chris | (just) Kyle | Likes Me (Rear View) |
| Chris #2 | (just) Tracy & Debbie | Sipping & Dripping (Bionic Friend) |
| Michelle | Wilburr | Beastiality Is Best (Just Take Me Home) |
| Jo Anne | Hurly Girly Man | But Floss (Lab Thighs) |
| Denise | Bad Bitch | Wip Me, Strip Me, Make Me Write Bad Checks (Consult This) |
Had A Madam then asked for a note, and they drank to "All A Zumm Zumm Zumm....", it was fun to watch the VIRGIN Class of the 608th hash downed their beer together forever. Welcome Virgins, come often. We had Three VISITORS, there were Penis Colota from New Orleans, Hoover Lips from Warsaw Poland, and Jerkin Gerkin from Hong Kong. They drank in their new WH4 souvenier mugs to the tune of "Why Were They Born….". We had lots of violations: Jimmie Hendrix drank for getting out of the Air Force SOOOON!!!!! Working The Bar for a birthday, you look good for 29, enjoy it!!! (just) Tracy for losing a scarf on trail. Cyclops for being a media slut. (just) Dan for lost porno movie tag. Goofy for skating through the hash. Fussy Bitch for being a BITCH. And finally, Put It Out for sacred ritual violations.
We had 2 namings, the first (just) Julius was a riot of levity. His potential names included (1) Toe Jam, (2) Camel Joe), (3) Tuns Boat, (4) Toe Job, (5) Filet Of Sole, (6) Pet-A-File. (7) Pet-A-Feel, (8) Foot Lose, and (9) Bunion Rings. After our voting process, Hence forth and forever more in the White House Hash and the World of Hashing you will be know as:
The second was Drinks On Me Bud's work mate, (just) Michelle, this lady has class, wit, and a BODY to match (WATCH OUT FOR HER)!!! Our choice for this LADY were: (1) Take Me Home, (2) Holder Cup, (3) Bonna- A-Pa-Titty, (4)Beer Boob, (5) Mother Jugs, (6) 2 Kegs No Wait, (7) Peaks & Valleys, and (8) 3 Cups. After MORE solemn deliberations we made a decision. Hence forth and forever more in the White House Hash and the World of Hashing you will be know as:
The drinking and pitcher pouring for our namees was GREAT!!! Wear your hash names well and do them honor.
Awarding Of The Hashit - The hashit FINALLY showed up. We went to work quickly on the selectee: Our nominated choices included (1) 2 Kegs No Waiting for a 1 hash naming, (2) The Hares beer check violations in some ones Lion Room???, (3) some just guy for calling the hash a run, and (4) (just) Don Miller for losing his PORNO MOVIE ticket. Well guess what, Don baby got it for the LOST MOVIE violation.
View from the ON ON ON. - The location was My Brothers just down the alley and up the street from the circle. The deal was $5 for all you can drink beer and the food was on your own. Most people ordered and ate in the cool "Covered patio room". It appeared that the gourmet hamburger plate was the rage of the day. LOTS of hashers come on-in for the On-On-On. The Cheese Heads to include Mellow Foreskin Cheese and Kiel Bastard were watching the Packers Game on TV (They LOST so it was a gloomy place for the moldy cheese ones). Lots of VIRGINS came to our ritual, and it was good. Puts It Out was acting like his familiar ASS-H*LE self, our visitor from New Orleans was ABSOLUTELY having a blast. Pay Per View and Tidy Bowl were enjoying their leadership role (you both did a GREAT job on this one!!!). Drinks On Me Bud was planning a pre KL get together party at the Brogue, GBOF and US Boobs & Oral Report were enjoying each other, and Raise My Titanic came late to enjoy the PARTY and see the Good Looking Men. All in all it was a good time. Other than some wait time for the burgers and food, the evening was MEMORABLE. After several hours of great social interaction the crowd thinned (well after 12:00 MIDNIGHT) and the hash was over for another week.
In my CONSTANT REMINDER section I would like to thank all of the BEER at My Brothers, it was a FLUID evening. Also I would like to thank the ass *ole of the year, Puts It Out, for his sacrilege in the circle. For your bad manners may you ROT in a land where hashes have not been thought of!! Also let me say Das Beaver you and your gal friends were REALLY relaxing a LOT on the hood of the car, during the circle. Now that is they way to enjoy a circle, on your back horizontal waiting to get the hard facts. You were all very tempting. If there is anyone else who wants to be included in the trash EACH WEEK just let me know and you will get in my CONSTANT REMINDER section. No promises if you will like it.
On, On, Big Bird Turd
WE ARE ALWAYS LOOKING FOR HARES. If interested, contact GBOF at 703- 876-4772.
DC Red Dress Weekend Of Madness - September 11 through 13, 1998 BIG Weekend with Lots Of Hashing And Fun. Plan For It NOW! Friday September 11th 6:30 PM Full Moon Hash and Party Theme Laungerie Run; September 12th Red Dress Hash: Sunday 13th White House Red Dress Champagne Brunch Recovery Hash and Bash.
Octoberfest & Kuala Lumpur Extravaganza - September 24 - October 10 Drinks On Me Bud is putting together a 3 week package for 25+ hashers to attend the Octoberfest in Munich and other fun stuff before heading to the Interhash in Malaysia. See DOMB if you are interested. He has an AWSOME package for the whole thing!!
Interhash '98 - October 2-4; The Mother Hash, Kuala Lumpur H3, hosts; Join hashers from around the world for the 60th Anniversary of Hashing! Contact Rob Stott, +60-3-618-5650; or mail Jo Doraisamy, PO Box 40, Ampang PO, Ampang, Malaysia 68000. Registration is now $215 US (give or take a dollar for postage etc), to late for a cost reduction you last minute wankers.
Virginia Interhash Weekend of October 2, 3, and 4. Location is Glen Maury Campground in Buena Vista. This is just off I-81 between Staunton and Roanoke. Cost is $69.69 till September 15, $85.69 after September 15. September 15 cutoff is so we can have custom made giveaways prepared. Lots of beer, food, beer, Hashing, beer... MESSAGE FROM "Pink Panther". OK - You Wankers, Get those applications in for the VIRGINia INTERHASH. I know you all can't afford to go to The BIG one in KL. You can drink just as much or more BEER here at home. We need you application early in order to personalize your giveaways. So send that blood type in (along with you hashcash) Get the application from our web page ... http://members.aol.com/starwank/7h4page.htm If you need us to send you the apps -- give me your address and it will be done. ON ON --- /// -- > Pink Panther
InterAmericas Hash 99 September 3-6 1999, Hosted by "http://www.transarc.com/afs/transarc.com/public/demi/html/ph3- home.html", Pennsylvania. Contact Jim "Whiff" Montgomery, (412) 431- 7350, or "Dead Kennedy," e-mail brady@serviceware.com. Official address: InterAmericas Hash '99, John Olson, 723 5th St, Oakmont, PA 15139 USA. e-mail IAH99@webtv.net - Internet: "http://www.interhash.simplenet.com/REGFORM.html" (rego form) MESSAGE FROM "Moon". Another 1000 years down the poop-chute and Pittsburgh is bracing itself for the celebration of the century! Just wait and see what Tittsburgh has in store for you... There'll be enough beer to drown you and your ancestors back to the primordial spooge from which they were spawned, enough shiggy to clog a waffle tread, more meals and treats than Christmas Eve in Hedon and, perhaps most importantly, everyone's gonna get crude, lewd, and stewed--Burgh style! Wahoooo!!! Get ready for AIH '99 in Tittsburgh USA, Labor Day Weekend 1999. Cum one, cum all, 'cause we gonna have a ball!!!