Date: September 20, 1998
Hares: New Hurlington, Yeast Injection, Trouser Snake
Location: Streets & Parks In The Court House Area
GET YOUR HASH INFORMATION ELECTRONICALLY - Contact GBOF via email smythe_andrew@birdengineering.com, to be added to the WH4 electron list (Submit First & Last Name, Your Hash Name [if you have one], and put "GBOF" in the subject line, make sure you send your email address).
HABADASHER UPDATE:at Shirts & Sweat Pants for the 1998-1999 winter season will be by order form only. Hasher Humper is away at KL so see WhereTheFuckAreWe our temporary hab for details and to secure an order form.
We all began to gather in the parking lot behind Ireland's Four Courts at about 2:45. The crowd was good and I saw a lot of new faces. After paying my $3, I checked in with Cyclops and Black Box. All was well in hand. At about 3:15 Cyclops called the group to circle. The Octoberfest gang was called forward to lead us in Father Abraham. Each of them (Blazing Straddles, DOMB, Wilburr, and John Handcock) carried a part with DOMB giving us the climatic "OCTOBER" on the down take and "FEST" on the up take. It was quaint and it would warm us up for the LONG and WINDING road ahead. After almost No instructions we were off running down Wilson. Wilburr ran into an apartment complex that lead to a BT very quickly. As the group reformed a splinter segment was off across the street and immediately ran through a BT and entered the LOST "ZONE" just behind Bardos. It took a couple of minutes for Steamer to get the group refocused and on the other side of the street. As I was running I noticed another guy taking notes. As I came up to him and asked what he was doing, to my surprise he was a reporter for Business Week or some magazine and he was recording what we were all about. We talked for several blocks as we ran up Troy Street then he had ALL he wanted and he dropped out of the hash.
As I got refocused on the trail I saw Bramble Bush and Ball Buster just loping along. As I came upon them it became obvious they were talking BOY stuff. Heimen Dickover and Wilburr watch out. Very quickly we turned right onto Key Street. Vominatrix was amazed at the number of turns we were executing. I asked Blazing Straddles if she had any stories and all I got was "Not Me Babe", at which time I said "BULL" and she replied with "I always behave, don't I?". At this point I could take NO MORE of this goodie goodie stuff so I wander off to the next opportunity. Dirty & Hairy and I talked about his 41 bee stings he got at the Killer Bee hash. He appears to be OK with just some minor itching between his legs, this was causing him some anxiety. We then turned onto Quincy and began to run up hill, at this time I observed Heimen Dickover wearing a pretty star around his neck. Apparently that was his costume award for the Red Dress Chicken Feathers outfit he wore. I then saw a wonderful sight Tessa's Smirnoff Smirk running down the street with her midriff swaying like a professional belly dancer, what a great sight! Then low and behold there she was, No Genitals giving me some more shit as usual. Will this woman NEVER leave me alone. OK "NO LADY" you are a GREAT CHAIN PULLER!!! Will no one ride me of this pain in the butt?
As I looked back into the rearward crowd I saw Cyclops just striding along gently. As we began to move around the expensive townhomes along The Potomac I observed Dumb Blonde broken down because of the heat and pace of the event. At this point I knew we were in for a GOOD one.
I observed a lot of familiar faces and some (just) faces. The list I compiled includes: New Hurlington,Yeast Injection, Bramble Bush, John Handcock, Wilburr, Raise My Titanic, Yankers Away, Das Beaver, Chapaquidick, WhereTheFuckAreWe, US Boobs & Oral Report, Crash, No Genitals, Cyclops, Heymen Dickover, Harem Scarem, Bark-A-Dil-Do, Dumb Blonde, Goofy, Blowing In The Wind, Skipmar, Suck My Root, Steamer & Luci, Jestation Period, and Oral D.
In the (just) category I talked to Barry, Rosemary, Andrew, Bridgett, Bob, Scott, Kirstin, Rene, Dan, Bubbles, Ron, Jennifer, Karen, Dee and Bart.
As we entered the wooded area behind the townhomes I observed Skidmore gliding and gleefully singing ON-ON. As we went across a small bridge I observed a hasher blowing a whistle and responded with "the horn blows what about the driver", at which time he responded with "it's all in the lungs", there must be some logic there someplace. As we continued up the woods I saw Wilburr pooped out and walking, hey guy you must have had a hard night. As we came up the hill a little further I saw Vominatrix's Old Apartment, and then it was gone as we descended into a gully and cam up on the trail beside Route 66. I saw (just) Kirstin smile as she was trying to get up that hill and on the trail. I looked up and said, "yes this is a real test today". She grinned and we both continued on in our own worlds.
Just as I was sure we were on true trail, I observed Harem Scarem come down onto the trail from the apartments to the left, and he was asking, "has anyone seen flour"; this was not a reassuring situation. But due to the fact that everyone was continuing down the trail I concluded that it must be true trail. For about a half-mile we saw a lot of checks, but none of them turned us, just on on on down the asphalt path. It was a little boring, if you ask me. I came upon Wilburr again and he was STILL wining about it being HOT and no Beer Near. To a certain degree, I also felt that we had gone far enough for a BN. Little did I know we still had over a mile to go?
The trail continued on behind the Lyon Village Shopping Center, and we FINALLY turned right up onto Lee Highway. About this time I saw Tick Cock on his In-Line Skates and I was extremely jealous. It was at least a half mile up this gradual hill until I heard Dumb Blonde yell "True Trail as he turned left onto 18th Street. Then Right on Quincy then a jog back left onto 18th. There were a few more maneuvers left then right, but finally we turned right onto 17th Street and saw the Beer Near mark. Joy of Joys, and low and behold it was Mellow Foreskin Cheese's House that Shitty Shitty Bang Bang sat on. As I cam upon the earlier arrivals I saw S'Not, DOMB, Champagne Charlie, and Blazing Straddles. It was quite a long time that passed as the stragglers continued to come into the BN area. We ran out of water very quickly, and with the heat beer was only a partial hit. Heimen Dickover who had broken off to the left at Lee Highway became LOST IN SPACE and finally wandered back on true trail. But, during his travels he was able to pick up a potential new hasher (just) Ron. (Just) Ron seemed amazed about this hashing thing. It was well over 15 minutes before we began to consider taking off for our return leg home.
As we preparing to head out, I heard a few good quotes, "I'm tired of getting lost, I plan to stay on true trail the rest of the way in" and "The only way I can get cooled of is to dump water on my head, where is more dumping water?". They sort of summed up the hash.
As we took off we headed back toward 66, it was amazing to watch this large group of bunched up people who were just trying to hang on until this hash was over. I understood it, I was one of them. After crossing route 66 I saw Ball Buster and Wilburrr peal off to the left into short cutting land. The group turned left onto Washington and our LONG FINAL leg was now beginning. We passed the American legion Post 139, the site of the ON-ON-ON for the 1997 Dalmatian Run hosted by S'Not. As we passed this landmark I was running with Cyclops and Champagne Charlie and we knew there was almost a mile ahead of us, WOW. But, there is always some sunshine even in darkness. I found a soft rubber small football. It was a diversion that brought a smile to my face. I gave it to a returning hasher Jestation Period. We then went through the Clarendon area, I took my water-saturated hat off and began to try and dry it off by flicking it back and forth. Apparently I was "Showers On Trail" for the hashers near me so I heard a lot of wining. Yes I did it and I will cease and deist in the future. I passed Yankers Away about a 1/4 mile out. She had her little one on trail, what a great sight. A little while later we passed RIP OFF HEAVEN Joseph's, and finally I saw the On In markings. At this point I pealed off to the Court House Metro Parking Lot where my car was so I could freshen up and get the trash.
We FINALLY finished the first marathon after the Red Dress Run. At least Shitty Shitty Bang Bang was hard at work with brew crew doing an ABSOLUTELY outstanding job quenching our thirst. Everyone was changing, talking or drinking. But they were having fun. I began to pass out the trash, sell hats and generally push hashing to LOTS of Virgins. After some time Cyclops called the circle to order and the festivities began. The Hares were immediately called forward. Trouser Snake the mastermind of the long distance turkey trot was nowhere to be found. New Hurlington and Yeast Injection had to endure two down-down's for the trail. And, guess what, they enjoyed the fun of it all. Cyclops asked the assembled hashers what they thought of the trail and as you would expect "what a shitty trail" sprang forth from the assembled masses. The hares drank well, we enjoyed the sight. Next it was VIRGIN time, and we had lots of them this afternoon. Their vitals are listed below:
| Name | Who Made Them Come | Temporary Hash Name |
|---|---|---|
| Steve | Yankers Away | Sperm Head (Ornaments) |
| Nancy | How Much Time | Draw A Number (Rest Of The Curly Hair) |
| Dan | Tony Robinson | Blue Balls (Woodie |
| Bart | Eager Beaver | Tongue In The Honey Pot (Kick Stand) |
| Andrew | Bridgett | Polo Ralph Dick Lover (Dick) |
| Bridgett | Eager Beaver | Leave It To Beaver (Spanish Fly) |
| Dee | Kate | Kiss Me Kate (Other Dimples) |
| Kate | My Own Free Willy | Self Sex (Cigar) |
| Karen | Kate | Kate Does Double (Amherst This) |
| Jen | Her Self Induced Finger | Elastic Arm (Tits) |
| Ron | Heymen Dickover Pick Up | Heymen This (Pick Up Line) |
Our virgins were instructed on the finer points of rapid beer consumption. Welcome Virgin Class Of #613, enjoy the hash. We had 4 Visitors, they included (1) (just) Dan from Angola, (2) Stick My Root from Korea, (3) Well Hung (one of Our own deportees) from Guatemala, and (4) Oral D from Korea. They drank well and really enjoyed their mugs. Puck Wheat our yellow jersey front running guy did not show, those Humpers are really a loose bunch. Our Red Dress HEAVY DUTY HELPERS were recognized, Black Box and WhereDaFukAreWe came forward to be cheered as they drank. The sight was good! We then called the hares back into the circle because New Hurlington and Yeast Injection were engaged yesterday. We wanted to say GREAT NEWS and wish you both ALL THE BEST. They drank with arms entwined and love beaming out of each of them.
We had two namings, and they were both memorable. In the first one (just) Jennifer was brought forward and USB&OR told us some stories. After some time we had several options that included (1) In The Office, (2) Hair Trap, (3) Hairy Body, (4) Top Drawer, (5) Grassy Ass, (6) Hairy But Lickable, (7) Shave Me Elmo, (8) Gives In The Office, (9) Anal Analyst, (10) Butt Licker, and (11) Foreskin Goat. After several passes up and down the list, we made a decision. Hence forth and forever more in the WH4 and the world of hashing (just) Jennifer will be know as
In the second naming (just) Amy was brought forth and GBOF and her male roommate told us LOTS of good stories. Our collective options included: (1) Grizzly Snatch, (2) Hot Drop Of Cheese, (3) Lick My Cheese, (4) Take Me Drunk I'm Home, (5) Cheese Date, (6) Cheese Whiz, (7) Give Me Your Whiz. After some solemn deliberation we chose the most appropriate one. Hence forth and forever more in the WH4 and the world of hashing (just) Amy will be know as
We had 4 Cinderella's, they all drank out of their shoes and the sight was good.
The hashit did not show once again. Pussy Whipped and Tboss, you guys are screwing up the apple cart. Will no one rid us of this lazy hashit click. Hey guys make sure you bring it next week!
location was Ireland's Four Courts. It was very nice, a little crowded but fine for our tastes. The deal was cheap pints. Unfortunately there was no food deal, but it was reasonable so everyone had a good time. There were lots of LATE SHOWS, Zim-Boob-Wa, Hawaiian Puke, Spits It Out, For Sale Or Rent to name a few. They just love our company. As I roamed the room everyone was really into the socializing thing, and New Hurlington and Yeast Injection were going over their engagement thing. Good For Them!!!! After some time the crowd thinned and the hash was history for another week.
In my CONSTANT REMINDER section I would like to thank (ONCE AGAIN) the ass *ole of the year, Puts It Out, for his sacrilege in the circle. I will NEVER forgive you guy!!!! May your genitals ROT IN HELL!!! ALSO I want to CONGRADULATE you all for you behavior in the circle last week. See you are trainable. Also, THANKS Yankers Away, for bringing (just) Steve, we can now continue our Hospital Party traditions for a long time to cum. I also want to thank #2 for his HOUSE WARMING BASH, good show old man. When is the next one guy, I missed this affair and want to catch up. If there is anyone else who wants to be included in the trash EACH WEEK just let me know and you will get in my CONSTANT REMINDER section. No promises if you will like it.
On, On, Big Bird Turd
#615 October 4; 3:00 PM Hares: Put It Out, Cum-By-Ya, & [just Adrian]
Start: Alexndria On-On-On: TBD
#616 October 11; 3:00 PM Hares: Pussy Wipped & ?, Start: TBD, On-On-On:
TBD
#617 October 18; 3:00 PM LOOKING FOR HARES
#618 October 25; 3:00 PM Post-Marine Corpse Marathon Recovery Hash,
Hares: Rude Boy & Next Week
#619 November 1; 3:00PM LOOKING FOR HARES
#620 November 8; 3:00PM Hares: Leisure Suit Larry & ?: Start: Oakton
On-On-On: Patriot's Cafe, Fairfax VA
WE ARE ALWAYS LOOKING FOR HARES. If interested, contact GBOF at 703-876- 4772.
Interhash '98 - October 2-4; The Mother Hash, Kuala Lumpur H3, hosts; Join hashers from around the world for the 60th Anniversary of Hashing! Contact Rob Stott, +60-3-618-5650; or mail Jo Doraisamy, PO Box 40, Ampang PO, Ampang, Malaysia 68000. Registration is now $215 US (give or take a dollar for postage etc), to late for a cost reduction you last minute wankers.
Virginia Interhash: The Virginia Interhash is in two weeks Oct 2/3/4 -- get that cash in here to avoid the 85.00 late fee. 7H4 will extend the 69.00 fee until the Oct 25th. We are able to get you your personalized Dog Tag up until that time only. After the 25 the cost goes back to 85.00 smackers. Weather permitting -- we will have a GOOOOD TIME !! Go to the7H4 webpage to get more details, location and events. "http://members.aol.com/starwank/7h4page.htm" Location is Glen Maury Campground in Buena Vista. This is just off I-81 between Staunton and Roanoke. ONON to the VIRGINia Interhash - 98 Pink Panther
October DC Area Full Moon Hash: Friday October 9th In Crystal City. Hares: Pussy Wipped & Late Cummer. Details to follow.
Richmond H3 250th Hash: Saturday October 10 Time 2:50 PM to 2:50 AM Start: Farmers's Market in ShockHo Bottom. Check Out The Web or Call Late Cummer for details.
DC Area Hash House Harriers Halloweenie Hash & Party: Saturday October 31, 6:00 PM Start: United Bank Parking Rear Lot (Temporary & Reston Ave. - 1 block from Reston Town Center). It's Halloween, Wear A Costume!!! Cost $15.00 which covers Band (Corkscrew'd & The Gene Pool Zombies), Pizza, Pasta, Oreos, etc. and LOTS OF BEER!!! ON-ON-ON The Fairfax Hunt Club Lake Fairfax Drive off Route 606, 2 blocks from Route 7. Bring A Flashlight. Mark Your calendars More Details To Follow.
InterAmericas Hash 99: September 3-6 1999, Hosted by "http://www.transarc.com/afs/transarc.com/public/demi/html/ph3-home.html", Pennsylvania. Contact Jim "Whiff" Montgomery, (412) 431-7350, or "Dead Kennedy," e-mail "brady@serviceware.com". Official address: InterAmericas Hash '99, John Olson, 723 5th St, Oakmont, PA 15139 USA. e-mail "IAH99@webtv.net" - Internet: "http://www.interhash.simplenet.com/REGFORM.html" (rego form) MESSAGE FROM "Moon". Another 1000 years down the poop-chute and Pittsburgh is bracing itself for the celebration of the century! Just wait and see what Tittsburgh has in store for you... There'll be enough beer to drown you and your ancestors back to the primordial spooge from which they were spawned, enough shiggy to clog a waffle tread, more meals and treats than Christmas Eve in Hedon and, perhaps most importantly, everyone's gonna get crude, lewd, and stewed--Burgh style! Wahoooo!!! Get ready for AIH '99 in Tittsburgh USA, Labor Day Weekend 1999. Cum one, cum all, 'cause we gonna have a ball!!!