Date: October 11, 1998
Hares: Pussy Whipped & Dangerously Close
Location: Streets & Parks In Southeast Region Of DC
GET YOUR HASH INFORMATION ELECTRONICALLY: Contact GBOF via email "smythe_andrew@birdengineering.com", to be added to the WH4 electron list (Submit First & Last Name, Your Hash Name [if you have one], and put “GBOF” in the subject line, make sure you send your email address).
HABADASHER UPDATE: Sweatshirts & Sweatpants for the 1998-1999 winter season will be by order form only. See Hasher Humper immediately if you need an order form or any other details!!!
1999 WHITE HOUSE MISMANAGEMENT: Anyone interested in becoming a member of the 1999 White House Mismanagement should see Spinal Tap to let him know what you are interested in doing. PS I need a VOLUNTEER to become the 1999 Scribe. Who among all of you strong brainy people can handle this SPECIAL position?
It all began as we gather at the Potomac Avenue Metro Station. I arrive a tad early (what a surprise, the Interhash may have done some good in getting me organized) and at time the crowd was scarce. Black Box was taking sign-in’s for Blazing Straddles who would arrive later due to a LONG training run in preparation for the Marine Corps Marathon (which will be some time in the future). Spinal Tap and Hasher Humper arrived all decked out in Interhash garb. Missed Erections arrived via pedal power. Just before we were getting ready to circle up Late Cummer drove by and handed Dangerously Close some hot off the press hash trashes. She could not attend the hash but wanted to make sure we all got the word, good for her.
Finally the group was assembled, and it numbered about 55 hardy souls. Spinal Tap called Fussy Bitch forward to lead us in Father Abraham. It was a spirited rendition to say the least!! After a few words of explanation by Pussy Whipped we were off. It took Tick Cock a few minutes to find the way, which was across a major road. As we dodged the oncoming cars I knew this was going to be an urban hash of the most dangerous kind. We headed up Pennsylvania toward the Capital. I observed Goofey on his famous HASH ROLLER SKATES, he seemed to be having too much fun and was not expending much energy.
As we approached 11th Street we took a right, unfortunately Heymen Dickover did not follow us and he was off in space for some time. The trail wandered through many townhouse areas where the spectators were absolutely confused about who and what we were!! As we wandered the streets I was amazed by the amount of Marijuana I was smelling. I almost got high without even inhaling by myself. I now know how Billy Boy felt when he said he never inhaled. We finally turned right on 15th street and wandered through a cemetery where several in the group were observed pissing on J Edgar’s tombstone. I also observed Wilma, Octopussy, Nouakchott, and Comer Simpson really tripping out behind a group of trees, what were you doing a foursome?? It just goes to show you how little respect for law and order the hash really has.
We then followed a road that lead to the DC United Soccer Field, there were LOTS of Sococer fans trying to get to the game. BUT this was a BAD TRAIL and only after GBOF raise wholly hell with his hares did we get it straighten out and began to head back up the street to Pennsylvania Avenue. We quickly found true trail and began crossing another BUSY Street with no regard for our safety. But luckily we ALL made it, NO splats on the road occurred. Cock Force One was the rare exception who almost got hit, but it was just a near miss, she is always near missing everything.
The remainder of the trail was one alley after another, with run down housing areas providing a break in the boredom. Harem Scarem seemed to be totally bored with the hash, but he was really enjoying observing the young ladies. We Finally saw the on-in signs that lead us to a big asphalt parking area across the street form the start and we were done hashing for another week.
We FINALLY finished, and all of the group came back alive and without knife wounds. What a surprise!!! As we came into the school yard for the ON- IN. I gathered up the trashes that Late Cummer had deposited just prior to the start of the hash. I passed them out as I was saying hi to lots of people that I had not seen for some time. Beer was being distributed from Shitty Shitty Bang Bang and all seemed good with the world. After a short beer refreshment period Spinal Tap with the help of GBOF called the circle to order. The hares were asked to come forward and Pussy Whipped and Dangereously Close were identified and drank for such a shitty trail. The virgins were then asked to come forward, their vitals are listed below.
| Name | Who Made Them Come | Temporary Hash Name |
|---|---|---|
| Cliff | Naval Jelly | Dude O Ranger |
| Roger | Nevil | Jerry Falwell |
| Newton | Herself | Fallen From the Tree |
| Renita | Newton | Getting Them Excited |
Our virgins were instructed on the finer points of rapid beer consumption. Welcome Virgin Class Of #616, enjoy the hash. We had 2 Visitors, they included (1) Nouaklhott and (2) Wilma from Carolina Trash. They drank well and really enjoyed their mugs.
Puck Wheat our yellow jersey front running guy did not show, those Humpers are really a loose bunch. Our Red Dress HEAVY DUTY HELPERS were recognized, Black Box and WhereDaFukAreWe came forward to be cheered as they drank. The sight was good! We then called the hares back into the circle because New Hurlington and Yeast Injection were engaged yesterday. We wanted to say GREAT NEWS and wish you both ALL THE BEST. They drank with arms entwined and love beaming out of each of them.
We had two namings, and they were both memorable. In the first one (just) Heather was brought forward and we heard several stories about her. After some time we had several options that included (1) Boston Strangler, (2) Boston Dangler, (3) Ride Em Cowboy, (4) Driving Ms Bitch, (5) Taste My Ass, (6) Sucks It In, and (7) Bend Me Over. After several passes up and down the list, we made a decision. Hence forth and forever more in the WH4 and the world of hashing (just) Heather will be know as:
In the second naming (just) Steve was brought forth and his friends told us LOTS of good stories. Our collective options for a name included: (1) It Depends, (2) Always Dependable, (3) Old Faithful, (4) Diaper Rash, (5) Depends On Me, (6) Lazy Mother F*cker, (7) Chaffed & Raw, (8) Whizz Kid, (9) Golde3n Shower, (10) Talcum Powder, (11) Potty Trained, and (12) Lode In His Pants. After some solemn deliberation we chose the most appropriate one. Hence forth and forever more in the WH4 and the world of hashing (just) Steve will be know as:
We recognized GBOF and Wheredafakhawe for their effort in keeping the hash going while many of us were off in Kuala Lampu Interhahsing. THANKS for the Help!!! We recognized Road Kill as a long time no see. Pussy Whipped lost his beer vessel some weeks ago, and it was returned to him in a spirited ceremony. He drank out of the item that LOTS of hashers had pissed in. The sight was good, don’t lose it again.
The hashit went to Lazy Mother F*cker (our newly named hasher) because he was caught pissing on J Edgar’s grave. He drank for his yellow discharge, bring it back next week.
The location was some bar over behind the train station. It was quaint, and the hash crew had a good time. The highlights were the removal of the hashit from Lazy Mother F*cker, he was not paying attention, , and the arrival Newt Gingrich. Beers were $2.00 for plain and house prices for the GOOD STUFF. Food was on your own. The group stayed for several hours and really seemed to enjoy themselves.
In my CONSTANT REMINDER section I would like to ask anyone who feels that they are NOT GETTING recognized to step forward and let me know!!!! I will then insure that you get attention. NOW regarding our INTERHASH crew, I want to say well done and welcome back. Drinks On Me Bud do you still have a LIVER? John Handcock, has your *ock fallen off yet? Wilburrr how many new songs have you mastered, and how man circle drinks did you consume? Mellow Foreskin Cheese, are you having fun yet? Perk A Set are you still speaking to me? Blazing Stradles have you recovered from your Ball Busting Experience?
On On, Big Bird Turd
#618 October 25; 3:00 PM Post-Marine Corpse Marathon Recovery Hash,
Hares: Rude Boy (BEING REPLACED) & Next Week – He is looking for
help!!!!!!!!
#619 November 1; 3:00PM LOOKING FOR HARES
#620 November 8; 3:00PM Hares: Leisure Suit Larry & ?: Start: Oakton
On-On-On: Patriot's Cafe, Fairfax VA
#621 November 15; 3:00 PM LOOKING FOR HARES
#622 November 22: 3:00 PM LOOKING FOR HARES
#623 November 29: 3:00 PM LOOKING FOR HARES
WE ARE ALWAYS LOOKING FOR HARES. If interested, contact GBOF at 703-876- 4772.
November Full Moon Halloweenie Hash & Party: Saturday October 31, 6:00 PM Start: United Bank Parking Rear Lot (Temporary & Reston Ave. – 1 block from Reston Town Center). It’s Halloween, Wear A Costume!!! Cost $15.00 which covers Band (Corkscrew’d & The Gene Pool Zombies), Pizza, Pasta, Oreos, etc. and LOTS OF BEER!!! ON-ON-ON The Fairfax Hunt Club Lake Fairfax Drive off Route 606, 2 blocks from Route 7. Bring A Flashlight. Mark Your calendars More Details To Follow.
Mardi Gras Madness IX: Feb 12-12 1999. Fussy Bitch is leading a trip to the great city of New Orleans to raise some hell and drink some beer over Mardi Gras. See here for details, it is a great time.
InterAmericas Hash 99: September 3-6 1999, Hosted by "http://www.transarc.com/afs/transarc.com/public/demi/html/ph3-home.html", Pennsylvania. Contact Jim "Whiff" Montgomery, (412) 431-7350, or "Dead Kennedy," e-mail "brady@serviceware.com". Official address: InterAmericas Hash '99, John Olson, 723 5th St, Oakmont, PA 15139 USA. e-mail "IAH99@webtv.net" - Internet: "http://www.interhash.simplenet.com/REGFORM.html" (rego form) MESSAGE FROM “Moon”. Another 1000 years down the poop-chute and Pittsburgh is bracing itself for the celebration of the century! Just wait and see what Tittsburgh has in store for you... There'll be enough beer to drown you and your ancestors back to the primordial spooge from which they were spawned, enough shiggy to clog a waffle tread, more meals and treats than Christmas Eve in Hedon and, perhaps most importantly, everyone's gonna get crude, lewd, and stewed--Burgh style! Wahoooo!!! Get ready for AIH '99 in Tittsburgh USA, Labor Day Weekend 1999. Cum one, cum all, 'cause we gonna have a ball!!!