Date: October 25, 1998
Hares: Roach Motel and Needle In Thread
Location: Iwo Jima Memorial, Rosslyn & The USMC Marathon Crowd
DON'T MISS OUT FINAL CALL FOR HASH BASEBALL CAPS If you want to order a "hash name or nerd name" embroidered Hash (White House, Full Moon, or Mount Vernon) Baseball Cap, See BIG BIRD TURD ASAP. If you desire, send orders via email to bwagner@grci.com. The cost is $12 pre paid before order goes in, colors are denim blue, navy blue, white, forest green, black and pinkish red.
CHECK OUT THE WAGNER BROTHER'S PARTY COMING IN EARLY NOVEMBER Don't Miss This Exceptional Event - Over 400 At The Last One!!!!! Details In UPCOMING EVENTS
GET YOUR HASH INFORMATION ELECTRONICALLY:- Contact GBOF via email at smythe_andrew@birdengineering.com, to be added to the WH4 electron list (Submit First & Last Name, Your Hash Name [if you have one], and put "GBOF" in the subject line, make sure you send your email address).
HABADASHER UPDATE: Order Your White House Sweats NOW!!! THE COLD WEATHER IS COMING SOON! Sweat Shirts & Sweat Pants for the 1998-1999 winter season will be by order form only. See Hasher Humper immediately if you need an order form or any other details!!!
1999 WHITE HOUSE MISMANAGEMENT: Anyone interested in becoming a member of the 1999 White House Mismanagement should see Spinal Tap to let him know what you are interested in doing. PS I need a VOLUNTEER to become the 1999 Scribe. Who among all of you strong brainy people can handle this SPECIAL position? PS: I also understand that we need a new Hair Raiser!
Due to that Marine Corps running event and the resultant parking issues, I missed the group start up and only caught up at the ON-IN. Therefore I will have to rely on my super cub reporters Bramble Bush, Dangerously Close, and For Sale Or Rent to rehash the hash with you. I will then cover the rest of the festivities. So READ ON and enjoy.
I was not sure if I was preparing for a Mount Vernon or an Over The Hump Hash when I first read the directions to last week's White House Hash. Will we ever return to the city and the boring concrete and asphalt of our Capital? But alas enough of that wining, lets rehash last weeks hash.
The trail led us from the IJ memorial across the street and through a wooded area up a steep slope. Hymen Dickover was remarking that there appeared to be poison ivy, but John Handcock pointed out that it was actually English ivy, big difference. Then we ran by the Quarter Deck restaurant, where Just Rob started salivating reminiscing about the good crabs and beer he's enjoyed there. The trail continued on the pedestrian bridge over Route 50, providing a good view of "No Tell Motel". The trail led through a neighborhood and over a brick wall, then down an incredibly steep and slippery section of woods. GBOF led some of the scardycat wankers through a kiddy playground short cut. The trail went on by the Newseum and by the Freedom Memorial. One wanker was seen reading the etchings. Finally the trail, which was thankfully short, led to the on-in. The FRBs (led by 3X) probably covered the trail in less than 20 minutes. A few of the FRBs somehow ended on a BT that led them to running the walker's trail backwards. This group, led by Hawaiian Puke, included Hymen Dickover and two or three others. They were in the front of the pack for most of the way, but they didn't find the on in until well after the last true trail hasher was in.
On-On and don't do this to me again BBT... Bramble Bush
HELLO fellow hashers! What a beautiful Sunday this was!!! Great day for the marathon and a great day to hash!
My day began very early.... in fact much earlier than I knew. I had forgotten to turn my clocks back!!! DUH!! I left my house at 7:30, to head out for a full day of activities, beginning with manning the beer/water check at Mile16... only it was NOT 7:30! It was 6:30. I proceeded to go into the grocery store for oranges and water, pumped gas, and even stopped for coffee before I realized it was an hour earlier. What a day this was turning out to be!
Meeting at the US Marine Corps Memorial (Iwa Jima) after the marathon was a neat idea. We congregated at the base of the memorial and were able to watch the parade of marathoners getting their photos taken by friends and family. There were quite a few OTHers (OTH did not have a trail today due to the marathon) and visiting hashers. There were alot of marathon folk, and friends and family mingling about and even some spread out taking naps. In the midst of this we did a quick version of Father 'Abe, received our instructions from the hares (who incidently told us very firmly that the walkers trail was VERY well marked in yellow!) and headed out in several directions seeking trail, leaving a pile of hash bags behind us. Having all the marathon folk there did make the start of trail rather confusing... but after a few minutes of stepping over and around the bodies, we did spy a large true trail arrow marked "Walkers" pointing off to the left.
Following the arrow's direction, we found no further markings... among the walkers at this point were Black Box and Spits It Out who took opposite directions seeking yellow. This is where the walkers split, with most trailing along behind Spits It Out, while I trekked along with Black Box in the direction the arrow had originally pointed. Black Box and I, DangeRously Close, soon found flour. BUT, it was white and we knew we were on the runners trail... Oh well. As we stomped along a foot-worn trail through leaves in a small patch of woods, we were overtaken by a biker. Now, what was a biker doing out in the woods like this you might ask?? Well, I turned around and what should I discover??? A BIKING HASHER! Burnt Sox! He joined Black Box and me as we climbed a small hill and then exited the woods onto a nice sidewalk. Trail led us up a very steep 12th Street, and right past my car. Hey, that flour wasn't there when I parked Or, was it?? Again, "DUH!"
Soon, we were then joined by Just Tom. The elusive flour had us searching once again. Finding a small spot, we continued to an intersection and with Burnt Sox scouting on his bike in one direction, we found the other direction to be true trail. We passed through a small street of townhouses, where a resident started questioning Just Tom. While Just Tom kept him occupied, the three of us kept trekked on around a narrow passage at the end of the building. Just Tom caught up and once again the four of us searched for flour. We found a few small spots and once again it seemed to disappear. Finally a short trail led us to woods, but we saw no way through. We walked along the edge and then far off to our left we heard Burnt Sox yell, "ON-ON". Through the woods we went, down a steep hill onto a sidewalk to once again find an intersection. Burnt Sox rode off in one direction while we headed another. Suddenly, Black Box and I spied a yellow chalk arrow and we cheered with glee. After all, we had been told that the walkers trail was VERY well marked with yellow, so we figured we'd have an easier time. Burnt Sox and Just Tom took off another direction and Black Box and I followed yellow. Much to our dismay, as we crossed streets and rounded corners, trail markings still seemed to be sparse.
We founds ourselves joined by two visitors; one a visiting hasher who had done the marathon, and another who is the wife of a hasher in town for the marathon. Our party of four came upon skating Goofy with Oreo. With their assistance, we climbed over a short concerte wall and ducked our way through a narrow passage into a parking garage. Our group was growing! Through the garage and over a catwalk we went. THEN, up ahead... what was that we were seeing???... A large group of hashers walking. Could they be on trail??? Now our group consisted of Black Box and I, the two visitors and Goofy & Oreo, Vominatrix (the one in the black tank top and shorts) who was the 38th woman to complete the marathon! Blazing Straddle was #515, Oval Orifice who was carrying a helium balloon to celebrating her 30th B-day and her sister Deep Throat, who ran with her for part of the marathon (DT was helping OO on the walker's trail--I think OO might have been cramping up... is that due to old age or having just run the marathon?? Later, the two left early--probably to go home and celebrate.) No Genitals, who ran the Chicago marathon 2 days earlier so she didn't do the Marine Corps, Watergate and a few others. We all followed trail through a very interesting section of the Journalism Newseum. It was here that we took a moment to oo and ah over the neat glass sculpture.
Walking along together kept us a much happier group but we seemed to be having trouble following trail. We sort of wandered a bit and then the husband hasher of one of the visitors came back out on trail to rescue his wife, and we all were able to follow in to the ON-IN to the cheers of the hashers already there. So went another sunny Sunday trail.
Congratulations to the many hashers who did the marathon. You all did us proud!
On-On and many happy trails... DangeRously Close
[I am including the following trash input regarding the QUALITY OF TRAIL MARKINGS and OTHER THINGS from For Sale Or Rent, GO GIRL!!!!]
This is just to clarify that the HARES did a darn fine job laying trail. There was only one area in all the of the WALKER's TRAIL that John (soon to be named ‘Holy Tit') and I could have missed, but we did not! Yes, flour was a wee thin and sprinkled ever so lightly after the 1st ped bridge over Rt 50, down to Ft. Meyer drive and then another left, up hill, on Wilson. But after that one would have thought that hares arrows were being used as flour.
After crossing that main drag just before the climb over the wall into the parking lot, low and behold 2 lost runners found us. They asked where the trail was. They could not find it. Just John and I were incredulous, ‘wow, we've had absolutely no trouble at all on the walker's trail. It was a good quest detecting the faint differences between yellow and white flour when the two trails merged and converged and then diverged over the last bit of trail behind the Newseum.
As one of the first walkers (okay, I'm one of the ones left of the '95 pack of walkers) a good trail was either well marked by the hares, the pack, or a combination. I personally have chastised many a hare - some gently with - ‘duh, ever heard of sweeping or marking checks', to …. ‘you're a f'ing a*hole'. Only have felt the need to do that once, the person has been laying trail for over 10 years and well, should know better! BUT ---- I will also make sure that the hares who lay a good trail, a well- marked trail also know I appreciate it. I might be labeled a whiner (wine - I'll have some of that). But maybe those of that opinion never layed a good trail!!!
I suggest maybe the Walker's trail be re-designated the WHINER'S TRAIL!! At least for last week. It also pointed out that many of the so-called runners are always way up front with the pack and never had to find trail on their own --- scary!! So leave them on their own and they can't find it.
On-On With My Two Cents…… For Sale Or Rent
As I climbed over the chain-linked fence to join up with the circle, I felt good know that I had finally found my brothers and sisters. And to top it off there was Shitty-Shitty-Bang-Bang. I quickly learned that the walking group was lost in the never-never-land. I felt this was a good time to get my car and begin to pass out the trash. I quickly ran to the vehicle came over to the apartment complex we were having the circle and convinced the security guard to let me into the protected compound. Shortly there after I was back at the circle passing out trashes and enjoying the company of lots of VERY SUCCESSFUL Marine Corps Marathon Runners. Congratulations to all of you! Finally Spinal Tap and GBOF called us to circle. The hares Roach Motel and Needle in Thread were called forward to hear us all complain about their shitty trail (this time it was ABSOLUTELY deserved). But in a short time, GBOF had them drinking to the tune of "here's to the hares". Spinal Tap then called all the virgins forward, and low and behold we had only ONE VIRGIN this week. Her vitals are listed below:
| Name | Who Made Them Come | Temporary Hash Name |
|---|---|---|
| Kate | Susan | Farting Dust |
Our virgin was instructed on the finer points of rapid beer consumption by Spinal Tap. She drank to the tune of "Al-A-Zuma-Zuma-Zuma", welcome Virgin Class Of #618, enjoy the hash. We had 11 Visitors, they included: (1) Rama, from Romania H3, (2) Tapsa Gospel, also from Romania H3, (3) Everybody Rides, from Orlando Original H3, (4) (just) Susan from Ottowa H3, (5) Roid, form Orlando H3, (6) Discharge, from Aloha H3, (7) Almost Perfect, from Los Angeles H3, (8) On Call, from Yongson H3, (9) My Cock Itches, from Lauderdale Full Moon H3, (10) Albert Ass-Stain, from OTH H3, and (11) Sucking Cock Upside Down, from OTH H3. They drank in their new free WH4 give-away souvenier visitor mugs to the tune of "Al- A-Zumma-Zumma". Y'al all come back and see us again some time.
Violations included: Roach Motel for snapping back when criticized about the markings on the walkers trail (see rebuttal by For Sale Or Rent). Marathon people about 15 for running and then having the energy to hash, what a stupid thing to do (CONGRADULATIONS, I am jealous). Amnesia for a "Size Doesn't Matter" joke, John Handcock for short cutting the marathon. Bramble Bush for tripping over a road cone on the marathon route. Exhibit A&B and Breathless for trying to get Big Bird into drinking trouble (HA HA you got yours). And last but not least, Quickdrawers for his KL antics.
We had a special presentation for Red Dress Support from the White House gang. The recipients were Black Box for admin and registrations organization and support, and Hasher Humper for t-shirts and item support. We gave them a specially engraved crystal glass and a bottle of wine. Thanks for the help. We had a 100th Mug awarded to Eats It Raw. We awarded the TOUR-DE HASH shirt for swiftest runner and first in to 3X A Lady, Heimen Dickover passed along the sweaty smelly shirt with a tear in his eye (I think he wanted to keep it). We also said good bye to a visitor Boob-A-Lube who has run with us for several weeks.
We had NO Cinderella's. We had three Birthdays Doctor Strangelove, Oval Orifice, and Bad Dog. The circle almost refused to recognize our birthday people when they heard that BAD DOG was one of them, but after much sensitivity training from Mismanagement the circle relented and sang to them all (even Bad Dog).
BUT WE DID HAVE TWO (2) NAMINGS:
(just) Jennifer was called forward and several of her friends ragged on her. Out of the name gathering process we had: (1) Dead Letter Bitch, (2) Shaft Me, (3) Stiff 50, (4) Mistaken Identity, (5) 50 Dollar Bitch, (6) purloined Letter, (7) Just Call Me Ralph, (8) 1-900-OOPS, (9) Lady Chatterley's Brother, (10) Zipper Code. After several cycles of the voting, hence forth and forever more in the White Hash and the World Of hashuinh (just) Jennifer will be known as:
NEXT: (just) John was called forward and we repeated the process the nominated names were (1) Monumental Tits, (2) Hole In One, (3) Kiddy Porn, (4) 69 Second Man, (5) Holy Tit, (6) Do It In 69 Seconds, (7) Speedy 69, (8) Monumental erection, (9) 69 SM, (10) Bush Wacker, (11) Tit Pooka, (12) Black Eyed Breast Man, (12) Ring Around The Titty, (13) 2 Hump Jump, (14) Porno Pages, (15) 69 Ring Me Ding Me, (16) Do Me Decimal System, (17) Black Eyed Pee, (18) Titty Porn. And: Hence Forth And Forever More In The White House Hash And The World Of Hashing (just) John will be know as:
Lazy Mother F*cker (our newly named hasher) did not SHOW - ONCE AGAIN, therefore we were not able to have our weekly hashit give-away contest. TO all, if you are ever SO UNLUCKY enough to receive this AWSOME Award, please return with it or designate an alternative driver for the next week. PLEASE don't deprive the rest of us of our weekly fun and games.
The location was Petibon's of Rosslyn 1911 N. Fort Meyer Drive. There was NO special deal so we were on our own. Let me tell you, we were on our own, the place was not prepared for our group. We completely overwhelmed them within a matter of 30 seconds (food service was slow and beer preparation was difficult). But being the easy going laid back group people we are, we all just BITCHED and BITCHED and BITCHED to each other until we got it out of our systems then everything was tolerable and the fun began. Everyone seemed to have a great time until Petibon's closed at 7 then the crowd began to thin and the hash was history for another week.
In my CONSTANT REMINDER section I am totally at the mercy of a few of you in the know. Several weeks ago (in the DC South East hash) it has been reported to me that we had a re-naming that I failed to cover in the trash, SAY IT ANT'T SO "Big Bird Failed To Get It Straight In The Trash". Well I am VERY anxious to make history correct, if history has been offended. So could the "PEOPLE IN THE KNOW" from that hash see me and give me the details and new name. THANKS!!!! PS: could it be Split Mama to:
I would also like to remind Cock Force One that Big Bird Turd has a good idea every now and then, so when he says "get in the car and he will take you to the circle", get into the car and don't wine!
The History Of Beer:
Now you can appreciate the importance of BEER throughout history.
On, On, Big Bird Turd
#620 November 8; 3:00PM Hares: Leisure Suit Larry, One No Trump & Dazed
And Confused: Start: Oakton On-On-On: Patriot's Cafe, Fairfax VA
#621 November 15: 3:00 PM LOOKING FOR HARES
#622 November 22: 3:00 PM Hares: Lip Service, & Needle In Threat: Start:
TBD; On-On-On: TBD
#623 November 29: 3:00 PM Hares: Cock Force One & [just] Craig Start: TBD
On-On-On: TBD
#624 December 6: 3:00 PM LOOKING FOR HARES
#625 December 13: 3:00 PM LOOKING FOR HARES
#626 December 20: 3:00 PM Hares: Had-A-Madam Start: Ellipse / Nat'l Xmas
Tree [outside Bubba's White House] On-On-On: TBD
#627 December 27: 3:00 PM LOOKING FOR HARES
WE ARE ALWAYS LOOKING FOR HARES. If interested, contact GBOF at 703-876- 4772.
WAGNER BROTHERS 7TH ANNUAL FALL BASH: Saturday November 14, 1998,
9pm - whenever.
Location: Rhodeside ,Grill 1836 Wilson Blvd. Arlington, VA (corner of
Rhodes St & Wilson Blvd. between Roslyn & Courthouse Metro stops) (703)-243-
0145 The Music of D.J. Greg Martin (i.e., dancing)
Alcohol Prices: $2.50 16-oz. domestic drafts & bottles(*), $3.00 16-oz.
micro/premium drafts (*), $3.00 wine & rail drinks (*) NOTE: (*) ALL drink
prices include tax and tip
HOT: $5 donation requested. You Also Get: Light Hors D'oeuvres
Attire: Casual Dress,
Directions: Metro: Orange line to Courthouse. Walk East on Wilson Blvd.
one block past Bardo's. From DC: Roosevelt Bridge to Rosslyn/Key Bridge. Left
on Ft. Meyer Dr. Right on Wilson. Party on left near Exxon at Rhodes St. &
Wilson. From Georgetown: Take Key Bridge. Cross Lee Hwy. Right on Wilson.
Party on left near Exxon at Rhodes St. & Wilson. From Rt. I-66 East: Take the
Rosslyn Exit onto Lee Hwy, right on Fort Myer Dr., right on Wilson. Party on
left near Exxon at Rhodes St. & Wilson. From I-395 North: Take the Rosslyn
Exit (Rt. 27), follow signs for Rt. 50 West, exit in Rosslyn, turn right on
Lynn Dr., left on Wilson. Party on left near Exxon at Rhodes St. & Wilson.
From anywhere else, read a map.
Questions? Call: Jerry Wagner H: (703) 237-0948 W: (703) 631-2882
jcwags@tidalwwave.net or Bill Wagner H: (703) 527-4122 W: (202) 366-9357
bill.wagner@ost dot.gov.
UTAH SKI TRIP: January 11-18 1999 Bob "Stool Sample" Goodell is organizing a ski trip to Utah January 11-18. Cost is $800 for airfare, 5 days lift, 7 nites lodging, and ground transfer in Utah. Food, alcohol and equipment are separate. If interested, contact him at 703-465-1919 for more details.
MARDI GRAS MADNESS IX HASH WEEKEND: Feb 12-16 1999. Fussy Bitch is leading a trip to the great city of New Orleans to raise some hell and drink some beer over Mardi Gras. See Fussy for details (she has a handout that covers it all), it is a great time.
PANAMA HASH HOUSE HARRIERS 1000 RUN: March 5-7 1999. Quick Drawers is coordinating our participation as a group, more to follow. If this is anything like the Costa Rica 1000th "DON'T MISS IT"!
INTERAFRICA HASH 99: June 4-6 1999 In Zimbabwe, near Lake Victoria, See Mellow Foreskin Cheese for details.
INTERAMERICAS HASH 99: September 3-6 1999. Hosted by "http://www.transarc.com/afs/transarc.com/public/demi/html/ph3-home.html", Pennsylvania. Contact Jim "Whiff" Montgomery, (412) 431-7350, or "Dead Kennedy," e-mail "brady@serviceware.com". Official address: InterAmericas Hash '99, John Olson, 723 5th St, Oakmont, PA 15139 USA. e-mail "IAH99@webtv.net" - Internet: "http://www.interhash.simplenet.com/REGFORM.html" (rego form) MESSAGE FROM "Moon". Another 1000 years down the poop-chute and Pittsburgh is bracing itself for the celebration of the century! Just wait and see what Tittsburgh has in store for you... There'll be enough beer to drown you and your ancestors back to the primordial spooge from which they were spawned, enough shiggy to clog a waffle tread, more meals and treats than Christmas Eve in Hedon and, perhaps most importantly, everyone's gonna get crude, lewd, and stewed--Burgh style! Wahoooo!!! Get ready for AIH '99 in Tittsburgh USA, Labor Day Weekend 1999. Cum one, cum all, 'cause we gonna have a ball!!!
INTEREUROPE HASH 99: Early October 1999. Location central Turkey, Drinks On Me Bud is contemplating another group excursion, details to follow. If you missed Bud's KL trip, don't repeat your mistake. See Drinks On Me Bud for details.