Date: November 1, 1998
Hares: Driving Miss Bitch, Trouser Snake, Spits It Out, & Pulls It Out
Location: Rockville Ramada Inn Area & Dugout restaurant.
CHECK IT OUT !!!!!! THE WAGNER BROTHER’S PARTY COMING NEXT WEEKEND Don’t Miss This Exceptional Event – Over 400 At The Last One!!!!! Details In UPCOMING EVENTS
DON’T MISS OUT !!!!!! FINAL CALL FOR HASH BASEBALL CAPS (LAST WEEK) If you want to order a “hash name or nerd name” embroidered Hash (White House, Full Moon, or Mount Vernon) Baseball Cap, See BIG BIRD TURD ASAP. If you desire, send orders via email to bwagner@grci.com. The cost is $12 pre paid before order goes in, colors are denim blue, navy blue, white, forest green, black and pinkish red.
HABADASHER UPDATE: Order Your White House Sweats NOW!!! THE COLD WEATHER IS COMING SOON Sweat Shirts & Sweat Pants for the 1998-1999 winter season will be by order form only. See Hasher Humper immediately if you need an order form or any other details!!!
1999 WHITE HOUSE MISMANAGEMENT: Anyone interested in becoming a member of the 1999 White House Mismanagement should see Spinal Tap to let him know what you are interested in doing. PS I need a VOLUNTEER to become the 1999 Scribe. Who among all of you strong brainy people can handle this SPECIAL position? PS: I also understand that we need a new Hair Raiser!
GET YOUR HASH INFORMATION ELECTRONICALLY: Contact GBOF via email smythe_andrew@birdengineering.com, to be added to the WH4 electron list (Submit First & Last Name, Your Hash Name [if you have one], and put “GBOF” in the subject line, make sure you send your email address).
Do to trash reproduction issues, I found myself running the trail backward to catch up with the group, since they had already left by the time I arrived. This journey had me crossing a major road, passing under the metro and running besides lots of homes and route 270, until I saw Missing Link and Beezer. They informed me that the trail wound around the housing area and that I was currently on the walking trail. After some discussion I decided to continue on to catch the pack before they hit the walker/runner split about a 1/2 mile ahead. What perfect timing, as I came neat the split I saw Pussy Whipped, Hawaiian Puke, Pro Boner, Wilburrr, Might Tight, Needle In Thread, Heat Seeking Moisture Missile, Dumb Blonde, and Blazing Straddles closing from the other direction. WHAT A COLLISION!!!!! After picking myself up I was ON with the pack.
We wandered down LOTS OF tree-lined streets for about a quarter mile then we reached a clothing exchange check. What an event, I saw: Bare Back, Barkadildo, Bavarian Bush, Beastie Bush, Blazing Straddle, Blonde Roots, Blowing In The Wind, Bramble Bush, Cervix With A Smile, Cum-By-Ya, Cunning Stunt, DangeRously Close, Dicklesickle, Dirty ‘N’ Hairy, Drinks On Me Bud, Dumb Blonde, Exhibit A & B, For Sale Or Rent, Driving Miss Daisy, Fussy Bitch, Great Balls Of Fire, Had-A-Madam, Hasher Humper, Heat Seeking Moisture Missile, Hurls From The Crypt, Hymen Dickover, Meat Puppet, M.I.C-OUCH, Shoots Blanks, Steers & Queers, Mammorex, Mighty Tight, Missing Link, Needle In Thread, West Virginia Woodie, Pro Boner, Pulls It Out, Pussy Whipped, Raise My Titanic, Road Kill, Rocks Off, WhereDaFakHawe, Wilburrr, Spinal Tap, Spits It Out, Pulls It Out, Trouser Snake, and Vominatrix all undressing and passing sweaty clothes around to each other.
This So disgusted me that the remainder of the running: through housing areas, down busy streets, through woods, in industrial parks, under metro stations and back over busy streets are now a blur to me!!!!! So I don’t have a lot to write, SORRY. But there is ONE MEMORABLE thing that I do want to record. The hares had drawn the outline of a human as if they had been run over in the street crossing area near the end of the hash. Well, Had- A-Madam made it real by lying in the exact outlined shape. There is a BRAVE man, or should I say STUPID?????? We were ON-IN very shortly there after.
Well HELLO fellow hashers! This is DangeRously Close with your View from the Rear...
After having received two different sets of instruction on how to get to Sunday's trail, I knew this was going to be an interesting day. Sunday's trail took place in that far off land none as Rockville! "Rockville?" you might ask... YES, ROCKVILLE, as in MARYLAND! After hiking around the beltway inner loop, out the spur, and up 270N, it was still a short drive and a couple turns to the remote parking lot behind the Ramada Inn. As we gathered, it was very evident that this was not your average White House hash. Some who had attended the Full Moon Halloweenie Hash and Party must have had a VERY good time because they were MIA on Sunday! Some were quite a sight still dressed in costumes from the night before, and a few were even wearing different costumes...?? I was pleasantly surprised to see Hasher Humper and Spinal Tap in from the Frederick Hash Wedding Weekend. Along with them were three visitors from Harrisburg-Hershey H5, Fuzz Buster, Sister Maria, and BushRat. WELCUM!
After Father Abe, our hares, Pulls It Out, Spits It Out, Driving Miss Bitch, and Trouser Snake, instructed us about the trail markings, including a new "C" Check.... Just as we all gazed around wonderingly, they explained that a "C" Check was a Clothing Check and that upon encountering one, we were to exchange an article of clothing with a member of the opposite sex! Wow, talk about excited hashers.... I've never seen a group of people so excited at the prospect of exchanging clothes! And then we were off!
Walkers trail was the same route as runners... across the parking lot, across Halpine Road and into the very busy Congressional Plaza. Boy were those shoppers stunned to see us. We ran along past the store fronts into a corner of the shopping center where all the confused hashers mingled about among the shopping patrons upon encountering the first check - unfortunately for all the dazed shoppers, this was a regular check NOT a Clothing Check! Seeing a Starbucks Coffee store, Bareback was heard asking, "Is this a coffee check?"
Everyone took off along the fronts of the stores again in what seemed like the logical direction, only to discover that it was a BT. We all turned around and ran back and deeper into the corner of the shopping center where we discovered true trail was down a staircase. Behind a very smelly shopping center we ran... the faster the better to get us out of this nasty odoriferous feast! Passing us on trail was hare Spits It Out wearing a rather cute floral short skirt that flipped up when she ran... was this costume, or just new fancy running wear?? ...more on this at the end of my tale! Trail led us around a corner toward Rockville Pike. Just before crossing, we came upon the first Clothing Check. Bareback and I were traveling together at this point and we saw PW waiting for women at the Clothing Check. We almost ran the other direction, but decided we'd risk it - after all, it was 2 against 1!?! (On the other hand, this would have probably have been PW's dream cum true! But, I digress.....) Bareback set about peeling off her shirt to exchange with PW, but when he proclaimed, "I want the purple sports bra", she traded that instead. I traded my purple gloves for PW's stocking cap and with his wonderful new color coordinated outfit, off he went, smiling proudly. Back to the trail tale...
We crossed Rockville Pike and followed along in front of the businesses facing the Pike. By this time the pack was spread out but we did see a small group duck in between several businesses up ahead (who said head?) of us. Watching curiously we saw them cum right back out the way they had gone. We continued to trudge the straightaway until we spied a lonely runner ahead ("head" again?) of us climb some stairs onto the top level of the Best Buy parking garage. Coming upon the stairs, and seeing that this was indeed trail, we climbed also to surface at the Beer Check!! Hip hip hooray! There was the pack - all in very interesting outfits having encountered that Clothing Check - and there was the beer. We took a short break and then we were off again. The walkers got their instructions from the hares and continued for a bit more with the runners.
Walking from the beer check, there were three groups of two... we (Bareback - who had wanted to do a little running but neglected to think of that when she traded her bra!! and I, DangeRously Close) were in the middle, with two experienced walking hashers ahead (did I say "head" again?) and two virgins walking behind. We departed the parking garage and trail led us to a road that ran over the railroad tracks. Over the tracks we went and into a neighborhood with very small but tidy homes. The pack was nowhere to be seen as the walkers continued on. At an intersection in the neighborhood streets, the runners trail split from the walkers, with the walkers heading (who said "head") straight. We kept going straight, and going, and going, and going, just like Eveready Bunnies! Finally the Twinbrook Metro station was in sight and we hoped trail would get a little more exciting for us. Well, guess what? Trail led us right into the metro station! Not knowing we could go all the way through, we found this little bit of mystery amusing. Then, suddenly, we spied a HUGE true trail arrow on the wall, and up a ramp we went... !
At the top of the ramp, we started to cross the metro parking lot and guess who ran right past us?!?! PW!! Wow, the runners were behind us. It was here that I decided to run for awhile - not realizing how close we were to finishing - and off I went, passing the other walkers in front of me. I crossed a street and ran down a section of Halpine Road toward Rockville Pike. Several runners came running past me one at time. One, was Bushrat, who I noticed had NOT exchanged any article of clothing. I commented on this as he passed and got a shrug of the shoulders in return. I continued to Rockville Pike and with several of the runners, crossed between traffic. Past store fronts we went and then on a narrow road leading behind the Ramada Inn. As I ran in, I passed For Sale or Rent - who had not done trail - at her car, and she remarked "Boy, you're in early today!" Little does she know.
As the pack all poured in, it was obvious that there must have been another Clothing Check on the runners portion of the trail. Evidently after PW had gotten so bold as to wear a bra, the other harriers got the urge also, and many were almost completely decked out in harriette's garb! I even saw Had a Madam wearing ladies panties?!?! It was interesting to see hashers wandering around seeking the owner of various clothing articles asking, "Is this yours?" Anyone still missing panties?? Clothing Checks were a grand idea... Way to go hares!
So went another Sunday trail.... while a little chilly, it was indeed an exciting trail! Oh, and to follow up on Spits It Out's flippy little skirt... she later remarked, "And that dress was the best running outfit I've found yet - easy to move, not too hot, just interesting enough (no, it wasn't a costume!). Now why don't more people think of things like that?" Don't know Spits, but perhaps there is a new product scheme in there somewhere?!?!?
On-On and many happy trails... DangeRously Close
As we entered the Ramada parking there she was Shitty-Shitty-Bang- Bang, what a wonderful sight. Immediately after I collected a brew to wash down the hash taste, II went to my car to get the trashes. I immediately began to pass them out and talk to the good looking group. Finally Spinal Tap and Had-A-Madam called us to circle. The hares Driving Miss Bitch, Trouser Snake, Spits It Out & Pulls It Out were called forward to hear us all complain about their shitty trail (this time it was ABSOLUTELY deserved – ONCE AGAIN). But in a short time, Had-A-Madam had them drinking to the tune of “here’s to the hares”. Spinal Tap then called all the virgins forward, and low and behold we had lots of them this week this week. Here are their vitals and some:
| Name | Who Made Them Come | Temporary Hash Name |
|---|---|---|
| JP | Bavarian Bush | Mikie Will Eat Anything |
| Jen | Pulls It Out | Use Both Hands |
| Lu | Pulls It Out | Pocket Fool |
| Caren | Pulls It Out | Aren’t You Tired |
| Jodi | Pulls It Out | Who Was On Top |
| Christine | Pulls It Out | Just Set A New Record |
| Lauri | Kirstein | Finger Didler |
| Pam | BEER (I LOVE THIS ONE) | No Stickie |
| Staci | Pulls It Out | Busted Bed Springs |
Our virgins were instructed on the finer points of rapid beer consumption by Spinal Tap. They drank to the tune of “Al-A-Zuma-Zuma-Zuma”, welcome Virgin Class Of #619, enjoy the hash. We had 2 Visitors, they included: (1) Sister Marian, from Harrisburg/Hershey H3, and (2) Fuzz Buster , also from Harrisburg/Hershey H3. They drank in their new free WH4 give-away souvenir visitor mugs to the tune of “Al- A-Zumma-Zumma”. Y'all all come back and see us again some time. Violations included: Bramble Bush & Heimen Dickover for bring lawn chairs to relax in during the circle. Beastie Bush & all the BUSH people for political signs on trail. Pussy Whipped for losing his car keys in space. Fussy Bitch for Radio something or another!! For Sale Or Rent for cherry tomatoes at a hash (we do not eat healthy food!!!).
We celebrated Spits It Out’s 100 hash Run and her birthday all at the same time - GOOD SHOW there lady!!!
WE DID HAVE A NAMING: (just) Tom was called forward and several of his friends ragged on him. We discovered that he has Aggie ties, he is a steerman, and he knows how to pile it. Out of the name gathering process we had: (1) Hung For A Bull, (2) Bumm Steer, (3) Queer Steer, (4) Where’s The Beef, (5) Hauling Bull, (6) Packing The Meat, (7) Pound Of Meat, (8) Meat Packer, (9) Horny Steer, (10) Bull Shit, (11) Long Horn, & (12) Packing Some Meat. After several cycles of the voting, hence forth and forever more in the White Hash and the World Of hashuinh (just) Tom will be known as:
Lazy Mother F*cker (our newly named hasher) did not SHOW – ONCE AGAIN, therefore we were not able to have our weekly hashit give-away contest. TO all, if you are ever SO UNLUCKY enough to receive this AWSOME Award, please return with it or designate an alternative driver for the next week. PLEASE don’t deprive the rest of us of our weekly fun and games. THIS IS THE THIRD WEEK IN A ROW THAT HE HAS STIFFED US!!!!!!!
Had-A-Madam & Spinal Tap lead us in several version of our SWING SONG (normal, fast, Scooby-Do, Monica Lewinski), they we closed with “May The Has Go In peace”
The location was The Dugout Restaurant in the basement of the Ramada Inn in Rockville. There was a raffle for charity, some cheap beers ($1.00), and order on you from the food menu. For the size of the hash we had a pretty good showing at the On-On-On. I was SOOO SURPRISED to Drinks On Me Bud so CALM, COOL, & COLLECTED; Wilburrr what did you give the guy to calm him down so much? Driving Miss Bitch was doing a GREAT job as guest bartender, and everyone seemed to enjoy her efforts. Blazing Straddles was very focused as she held down the end of the bar. Raise My Titanic, once again had the BIGGEST smile I have ever seen. Heimen & Bramble only stayed for a few minutes, BORING. We finally had a special birthday celebration for Spits It Out, and SHE really enjoyed the attention. I also remember Fussy Bitch hitting her head and being knocked out cold for some time. Everyone seemed to have a great time then the crowd began to thin and the hash was history for another week.
In my CONSTANT REMINDER section I will TODAY and for SOME TIME to come remember Meat Puppet, because he asked me why I forgot his name in the trash last week. Well dumb s**t, I did it on purpose. Because of your vicious attack on my scribing abilities, I will keep you in my constant reminder dog house of life for awhile. O BY THE WAY, does anyone have a “SHORT” rule because Exhibit A & B wants to know how long your tool is before she decides to get more serious about you. Whip it out and lets measure a inch or two!!!!!
On, On, Big Bird Turd
#620 November 8; 3:00PM Hares: Leisure Suit Larry, One No Trump & Dazed
And Confused: Start: Oakton On-On-On: Patriot's Cafe, Fairfax VA
#621 November 15: 3:00 PM The "Are They True Redheads" Hash? Hares:
Blazing Straddle, Ball Buster, and U.S. Boobs & Oral Report Start: TBD; On-
On-On: TBD
#622 November 22: 3:00 PM Hares: Lip Service, & Needle In Threat: Start:
TBD; On-On-On: TBD
#623 November 29: 3:00 PM Hares: Cock Force One & [just] Craig Start: TBD
On-On-On: TBD
#624 December 6: 3:00 PM Hares: Dangerously Close & ??
#625 December 13: 3:00 PM Hares: Cowpoke-Her & Squirrel Bait Start: TRW
Bldg, 1895 Preston White Drive, Reston VA
#626 December 20: 3:00 PM Hares: Had-A-Madam Start: Ellipse / Nat'l Xmas
Tree [outside Bubba's White House] On-On-On: TBD
#627 December 27: 3:00 PM LOOKING FOR HARES
WE ARE ALWAYS LOOKING FOR HARES. If interested, contact GBOF at 703-876- 4772.
WAGNER BROTHERS 7TH ANNUAL FALL BASH: Saturday November 14, 1998 9 p.m. - whenever, Location: Rhodeside ,Grill 1836 Wilson Blvd. Arlington, VA (corner of Rhodes St & Wilson Blvd. between Roslyn & Courthouse Metro stops) (703)-243-0145 The Music of D.J. Greg Martin (i.e., dancing) Alcohol Prices: $2.50 16-oz. domestic drafts & bottles(*), $3.00 16-oz. micro/premium drafts (*), $3.00 wine & rail drinks (*) NOTE: (*) ALL drink prices include tax and tip HOT: $5 donation requested. You Also Get: Light Hors D’oeuvres Attire: Casual Dress, Directions: Metro: Orange line to Courthouse. Walk East on Wilson Blvd. one block past Bardo's. From DC: Roosevelt Bridge to Rosslyn/Key Bridge. Left on Ft. Meyer Dr. Right on Wilson. Party on left near Exxon at Rhodes St. & Wilson. From Georgetown: Take Key Bridge. Cross Lee Hwy. Right on Wilson. Party on left near Exxon at Rhodes St. & Wilson. From Rt. I-66 East: Take the Rosslyn Exit onto Lee Hwy, right on Fort Myer Dr., right on Wilson. Party on left near Exxon at Rhodes St. & Wilson. From I-395 North: Take the Rosslyn Exit (Rt. 27), follow signs for Rt. 50 West, exit in Rosslyn, turn right on Lynn Dr., left on Wilson. Party on left near Exxon at Rhodes St. & Wilson. From anywhere else, read a map. Questions? Call: Jerry Wagner H: (703) 237-0948 W: (703) 631-2882 jcwags@tidalwwave.net or Bill Wagner H: (703) 527-4122 W: (202) 366-9357 bill.wagner@ost dot.gov.
UTAH SKI TRIP: January 11-18 1999 Bob "Stool Sample" Goodell is organizing a ski trip to Utah January 11-18. Cost is $800 for airfare, 5 days lift, 7 nites lodging, and ground transfer in Utah. Food, alcohol and equipment are separate. If interested, contact him at 703-465-1919 for more details.
MARDI GRAS MADNESS IX HASH WEEKEND: Feb 12-16 1999. Fussy Bitch is leading a trip to the great city of New Orleans to raise some hell and drink some beer over Mardi Gras. See Fussy for details (she has a handout that covers it all), it is a great time.
PANAMA HASH HOUSE HARRIERS 1000 RUN: March 5-7 1999. Quick Drawers is coordinating our participation as a group, more to follow. If this is anything like the Costa Rica 1000th “DON’T MISS IT”!
INTERAFRICA HASH 99: June 4-6 1999 In Zimbabwe, near Lake Victoria, See Mellow Foreskin Cheese for details.
INTERAMERICAS HASH 99: September 3-6 1999. Hosted by http://www.transarc.com/afs/transarc.com/public/demi/html/ph3-home.html, Pennsylvania. Contact Jim "Whiff" Montgomery, (412) 431-7350, or "Dead Kennedy," e-mail brady@serviceware.com. Official address: InterAmericas Hash '99, John Olson, 723 5th St, Oakmont, PA 15139 USA. e-mail IAH99@webtv.net - Internet: http://www.interhash.simplenet.com/REGFORM.html (rego form) MESSAGE FROM “Moon”. Another 1000 years down the poop-chute and Pittsburgh is bracing itself for the celebration of the century! Just wait and see what Tittsburgh has in store for you... There'll be enough beer to drown you and your ancestors back to the primordial spooge from which they were spawned, enough shiggy to clog a waffle tread, more meals and treats than Christmas Eve in Hedon and, perhaps most importantly, everyone's gonna get crude, lewd, and stewed--Burgh style! Wahoooo!!! Get ready for AIH '99 in Tittsburgh USA, Labor Day Weekend 1999. Cum one, cum all, 'cause we gonna have a ball!!!
INTEREUROPE HASH 99: Early October 1999. Location central Turkey, Drinks On Me Bud is contemplating another group excursion, details to follow. If you missed Bud’s KL trip, don’t repeat your mistake. See Drinks On Me Bud for details.