Date: November 22, 1998
Hares: Needle In Thread & Lip Service
Location: Falls Church Around Pines Of Florence
DC FULL MOON HASH NEXT FRIDAY (December 4th 7:00 PM See CUMMING EVENTS For Details)
WHITE HOUSE POST-CHRISTMAS PARTY, January 23 (SEE CUMMING EVENTS For Details)
HABADASHER UPDATE: Order Your White House Sweats NOW!!! THE COLD WEATHER IS COMING SOON. See Hasher Humper for an order form or any other details!!!
GET YOUR HASH INFORMATION ELECTRONICALLY: Contact GBOF via email smythe_andrew@birdengineering.com, to be added to the WH4 electron list (Submit First & Last Name, Your Hash Name [if you have one], and put "GBOF" in the subject line, make sure you send your email address).
The group gathered ALL around the ITALIAN gourmet restaurant called the Pines Of Florence. At the start Had-A-Madam was overheard saying "How many men does it take to open a beer? None. It should be opened by the time she brings it". I sure hope Beastie Bush shares you feeling about female servitude Had-A person. At the EXACT allotted time of 3 PM the pre hash circle was called and one and all sang Father Abraham. Shortly after the singing event the hares came forward with the LAST MINUTE instructions about the trail. They were VERY confusing, and as usual this indicated a VERY confusing trail.
As we started Bramble Bush and Heimen Dickover were overheard talking about the trail and how nice it would be to have SEX ON TRAIL. It was Heimen who was doing the asking, and it was Bramble that was doing the "are you crazy" speech. Needles to say the female side made the FINAL decision and they were observed on trail from that point on (for the entire hash). Shucks, no hanky panky here.
The Over The Hump group lead by Pussy Whipped and including T Bone plus others, showed late and were observed working their up the pack pecking order during the entire trail.
Burnt Socks lead the group across Washington Street. It did not take long for the pack to begin to spread out a bunch. Put It Out was leading a small pack of cute ladies, and man was he HELPFUL. Late Cummer was he a gentleman on trail or not? As the pack wound through the Tyler Gardens section of Falls Church Blazing Straddle was moving on out and taunting all of the SLOWER men to keep up. She was being helped by Vominatrix. Both of our Marathon Queens were really showing their moving out stuff this day. One of our newest female dominators Cock Force One was also observed in a taunting mood on trail.
AS we headed northeast to Great Falls Street we began to feel that this was going to be a ROAD RAGE event, YES we were correct. But as usual Cyclops and Had-A- Madam were just loping along talking about plans for the circle, great time to plan guys. As we came to beer stop number one, the group breathed a sigh of relief. The stop saw lots of drinking. Some of our guzzlers included: Dr Strangelove, Fornikicker, For Sale Or Rent and Dirty ‘N' Hairy. They all seemed to be enjoying the BREAK and dreading the remaining run. The first one out of the check was Drinks On Me Bud in his VERY fashionable RUNNING dress wrap which he picked up in Kuala Lumpur at Interhash. Boy was the man a FASHION STATEMENT and a half, did someone say half whit?
AS we reached the Falls Church Park area we realized that we were a LONG way from home, this doubled our efforts to plan to SKIN the hares. As we came over the hill at Madison Manor Park Missed Erections and Pulls It Out were having a game of who's up the hill first. The Erection lady WON. On the other side of the hill was another beer stop. The gang really was happy to quench their SECOND big thirst of the day. Several of our wankers (US Boobs & Oral Report, Ragin Cajin, Pro Boner and Mammorex) were overhead BAD MOUTHING our hares. I did had no idea how BAD Needle In Thread's mother was!!!
The final leg of the trail wound us around MANY Falls Church housing areas, in fact I don't think we miss many in the hare's attempt to confuse us. Missing Link and Beezer were not to be fooled, they short cut the hell out of the trail and were already ON-IN as the pack struggled to finish. Wilburrr was just a moving on with his trademark smile and goose whistle a blowing. Finally we crossed Broad Street and wound our way onto Hillwood Avenue at Berry Street. At this point many in the group realized that home was about a mile straight run up Hillwood to Washington. From this point on it was everyone for themselves. Harem Scarem was smart because he found a shortcut that brought him out just short of Hillwood and Washington. To save space let it be known that everyone really got a chance to work on their interval training during the final stage of the hash Olympic run. As we came into the parking lot of the Pines Of Florence, all I could say was "THANK GOD it was finished".
Some of the hashers I observed the circle included: Barkadildo, Blazing Straddle, Black Box, DangeRously Close, Dirty ‘N' Hairy, Dr Strangelove, Drinks On Me Bud, Fly The Friendly Thighs, Bare Back, Drive Thru, T Bone, For Sale Or Rent, Fussy Bitch, Great Balls Of Fire, Hasher Humper [On-Sec note: oh really?], Hawaiian Puke, Heat Seeking Moisture Missile, Hollow Point, M.I.C-OUCH, Shoots Blanks, Steers & Queers, Mammorex, Silent Screamer, Missed Erections, He Whore, Had-A-Madam, Beastie Bush, 50 $ Bitch, Bull Sh*t, Missing Link, Needle In Thread, Pro Boner, Stool Sample, Tidy Bowl, Pulls It Out, Pussy Whipped, Raise My Titanic, Road Kill, Rocks Off, WhereDaFakHawe, Wilburrr, Wet Spot, Spinal Tap [On-Sec note: not!], Spits It Out, Pulls It Out, Trouser Snake, and Vominatrix.
Hello fellow hashers... DangeRously Close here with your View from the Rear...Well, despite that fact that this was indeed a blustery day, many hashers came forth to participate in this, the "Panty Run" trail. We started at the Pines of Florence in the City of Falls Church. The hares gave us instructions and we were off. The walkers were told that we had a separate trail with our own panty checks. Off we went up Leesburg Pike, following our trail, marked with W's. Well, we were a varied group, numbering plenty. The walkers were soon spread out into many smaller sub groups, with Black Box and I leading. Unfortunately, following trail was not always easy to follow, since the hares made turns without arrows or checks. BB and I soon had lead the walkers off trail. We found this out when - who should cum upon us autohashing but the hares! They informed us that we'd missed a turn back aways. So we turned around and I decided to run ahead (did I say "Head"?) to find the missing flour. It was hiding around a corner, and once found, all walkers followed.
We headed (who said head?) along steadily and approach a nice park with a "panty check", where the walkers subgroups all piled up together in search of panties. And guess who we discovered was on the walkers trail with us? Pussy Whipped and T Boss ran in and invaded our panty check. Well, it is sometimes nice to have runners with the walkers, and once we'd found several pieces of underclothing and decided we'd looked enough, we allowed those nasty runners to take off in several directions looking for trail. It was an amusing sight to see… runners taking off, walkers slowly starting to follow in the same direction and the runners cumming right back from the direction they'd gone only to choose a different direction, take off again, and have the walkers slowly start to follow once again. Well, it did not take long to figure out that this was a very disjointed trail!
Hashers I remember at that first check were: Bareback, Black Box, No Genitals, Driving Miss Bitch, Watergate, just Annie, PW and T Boss, and I think this is where Big Bird Turd joined us as well, and many others.
I think PW and T Boss gave up and just started to run off hoping they'd eventually cum to true trail. Well, after invading a church parking lot, backtracking a bit, and walking in circles through and around the small park, we finally heard whistles and heard "true trail" and found trail leading down a nice street into a neighborhood. It was throughout this neighborhood that we noticed even more turns around corners that were without hares arrows or checks. We walked, and walked, and walked. Eventually it became apparent that we were not on the walkers' trail and more likely had somewhere intersected the runners and gotten on their trail. If this was not the case, then wow! the hares had us on the strangest trail. There was no whining on the part of the walkers though, because that would surely have been a nasty offense.
Finally dragging ourselves across a park and up a steep hill in the woods, we were told that beer was near. With the promise of beverage to quench our growing thirst, we mustered up just enough energy to step up our pace a bit and entered another neighborhood. It was here that we came (?) upon Holy Tit dispensing and rationing the small amount of remaining beverages - beer and just a bit of water. As we were very parched at this point, we sucked down all he had to offer! (NOTE: HT was not hashing this day due to having just run a 50K the day before. He finished 38th and should be congratulated, although that sure is not reason enough to give up the afternoon's hash!)
By this time, it was getting late, and the sun was setting, and it air was getting a real bite. We'd been on trail almost an hour! BUT, on we trudged, following the bits of flour. Each panty check we came to had already been raided, but we did not care, as all we could think about was for this never- ending trail to be over. We came upon a "walkers" arrow pointing for us to continue across a street, heading (did I say "head" again?) away from what we knew to be our final destination. So, being quite tuckered, and a bit chilled and VERY thirsty, we decided to turn right and follow what appeared to be the runners trail. Could the hares have been leading us, the walkers, farther away from the final destination than the runners? WOW! Well, the runners were soon heard cumming up from behind (?) and soon some - Great Balls of Fire to name one - were passing us as everyone just couldn't wait for this hellava trail to be over. I was on trail with Bareback at this point, and we ran most of the straight route back to the Pines of Florence.
After a reeeaaaalllly long circle, we all headed (?) inside for warmth, food, and socializing. If you were there on the walkers trail and I missed mentioning you, I am indeed sorry. If you weren't there then you were definitely not mentioned, and missed an adventure to remember! Oh yeah… and the panties were all rounded up and counted for the awarding of prizes.
So went another Sunday with the White House Hash House Harriers… many happy trails,
On-On and many happy trails... DangeRously Close
It was GREAT to FINALLY see the party location after such a CHALLENGING afternoon's work. But, the QUICKLY descending darkness did take some of the romance out of the event; what the hell we are ONLY hashers. The one stable thing in the equation was Shitty-Shitty-Bang-Bang, having beer served from her side door. But alas the beer serving was slow this week due to foamy heads (who said HEAD, and it was GOOD, and wanted MORE ...), but all in all the line was not TOO long waiting for the liquid gold and everyone disolayed patience as our trusty brewcrew unscrewed the situation. The sad element of the circle was the absence (due to VACATION fun and games) of Spinal Tap and Hasher Humper. No hash stuff for sale, I was in shopping withdrawal this week. But there is always a next week. . As it was REALLY getting DARK (future hares, don't make the trails LONG in the winter!!!) , I began passing out the trashes and enjoying the conversation with the assembled masses. Finally, Cyclops and Had-A-Madam called us to circle. The hares: Needle In Thread and Lip Service were called forward to hear us all complain about their shitty trail (this time it was ABSOLUTELY deserved - ONCE AGAIN). In a short time, Had-A-Madam had them drinking to the tune of "here's to the hares". Cyclops then called all the virgins forward, and low and behold we had lots of them this week this week. Here are their vitals:
| Name | Who Made Them Come | Temporary Hash Name | "Let Me See Your ..." |
|---|---|---|---|
| Laur | Ryan | PiPi Long Stocking | Congenial Bust |
| Darwin | Sorry My Knl** Hurt | Theory Of Evolution | Shrinkage |
| Mike | Dicksickle | It Had A Cherry Flavor | Butt Floss |
| Justin | Leisure Suit Larry | Leerie Lush | What's Under The "G" String? |
| Tara | Yellow Pants | Tickle My Teeth | Cut Your Hair |
| Mike #2 | Leisure Suit Larry | Rogaine Man | Garter Belt |
| Amy | Daisy & Her Fingers | Nipplish | Can I See You After The Circle |
| Daisy | Amy & Her Fingers | Duke Of Hazard | Count These Nuts |
| Amanda | Yellow Pants | Night Time Nightie | No Budget For This |
| Dun | Tom | Blow Job | Eat'm Like This |
Our virgins were instructed on the finer points of rapid beer consumption by Had-A-Madam. They drank to the tune of "Why Were They Born So Beautiful", welcome Virgin Class Of #622, enjoy the hash. We had 5 Visitors, they included: (1) Sir F*cks A Lot from Toledo H3, and (2) Community Chest, from Harrisburg/Hershey H3, and (3) Chardonnay Main, from Charleston H3, (4) All Heuter Feeder from Charleston H3, and (5) Pecker Checker from Charleston H3. They drank in their new free WH4 give-away souvenir visitor mugs to the tune of "10 Toes". Y'al all come back and see us again some time. We had four LONG TIME NO SEE's (1) Ragin Cajin, (2) Valencia, (3) Juicy (On-Sec note: she counts twice!), (4) and Poodle F*cked. Drink and cum back soon again and again.
Our violations included Bramble Bush and (when one bush all bushes) for stupidity on trail standing on a bad check which prevented the FRB's from getting lost, ALL the lawyers present for the honor of Kenneth Starr, our RED HEADED members Ball Buster and Blazing Straddle just because, and Mamorex and Roach Motel for bicycle RACING attire. We had 5 birthdays (1) Pay Per View, (2) Mamorex, (3) Watergate, (4) Pussy Whipped, and (5) Had-A-Madam. The YELLOW JERSEY and Holy Tit did show up, but we used the jersey for a hashit (see hashit section for details).
UNFORTUNATELY we had NO namings this week.
Because we were SO FRUSTRATED about not having a hashit ceremony for SO LONG, a decision was made to use a "Stand In" ceremonial item and "JUST DO IT". That ceremonial item was the yellow jersey, and some of the gathered group were not happy that it was going to be the substitute hashit, they included Dangerously Close and Holy Tit, this group was anxious for that award going to the "FIRST TO SHOW" not the "BIGGEST SCR*EW UP". After a CLOSE competition, the hares won for their SHITTY TRAIL.
As we were getting near the end of the hash, we had a "SWING LOW" song rebellion. One of the wankers in the crowd did not wait for Mismanagement and started leading the assembled masses in song without proper support. After several minutes of CROWD CONTROL, Had-A-Madam asked the group, "when is the 669th running of the WH4" and we answered with "sometime in the future". Then Had-A-Madam & Cyclops lead us in several versions of our SWING SONG (normal, Scooby-Do, and Fast), and then they closed with the phrase "May The Hash Go In Peace", and we responded with our normally stupid answer of "May The Hash Get A Piece".
The location was Pines Of Florence in Falls Church. The location was VERY NEAR the circle and the place was as dumpy as ever. We used the same basement gathering HOLE for the Wagner's Birthday Hash in June (the hash with lots of RAIN and the HUMAN RIVER CROSSING CHAIN). $5 got you a buffet of Italian Pasta and Salad. For beer $1 got you a bottle of low end brew. All in all it was a good time for everyone. Although many people only stayed long enough to get warm and then get gone. Pussy Whipped represented Mismanagement in the lingerie contest judging. Several awards were made, see PW for details. He also awarded the hashit and the yellow shirt to the correct winners. Thanks Lazy Mother F*cker for showing up and allowing us to get back in the give-away groove. There was some singing and lots of conversation, Pulls It Out, Needle In Thread and Put It Out were really hitting on all the girls. Yes, the evening finally wound down around 8 PM. The Charleston Hashers were there until the bitter end, thanks for cumming. The crowd thinned out and the hash was history for another week. Say good night Big Bird Turd, "GOOD NIGHT BIG BIRD TURD".
PERSON INTERVIEWED: Need Volunteers, come and see me if you want to be interviewed and EXPOSED to the hash.
In my CONSTANT REMINDER section I will ONCE AGAIN remember Meat Puppet for his refusal to have his DICK measured with a ruler, Exhibit A & B for not showing her tits recently, Put It Out for religious abuse and Pulls It Out for the best male girl hitter-on (how's your hammer this week???)
On, On, Big Bird Turd
#624 December 6: 3:00 PM Hares: Dangerously Close & ??
#625 December 13: 3:00 PM Hares: Cowpoke-Her & Squirrel Bait Start: TRW
Bldg, 1895 Preston White Drive, Reston VA
#626 December 20: 3:00 PM Hares: Had-A-Madam Start: Ellipse / Nat'l Xmas
Tree [outside Bubba's White House] On-On-On: TBD
#627 December 27: 3:00 PM Hares: Pussy Whipped & ??
#628 January 3: 3:00 PM LOOKING FOR HARES
#629 January 10: 3:00 PM Pricewaterhouse & Coopers Dweeb Accounting Hash
Hares: Pay Per View, Keyless Entry, & The Mayor
#630 January 17: 3:00 PM LOOKING FOR HARES
#631 January 24: 3:00 PM The BITCHES Hash Hares: 50 $ Bitch, Fussy
Bitch, Driving Ms Bitch, & Put The Bitch Down
#632 January 30: 3:00 PM LOOKING FOR HARES
WE ARE ALWAYS LOOKING FOR HARES. If interested, contact GBOF at 703-876- 4772.
DECEMBER DC FULL MOON HASH: 7 PM December 4: The next full moon hash will be Friday night, December 4th at 7 pm. The hash will start and end at the Washington Canoe Club in lower Georgetown. The cost will be $15, except that this is the "Give Credit Where Credit is Due" hash, so if you ran a full moon hash anytime in the past year (meaning since last November) and you signed in and paid for it, you will get $1 off of the price for every hash you attended. Not only that, but you will get beer, pizza, and dancing to our very own hash band, the Gene Pool Zombies. Washington Canoe Club is on the Potomac River waterfront right beneath Key Bridge in Georgetown. If you are coming from Maryland or DC, get on Wisconsin Avenue or Connecticut Avenue or 16th Street and drive south to K Street. Turn right on K. If you are coming from Virginia, take Roosevelt Bridge to the E Street expressway exit. Turn left onto 20th Street, and then left onto K. In either event, stay on K. Go under the Whitehurst Freeway, passed Washington Harbor, and cross Wisconsin Avenue. At Wisconsin, K becomes Water Street. Follow it as far as it will go, under Key Bridge, passed Jack's boat rental and the Potomac Boat Club. The Washington Canoe Club is a green building at the far end of Water Street. When you see the C&O bike path, the Club will be ahead on the left. Park wherever you can on K or Water Street. Don't forget to bring a flashlight and your dancing shoes.
UTAH SKI TRIP: January 11-18 1999 Bob "Stool Sample" Goodell is organizing a ski trip to Utah January 11-18. Cost is $800 for airfare, 5 days lift, 7 nites lodging, and ground transfer in Utah. Food, alcohol and equipment are separate. If interested, contact him at 703-465-1919 for more details.
WHITE HOUSE H4 POST CHRISTMAS PARTY: Saturday January 23, 1999, Forest Glen Ballroom, Silver Springs, Maryland. $20.00 if paid in 1998, 35.00 if paid in 1999, so sign up and pay early!!! More details to follow.
MARDI GRAS MADNESS IX HASH WEEKEND: Feb 12-16 1999. Fussy Bitch is leading a trip to the great city of New Orleans to raise some hell and drink some beer over Mardi Gras. See Fussy for details (she has a handout that covers it all), it is a great time.
PANAMA HASH HOUSE HARRIERS 1000 RUN: March 5-7 1999. Quick Drawers is coordinating our participation as a group, more to follow. If this is anything like the Costa Rica 1000th "DON'T MISS IT"!
INTERAFRICA HASH 99: June 4-6 1999 In Zimbabwe, near Lake Victoria, See Mellow Foreskin Cheese for details.
INTERAMERICAS HASH 99: September 3-6 1999. Hosted by, "http://www.transarc.com/afs/transarc.com/public/demi/html/ph3-home.html", Pennsylvania. Contact Jim "Whiff" Montgomery, (412) 431-7350, or "Dead Kennedy," e-mail brady@serviceware.com. Official address: InterAmericas Hash '99, John Olson, 723 5th St, Oakmont, PA 15139 USA. e-mail IAH99@webtv.net - Internet: "http://www.interhash.simplenet.com/REGFORM.html" (rego form)
INTEREUROPE HASH 99: Early October 1999. Location central Turkey, Drinks On Me Bud is contemplating another group excursion, details to follow. If you missed Bud's KL trip, don't repeat your mistake. See Drinks On Me Bud for details.