IN BEER WE TRUST
WHITE HOUSE HASH HOUSE HARRIERS

Run #623
The Fairfax Government Center Taxation Hash

Location: Fairfax County Behemoth Government Center Monstrosity

HOT INFORMATION

WHITE HOUSE POST-CHRISTMAS PARTY, January 23 (SEE CUMMING EVENTS For Details)

GET YOUR HASH INFORMATION ELECTRONICALLY: Contact GBOF via email smythe_andrew@birdengineering.com, to be added to the WH4 electron list (Submit First & Last Name, Your Hash Name [if you have one], and put "GBOF" in the subject line, make sure you send your email address).

View from the Pack

We gathered at the Fairfax Government center. There was lots of parking and lots of good looking hashers eager to test the trail. Had-A-Madam FINALLY called us pre hash circle, we selected song helpers and sang Father Abraham. Shortly after the singing event the hares came forward with the LAST MINUTE instructions about the trail. And we were off.

I was running with Pulls It Out, Take Me Drunk, I'm Home and (just) Tom as we passed under the Fairfax Government Center. Take Me Drunk, I'm Home was relating to us about her latest take me home experience it was really EXCITING (ask her for the details and a peek show!!!!!). We then wound around the parking lot of the complex and crossed a street with a check. The gang got lost for a minute then recovered. It was very nice seeing Bad Dog partially dressed, he had a formal top and his obnoxious self on the bottom, what a sight!!! As we finally got back on trail we began to come around another large office building. At this point I saw a LOT of GEESE and saw Watergate, Beastie Bush, 2 Lips On A Dyke (in a racing shirt I will have you know). I also saw Holy Tit BIRD CHASING, I really thought he would mount on of those birds.

As we wound down around a wooded and townhouse area we got lost and finally our group saw Wilburrr and Ball Buster up ahead, as we followed them we began to wonder if we would get back on trail. Finally we found hash in the woods and we were re-united with the remainder of the pack. As we cam through a townhouse complex Hollow Point and I recognized See Dick Run's house. I stopped and pounded on the door, not only wasn't he hashing but he also wasn't home, too bad for him I think!!! Just around the bend was the beer stop and liquid refreshment. At the beer stop I talked to (just) Kirstin and her friend (just) Rob, in addition I observed DOMB and Wilburrr working on several available girls. Well finally we refilled our tanks and were off.

As we came up Monument Drive GBOF reminded me that we were on HOLY ground. This was the sight of the Civil War Battle Of Chantilly. Well all I saw was the Battle to sell townhouses ALL around me, there was NO Battlefield that I could see. TOO BAD!!!! I pulled up and talked to (just) Kathy in her Club Med shirt, she seemed to be having a great time. We then crossed a meadow and went into a wooden trail that paralleled highway 50. Then suddenly we came upon a LIQUID REFRESHMENT stop, and it was Champagne. We all sipped some of the stuff then were off.

I then talked to (just) Matt (Vomonitrax's brother in law), and (just) Russ as we were wondering along. They were REALLY enjoying the hash. As we came up to West Ox Road I knew that the end was not far. We crossed West Ox and immediately turned right into a small wooded path. I came upon Raise My Titanic and West Virginia Woody and we began to talk about things, well I found out that WV Woodie had just had her birthday and that Raise My had given her a special Woodie hat. Happy B-Day lady.

We finally came up to the access road to the Government Complex. We followed the road to a trail and then followed the trail until we were ON-IN. The hash was INTERESTING and SHORT, good job hares!!!

Some of the hashers I observed the circle included: Bad Dog, Ball Buster, Bite Me Elmo, Blazing Straddle, Blowing In The Wind, Black Box, Beastie Bush, Bramble Bush, Bull S*it, Champagne Charlie, Cock Force One, Cum-By Ya, DangeRously Close, Driving Miss Bitch, Drinks On Me Bud, Eat It Raw, Fu*k In The Muck, For Sale Or Rent, Fornikicker, Fussy Bitch, 14 Kt. Cock, Full Metal Balls, Goofy, Great Balls Of Fire, Had-A-Madam, Hairy Budha, Harem Scarem, Hasher Humper, Hawaiian Puke, Heat Seeking Moisture Missile, Hollow Point, Hymen Dickover, Leisure Suite Larry, Missed Erections, Missing Link & Beezer, Naval Jelly, Needle In Thread, Noah's Arc, Number 2, One No Trump, Orange Line To New Hurlington, Pulls It Out, Put It Out, Raise My Titanic, Ruined It For Dad, Two Lips On The Dyke, Spinal Tap, Take Me Drunk, I'm Home, Trouser Snake, Us Boobs & Oral report, Watergate, West Virginia Woody, WhereDaFakHawe, Wilburrr, Vominatrix, and Yeast Injection.

Alternative View (AKA) View From The Rear

Hello fellow hashers! This is DangeRously Close with an Alternative View. Due to the fact that the walkers quite often have their own trail, and the fact that we aren't always "in the rear", it has been decided that this column will fluctuate between being the View from the Rear and an Alternative View.

I can't begin this column without mentioning Mother Nature! WOW! 70's in December. I like to think of it as Mother Nature's way of showing enthusiasm for the hash. This was a beeeeaaautiiiiful sunny day. Most hashers arrived dressed for the warmer weather - some, including Holy Tit, even wearing shorts. It is also necessary that I mention the game of musical parking lots that we played as everyone was arriving. I pulled in, walked over to pay my money to Black Box (where was Blazing Straddle??), went back to my car to close it up, and heard mass confusion as everyone went back to their vehicles and began pulling out of the lot? Was this a very large auto- hash? What was going on?? I decided to join in the parade of cars, and blindly follow accordingly. Turns out, there was a small group of hashers in another lot - there was Blazing Straddle - wondering where the rest of us were! Well, after everyone got settled again, the combined group was very large - a terrific turnout.

The Alternative Viewers walked out of the parking area and began to follow our leader, Black Box who held the map. Well, I made the mistake of telling BB that we were on a specific road and this lead her to read the map such that we'd take a right off that road. Well, the hares had marked a nice green Walker True Trail arrow on the street pointing the opposite direction. We gathered and several people decided just to follow the map while others decided to follow the arrow. It was about this time that we saw the runners crossing the road in the direction the hares arrow would have taken us, so finally, with Driving Miss Bitch collaborating with us, we decided to stick to our map. We rounded a corner and headed (who said head?) up a long road. As we were approaching the crossover of Rt.66, several short-cut attempting runners (Hymen Dickover leading!) got confused and ended up following our sacred flour! We harshly scolded them and chased them off our trail. Hopefully they found the runners trail and aren't still out there running in circles.

After crossing Rt.66, the runners all out of view, we trudged on following our map and the wonderful hares arrows. At some point along the way, I remember seeing the following Alternative Viewers: Black Box, Driving Miss Bitch, Raise My Titanic, West Virginia Woody, Betty Crotcher, just Sun, just Annie, 4 Sale or Rent, just Nutan, Squirrel Bait, Take me Drunk I'm Home, just Chas, just Lisa, just Jenny, just Belinda, and Pullz It Out (our Dancing Debutante Escort Extraordinaire!).

The Alternative View took us past a shopping center - Christmas shopping anyone? - and we were to cross straight over the next street... then who should we spy??? Runners, crossing our path. Well, once again, the some of the dazed and confused runners tried to get on our trail, and we had to chase them off. As we walked down a long road, Take Me Drunk I'm Home told all about attending the Debutante Ball the night before. She has some wonderful tails of dancing, drinking, etc - this was sounding more and more like a hash event! Walking along, we made a turn into a small business park. Following our green Walker True Trail arrows, walking through the park, we came to the beautiful blue van and assembled with the runners. The Beer Check! Yeah!

Leaving the beer check, we had the pleasure of walking on a nice paved path through the woods... zig zag, zig zag. We discussed my current housing troubles and We came (again?) out of the woods by a condo complex, and as I ran ahead (head? Who said head?) I was stopped by someone who asked me, "Do you know where Price club is??" Well, what do I look like? An Information Guide? I politely told them I didn't know the area either, I was just running here! Well, that brought a few very confused looks. Oh well!

In honor of someone somewhere's anniversary, we were treated to a Champagne check next. We arrived after the runners, but there was still plenty left to drink. Yum Yum!

Trail back was real basic, but we enjoyed it immensely. The sun was beginning to set, the sky was beeeaaaautiful shades of orange, red and pink, and the runners were with us most of the time. What a bunch of deviants! Criss-crossing roads and weaving our way back over Rt.66 to the Fairfax County Government Center, we made our way back to the vehicles. This was not only enjoyable because of the weather, but the hares were kind to us and lead us on a schweeet trail; well marked and multi-terrain! What more can we ask for?

So went another Sunday with the White House Hash House Harrier... many happy trails until next we meet...

On-On and many happy trails... DangeRously Close

View from the Circle

After this short and straight forward hash it was good to see Shitty- Shitty-Bang-Bang, having beer served from her side door. But I was surprised to see us partying in the parking lot of the Fairfax Government Center. Is nothing sacred to our government!!!!! I began passing out the trashes and enjoying the conversation with the assembled masses. Finally, Spinal Tap and Had-A-Madam called us to circle. The hares: Cock Force One and (just) Craig were called forward to hear us all complain about their shitty trail. In a short time, Had-A-Madam had them drinking to the tune of "here's to the hares". Spinal Tap then called all the virgins forward, and low and behold we had lots of them this week this week. Here are their vitals:

Our virgins were instructed on the finer points of rapid beer consumption by Had-A-Madam. They drank to the tune of "Why Were They Born So Beautiful", welcome Virgin Class Of #623, enjoy the hash. We had 2 Visitors, they included: (1) Dictionary from San Jose H3, and (2) MCONF, from Kiristan H3. They drank in their new free WH4 give-away souvenir visitor mugs to the tune of "10 Toes". Y'al all come back and see us again some time. We had no LONG TIME NO SEE's. too bad

Our violations included Orange Line To New Hurlington and Yeast Injection for matrimony, Brew Crew for one brew all brews, (just) Dan for stretching before the hash, and Bull Shit and (just) Steve for damsel in distress parking lot style. The YELLOW JERSEY went to Hairy Buddha for auto hashing in first. Our anniversaries included Blazing Straddle for 69 runs and GBOF for 169 runs.

FORTUNATELY we had 2 namings this week. First (just) Phillip was brought into the circle and ragged upon by several of his "FRIENDS", the possible names included (1) Drinking Stein, (2) Cripple Dick, (3) Water Bot, (4) A Stitch In Time Saves Mine, (5) Two Young Foe, (6) Pet A File, (7) Pig Skin, (8), Knee Service, (9) Dick Is Fine, (10) On His Knees, (11) He Sucks, (12) Knee Sucks, (13) On Your Knees Babe, (14) Baby Eyes, and (15) Jail Bait. After much deliberation, hence forth and forever more in the WH4 and the World Of Hashing you will be known as:

Go out and use it!!!! The second naming has (just)?????? My notes are BEER ERIDACTED come forward and get nailed by his friends. From this activity we had the following possibles come out: (1) Lock Up Dick, (2) Slim Jim, (3) Master Cock. (4) Nukie, (6) Cock Smith, (7) Right Key Wrong Hole, and (8) Jimmy Job. After MUCH thought, hence forth and forever more in the WH4 and The World Of Hashing you will be known as:

Go out and find the right one guy!!!!!

Awarding Of The Hashit

To make a long story short Hairy Budha got the hashit, he was so BADDDDD (Auto hashing in the yellow jersey) that we wanted him to spend a week trying to figure out how to let it go. Hairy Guy STOP doing stupid things and maybe you will get rid of the thing. PS please don't give it to Lazy Mother F**er.

After several minutes of CROWD CONTROL, Had-A-Madam asked the group, "when is the 669th running of the WH4" and we answered with "sometime in the future". Then Had-A-Madam & Spinal Tap lead us in several versions of our SWING SONG, and then they closed with the phrase "May The Hash Go In Peace", and we responded with our normally stupid answer of "May The Hash Get A Piece".

View from the ON ON ON

The location was Thursdays Sports Bar at Jermantown Square in Fairfax. The place was a warm and friendly sports bar. I think we really SURPRISED the locals. The cost vitals were $5.00 covered a GREAT buffet of tacos and processed chicken to name a few, and drinks were somewhat reduced but on your own. The group fragmented into table clicks but a few hardy souls moved around and keep the crowd entertained. US Boobs and Oral Report came directly from her Tenn return. Fag and his female acquaintance were feeling asses, For Sale Or Rent was her charming self once again. All in all it was a good time. The crowd thinned out and the hash was history for another week. Say good night Big Bird Turd, "GOOD NIGHT BIG BIRD TURD".

In my CONSTANT REMINDER section Cum-By-Ya for returning to his roots and spending an afternoon with us. Meat Puppet and Exhibit A & B for not showing up to discuss the measurement issue. Ruined It For Dad because of his GREAT Tuesday diner party he hosted, and that I missed. Drinks On Me Bud for his 40th Birthday and the celebration and Wilburrr and Physical Terrorist for the associated event to celebrate the occasion. Put It Out (FOREVER & EVER) for his attitude and religious abuse of the hash and Pulls It Out for not calling Fussy Bitch and pissing her off. Fussy Bitch for being a REALLY nice girl under all that bitch façade.

On, On, Big Bird Turd

RECEEDING HARELINE

#625 December 13: 3:00 PM Hares: Cowpoke-Her & Squirrel Bait Start: TRW Bldg, 1895 Preston White Drive, Reston VA
#626 December 20: 3:00 PM Hares: Had-A-Madam Start: Ellipse / Nat'l Xmas Tree [outside Bubba's White House] On-On-On: TBD
#627 December 27: 3:00 PM Hares: Pussy Whipped & ?.
#628 January 3: 3:00 PM Hares: Sorry My Knees Hurt, Target Practice, & Fag
#629 January 10: 3:00 PM Pricewaterhouse & Coopers Dweeb Accounting Hash Hares: Pay Per View, Keyless Entry, & The Mayor; Start: PWC, Fair Lakes, VA
#630 January 17: 3:00 PM LOOKING FOR HARES
#631 January 24: 3:00 PM The Bitchin' Hash Hares: 50 $ Bitch, Fussy Bitsh, Driving Ms Bitch, & Put The Bitch Down
#632 Hanuary 31: 3:00 PM Super Bowl Hash Hares: Love Me Tender & No Butts, No Glory [fourth year in a row!] WE ARE ALWAYS LOOKING FOR HARES. If interested, contact GBOF at 703-876-4772.

CUMMING EVENTS

MOUNT VERNON H3 XMAS WHITE ELPEHANGE GIVEAWAY HASH: December 12 1998 10:00 there will be souvenir clothing giveaways and a gift exchange. Bring a White Elephant wrapped for exchange. Call PUD JAM0 for details.

FUSSY BITCH 30th BIRTHDAY EXPERIENCE HASH & PARTY: ???December 12 1998 6 PM??? ; CHECK with Fussy Bitch for details and to check date.

MAD DOG'S 13TH ANNUAL HANGOVER HELPER HASH: January 1, 1999 1PM at the University of Maryland Science and Technology Center. This is a Maryland Dirt Road Hash event and it is GREAT, make it if you can. See me for details!!!

WHITE HOUSE H4 POST CHRISTMAS PARTY: Saturday January 23, 1999, Forest Glen Ballroom, Silver Springs, Maryland. $20.00 if paid in 1998, 35.00 if paid in 1999, so sign up and pay early!!! More details to follow.

MOUNT VERNON H3 600TH HASH & "FIRST BLUE MOON OF 99" FULL MOON HASH: Saturday January 30, 1999 This will be a JOINT hash to begin at 7:00 PM. Location and details to follow.

MARDI GRAS MADNESS IX HASH WEEKEND: Feb 12-16 1999. Fussy Bitch is leading a trip to the great city of New Orleans to raise some hell and drink some beer over Mardi Gras. See Fussy for details (she has a handout that covers it all), it is a great time.

PANAMA HASH HOUSE HARRIERS 1000 RUN: March 5-7 1999. Quick Drawers is coordinating our participation as a group, more to follow. If this is anything like the Costa Rica 1000th "DON'T MISS IT"!

INTERAFRICA HASH 99: June 4-6 1999 In Zimbabwe, near Lake Victoria, See Mellow Foreskin Cheese for details.

INTERAMERICAS HASH 99: September 3-6 1999. Hosted by, "http://www.transarc.com/afs/transarc.com/public/demi/html/ph3-home.html", Pennsylvania. Contact Jim "Whiff" Montgomery, (412) 431-7350, or "Dead Kennedy," e-mail brady@serviceware.com. Official address: InterAmericas Hash '99, John Olson, 723 5th St, Oakmont, PA 15139 USA. e-mail IAH99@webtv.net - Internet: "http://www.interhash.simplenet.com/REGFORM.html" (rego form)

INTEREUROPE HASH 99: Early October 1999. Location central Turkey, Drinks On Me Bud is contemplating another group excursion, details to follow. If you missed Bud's KL trip, don't repeat your mistake. See Drinks On Me Bud for details.

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