Date: December 6, 1998
Hares: (just) Kirstin now Butt Plug & Trouser Snake
Location: Deep Arlington near The Quarterdeck
WHITE HOUSE POST-CHRISTMAS PARTY, January 23 (SEE CUMMING EVENTS For Details)
GET YOUR HASH INFORMATION ELECTRONICALLY: Contact GBOF via email smythe_andrew@birdengineering.com, to be added to the WH4 electron list (Submit First & Last Name, Your Hash Name [if you have one], and put "GBOF" in the subject line, make sure you send your email address).
Due to time and Attention Deficit here is a QUICK Run down of the hash:
Overall long hash, lots of concrete and lots of Arlington, another Trouser Snake Production. Thanks to the hares.
Alternative View (AKA) View From The Rear
Hello fellow hashers, this is DangeRously Close with your Alternative View for Sunday, December 6th.
Today was another wonderful, sunny Sunday. Mother Nature is being her gracious self, and providing the perfect hash weather. Many hashers showed up in shorts for this 75o day. It was such a beautiful day; I ended up spending a little too much time at home and thus was running late to the hash. The group must have started promptly and afier Father Abe were of and running by the time I got there at 3:07. As I got out of my car, at the Quarterdeck, I spied another late arrival... Big Bird Turd. He pointed in the direction he was headed and I went in search of Walker's trail. Crossing the street, I encountered a nice blot of flour and followed appropriately. Next glorious symbol spied was a Walker's true trail arrow and my heart skipped a beat. Following along, I found another, and another, and another. Things were beginning to look up, until I came upon an unmarked Check - thanks pack for marking the trail! I took off toward the Marihe Corps Memorial, and soon spied another True Trail Arrow. But, it wasn't for the Walker's trail. Already I had gotten off the Walker's trail! Well, I decided any trail was better than no trail, and on I went. I followed flour around the memorial and toward the Netherlands Carillon. What a beautiful sight! My trail lead me across a field, where I noticed the flour had run out. Back I ran to the last mark I'd seen. Retracing my steps, I found where I had veered off trail and completely missed the second Check. I fmally was following flour again. How interesting it must have been to the many people out enjoying this beautiful day to see a lady running back and forth three times over the same route, following the strange splotches of white powder on the pavement! I got many strange looks.
On the trail lead, down a hill and around Arlington Cemetery along the bike path the trail went. Crossing another street those wonderful white spots lead up a nice steep dirt hill and through a hedge. Popping through the hedge, I found myself on the drive leading into the Arlington Cemetery main gates. It was here that I encountered another hasher out on trail (whose name I can't remember, of course!). We ran along together following flour right up to the guard on the drive into the cemetery. Boy what the guard must have thought as we ran right up the middle of the street heading directly for him! The last spot of flour we saw was right at his feet. Can this be so? Did the hares really go into the Cemetery?
We traced our steps back, and looked up in time to discovered the walkers in the distance up in front of us! Yeah! What a sight it was to spy them all exchanging clothes in the middle of the street - this must have been a Clothing Check. Black Box even got into the spirit, and changed shirts with Trouser Snake. Hey, wait just a minute... what's this?... can it be?... Black Box and Trouser Snake had evidently color coordinated their outfits so that upon exchanging shirts they each still had on matching attire. I think we should have made them drink for making such a fashion statement! My trailmate and I decided to continue to hang back and spy from afar our fellow hashers. This made for a very interesting trail. Along hill and dale we followed, always keeping our safe distance. It was a rather amusing sight to see them crossing streets and climbing stairs, and stopping traffic as trail lead through Rosslyn.
We spied the beer van up ahead (who said "head"?) and decided to short cut up a very steep hill toward liquid refreshment. Thinking this was the beer check, we were surprised to discover that we'd missed the beer check and Number 2 was actually setting up for the On-In. As we arrived at the van, Number 2 was looking around rather questionly and upon inquiring, we found out that he was not sure he was in the correct location. But, we all continued to unload the beer van and set up the tables, cups and snacks. Within rninutes we heard whistles in the distance and shouts of "Beer Near" and "On-In". It was all rather confusing as the pack began heading toward us with quizzical looks on their faces. Obviously trail was leading them in a different direction, but they were smart enough to ditch trail and head toward BEER! Quite a crowd had gathered when Trouser Snake and Just Kristen* (Hare apparents) informed us all that we were not in the correct spot. Sooooo, everyone pitched in and with cups in hand, grabbed pitchers of beer and their favorite snacks and followed the hares down the street one block to a parking lot behind and apartment building. You've heard of musical chairs, this was sorta like that, only without the music!
(*It should be noted that Hare Just Kristen was named this day in a solernn and unholy ceremony and is now known as Butt Plug.)
Circle commenced and concluded as the sky began to dim, and so went another Sunday trail with the White House Hash House Harriers. Until next week, many happy trails...
On-On and many happy trails... DangeRously Close
There was confusion at the end of the hash as to where the circle area was going to be held. At first we gathered at the end of a very open street (POLICE BAIT). But after some ADULT leadership Trouser Snake and (just) Kirstin made a GOOD call and moved us to the rear parking of (just) Kirstin's apartment complex. Now this was MUCH more secluded and would be MORE difficult for the police to bust us. In all of the confusion our tried and true buddy Shitty-Shitty-Bang-Bang was serving beer to one and all. In fact I did not see the trusty girl miss a beat all day, GOOD SHOW old girl. I began passing out the trashes and enjoying the conversation with the assembled masses at the initial location and continued the activities at the new one. Finally, Cyclops and Had-A-Madam called us to circle. The hares: Trouser Snake & (just) Kirstin were called forward to hear us all complain about their shitty trail. In a short time, Had-A-Madam had them drinking to the tune of "here's to the hares". Cyclops then called all the virgins forward, and low and behold we only had 3 this week. Here are their vitals:
| Name | Who Made Them Come | Temporary Hash Name | "Let Me See Your ..." |
|---|---|---|---|
| Sue | Don | Aeriana Huffington | Your Tits |
| Tony | Paul | Senator Huffington | May We Polish Your Pearls |
| Kendra | Gonza | Huff & Puffington | I Want Your Muncie |
Our virgins were instructed on the finer points of rapid beer consumption by Had-A-Madam. They drank to the tune of "Why Were They Born So Beautiful", welcome Virgin Class Of #624, enjoy the hash. We had 5 Visitors, they included: (1) Piggy Wiggly from Okinawa H3, (2) U2 from Okinawa H3, (3) Sex, Life & Porn from Chicago H3, (4) Deliverance from Silicone Valley H3, and (5) No Erector from Samari H3. They drank in their new free WH4 give-away souvenir visitor mugs to the tune of "The Roof". Y'all come back and see us again some time. We had no SIX (6) LONG TIME NO SEE's, they were (1) Next Week, (2) Jingle Balls, (3) Slip Knot, (4) Rainbow Dick, (5) Great Puck,.and (6) Love Canal. Cyclops had they drinking to "10 Toes Up/down".
Our next MAJOR event was the NAVAL ASS KISSING. GBOF was called forward to kiss Had-A- Madam's ass because the Army had beaten the Navy in football on Saturday (GO Army!!!!!!). Unfortunately GBOF did not show any emotion and wound up only pecking at Had-A's ass. This event took place to the tune of Wankers Away, and it was not an awe-inspiring event. O-well what can you expect from those navy types!!! Some of the other violations included Blazing Straddle for a shirt lending affair with another hasher, and #2 for AWFULLY dirty underwear in the front seat of Shitty-Shitty-Bang-Bang (even Shitty doesn't deserve that kind of shittyness), Oreo & Goofey for new shoes (his leg unit is TOOOOOO new not to require a drinking), and #2 again for some point of order thing or another.
The main event of the circle this week was Drinks On Me Bud's 40th Birthday and the cake we made to celebrate the event. In fact DOMB was the mixing bowl for the cake. After we placed his bare ass on the block we had a progression of CUTE ingredients girls and ULGY Wilburrr adding those ingredients one at a time. Some of the helpers included Blazing Straddle, Physical Terrorist, and Missed Erections. The ingredients were added in the following order (I Think!!). Pour a bag of flour on his head to get everyone excited, wash with liquid yeast (beer) to cause an erection, add one egg cracked on his head to add body, repeat liquid yeast for additional erections, add brown sugar to attract PYT's, pour more liquid yeast to attempt another erection, then squirt LOTS of WHIPPED CREAM all over the head to cover up any remaining bald spots, then add candles for the flame of it all. After we stopped laughing with MICKIE we all serenaded him with the Happy Birthday F*ck you tune. Thanks for the memories guy, you are GREAT for the hash.
FORTUNATELY we had 3 namings this week. First (just) Kirstin (one of our hare's) was brought into the circle and ragged upon by several of her "FRIENDS", the possible names included (1) Likes It In The Rear, (2) Butt Floss, (3) Fire In The Bed, (4) Desperately Seeking Sex, (5) Crimson Bush, (6) Fire In The Rear, (7) Butt Plug, (8) Red Eye Special, (9) Paddle Me Gently, (10) Preparation Hash, and (11) Tail Light. After much deliberation, hence forth and forever more in the WH4 and the World Of Hashing (just) Kirstin will be known as:
The second naming has (just) Tina. She is a very quiet and shy type, but we were acquainted with her medical profession and some very interesting background to work with. Although we started slowly we had a good time with this one. The possibles included, (1) Candy Strip, (2) Melts In Your Mouth, (3) Candy Stripper, (4) Prescribed Sex, (5) Sugar Bush, (6) Head Nurse, and (7) Catheter Queen. After MUCH thought and several votes, hence forth and forever more in the WH4 and The World Of Hashing (just) Tina will be known as:
And finally, Had-A-Madam began telling us a story about someone named The Refrigerator, and that we had our own BIG GUY that we needed to name. So, we brought (just) Tony our "The Toaster" guy forward to get his NAMING. We had a good time with this one. Everyone in the circle got UP for this naming. LOTS of people told us about his Merchant Marine Academy background, and his current job stuff; and his current girly sex stuff. All in all we knew a lot of STUFF about (just) Tony. As you can imagine the names came a flowing in LARGE numbers, they included; (1) Last Mate, (2) Seeman First Class, (3) The Toaster, (4) Queze A Nut, (5) Easy Bake Oven, (6) Jiffy Pop, (7) Seaman First Ass, (8) Toast Her, (9) Semper Queen, (10) Burnt Toast, (11) Erector Set, (12) Any Plug Will Do, (13) Cabin Boy, and (14) AC/DC. WE voted and we voted and FINALLY we ALL agreed upon a name. Hence forth and forever more in the WH4 and The World Of Hashing (just) Tony will be known as:
May you always remember the beer on your head, the fun as you were named, and the great feeling that comes with your very own name. Have fun with the names!!!!
This was interesting this week, we had Shave Me Elmo and Dick Is Fine called forward for gross stupidity. After some deep thought Dick Is Fine won our award for his Bicycle Mugging while on trail. Hey guy you really have it. As he was awarded the hashit, he was warned to watch it with his life. Well his LIFE apparently isn't worth much. From what I understand Big Bird Turd observed it unattended at the On-On-On, and rumor has it that Dick Is Fine does not have it. O-Where-O-Where could the hashit be????
After several minutes of CROWD CONTROL, Had-A-Madam asked the group, "when is the 669th running of the WH4" and we answered with "sometime in the future". Then Had-A-Madam & Cyclops lead us in several versions of our SWING SONG, and then they closed with the phrase "May The Hash Go In Peace", and we responded with our predictable answer of "May The Hash Get A Piece".
Our post hash gathering was at Pettibone's of Rosslyn. Our deal of the day was $5 pitchers of beer. We were on our own for food. There were lots of people watching the Chiefs and Broncos football game. It was a shame that the wrong team lost, GO CHIEFS boo Broncos. DOMB was having a ball celebrating his B- Day, and Wilburrr was really enjoying the ladies A LOT. Next Week was trying to take digital photos of the gang, but his camera was not cooperating. US Boobs, Butt Plug, Missed Erections, and Amkneesia were really cutting up the entire evening. Everyone seemed to really enjoy themselves, and eventually the crowd thinned out and the hash was history for another week. Say good night Big Bird Turd, "GOOD NIGHT BIG BIRD TURD".
In my CONSTANT REMINDER section Drinks On Me Bud for the birthday cake celebration. Butt Plug for confusing the hash with her ON-IN location. Amkneesia & Next Week for showing up at the On- On-On. Ruined It For Dad for caring SO MUCH. Meat Puppet and Exhibit A & B for FAlLING to show up to and discuss the measurement issue. Put It Out (FOREVER & EVER) for his attitude and religious abuse of the hash. And Dick Is Fine for letting me steal the hashit from him at Pettibones.
on,on, Big Bird Turd
#626 December 20: 3:00 PM Hares: Had-A-Madam Start: Ellipse / Nat'l Xmas
Tree [outside Bubba's White House] On-On- On: TBD
#627 December27: 3:'00 PM Hares: Pussy whipped & ?, Start: TBD,
On-On-On: TBD
#628 January 3: 3:00 PM Hares: Sorry My Knees Hurt, Target Practice, &
Fag, Start: TBD, On-On-On: TBD
#629 January 10: 3:00 PM Pricewaterhouse & Coopers Dweeb Accounting Hash
Hares: Pay Per View, Keyless Entry, & The Mayor; Start: PWC, Fair Lakes,
VA
#630 January 17:3:00 PM LOOKING FOR HARES
#631 January 24: 3:00 PM The Bitchin' Hash Hares: 50 $ Bitch, Fussy Bitch,
Driving Ms Bitch, & Put The Bitch Down, Start: TBD, On-On-On: TBD
#632 January 31: 3:00 PM Super Bowl Hash Hares: Love Me Tender & No Butts,
No Glory (fourth year in a row!), Start: TBD, On-On-On: TBD
#633 February 7: 3:00 PM Hares: Great Balls Of Fire & [just] Susan, Start:
TBD, On-On-On: TBD
#634 February 14: 3:00 PM Valentine's Day Hash Hares: Shave Me Elmo & Put
It Out, Start: TBD, On-On-On: TBD
WE ARE ALWAYS LOOKING FOR HARES. If interested, contact GBOF at 703-876-4772.
FUSSY BITCH 30th BIRTHDAY EXPERIENCE HASH & PARTY: ???December 19, 1998, 6 PM???; CHECK with Fussy Bitch for details and to check date.
MAD DOG'S l3th ANNUAL HANGOVER HELPER HASH: January 1,1999 1PM at the University of Maryland Science and Technology Center. This is a Maryland Dirt Road Hash event and it is GREAT, make it if you can. See me for details!!!
INDIA NASH HASH: January 15-l8 1998 http://friends.cgnet.com/hhhh/India Nash Hash '99
WHITE HOUSE H4 POST CHRISTMAS PARTY: Saturday January 23, 1999, Forest Glen Balkoom, Silver Springs, Maryland. $20.00 if paid in 1998, 35.00 if paid in 1999, so sign up and pay early!!! More details to follow.
MOUNT VERNON H3 600th HASH & "FIRST BLUE MOON OF 99" FULL MOON HASH: Saturday January 30, 1999 This will be a JOINT hash to begin at 7:00 PM. Location and details to follow.
MARDI GRAS MADNESS IX HASH WEEKEND: Feb 12-16 1999. Fussy Bitch is leading a trip to the great city of New Orleans to raise some hell and drink some beer over Mardi Gras. See Fussy for details (she has a handout that covers it all), it is a great time.
PANAMA HASH HOUSE HARRIERS 1000 RUN: March 5-7 1999. Quick Drawers is coordinating our participation as a group, more to follow. If this is anything like the Costa Rica 1000th "DON'T MISS IT"!
AUSSIE NASH HASH '99: April24, 1999 http://www.hhh.asn.au/events/Nash99_1.html
AFRICA INTERHASH '99: June 4-6 1999 In Zimbabwe, near Lake Victoria, See Mellow Foreskin Cheese for details.
UK NASH HASH '99: August 27-30 1999 http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/stephentaylor/nashhash.htm
AMERICAS INTERHASH '99: September 34 1999. Hosted by, "http://www.transarc.com/afs/transarc.com/public/demi/html/ph3-home.html", Pittsburgh H3,Pennsylvania. Contact Jim "Whiff" Montgomery, (412) 431-7350, or "Dead Kennedy," e-mail brady@serviceware.com. Official address: InterAmericas Hash '99, John Olson, 723 5th St, Oakmont, PA 15139 USA. e-mail IAH99@webtv.net - Internet: "http://www.interhash.simplenet.com/REGFORM.html" (rego form)
EUROHASH 99: September 17-19, 1999. Location central Turkey http://www.dominet.com.tr/users/ersin/hash/Eurohash '99 Drinks On Me Bud is contemplating another group excursion, details to follow. If you missed Bud's KL trip, don't repeat your mistake. See Drinks On Me Bud for details.
PAN ASIA HASH '99: October 29-31, 1999 http://www.softwest.net.au/panasia99
INTERHASH 2000: February 25-27, 2000 Tasmania, Australia