Date: December 13, 1998
Hares: Cowpoke-Her, Squirrel Bait, 14 Karat Cock, & Dream Beaver
Location: Deep In The Suburbs Of Reston VA
WHITE HOUSE CHRISTMAS PARTY, January 23 (SEE CUMMING EVENTS For Details)
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Last week hash was a WET and Wild one. The gang gathered at the TRW building off of Sunset Valley Parkway. For a rainy affair we had well over 80 hearty souls showed up for the punishment of cold and rain. Winter is FINALLY here!!
The group circles and sang FATHERLY songs then walkers went this way and runners or people who think they are went that way. The runner’s that-a-way was toward the route 66 mud and underpass. The runners wound around the west side of the expressway and traveled over lots of mud and slime. They even made a journey to Lake Fairfax County Park where several in the group got lost and. One of these wankers was Ruined It For Dad, he was so lost we had to send in the walkers to recover him!!!
After an uneventful and SPEEDY beer stop the group wound down toward Beulah Road and then wound back into the wooded area adjacent to the start. After some more mud and fun they were in and the mess was over. Happy Holidays and see you sooooooon..
A few of the wankers I saw included: Bare Back, Bavarian Bush, Black Box, Blazing Straddles, Blowing In The Wind, Celtic Climax, Champaigne Charlie, Cowpoke-Her, DangeRously Close, Drinks On Me Bud, Duck Job, Eat It Raw, Fly The Friendly Thighs, For Sale Or Rent, 14Kt. Cock, Fussy Bitch, Goofy, Goomba, GBOF, Had-A-Madam, Harem Scarem, Hasher Humper, Hawaiian Puke, Ick, Liebe Dick, Late Cummer, Mammorex, Missed Erections, Missing Link, Needle In Thread, Number 2, Put It Out, Pulls It Out, Sorry My Knees Hurt, Take Me Drunk, I’m Home, US Boobs & Oral report, 2 Lips On A Dyke, Zimboobwe, Wilburrr, WhereDaFakHawe, Vominatrix, and Spinal Tap.
Hello fellow hashers.... this is DangeRously Close with your Alternative View for the Revenge of the Grinch trail.
Well, Mother Nature decided we've had enough sunny Sundays; today was dreary and drizzly - perhaps this was a sign from the 'ole Grinch himself! Despite all this, there seemed to be a good crowd of Santa's elves and Grinches gathering in the parking lot of the TRW building.
Today's trail was live hared by 14K Cock, Dream Beaver, Cow Poke Her, and Squirrel Bait. Hares took off into the beyond as the pack milled around in their festive holiday gear. There was tinsel, Santa hats, numerous portions of Grinch outfits, one Grinch complete with tights and a mask (What a brave man you are Blowin In The Wind to wear tights!), and even our own hash Frosty (super outfit Black Box!).
The running portion of the pack took off in one direction, as we, the Alternative Viewers, received our instruction from Squirrel Bait. We exited the business park and crossed Sunrise Valley Drive searching for flour. Heading (who said "head"?) around the tennis courts we discovered no trail markings, so we backtracked just a little with Fussy Bitch and myself, DangeRously Close, in front scouting. We found trail and followed up a short hill to a checkback... so back down the hill we headed ("head" again) to where Spinal Tap and Black Box and the remainder of the Alternative Viewers had located true trail. True trail lead up a nicely paved hiker/biker path into a housing project.
Alternative Viewers I remember from trail include: Black Box, Spinal Tap, just Annie, Blowin' in the Wind - oops, I mean the Grinch - Blond Roots, Fussy Bitch, Bareback, and many others.
We trekked over the river and through the woods, to a very nice neighborhood where we weaved in and out of the streets. Eventually we got to a check at the opening to a dry tunnel. Two Alt.Viewers ran through the tunnel only to find a BT, while the rest of us followed the path off to the side. Next we came upon a contemporary style very large building with great windows and up on the rooftop there arouse such a clatter... no, no, no... that's another story. I suppose that even without a steeple this was a church. It was at this point that it was overheard that earlier in the day, Big Burd Turd had called Black Box to check and make sure she was cumming! Very interesting... thanks Big Bird, we wanted to know! Crossing a larger road, we began to expect beer around each new twist in the trail. BUT, on we trekked, parched but not dry (drizzling remember!). We were nearing woods when in the distance we heard whistles and found our trail crossing and intersecting with the runners. Down an overgrown strawgrass hill and onto trail we headed (did I say "head" again?). Now joined with the runners, all on the same trail, into the woods we went crossing an ex- construction area where grass has not grown yet, thus giving us plenty of mud to slip and slide in. We finally ended up on a paved trail again, heading (?) around a lake. The lake front homes had plenty of canoes stored here, but no one that I know of decided to take a spin out onto the lake. Bareback and I did catch Had-A-Madam trying to dunk Blonde Roots off a boat dock. The Grinch, as his usual vicious self - stood to the side and watched, not even attempting to cum to her aide!! After circling a bit of the lake we crossed between two sections of townhouses "and what to our wandering eyes should appear?" - no it was not a sleigh with eight tiny reindeer! It was indeed the beer/beverage we were all craving. Mingling about the wondrous blue van the crowd began to gather. You could tell that with this yucky weather and the length of trail so far, not many wanted to continue. But, the Alt.Viewers wanted to continue, so with shouts of "off you runners", we herded the runners back to their trail.
Squirrel Bait was again in charge of getting the Alternative Viewers off in the right direction. She "with her nose so bright" guided back to the On-In site. As we started off through more of the townhouses, Frosty (aka Black Box) dropped a portion of her corncob pipe, and with exclamations of "help... I've lost my pipe stem?" (which sounds rather odd considering this Frosty was a female!?!?!?) we began to look around. Finding her pencil - oops, I mean pipe stem! - she was once again a "jolly, happy soul" and so we trekked on. Bareback commented to Squirrel Bait about her cute non-hash friendly boots. To which Squirrel Bait responded, "they're part of the whole elf outfit thing that I have going"?!? It was on the trek back that Mary Poppins (aka For Sale or Rent) joined us. Now, I am not sure exactly how Mary Poppins fits into the whole Grinch-commercialism-of-Christmas theme, but there she was: head (oops, I said "head" again!) wrapped in a babushka (I think it was quite possibly GBOF's sheik's headdress in a former life... ew! just imagine GBOF's head in a dress!) and carrying the largest umbrella ever seen!
Now, back to the wrap up on trail... as we walked along, putting "one foot in front of the other", we came right back to where we'd started; the TRW parking lot. Here we gathered for beer and snacks, and the Circle. On- On-On was at Memphis BBQ and boy was it yummy!
So went another Sunday trail... And he said, as he drove out of sight, "Merry Christmas to all, and to all a Good Night". Many happy trails...
On-On and many happy trails... DangeRously Close
Because it was SOOOOO cold and wet (the rain stopped for our circle, THANK our SPIRITUAL ADVISOR) we made the circle short and sweet. Shortly after the walkers arrived the runners began to return. Lots of mud and wet outfits were observed. After MANY quick changes the beer began to flow and the trash was passed out. All was good with the world. Spinal Tap and Had-A- Madam called us to circle and the hares, Cowpoke-Her, Squirrel Bait, 14 Karat Cock, & Dream Beaver were called forward. Everyone gave them a rousing round of applause for a GREAT hash given the conditions. They drank and seemed to REALLY enjoy the pain. Next Had-A-Madam called the virgins into the circle their vitals are listed below:
| Name | Who Made Them Come | Temporary Hash Name | "Let Me See Your ..." |
|---|---|---|---|
| Michelle | (just) Paul | Little Cindy LO HO | Globes |
| Tany | Her Self (finger job here!!!) | Maa Maxine | Scrum |
| Terry | Beaver | Big Bad Grinch | Answers To Test |
| Scott | Love Canal | Roast Beer | Jingle Balls |
Our virgins were instructed on the finer points of rapid beer consumption by Had-A-Madam. They drank to the tune of “Why Were They Born So Beautiful”, welcome Virgin Class Of #625, enjoy the hash. We had 4 Visitors, they included: (1) Mr. Eric from Sicily Italy H3, (2) Stroke Me from Richmond H3, (3) Banana Hama from Key West H3, and (4) Scoup from Tross Scotland H3. They drank in their new free WH4 give- away souvenir visitor mugs to the tune of “10 toes up & 10 toes down”. Y'al all come back and see us again some time. We had no Three (3) LONG TIME NO SEE’s, they were (1) Ich Lieb A Dick, (2) Bavarian Bush, and (3) Dyper. Spinal Tap had they drinking to “Why Were They Born……”.
Our violations included: CINDERELLAS ((just) Lloyd, Spinal Tap, & (just) Todd). Mary Poppins award went to For Sale Or Rent. Had-A-Madam for religious advisor failure to prevent the RAIN!!!! Steamen Seamen for FAA shut down. Goofy for auto hashing. Dangerously Close and Pulls It Out drank for some crazy thing or another.
We had a solemn occasion when Missing Link was awarded his 200 run mug, good job “get a life” guy.
To make a long story short, Dick Is Fine left it unattended at Pettibones and I took it. But, to punish our LOOSE hasher I did not bring it to the hash, so GUESS WHAT, Dick Is Fine has it again for another week. He drank well for his lack of security on our sacred item. The real question is will I bring it this week or punish him again????????
After several minutes of CROWD CONTROL, Had-A-Madam asked the group, “when is the 669th running of the WH4” and we answered with “sometime in the future”. Then Had-A-Madam & Spinal Tap lead us in several versions of our SWING SONG, and then they closed with the phrase “May The Hash Go In Peace”, and we responded with our normally stupid answer of “May The Hash Get A Piece”.
The location was Memphis Bar-BQ Company in the Heckinger Plaza in Reston. The place was warm and friendly, and there was lots of grub!!! The price was $12 and you ate and drank ALL night. Many of the cold and tired hashers showed up for the good time and the food. Fussy Bitch was bitching as always, in fact she place LOTS of popcorn in my hat, a fact that I did not realize until I took it off at home and made a mess. Pulls It Out and Needle In Thread were also really wound up. Celtic Climax’s mother Scoop was ABSOLUTELY amazed by our behavior, apparently they don’t have this kind of fun in Scotland. Runined It For Dad and his Arlington happy hour group were also there in force and they seemed to be “a rocking and a cocking” with the best of them. All in all it was a good time. The crowd thinned out and the hash was history for another week. Say good night Big Bird Turd, “GOOD NIGHT BIG BIRD TURD”.
In my CONSTANT REMINDER section The hares MUST get mentioned for this RAINY and MUDDY trail, well done Cowpoke-Her, Squirrel Bait, 14 Karat Cock, & Dream Beaver. US Boobs & Oral Report was lost for the entire trail and only showed up as we were getting ready to depart – SOOOO SOORRYY. Ruined It For Dad for continuing to care SO MUCH, countdown he only has 10 days left in the ARMY!!!. Meat Puppet and Exhibit A & B for FAILING to show up to and discuss the measurement issue, AGAIN. Put It Out (FOREVER & EVER) for his attitude and religious abuse of the hash. And Dick Is Fine for letting me steal the hashit from him at Pettibones, and me for not bring it and causing Dick to suffer more.
On, On, Big Bird Turd
#627 December 27: 3:00 PM Hares: Pussy Whipped & ? , Start: TBD, On-On-On:
TBD
#628 January 3: 3:00 PM Hares: Sorry My Knees Hurt, Target Practice, &
Fag, Start: TBD, On-On-On: TBD
#629 January 10: 3:00 PM Pricewaterhouse & Coopers Dweeb Accounting Hash
Hares: Pay Per View, Keyless Entry, & The Mayor; Start: PWC, Fair Lakes, VA
#630 January 17: 3:00 PM Three Chicks and a `Tit' Hash Hares: Zimboobwat,
Two Lips On A Dyke, (just) Theresa, & Holy Tit
Start: TBD, On-On-On: TBD
#631 January 24: 3:00 PM The Bitchin' Hash Hares: 50 $ Bitch, Fussy
Bitsh, Driving Ms Bitch, & Put The Bitch Down, Start: TBD, On-On-On: TBD
#632 January 31: 3:00 PM Super Bowl Hash Hares: Love Me Tender & No
Butts, No Glory [fourth year in a row!] , Start: TBD, On-On-On: TBD
#633 February 7: 3:00 PM Hares: Great Balls Of Fire & [just] Susan,
Start: TBD, On-On-On: TBD
#634 February 14: 3:00 PM Valentine's Day Hash Hares: Shave Me Elmo &
Put It Out, Start: TBD, On-On-On: TBD
#635 February 21: 300 PM Valentine's Day / The Honeymoon's Over Hash
Hares: Jimi Hendrix & Oralgina, Start: TBD, On-On-On: TBD
#636 February 28: 300 PM LOOKING FOR HARES
WE ARE ALWAYS LOOKING FOR HARES. If interested, contact GBOF at 703-876- 4772.
MAD DOG’S 13TH ANNUAL HANGOVER HELPER HASH: January 1, 1999 1PM at the University of Maryland Science and Technology Center. This is a Maryland Dirt Road Hash event and it is GREAT, make it if you can. See me for details!!!
INDIA NASH HASH: January 15-18 1998 hhtp://friends.cgnet.com/hhhh/India Nash Hash ‘99
WHITE HOUSE H4 POST CHRISTMAS PARTY: Saturday January 23, 1999, Forest Glen Ballroom, Silver Springs, Maryland. $20.00 if paid in 1998, 35.00 if paid in 1999, so sign up and pay early!!! More details to follow.
MOUNT VERNON H3 600TH HASH & “FIRST BLUE MOON OF 99” FULL MOON HASH : Saturday January 30, 1999 This will be a JOINT hash to begin at 7:00 PM. Location and details to follow.
MARDI GRAS MADNESS IX HASH WEEKEND: Feb 12-16 1999. Fussy Bitch is leading a trip to the great city of New Orleans to raise some hell and drink some beer over Mardi Gras. See Fussy for details (she has a handout that covers it all), it is a great time.
PANAMA HASH HOUSE HARRIERS 1000 RUN: March 5-7 1999. Quick Drawers is coordinating our participation as a group, more to follow. If this is anything like the Costa Rica 1000th “DON’T MISS IT”!
AUSSIE NASH HASH ‘99: April 2-4, 1999 http://www.hhh.asn.au/events/Nash99_1.html
AFRICA INTERHASH ‘99: June 4-6 1999 In Zimbabwe, near Lake Victoria, See Mellow Foreskin Cheese for details.
UK NASH HASH ’99: August 27-30 1999 http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/stephentaylor/nashhash.htm
AMERICAS INTERHASH ‘99: September 3-6 1999. Hosted by Pittsburgh H3, Pennsylvania. Contact Jim "Whiff" Montgomery, (412) 431-7350, or "Dead Kennedy," e-mail brady@serviceware.com. Official address: InterAmericas Hash '99, John Olson, 723 5th St, Oakmont, PA 15139 USA. e-mail:IAH99@webtv.net - Internet: "http://www.interhash.simplenet.com/REGFORM.html" (rego form) MESSAGE FROM “Moon”. Another 1000 years down the poop-chute and Pittsburgh is bracing itself for the celebration of the century! Just wait and see what Tittsburgh has in store for you... There'll be enough beer to drown you and your ancestors back to the primordial spooge from which they were spawned, enough shiggy to clog a waffle tread, more meals and treats than Christmas Eve in Hedon and, perhaps most importantly, everyone's gonna get crude, lewd, and stewed--Burgh style! Wahoooo!!! Get ready for AIH '99 in Tittsburgh USA, Labor Day Weekend 1999. Cum one, cum all, 'cause we gonna have a ball!!!
EUROHASH 99: September 17-19, 1999. Location central Turkey http://www.dominet.com.tr/users/ersin/hash/Eurohash. Drinks On Me Bud is contemplating another group excursion, details to follow. If you missed Bud’s KL trip, don’t repeat your mistake. See Drinks On Me Bud for details.
PAN ASIA HASH ’99: October 29-31, 1999 http://www.softwest.net.au/panasia99
INTERHASH 2000: February 25-27, 2000 Tasmania, Australia