IN BEER WE TRUST
WHITE HOUSE HASH HOUSE HARRIERS

Run #626
The Holiday ROMP In The City Of Impeachment Hash

Location: The Eclipse & Surrounding Sights Of DC

HOT INFORMATION

DC FULL MOON “FIRST BLUE MOON HASH OF 1999” - Saturday January 2, 1999 6:30 PM, Washington Irving Intermediate School 8100 Old Keene Mill Road (approximately 3 miles on right after exiting 95 at exit 169B (Springfield exit).

WHITE HOUSE POST-CHRISTMAS PARTY, January 23 (SEE CUMMING EVENTS For Details)

GET YOUR HASH INFORMATION ELECTRONICALLY: Contact GBOF via email smythe_andrew@birdengineering.com, to be added to the WH4 electron list (Submit First & Last Name, Your Hash Name [if you have one], and put “GBOF” in the subject line, make sure you send your email address).

View From the Pack

It was a warm and festive day as we gathered on the Eclipse near the National Christmas Tree. The brew crew had parked Shitty-Shitty-Bang- Bang nearby so she to could celebrate with her hash buddies. Blazing Straddle and the Queen Bee Ms Black Box were registering all the little hash elf’s for the event and many of us were frustrated as we searched for parking. >Had-A-Madam and Spinal Tap FINALLY (some 20 minutes LATE, you said late isn’t that the OLD White House not the NEW White House!!!) called the group to circle up for Father Abe. For those who were NOT looking for parking, the song session was short and sweet. After some admin BS from the hares the group was OFFFFFFFFFFFFF.

The quest for the ORNAMENT hash began in the direction of the Reflection Pool then wound around to the far side of the Washington Memorial. At this location we came upon the Chief GRINCH named THE WHO Mad-Amed-My-Had-A, he told us to FIND the sacred ornament of the hash then we would receive the WORDS OF WISDON that would lead the way for our QUEST!!!! So look we did and find AFTER SOME HELP FROM THE ELF’s. MR HAD-A then read us the words of spiritual relief listed below:

Every Dem On the Hill Liked Clinton a lot
But the Reps With the Constitution behind them Did not!!!

The Reps hated Clinton! Even during this season .
Now please don’t ask why. No one quite knows the reason.
It could be that he lied and obstructed justuces.
It could, perhaps, he was too free with his lust(es).
But I think that the most likely reason of all
May have been that the Republican Party, itself, was beginning to fall.

Then they got an idea.
An awful idea!
The Republicans got a wonderful, awful idea!

“We know just what to do!” The Reps pointed at Clinton.
And together they cried out their anthem, “Impeach Him!”
They ranted and raved, “What a horrible man!”
“He ought to be hung, crucified, thrown out on his can!”

But the Dems, not to be outdone, had aplan of their own,
They said, “We’ll fight back!”, and picked up the phone
To call undecideds, Republicans all
To influence on which side of the fence they would fall.
They visited their offices.
They personally met’em.
They argued, pleaded, appealed and threatened.

At this point GRINCH #1 said, “that is ALL for this stop”, Clinton is making history, off you are to the National Museum of American History. And off we were to the next stop on the trip. It was amazing to see the swarm of hash elf’s crossing the streets of DC on this sacred day. Some even say it was SCARY.

Finally, we made it to the next stop and came upon the GRINCH called THE WHO Water-Bag-Lady-At-The-Gate. This fair elf scolded us because we were not locating the sacred ornament, but finally afted MOONING her from the hill we found it and received these words of wisdom:

And as the Reps and Dems started to shove
They heard a small sound, like the coo of a dove.
They turned around fast, and they saw the attack.
The attack on the Iraq, by the King of the Big Mac.

Don’t you know, Clinton was so smart and so quick.
He thought up a plan and he thought it up quick.
To distract both sides from impeachment proceedings.
And perhaps redirect the way they were leaning
He said, “There’s an evil man in a far away land”
“Who ignores our supremacy. And his name is Saddam!”
“An evil dictator …. Or my lie …. Which is worse?”
“Let’s stop all this bickering and deal with him first!”

At this point GRINCH #2 said, “that’s it for now, ON-ON to the Fairy Memorial on the Eclipse for the next stop.” And off we were to next ON-ON. The cars they were a zigzagging, as we crossed back over to the Eclipse area.

We finally reached our new goal and there was the GRINCH called THE WHO Beastie-In-The Morning-Bushy-Bushy. She ordered us to find the ornament, and after much to do about NOTHING, we found it and she pleased us with the following words!!!!!!!:

And the distraction worked, but for only a day.
Impeachment proceedings recommenced right away.

He hadn’t stopped impeachment from cumming.
IT CAME!!!!
Somehow or another, it came just the same.

And Clinton, heart heavy and head hung so low
Stood puzzling and puzzling: “How could it be so?”
I distracted with bombings. I distracted all day.
Even Livingston helped me distract in his way.

At this point GRINCH #3 said, “if you want another hint on life go to the Plaza Of Freedom to get the words of freedom from the next GRINCH!!!”

OFF and OFF and OFF we were a going to the Freedom Plaza for some more holiday cheer. We finally reached the plaza and came upon THE WHO That-Is-Changing-How-He-&-She-Pulls-Change-Out-Of HER-Hat-It. She instructed us to look for the ornament of life and wisdom and we did and it was good and we found it and SHE read to us:

And he puzzled three hours, till his puzzler was sore.
Then Bill Clinton thought of something he hadn’t before!
“Maybe impeachment”, he thought, “doesn’t cause that much pain.”
“Maybe impeachment … perhaps … can be used to my gain!”
An entire new Congress must convene to begin!
There’s no telling what could occur before then!

At this point GRINCH #4 said, “you have reached full circle on the impeachment process and must return to the start to meet the ORIGINAL GRINCH.

And OFF we were back toward the National Christmas Tree and the Eclipse. As we come in we saw Shitty-Shitty-Bang-Bang once again and this was our symbol of COMPLETION. Unfortunately there was on last IMPEACHMENT reading by THE WHO Mad-Amed-My-Had-A. It went something like this:

An what happened then … ?
Well … in the White House they say
That Bill Clinton’s confidence
Grew three sizes that day.

And the minute his plight didn’t seem quite so dim
He called up his staff and invited them into his office
Where he told them his plan
And he
He himself
Clinton said, “Bomb Iran!!”

This ended the hash and very quickly the circle began because of the weather and the darkness and the lets get home attitude of this tame and reserved group (HA HA).

Alternative View (AKA) View From The Rear

Hello my fellow hashers…. I hope everyone had a terrific holiday. Inspired by the excellent creative writings of Had-A-Madam, and due to the season I’ve contrived the following Holiday Hashing Carol.

To the tune of Rock Around the Christmas Tree:

Moments remembered that I could not fit into the song:

• Scavenging for a parking place as I arrived during Father Abe.
• Watching the holiday tourists gawking at the hashers doing Father Abe.
• Seeing tons of hasher ass as everyone bent over to look for the ornament Had-A-Madam had hinted was in the shrubbery around the Washington Monument Snack Bar
• Viewing the driver’s faces as we halted traffic crossing 14th street.
• Hearing numerous males comment on seeing Pay-Per-View in her flannel PJs. I think it was the first time many of them had seen her in such conservative nightwear.
• Watergate in the pagoda surrounded by a dry moat at the American History Museum, shouting, “You’re getting warmer… You’re getting even warmer… You’re cold!”
• A hare shouting, “On-On to the Boy Scout Memorial Statue”, and every hasher present reciting in unison, “What? I didn’t even know there was a Boy Scout Memorial!”
• The unofficial On-On-On at John Harvard’s, which just about everyone present including Black Box attended!

So went this Sunday’s special Holiday Hash. Until next Sunday…. Many happy trails…

On-On and many happy trails... DangeRously Close

View from the Circle

The circle stared almost immediately after the last IMPEACHMENT clue. I was caught flat footed as I scurried to my FAR FAR away car to get the trash and to give the hashit back to Dick Is Fine. He stupidly left it in my reach to steal several weeks ago. As I returned the circle was going at full speed ahead (did someone say head? And it was good and I wanted some of that...). I decided to enjoy the circle and not take a lot of notes, SOOOOOO the after hash stuff is TOTALLY from memory. Spinal Tap called the hares forward, and Had-A-Madam, Watergate, Spits It Out & Beastie Bush entered the circle for their reward. After chugging a cold beer there were gone. Had-A-Madam called the virgins into the circle, and they pranced forward, their vitals are listed below:

Our virgins were instructed on the finer points of rapid beer consumption by Had-A-Madam. They drank to the tune of “Why Were They Born So Beautiful”, welcome Virgin Class Of #626, enjoy the hash. (There were some REAL Virgins in the circle but I was too lazy to get their stats, ask them if you really want to know). We had several Visitors, I was also too lazy to get their stats if you really wan to know ask them later. They drank in their new free WH4 give-away souvenir visitor mugs to the tune of “10 toes up & 10 toes down”. Y'al all come back and see us again some time. We had no several LONG TIME NO SEE’s, they were, (you guessed it I was too lazy to care, ask them).

Our violations included: LOTS and LOTS of them, but I was PRE-OCCUPIED passing out Christmas pictures and hash baseball hats. Ask someone who cares.

We had a 100 run clebration for Trouser Snake, the guy is GREAT, congradulations on the accomplishment.

Awarding Of The Hashit

To make a long story short, Dick Is Fine left it unattended at Pettibones several weeks ago and I took it. But, to punish our LOOSE hasher I did not bring it to the hash last week, so GUESS WHAT, Dick Is Fine has it again for another week. The real question is will I bring it this week or punish him again???????? Well I did bring it and Dick Is Fine begged and begged for it, so the nice guy that I am I returned it to the STUPID one. The circle then awarded it to Pussy Whipped for his MISSING HAIR. Did he really pay someone to do that, or was it just a lawn mower gone wild!!!

After several minutes of CROWD CONTROL, Had-A-Madam asked the group, “when is the 669th running of the WH4” and we answered with “sometime in the future”. Then Had-A-Madam & Spinal Tap lead us in several versions of our SWING SONG, and then they closed with the phrase “May The Hash Go In Peace”, and we responded with our normally stupid answer of “May The Hash Get A Piece”.

View from the “Unofficial” ON ON ON

The location the “UNOFFICIAL” On-On-On was John Harvard’s Brew House 1299 Pennsylvania Ave, NW. We returned to this warm and festive place once again for our holiday merriment ON-ON-ON. The selected beers were $2 a pint and the food was pay from the menu. WE had a GREAT turnout. Champagne Charlie and Eat It Raw were there with a visitor, they occupied the end of the bar for most of the night. Pussy Whipped, Bare Back and several other of the OTH crowd were occupying the far corner of the bar area, and let me say they were REALLY in to the holiday CELEBRATION thing. Ball Buster was at the other end of the bar being REALLY persuaded by the guys, boy is she a popular hash item!!! Celtic Climax and Dumb ‘N’ Dumber were working the crow like good Scotts. Latin Analyst and Missed Erections were in the best of holiday form, and Cyclops even came for a hamburger and some holiday merry making. After many hours of social holiday interaction the crowd thinned and the hash was done for another week.

In my CONSTANT REMINDER section The hares MUST get mentioned for this EXCITING and festive event. Thanks Had-A-Madam and you elf crew for the memories. Ruined It For Dad for continuing to care SO MUCH, his get out of the Army countdown is down to 2 days left in the ARMY!!!. Meat Puppet and Exhibit A & B for FAILING to show up AGAIN, to and discuss the measurement issue. Put It Out (FOREVER & EVER) for his attitude and religious abuse of the hash. Pussy Whipped, Bare Back and the other OTH’ers for showing up after their very successful 800th run.

On, On, Big Bird Turd

RECEEDING HARELINE

#628 January 3: 3:00 PM Hares: Sorry My Knees Hurt, Target Practice, & Fag, Start: Waterfront Metro Station, Green Line, `M' and 4th Streets, S.W. [near EPA], On-On-On: H.I. Ribsters, 800 Water Street SW [about 3 blocks from the start]
#629 January 10: 3:00 PM Pricewaterhouse & Coopers Dweeb Accounting Hash Hares: Pay Per View, Keyless Entry, & The Mayor; Start: PWC, Fair Lakes, VA
#630 January 17: 3:00 PM Three Chicks and a `Tit' Hash Hares: Zimboobwat, Two Lips On A Dyke, (just) Theresa, & Holy Tit Start: TBD, On-On-On: TBD
#631 January 24: 3:00 PM The Bitchin' Hash Hares: 50 $ Bitch, Fussy Bitsh, Driving Ms Bitch, & Put The Bitch Down, Start: TBD, On-On-On: TBD
#632 January 31: 3:00 PM Super Bowl Hash Hares: Love Me Tender & No Butts, No Glory [fourth year in a row!] , Start: TBD, On-On-On: TBD
#633 February 7: 3:00 PM Hares: Great Balls Of Fire & [just] Susan, Start: TBD, On-On-On: TBD
#634 February 14: 3:00 PM Valentine's Day Hash Hares: Shave Me Elmo & Put It Out, Start: TBD, On-On-On: TBD
#635 February 21: 3:00 PM Valentine's Day / The Honeymoon's Over Hash Hares: Jimi Hendrix & Oralgina, Start: TBD, On-On-On: TBD
#636 February 28: 3:00 PM Belgian Nash Hash Pre-Lewd Hares: Pay Per View & ?, Start: Van Dorn Metro, On-On-On: Nick's

WE ARE ALWAYS LOOKING FOR HARES. If interested, contact GBOF at 703-876- 4772.

CUMMING EVENTS

MAD DOG’S 13TH ANNUAL HANGOVER HELPER HASH: January 1, 1999 1PM at the University of Maryland Science and Technology Center. This is a Maryland Dirt Road Hash event and it is GREAT, make it if you can. See me for details!!!

DC FULL MOON “FIRST BLUE MOON HASH OF 1999”: Saturday January 2, 1999 6:30 PM in Washington Irving Intermediate School Old Keene Mill Road (approximately 3 miles on right after exiting 95 at exit 169B (Springfield exit). Hares: Missing Link & ??; Start: Washington Irving Intermediate School Old Keene Mill Road Springfield Area; On-On-On: Gino’s Pizza In Franconia.

INDIA NASH HASH: January 15-18 1998 hhtp://friends.cgnet.com/hhhh/India Nash Hash ‘99

WHITE HOUSE H4 POST CHRISTMAS PARTY: Saturday January 23, 1999, Forest Glen Ballroom, Silver Springs, Maryland. $20.00 if paid in 1998, 35.00 if paid in 1999, so sign up and pay early!!! More details to follow.

MOUNT VERNON H3 600TH HASH & “FIRST BLUE MOON OF 99” FULL MOON HASH : Friday January 29, 1999 This will be a JOINT hash to begin at 7:00 PM. Mclean VFW, Band, Beer, Pizza and LOTS OF FUN. Hares: Stained Sheets, Full Metal Balls, Perk-A-Set, Big Bird Turd, Start: McLean VFW Spring Hill Road & Old Dominion Road McLean VA, On-On-On: McLean VFW Spring Hill Road & Old Dominion Road McLean VA

MARDI GRAS MADNESS IX HASH WEEKEND: Feb 12-16 1999. Fussy Bitch is leading a trip to the great city of New Orleans to raise some hell and drink some beer over Mardi Gras. See Fussy for details (she has a handout that covers it all), it is a great time.

PANAMA HASH HOUSE HARRIERS 1000 RUN: March 5-7 1999. Quick Drawers is coordinating our participation as a group, more to follow. If this is anything like the Costa Rica 1000th “DON’T MISS IT”!

AUSSIE NASH HASH ‘99: April 2-4, 1999 http://www.hhh.asn.au/events/Nash99_1.html

AFRICA INTERHASH ‘99: June 4-6 1999 In Zimbabwe, near Lake Victoria, See Mellow Foreskin Cheese for details.

UK NASH HASH ’99: August 27-30 1999 http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/stephentaylor/nashhash.htm

AMERICAS INTERHASH ‘99: September 3-6 1999. Hosted by Pittsburgh H3, Pennsylvania. Contact Jim "Whiff" Montgomery, (412) 431-7350, or "Dead Kennedy," e-mail brady@serviceware.com. Official address: InterAmericas Hash '99, John Olson, 723 5th St, Oakmont, PA 15139 USA. e-mail:IAH99@webtv.net - Internet: "http://www.interhash.simplenet.com/REGFORM.html" (rego form) MESSAGE FROM “Moon”. Another 1000 years down the poop-chute and Pittsburgh is bracing itself for the celebration of the century! Just wait and see what Tittsburgh has in store for you... There'll be enough beer to drown you and your ancestors back to the primordial spooge from which they were spawned, enough shiggy to clog a waffle tread, more meals and treats than Christmas Eve in Hedon and, perhaps most importantly, everyone's gonna get crude, lewd, and stewed--Burgh style! Wahoooo!!! Get ready for AIH '99 in Tittsburgh USA, Labor Day Weekend 1999. Cum one, cum all, 'cause we gonna have a ball!!!

EUROHASH 99: September 17-19, 1999. Location central Turkey http://www.dominet.com.tr/users/ersin/hash/Eurohash Drinks On Me Bud is contemplating another group excursion, details to follow. If you missed Bud’s KL trip, don’t repeat your mistake. See Drinks On Me Bud for details.

PAN ASIA HASH ’99: October 29-31, 1999 http://www.softwest.net.au/panasia99

INTERHASH 2000: February 25-27, 2000 Tasmania, Australia

Back to the Archives Index