Date: January 10, 1999
Hares: Pay-Per-View, Keyless Entry, The Mayor, & Burning Busch
Location: PriceWaterhouseCoopers Building, Fair Lakes
The pack took off promptly, sort of. We started out relatively well until someone (yes, SOMEONE was paying attention!!) realized that there was no flour. Well, at least there was no flour anyone could SEE. It seems we were following flour, as is the norm, but being that flour is WHITE and so is snow, it was like looking for hardboiled eggs in a chicken house.
Of course, instead of looking, most of us Wankers milled about and socialized. A few hardy souls, the names of whom escape me completely at this point in the week (hey, its Tuesday! This happened Sunday, it's been two whole days!) forged bravely out to look for flour. Several of us debated the merits of using white flour on white snow and determined the snow could have had the courtesy to at least be yellow. With that said, the sound of whistles came from the left and we took off, no one had yet actually seen flour.
Again, we stopped. It may have been a check, but then again, it may have not been. Several determined hashers plunged into the underbrush and trees and hollered "on-on" -- so "on-on" we went. We found ourselves slipping and sliding through the woods, then over a bridge (thanks to Phone Sachs). Trail continued to our left, at this point the flour began to look beige. I'm not completely sure why it now appeared to be beige, nor do I care to know, but it certainly made following trail a tad easier.
However, trail itself was NOT easy to run. It was icy. It was slippery. It was very exciting. I personally was passed by a number of folks, but the only ones I can remember are the Hasher-Formerly-Known-As Speedy (now Ice Chest) and whats-her-face -- okay so I can't remember her name either, but she has blonde hair... oh. Nevermind. Oh yeah, and I passed Drop Box. He'll be excited to see his new name in print.
Ooo, and (just) Stephanie who was sporting eye-numbing tie dyed shorts with turquoise tights... who could forget that color combo? She was visible via radar. I'll get better at this I promise. Next time I'll be prepared (rather than be recruited at the END of the run by Big Bird -- that turd!).
We slipped and slided and careened into the beer check. We drank. We left. But trail was no where to be found. We went straight, we went left, we went right, we would have gone up if we could have figured out a way to do so, and then, a sure sign of the blind leading the blind, we saw walkers and headed that way.
Which brings us to the end of this totally lame tale. Until next week! (think they'll hire me for the job of scribe???)
On-On Bite Me Elmo...
Hello my fellow hashers...I hope everyone is enjoying Mother Nature's wishy washy weather. Fortunately this Sunday was a perfect winter hash day. The sun was slunning, and as we gathered on the upper level of the parking garage, I didn't hear one complaint about the weather or temperatures.
Walker's instructions were given, as usual, to our fearless leader, Her Highness, Miss Black Box. We were to follow trail to the beer check. Off we went down the road, into a nice neighborhood attempting to follow flour, which as Bite Me Elmo pointed out above, isn't easy in the snow! Soon we realized that the hares were using something other than flour... something with a putrid yellow color. Many comments were made amongst the walkers about the color being quite confusing with the number of dogs on trail... if you get what I mean. Those following the Alternative trail, and those I remember from trail include: Black Box, just Annie, Spits It Out, Keil Bastard, HereDaFaKhawe, Raise My Titanic, Take Me Drunk I'm Home, Missing Link with Beezer, Eat It Raw, and For Sale or Rent.
Anyway... through the neighborhood streets we went, out into the woods. In the woods, we wandered aimlessly hashers hashers everywhere, everyone attempting to follow something, anything resembling trail markings. Everyone seemed to be foraging their own way. We crossed a stream, using an old beaver dam. I think, to keep our feet warm and dry. Through the woods we went, everyone leisurely chatting and having a calm afternoon. Out of the woods, and onto a path along the back property edge of several homeowners we went. It was here that I remember everyone very gingerly stepping, as the snow and slush were somewhat frozen, making a nice slick surface; good for ice skating, but not for hashing!
As we moved right along, the path soon cum out onto a road, and we walked across a field and up the side of the road, and around a corner where we were surprised to see the longed for beer wagon. No warm cider today, but we really didn't need it at this point. The runners were already there, and after a quick stop the walkers were instructed which direction to go. We lingered just a bit and were off. The beer check was a check for the runners, and most of them took off in the direction opposite the way we were headed (Who said "head"?). The walkers cum (?) out onto the road and had been instructed to go left, which we did. We were up the road only a short way when we heard the herd (pack) approaching from behind. They had given up on solving the check at the beer stop and decided just to join us, assuming - and you know what happens when you assume!) we were headed ("head" again?) in the correct direction.
Everyone really seemed to be taking it easy and no one was real concerned as to whether or not we were actually on trail. The day was just wonderful to enjoy! We kept going, and going, and going, and eventually we ended up approaching the PriceWaterhouseCoopers complex once again, and again everyone seemed to just be foraging their own way. Up the road we went, not following most of the group who had turned right to go through some woods. Soon we discovered that we did indeed need to go through the woods in order to get back to the garage. So we did, and then up the road and to the On-In. By this time it was getting just a little chilly because the sun was going down...
And so went another Sunday trail. Until next week, many happy trails...
On-On... DangeRously Close
After a few minutes of socializing and beer drinking on the garagetop parking lot, the circle was called to ORDER by the Spinal Tap, and his apprentice Religious Advisor (or RA in training) Great Balls of Fire. The hares were called forward and after some taunting from the crowd Pay-Per-View, Keyless Entry, The Mayor, and Burning Busch were recognized for "What A Shitty Trail", drank to "Here's To The Hares", and were quickly asked to leave. WOW Pay-Per-View... What a snazzy outfit. Love those pigtails!
Next Spinal and GBOF called the Virgins forward... OH BOY, lots of Virgins, plenty for the pickin'!. Tonight's "Meat For The Arena" group included:
| Name | Who Made Them Come | Temporary Hash Name | "Let Me See Your ..." |
|---|---|---|---|
| Betsy | Oral Gina | Liba Liquor | Vault |
| Tim | WhereDaFaKhawe | Where the Fuk are You | Carpet Match your Curtains? |
| Jack | Seeman First Ass | Butt Buddy | Shrinkage |
| Jaz | Drop Box | Night Deposit | Snow Balls |
| Todd | Take Me Drunk I'm Home | She Round One | Icicle |
| Dave | just Paul | Brown Noser | Iceballs |
| Kate | just Beth | Goes It Alone | Master Bader |
| Lisa | Cock Spit & Pulls It Out | Premature Ejaculation | Pumper |
| Sharon | just Teresa | Mother Teresa's Little Gem | Warm Tit |
Our virgins were instructed on the finer points of rapid beer consumption by GBOF. They drank to the tune of "Why Were They Born So Beautiful", welcome Virgin Class Of #629, enjoy the hash. At about this time it began to get jus a little cold and very WINDY - the Arctic air was upon us - and several large HUDDLE CLOSE FOR WARMTH groups formed. Boy, talk about BODY WARMTH at it's best!!
WE had only two (2) VISITORS, they were Rudolf from Lisbon, and just Steve from San Diego. They got their souvenir mugs and drank and were welcomed into our merry band.
WE had five (5) LONG TIME NO SEErs they included. (1) Boob-a- Lube, (2) Dream Beaver, (3) Wheels, (4) Pecker Checker, and (5) Banana Nuts.
This week we had LOTS of VIOLATORS!! They included:
Our yellow "I NEED A NAME" hats were absent this week, therefore we had no namings. Boo Hiss!
Her Highness Black Box was ready and very willing to pass along the award. Nominations included Pulls It Out for his deflated hammer and Black Box once again for her loss of the Full mOOn flag. The deflated hammer won - I think everyone was really applauding its dernise - and so Pulls It Out was honored with the award and the revered Hashit was passed.
We had our announcements, see announcements in the TRASH for any relevant information. Spinal and GBOF lead us in song to the tune of Swing Low. OUESTION: When is the WH4 669th Hash ANSWER: Some Time In The Future. That's all we are out of here.
The location of the On-On-On was The Blue Iguana just one quarter mile away from the circle. We were on our own regarding food and beer with the houses happy hour pricing. Several of the restaurant's regular patrons were watching us questionly as we filed in wearing our usual On-On-On attire. Since we had finished up the circle rather quickly, the crowd was a little larger than usual. We were all graced with the surprise presence of Meat Puppet and Exhibit A&B... hey guys, you've finally found your way back? We were spread out ALL over the place... the bar area and the intimate round dining area. Also making an appearance - in high fashion I might add! - was Had-A-Madam. Lots of people enjoyed the fine foods and beer. As the evening went on the crowd thinned and FINALLY the hash was history for another week.
BBT's special opportunity to FINGER the SPECIAL "LITTLE PEOPLE" of the hash for recognition!!!!
Since I, DangeRously Close, am filling in for Big Bird Turd this week (while he is off skiing - thanks for taking us Birdman) this section is temporarily empty. Tune in again next week... I'm sure BBT will finger someone then (?)???
On, On, DangeRously Close (filling in for His Royal Scribness: Big Bird Turd)
#631 January24: 3:00PM The Bitchin' Hash - promises to be a real
bitchin' time! Hares: 50 $ Bitch, Fussy Bitsh, Driving Ms Bitch, &
Put The Bitch Down, Start: TBD, On-On-On: TBD
#632 January 31: 3:00 PM Super Bowl Hash Hares: Love Me Tender &
No Butts, No Glory (fourth year in a row!), Start: TBD, On-On-On: ThD
#633 February 7: 3:00 PM Hares: Great Balls Of Fire, Bite Me
Elmo, & (just) Susan, Start: TBD, On-On-On: TBD
#634 February 14: 3:00 PM Valentine's Day Hash Hares: Shave Me
Elmo & Put It Out, Start: TBD, On-On-On: TBD
#635 February 21: 3:00 PM The Honeymoon's Over / Post Mardi Gras
Hash Hares: Jimi Hendrix & Oralgina, Start: TBD, On-On-On: ThD
#636 Febru~ 28: 3:00 PM Belgian Nash Hash Pre-Lewd Hares: Pav
Per View & ?, Start: Van Dorn Metro, On-On-On: Nick's
WE ARE ALWAYS LOOKING FOR HARES. If interested, contact GBOF at 703-8764772.
WHITE HOUSE WINTER HASH WEEKEND: January 22-24,1999,
Friday January 22 PUB CRAWL Chief Hare Rude Boy
Saturday January 23 - Prime Time Party WHITE HOUSE H4 POST
CHRISTMAS PARTY: Saturday January 23, 1999, Forest Glen Ballroom,
Silver Springs, Maryland. Its NOW $35.00 so PAY UP SOON!!!!!
Sunday January 24 11:00AM Fat Boys Recovery Hash & Brunch Chief
Hare: Spinal Tap, Post Party Fat Boys Hash, Bloody Mary's, mimosas,
etc. location TBD.
Sunday January 24 3:00 PM - Normal Weekly Hash Chief Hare: Fussy
Bitch
MOUNT VERNON H3 6OOth HASH & "FIRST BLUE MOON OF 99" FULL MOON HASH: Friday January 29,1999 This will be a JOINT hash to begin at 7:00 PM. Mclean VFW, Band, Beer, Pizza and LOTS OF FLN. Hares: Stained Sheets, Full Metal Balls, Perk-A-Set, Big Bird Turd, Start: Mclean VFW, Spring Hill Road & Old Dominion Road McLean VA, On-On-On: Mclean VFW Spring Hill Road & Old Donrinion Road Mclean VA
THE TERRA PORCUS LUX HASH HOUSE HARRIERS 2nd ANAL GROUNDHOG DAY RAT HASH: Tuesday, February 2nd, 1999 Check in starts around 8pm the night before, in Gobbler's Knob, Punxsutawney, PA, cost is only $19.99! See DangeRously Close for details, or TuTu Fairy at http://kanzelmeyer.cimplenet.com/hash/tplhhh.
MARDI GRAS MADNESS IX HASH WEEKEND: Feb 12-16 1999. Fussy Bitch is leading a tripto the great city of New Orleans to raise some hell and drink some beer over Mardi Gras. OOPS! You're too late! Sorry. However, if you end up in New Orleans we'd love to have you stop by and visit us at the Roachway... I mean Roadway Inn.
AUSSIE NASH HASH '99: April 2-4,1999 http://www.hhh.asn.au/events/Nash99_l.html
AFRICA INTERHASH '99: June 4-6 1999 In Zimbabwe, near Lake Victoria. See Mellow Foreskin Cheese for details.
UK NASH HASH '99: August 27-30 1999 http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/stephentaylor/nashhash.htm
AMERICAS INTERHASH '99: September 3-6 1999. Hosted by Pittsburgh H3, Pennsylvania. Contact Jim "Whiff' Montgomery, (412)431-7350, or "Dead Kennedy," e-mail brady@serviceware.com. Offical address: InterAmericas Hash '99, John Olson, 723 5th St, Oakmont, PA 15139 USA. e-mail IAH99@webtv.net - Internet: www.interhash.simplenet.com/REGFORM.html (rego form)
VIRGINIA INTERHASH: September 17-19,1999. Hosted By The Tidewater Hash House Harriers, Location Tidewater Virginia. Plan on camping. Cost (currently) is $69.69, contact Fart Master at Fartmstr@erols.com or Little Richard Duffer2525@aol.com for details.
EUROHASH 99: September 17-19,1999. Location central Turkey http://www.dominet.com.tr/users/ersin/hash/Eurohash '99 Drinks On Me Bud is contemplating another group excursion, details to follow. If you missed Bud's KL trip, don't repeat your mistake. See Drinks On Me Bud for details.
DC RED DRESS WEEKEND OD MADNESS: October 1-3,1999. Full Moon Lounge-Array Hash On Friday 7:00 PM October 1, Red Dress Run Friday 15:00 PM October 2, Recovery Brunch Hash Sunday 10:00AM October 3. Details to follow.
PAN ASIA HASH '99: October 29-31, 1999 http://www.softwest.net.au/panasia99
INTERHASH 2000: February 25-27, 2000 Tasmania, Australia