Date: June 21, 1999
Hares: Dumb Blond, $50 Bitch, Fellatio Throw
Beer Crew: Cervix With a Smile
Location: DuPont Circle, Washington DC
So like it was soooooo like warm. And like we were all like totally sweating and gross. Gag me! We started at the Froot Loop and like there was this hasher there, who like whata dork, signed in as a virgin, like duh...he had a hash name and everything - Choirboy - and like even started his own like hash in Nigeria, which, is like so totally far away.
Off we went in total like confusion, as 1-900-Fantasy Maiden (a blond!), AmKneesia, Bad Dog, Beasty Bush, Big Bird Turd, Blows the Cradle (a blond), Duck Job (not a blond), Drinks on Me, Bud, Deposit In The Rear, Dick is Fine, Dirty and Hairy, Eat Me For Breakfast, and For Sale or Rent (who like had to explain to visitor Fu** Monkey, what a lemming is..like duh! We all know that's the stuff you put in your hair to like make it Blonde..duh!) ran around and around Dupont Circle like the herrings we are.
Trail was spied heading down like a totally busy like street so the pack, like went that way.
We came to a park, where we stopped to check our like hair, which was like so totally gross, and like limp, ‘cause we were like exercising. Like gross. Breathless, Celtic Climax, Circle Jerk, Cock Spit (who has, like, awesome hair, too bad she's a brunette) Couch Potato, Dick is Fine, Drop Box, Dumb and Dumber, Fag (who like really felt cosy at Dupont Circle) Finger Pickin' Good (not a true blond) Goomba, and Holiday Ho, stopped to help each other fix their hair before heading over the bridge and into the woods.
Down we like went like ouch onto Rock Creek Parkway, where like all we did was, like run. In Your Dreams (call him Phil), Jimi Hendrix, Latin Anal-ist (not a blond), Leaky Tampon (like gross!), Leave It In Beaver (a sorta blond), Holy Tit, Gus, Had-a-Madam, Ground Chuck, Looney, Lord Snotsicle, Love Me Tender (like omigod!! Its Elvis!!), Mammorex (not a blond), Mighty Tight (not a blond), Mellow ForSkin Cheese (who like wasn't REALLY like running- he autohashs!), were all like bummed like totally ‘cause like there was like no where to shop. Kept, like running despite what it was doing to their like makeup.
Up a butt kickin' hill to Connecticut Ave, over the bridge, down the street and to the Irish Embassy for a few Margaritas ‘cause like that is the national drink of Ireland. Where there are lots of like blondes. Seen like drinking blond ale were Sorry My Knees Hurt, Out of The Bush, Puck Me In the Crease, Oralgina, Pulls Out Early (with like his new like haircut like cool and goatee thingie), RamRod, Shave Me Elmo, Shriveled Seal (not a blond), Slip Knot, Room Service (not a blond), Spits It Out, Spinal Tap (definitely not a blond!) Steamer's Bitch, Stool Sample (who's not a blond but his like woman The Body is..what like good taste!) Sucks It Blue (who just dreams of blonds), Tart Wheel (who is an honorary blond), Zimboobwe, Well Drilled (neither are blond, but both are fast - wink wink nudge nudge), Watergate, Watch It Jiggle, Vominatrix (blond), Urban CowWhore, Tidy Bowl, and the Hasher Formally Known As... they also like mooned the embassy.
After being refreshed and with no one to carry our shopping bags, we skipped the rest of the trail like duh, like half the pack like followed like Tart Wheel and Holy Tit who like couldn't find their way out of a paper like sack and headed straight to the alley behind Mr. Day's where were like we drank and like ate.
On On BiteMelikeElmo
GBOB (like how blond..like its like GBOF!) started the circle by calling in the hares to drink twice to the welcome sounds of "What a Shitty Trail." We were honored to have Hizzoner Mayor For Life Mayor Barry in attendance who may not have liked his experience with these hares since he was heard to exclaim "Bitch set me up."
Virgins: who were divided into two groups, da boys
and da girls and collectively named Cluster Fuck:
Da boys - Doug, Pillin, Allan, David, William, Justin, Matt
(Mellow Foreskin Cheese's nephew and Godson), Gott, David, and
Ryan
Da girls - Megan, Gene, and Karen.
Visitors:
Long Time No-seers:
Naming:
(Just) Nancy with 11 runs is a sales rep. for Marriott
International and loves horses. Nominations were: Hotel Ho, Horse
Cock Bender By the Horn, Cold Call, Rug Burn, Cork & Screw, Pork &
Screw, Greasy Sheets, Chicken Fuck, Suck My Drumstick. It came down
to a run off between Room Service and Small Change, Big Tits. She
will forever be known in the White House Hash and throughout the
world of hashing as
(Just) Alice with 18 runs does health care for Ernst & Young and has frequently been known to be romantically inclined. Hint Hint. Nominations were Boy Scout, Pig Fucker Her, Cookie Nookie, Giorgieo Wood, I Wanta Humper a Lot, Thin Mint, Pretty Mouth, Squeals Like a Pig. . From now on, she will forever be known in the White House Hash and throughout the world of hashing as
Violations and Celebrations:
OnOn.... Mellow Foreskin Cheese