Warning:  This paper contains random rantings, poor attempts at humor, general dribbling, innuendo, and blatant lies written by various WH4 hashers in order to embarrass, taunt, and otherwise cause rumors about other members of the hash!  All facts, real and imagined, are written with no basis in reality other than what the scribes mental state is at the time of writing.

WH4 run #698, March 5, 2000
Moist Sushi and Suck Eat And Lei
Georgetown University – The Preppy Hash

WOW, we had a lot of people here today, yeah it was nice out, especially warm too with the fire nearby.  It appeared that our “Down Under” hashers had returned to drink with us. Those back were Big Bird Turd (nice outfit), Perk-A-Set, Late Cummer, Mello Foreskin Cheese, Hasher Humper, Spinal Tap, Two Lips On A Dyke, Dick In The Headlights, French Toasted, Eat It Raw,Champagne Charlie, Great Puck, Missed Erections, Dick In The Headlights, and French Toasted.  Our Tasmaniacs also brought back a new song with them, it goes like this:

She finally has shut up.  She's finally quit her bitchin'.  So drink your beer, Get out of here and get back to the kitchen.

At 2 minutes and 30 seconds into the hash (Puts it Out was counting), we were lost, but what’s new?  At the time it seemed inevitable that the hash was heading into the fire, I was quite surprised that PIO didn’t lead us there.   At 3 minutes and 2 seconds we were nearing the GW football field—the pack started chanting, “Kill the Hares!”  This trail took us all around and through the GT campus (they should make this the standard GT campus tour for prospective students, I mean partiers!)  Of course the best part of the tour was seeing the moist “sushi” (goldfish) farm—an oh-too-quaint pond with benches, trellises, and other corny decorations for those romantic hashers (GAG!).

Somewhere during our tour we had a little break, while the FRB’s searched ahead (who said head?).  Anyway, I witnessed an affair in action, yeah, and I mean action, Two Lips On A Dyke and Cyclops.  However, they were being very secretive and trying to disguise their conversation by speaking in a different tongue.  Well HA!  This scribe is multi-lingual and I know what you said!  Here is my translation: “fklsdjfos ajdjslfsdf  oxjlwlnpw  ajsdjfsdlfjds  jaocnn;zojnms!”

We encountered a campus fight, Georgetown style (wimpy), between Duck Job and Holy Tit.  Of course Holy Tit initiated it.  It went something like this:

Holy Tit:  “You [Duck Job] didn’t wake up to run 10 miles with me this morning.”
Duck Job:  “Holy Tit, you have a small weenie.”
Holy Tit:  “Yeah, I know!”
Holy Tit:  “Let’s go and talk about this over a cappuccino at Starbucks.”
Duck Job:  “OK, but I have to stop by Fresh Fields and get some sushi first.”

ON! ON!  Off campus! YEAH!  Moist Sushi did a good job pretending that she had no clue (do you think she was really pretending?  Keep reading) where trail went.  Major Disappointment was among the first to complain, “how come there was no X down there?”  Meanwhile, trail was found.  Hanging out in the rear was Just Jennifer, please excuse Jennifer because this was her first hash, and we do want her to return, but I did overhear her referring to the run as a “R*CE!”  She could of done a down down, but why waste good beer on virgins?

Even though I fell on my face (nobody saw), the run kept going.  The pack came to a check, we found an X in one direction, oh, then an X in the other direction, oh shoot—there is another X, oh my, look that way, the trail just stops….Here is the quote for the day:

“Oh shit! There was supposed to be a check back there!”
    -Moist Sushi

Meanwhile, while pondering his thoughts of what to do next, WEeD sat on a tree stump and played with his hoya’s!  That is all I have to say about that.  We back-tracked a mile or two and got back on some trail.

Gaining a bit more exposure than the hash probably deserved, we made our way through Georgetown and finally made it to the beer stop.  Finally, the second hare, Suck Eat And Lei was seen, where had he been?  I think he was getting real with the beer before us!  Among the FRB’s to get to the beer were Shriveled Seal, Well Drilled, Just Chris, and Dumb-N-Dumber.  WDFK asked the pack what they thought of the first 1/3 trail.  The reply was “Kill the Rabbits!”  Geez, tell us what you really think!  HA! HA! Though, we didn’t let them drink for it!

Moving right along, the hounds took towards Rock Creek Parkway!  Hey, watch out for that !$*&@#! ( I was going to say branch, but Blowin’ in the Wind already knocked his noggin on it.)

The end was near.  Prior to the circle I got to fill in on some trail gossip.  I heard that Hawaiian Puke decided to do some shopping on trail.  Apparently he bought two puke shirts in some store and even modeled them in the store window.  A lovely couple who we all thought were on trail with us, ditched us for pizza instead (Puts It In and In Your Dreams!) (hey, no secret is safe with me) (oh, yeah, you already ran 5 miles this morning and biked to Bethesda and back - woah!)  FAG made three environmental stops on trail, and $50 bitch stopped to give another bitch some water.

Circle:
What did everyone think of that trail?  Of course most of us thought it sucked, but Holy Tit wanted it on the record that he really enjoyed it, especially the second half.

Virgins:
· 13 unlucky cock-suckers, graduates of the WH4 class of 698, and though it took two tries for the females to get it out, they wanted these cocksuckers to show them their shiny balls.
· 8 female virgins among us as well, the men wanted to see their snotty boxes!

Visitors:
Rotten Tail – Los Angeles
Queen of the Naked Mole Rats
Crunchy Chick
Miss Daisy

Violations:
I lost track, but the few that I did record were for Puts It In and In Your Dreams for skipping trail for pizza, WEeD for taking a taxi from the other side of the Key bridge, Spinal Tap and Hasher Humper for being hash fashionable, Hawaiian puke for modeling on trail, Big Bird Turd for collecting T-shirts on his latest hash world adventure, and Missed Erections for collecting men!  Among others were the Hares for renaming our hash WH3, and finally Dumb-N-Dumber for being the FRB and proclaiming himself the “wiener.”

Hashshit:
Just when you think it was time for the hashshit to be returned by Bolo Head Rat, it just was not possible.  He had something, it was a vest with a bunch of Mardi gras beads, panties, and I don’t know what else, WELL WHAT HAPPENED TO WH4’S TOILET BOWL PLUNGER????  WE WANT IT BACK BOLO HEAD!  HASH SHIT! HASH SHIT! HASH SHIT!  Stay tuned next week…

Next Hash:
5th Anal St. Patti's Day Hash - Sunday, March 19 at 3:00
Special price of  $4
Hares: Black Box, Mellow Foreskin Cheese, Blazing Straddle & Drop Box
Start and On On On: Mr. Day's Sport Bar
Wear something green. Once again we will have St. Patti's homemade Bailey's Irish Cream. Yum J
Visit www.dchashing.org/wh4 for further information.

-ON! ON! Hurley